Scenes from a Hat
Notes: My other computer died for good so I'm having trouble getting things done. I might stop writing for this at twenty five or thirty. I'm not sure which. Meh, I'm going to have trouble keeping up with my updates from here on out. I rediscovered fanfiction so I've actually been reading. I've also been doing a lot of one shots lately on top of my strange updating schedule... It must annoy people.
I hate insomnia. And I'm still taking requests for this thing. Later on, I'm planning to do another thing of one shots/ short stories. (Whichever makes you feel less like you're reading something incomplete.) I might do it following the end to this one or after the end of Ride like the Wind. (And Lovecraft Anon. does not count because it's far from over at this point. Anyway, I've wasted enough of everyone's time by writing this big old note (I could write an episode of Seinfeld!) so let's see what we have in store for our four favorite guys. ...Or they all should be your favorites. (Kurama and Hiei are real hams, you know?)

Story whatever whatever whatever: Creation of a Great Band

So Yusuke had a brilliant idea one day. "Hey, let's be the new internet sensation! Let's start a band!" The other three looked at him like he was crazy. "I'm serious!"

"I know you are but... Really?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yeah really! Okay, so I was thinking we'd be a rock band. I actually started writing lyrics in my closet last night. I was texting this guy I met on the internet and then it hit me that..."

"Yusuke, I honestly don't give a crap about your day. I'm saying no. I already know what's gonna happen and then we'll all feel stupid and then I'll try to stay away from you guys until you force me into another one of your stupid carnivals again," Hiei growled.

"Hiei, it's male bonding. Does that sound stupid to you?" Yusuke slapped a hand on his shoulder.

"It sounds homoerotic and disgusting. So yes, it does."

"Yeah, well, you see homoeroticism everywhere you go. Can it. since we're talking right now, what instrument do you play?"

"Violin. See, I'm not any help."

"Violin. You're frickin lying man."

"No, I've seen him play before. Apparently he apsires to play The Devil's Trill to perfection. He has problems," Kurama replied.

"Well, crap! What about you?"

"Which one? I know piano, clarinet, flute, guitar, drums, cymbals, xylophone, oboe, cello, picolo, bells..."

"How the hell do you know that many?"

"If you're the main character in eighty percent of fanfiction, you'd be like that too..."

"Okay. I won't argue with you. I can play bass..."

"I can play the drums! Lemme be the drummer, Urameshi! I can play the drums like nobody's business and I can even put all the greatest drum players to shame! And if I'm a drummer then Yukina'll think I'm even cooler!" Kuwabara said, waving a hand around frantically like a child desperately trying to get a teacher's attention... Or the same situation except a middle schooler.

"No one asked your opinion Kuwabara. And everyone knows that drummers are the scum of the earth," Hiei replied.

"You play the violin! How's that any better for a rock band if you even know what a rock band is! Well do you? Hmm?"

"...I really like Led Zepplin... And Aerosmith... And Van Halen, Pink Floyd, Iron Maiden..."

"How do you find out about these things...?" Yusuke stared. "Anyway... So let's discuss band names."

"Okay, well, I have one ground rule. It has to be something that I can tell my mom because if I tell her I'm going to start a band with my friends, she'll ask me what the name of the band and then she'll start crying if it's inappropriate," Kurama replied sheepishly.

"That's why you lie and tell her you went to play videogames or lie about the name of the band," Hiei replied.

"Would YOU lie to YOUR mom?" Kuwabara asked. When Hiei shrugged, he growled, "What do you mean I dunno?"

"Maybe because she's dead."

"Liar."

"What makes you think I am...?" And then he looked like a was going to jump off a bridge... Which no one drowns in because it's the one in the sandbox in the park. There was an awkward silence.

"Okay so name ideas... That are inappropriate..." An idea came to Yusuke's mind. "How about Pornographic Meatloaf?"

"Yusuke!" Kurama was appalled and looked like he was going to puke sand... For some odd reason.

"Or Looking for Tush? Centerfold? Penthouse? Playboy? A Rocket named after..."

"Quit that! Just stop!"

Kuwabara came on to it. "Kitty in the Middle? Two balls?"

Hiei was about to open his mouth when Kurama elbowed him in the throat, growling, "Don't you even think about it!"

"You don't even know what I was going to say! That hurt, you idiot!" Hiei growled. "I was just going to say I didn't come all the way over here to hear this crap. I'm out."

