"Watch your language, Masaomi. I didn't mean to imply that you are unintelligent but clearly scholastic skills are not your forte at all. We have been through this before. This reminds me, I could give you private kanji lessons. It would be very romantic."
"You do realize I know how to read already, right…?"
"It would be very romantic. Instead of your shameless flirting it is much better to spend quality time together in an intimate setting. It will develop our relationship."
"…you said 'very romantic' twice…"
"Also, it is more correct to say 'Edo period' instead of 'Edo age'. But I am happy you at least have a basic understanding of Japanese history."
"You don't actually listen to what I say, do you?"
Izaya interrupted.
"Mikado, your intentions are praise worthy and all the more reason to push for a legislation change right now. Think about it, it's not just getting people used to the idea but it's also using your resources to their best advantage. You know how politicians keep changing. Who can tell if you'll be able to pull strings on people in high places when the time comes? Not to mention, once you are powerful it will be much more difficult to move behind the scenes without attracting the wrong kind of attention."
"You raise some very important points."
"I'm your ally on this."
Mikado nodded.
"Yes, it suits your interests so I am sure I can trust you on this. Not that I actually trust you, of course. Write 'Ryuugamine Masaomi'".
This last bit was aimed at the calligraphy artist.
"Who's that?"
"I obviously mean you, Masaomi. When we get married you will adopt my family name. It's a cool name, too."
"…I'll pass."
"Oh, look at the time. It is getting late, I better escort you home."
"What are you talking about? It is only five."
"That is far too late. This city is becoming so dangerous as of late, I worry that those color gangs will do you harm since you are so cute and helpless. Especially those Yellow Scarves people, they seem to be back in action and up to no good."
The irony made Izaya chuckle.
"Er, I don't think you need to worry too much."
"I will have to deal with the ringleader on my own terms. It may very well include using the pen, it is impossible to reason with gang leaders. When I think that he may kidnap you, I hyperventilate."
Kida sighed.
"Look, just leave me alone. I can't handle having you breathing down my neck all the time!"
"I am also afraid of stalkers. You are such an easy target for a stalker. The other day I followed around for five whole blocks and you did not notice me. If you ever suspect that there is someone suspicious about you must tell me right away."
"There is someone suspicious stalking me already."
"And only now do you tell me? Why must you always be so careless."
"I meant you. You're a first class stalker! Using Dollars to keep tabs on me?"
Izaya decided to intervene yet again because it would not do for the conversation to carry on without his having a saying.
"By the way, Shizu-chan. I knew you'd find it difficult to tell your brother and Tom-san so I took the liberty of hacking into your facebook account,"
"I have a facebook account?"
"You do now. In reality you already have one but I bet someone just set it up for you and you forgot all about it. So I posted all about us on your wall. Figured people would think I was trolling unless there was some confirmation on your part."
Shizuo flailed as if he was not yet used to Izaya's ways.
"How? And when did you do this!"
"Just a while ago."
Mikado did not of course approve.
"This is why I would never use facebook. I only use sites I am in absolute control of, if I cannot be behind every little detail then I cannot be at ease."
"Control freak!"
Mikado went into lecturing mode.
"You also need to be very careful who you talk to online."
"Oh, shut up. You don't even know who Kanra is."
Kida was reaching that point of not caring.
"Masaomi, do you know something about Kanra-san?"
Izaya stepped between them, all smiles. Shizuo shivered.
"Now, now, you boys should be exploring your love instead of talking about online people. How about that exchange diary? I am sure Kida-kun will have a lot of fun writing on it. A shame I can't do the same with Shizu-chan, he never got around to learning how to read."