Author's note: OANf Agoaeoi N{OIN gnJNF OGNERAGIN ngrjnrskjgn soianoinl JNoanjA kjAkjnoNOAnjnaodn adjngwjegbjrgbjr jsbgoqeqbg oienOInoeing JBNON G WKE GWkjBKJBG SKJBG JNBjJGSNRJG JGNljnjnjnjnkjdnjgs osngsgn onsgnigr sbgo srnogpwritu gnhieropaf kgbb gqwer g jtg w4 tg4wtjrg'ja 5eaw ae5g erg keajhgrjgb aekbvjnrbb kketnabb asinfgha erngaeo[h 3j5ng;wke gkwje tg;ikw3j 5ij q3ijgh iqj qike h qkje hkr hkrh kej kejqejnf ajfngoie35 a;kjhre jebnh jKN;KAJRNHE A;KRJH; kjahkeh-aeith-ieath-aerihb iehr erbge ghj hj k j jhjh;h ;jhhjhjhjh; ; h; j ;jhbiub.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me crash at your place," Sam said as Marin offered him a bowl of cereal.

"No problem. I remember how Cas was kind of flighty, and if he's really some sort of fallen angel, then he's probably really disoriented. I still owe you one for clearing up my ghost problem."

"Oh, that was nothing, really. My brother and I do that sort of thing all the time."

"But this is big. Something's got you worried," Marin guessed.

Soon, Sam found himself spilling everything to her, from the moment his mother died on the top of his nursery, his ill-fated childhood and time at Stanford, and their crazy trek to track down John. He touched over everything from opening Hell, trading souls, taking down Azazel. Flipping the on switch of the Apocalypse, getting tangled up in the angels-versus-angels mess, stapling the world back together, getting worn by Lucifer, losing his soul. Opening Purgatory. Cas letting out the Leviathans in his urgency to defeat Raphael, spending the better part of a year trying to kill Dick Roman and his cronies. His voice shook a bit as he described the time Dean and Cas in Purgatory and the angel's reluctance to get out. He recounted all of their troubles with Crowley, with his demons. He told her about the Men of Letters, about his noble grandfather and his not-so-noble grandfather. He talked angels and Leviathans, ghost hunts and Ghostfacers. Finally, he explained the tablets, Kevin, and the trials, how he'd spent months completing these impossible tasks only to let it all slip away at the end. He expressed his never-ending frustration that he hadn't just stuck his hand across Crowley's face and allowed himself to die.

"I think of all the people who have already died since I let it go, and I can't help blaming myself for every single one. I just wish Dean had let me die, let me save everyone. Every death is on me now."

To finish it off, he explained the garbled version of the angel trials that Cas had gone through. How Metatron's betrayal had cast all the angels down to Earth and Cas was practically suicidal. Then, the battle in front of the bunker and Cas's broken foot.

"I don't know how he's doing, he really only ever talks to Dean," he said finally. "But I'm worried about both of them. Dean is being really, really spiteful. They were practically on the verge of picking out curtains and stuff together, and now this. Dean deserves him, they both deserve to be happy, but the stupid bastards keep ruining it for themselves!"

"Whoah," Marin said after Sam had finished his lengthy monologue. "That's quite the tale."

Sam angrily poured himself a bowl of cereal and chewed spitefully.

"I hate my life," he allowed.

The search for Cas was difficult even to think about. They couldn't file a missing person's report, as he wasn't a person. His alias was already under scrutiny, when the Social Security number they had used turned out to be that of an eight-year-old girl living in San Francisco The local police were already in over their heads dealing with brand new people, luckily, so Sam and Cas weren't under too much pressure. Still, he couldn't continue to be Luke Cervine. Sam, with some help from Marin, hacked into the computer's security footage. Cas had been surprisingly normal-looking, putting on his jeans and stealing a button-down from the surgeon's changing rooms. He adapted to the crutches surprisingly well. Sam watched, impressed, as the footage showed Cas flirting his way past the nurses' station. He walked out of the lobby, and the footage ended.

"Well, if you were Cas, where would you go?"

"I don't know. He's like a wise old man in some ways and a cranky toddler in most others."

"Take a guess."

"He isn't going back home, that's for sure, not after what happened. Maybe we should check the local zoos and stuff."

It was late afternoon and they had had no luck finding Cas. They had checked the zoo, the aviary, the aquarium, the local police stations and bars. Marin called in a family emergency, and another nurse owed her a favor, so she was free for the evening. They stopped at a McDonald's for a quick dinner. Sam wolfed down his burger and called Charlie to check in.

"Hey, Sam, any luck?" Despite only having known Cas for a few days, Charlie had taken a liking to the poor guy. There was something about the Winchesters and choosing lost puppies for friends, and lost puppies clung together.

"No, I was just calling to see if you guys have found anything." Charlie had been checking footage from the bunker, calling places pretending to be a police dispatcher.

"I got a visual about two minutes ago of a guy in crutches hailing a taxi."

"Where?" Sam asked, hopeful.

"Seventh Street and Land-view."

"We're at the fast food place about two minutes from there."

"Where d'you think he'd be heading?" Charlie asked. Sam heard shouting in the background.

"Uh, is everything okay over there, Charlie?"

"Oh, it's just Dean. He makes a Leviathan look docile when he's worried."

"Really?" Sam was amused for a second. "He usually just gets all abrasive."

"He really cares for the guy, and he won't calm down."

"Dean, put down the god damn- OW!" Sam heard from the background.

"Fuck off, man," Dean shouted.

"I got to go. Find him," Charlie said, hanging up.

"Cas." Dean was quite drunk. Crowley had finally shut him in his bedroom, and he didn't really care where he was. He collapsed on the bed, speaking to an empty room.

"Cas, I know this is kind of pointless and stupid 'cause you can't hear me anymore, now that your stupid feathery ass ain't so feathery anymore.

"You are a stupid son of a bitch, you know that? I shut down my walls for a little bit to let you in and you go and break your damn foot and you hurt my fucking feelings and then you left, you stupid asshole.

"I don't let just anyone in, Cas, and I've fallen for you. So why the fuck aren't you catching me?"

Dean huffed and rolled over.

"Get your dumb ass back here. That is an order."

Cas got out of the cab, thanking the driver, swaying slightly on his non-cast foot. It was ironic, sleeping in a motel alone. He chuckled dryly to himself. It was a very Winchester thing to do, run off and hide in a crappy inn. Funny that the Winchesters were who he was running from. Well, not so much Sam, or any of the other surrogate Winchesters, but Dean. Things were funny on these 'drug' things. Cas liked them, despite the taboo on them and their users.

He walked (limped?) up to the front desk.

"I need a room."

"Most people coming here do."

"Also, do you have a phone? There's someone I need to call."