"Oh. In that case, I'm going too."

"Okay, we'll do G Rated names. Any ideas? Hiei you look like a guy that knows cool names. Say words," Yusuke said. No response. "Okay..."

Keiko walked. "Hey, there you all are. Um, Yusuke..."

"Get out, we're bonding! Go do whatever girls do in their free time, I don't care if it's lighting farts on fire! Get out!" Yusuke pushed her out of the room. "Um... Gunblade Dragon Rose! Spirit Guns and Rose Whips!" The other three dismissed it as a stupid idea. "Okay, then tell me a good name."

"Bomb Shelter Men?"

"Happiness at the Discotec?"

"Forgotten Blimp?"

"Wind Maker?"

"These ideas all suck," Hiei growled. He threatened to leave again.

"Fine! Let's just go to the part where we make kick ass rock and roll!" So they gathered their instruments and they pressed the record button. And then they began to play... Then they turned off the recording device. Kurama put on his headphones and listened... Then he looked a little disgusted.

"What's wrong? It didn't record and someone has something nasty recorded on there?" Kuwabara asked.

"Worse. We sound like the Japanese version of Fallout Boy," Kurama replied. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. "Look, they have a bunch of fangirls."

"Fangirls are good. Well, we call em groupies now because we're in a band."

"Well, they're an American band. With AMERICAN fangirls."

"Oh god! That is bad!"

"I don't get it," Hiei replied. "Not because I like the idea. I don't get the analogy at all."

"Hiei, you ever have that annoying twelve year old girl stalk you promising to give you enternal love or some crap but she just really, really, REALLY just wants to get in your pants?" Yusuke asked.

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Okay, so multiply that by a thousand percent."

"...I want to puke."

"Okay, so what's the plan? How do we appeal to Japanese girls and then not get those psychos?"

"Yusuke, if you've ever met an anime fangirl, or anyone who calls themself an otaku like it's a good thing, there's no stopping them. We might have to stop this," Kurama replied.

"No! I refuse!"

"...I just puked. Watch your step," Hiei said.

"What, you couldn't find a trashcan or the bathroom!" Yusuke growled.

"Well, I thought I'd be okay if we stayed away from you-know-whats and then you mentioned the so called other you-know-whats and then I couldn't hold it in anymore. It's your fault."

"Yeah, I saw it happen," Kuwabara added.

"And you didn't grab anything for him to barf in? No, you just sat there like 'Oh look he's going to puke, that's nasty' and you didn't do anything about it. You're cleaning it up now!"

"Why?! I'm not the one that puked!"

"But you didn't stop him!"

"Well, you kept mentioning American fangirls and then you made him do it!"

"Oh god... Please stop..." Hiei looked a little green.

"Well, shut up and swallow it, d bag!" Yusuke growled. "Kuwabara, shut it and clean it. I don't want him puking anymore."

Kuwabara started pouting and then finally grabbed a mop, grumbling about how the drummer always gets the abuse... Which was strange considering how he was actually playing the tamborie.

"Okay, Kurama, you got any ideas on how to avoid you-know-who?" Yusuke asked.

"Oh, well, that's easy. See, you destroy the horcruxes and then you learn a spell like Advra Kadavra and..." Kurama was interrupted.

"You dweeb, I meant, THE THINGS RIGHT NOW. Freaking Dungeons and Dragons people..."

"It's called Harry Potter and it's lots more times awesomer than Dungeons and Dragons!" Yes, Kurama just said awesomer.

"Go read some REAL fantasy like Lord of the Flies or World of Warcraft, not that fruity wand waving crap!"

"It's Lord of the Rings and WOW is a computer game. I'm quiting... Come on, Hiei, before you puke again..." Hiei practically ran after him, though he was still feeling the effectos of nasuea.

"Fine, run, jerks!" Yusuke gave them the finger.

"I'm leaving too because you made me clean puke. Jerk," Kuwabara growled as he dropped the towel on Yusuke's shoes.

"...I hate you all." And so came the Yoko to their... Er... Well, thus came the end to a potentially great band.

End of story

Sorry it was long... So the bands paradied in order of mentioning... Guns n Roses, Fallout Boy, Panic! At the Disco, Led Zepplin, Aerosmith. And yes, I went there... Fangirls. They're the same no matter where you go but seeing that I'm an American, I'd probably see only crazy fangirls here. Meh. Don't complain.