Chapter twenty-one

The door to the office creaked open forcing Mac to look up from the computer screen and search the doorway – a short blonde body that she recognised stood there peering at her with her big blue eyes and an anxious smile "Hello beautiful" she said as she pushed herself and her chair out so that there was nothing protruding her view of the newest guest "Where is your mum?" she looked behind her but couldn't see the slightly taller woman that this child belonged to – she didn't exactly think that Evelyn was here with a check coming to ask her to help solve a case.

"Coming through" a voice boomed up the hallway, as little Eve stepped away from the doorway, Veronica appeared holding Aubrey at arms length in a fast pace "Tell Aunt Mac about what you are doing with school" she walked straight past the desk and headed towards the toilets

"Aub pooed her pants" Evelyn said with a shrug of her shoulders

"Bet you can't wait till your pops out" Veronica yelled as she disappeared

"What are you doing with school?" Mac said as the little girl walked over and sat on the available lap room

"I get to be an alien" Evelyn looked so proud of the announcement, Mac smiled and nodded "Do you want to come?"

"Always" Mac said without skipping a beat despite the fact that she had no clue what she was signing up for

"Context darling" Veronica yelled "Next Friday Evelyn's school is having a concert about American history – sans the bad bits – and Evie's class is going first man on the moon. Stop squirming" Mac assumed the last part was directed to the individual who had crapped their pants

"Do you get to say anything?" Evie ferociously nodded

"Welcome to da moooooooooon"

X-x-x-x-x-x

"Honey, I'm hoooome" he exaggerated his words as he walked into their house, the dog at his feet and the television playing loudly in the distance. Dick found Mac lying on the couch – putting chocolate in her mouth as she divided her time between a magazine and trying to get comfortable "You better not be spoiling your dinner – I just brought every item on that vegan restaurants menu"

"Look at you being all cute and stern – we'll make a dad out of you yet" she smiled at him

"You still in that horny stage?" he smirked

"I'll tell you later" she smiled and then frowned "I hate to say it but I'm not hungry"

"Says the woman who sent me ten text messages in the span of half an hour about how hungry she was and how un-welcome I would be if I did not provide food" she had clarified in an eleventh message that she was 'sort of' kidding about that last part. Mac shrugged her shoulders and shot him an apologetic smile "I thought this might happen" he said putting down all the bags on the floor and retrieving a box "I don't suppose that you would want these" she clapped her hands in delight as he passed her the box of donuts. He watched as she opened the box and salivated – only to be interrupted by her ringing cell phone.

"You better not touch these – I've counted them" she said as she winched herself off the couch and walked towards another room, his puppy – who was well past being a puppy – following her

"Wouldn't dream of it" he said as he took her seat and grabbed a donut, if he was going to put up with pregnant Mac he was going to need some sugar. Literally and metaphorically. It took about five minutes for Mac to reappear, he turned to look at her "You okay?" he was trying to interpret her facial expressions

"My dad died" she said perplexed as Dick stood up panicked

"WHAT? Was that your mum? Oh my god Mac, What happened? Why cant I stop asking questions, I'm so sorry" he stepped forward to hug her but she pushed him back

"Not my dad Sam, my biological dad. Charles Sinclair. I just got off the phone with Madison" she seemed to be more perplexed by the fact that it had been Madison who had called her to let her know

"Shit" he was trying to work out what to say, while in Neptune he had to deal with his fair share of death and this definitely wasn't the first time it involved a parent, but how do you deal with the death of your girlfriends father who she had never had contact with "Are you okay?" he asked as she returned to her donuts and picked up her magazine "Mac?"

"What?" she looked up at him with a donut in her mouth "I'm fine" with a shrug of her shoulders she turned to him "In all honesty I didn't know the guy, I met Ellen but I never met him."

"You are still allowed to be sad. What did Madison say?"

"She said that her mum had asked her to call and that the funeral would be Wednesday. I don't really want to talk about it" Mac nuzzled into the chair, after a moment of watching her Dick did the same "Oh" he sat up at the speed of lightening and looked at her – wanting to give her all the support and love in the world, whatever she needed "On Friday, Evie is going to be in a concert, clear your schedule cause we are going" she smiled as she continued to tell Dick about the antics of the day. He left a supportive smile on his face and hoped that it contained his confusion. In so many ways Dick knew what it was like to lose someone that you never really knew, courtesy of Neptune, but he always had had a stronger reaction than this.

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It was the morning of the funeral, Mac's mind was in a million different places – she could feel herself psychologically blocking any brain attempts to go deeper than surface level because she really wasn't sure what was lurking in those deep dark pits. The one thing about living on the beach in Neptune was that in the mornings the rooms were filled with bright sunshine that warmed you from the outside in. Mac walked down the stairs and into the smell wafting from the kitchen – it was delicious. Mac's morning sickness had subsided and her hormones had somewhat levelled out or at least calmed down – but the one pregnancy side effect that she just couldn't get rid of was her ravenous nature towards food, if she could consume it she would. She felt like Pavlov's dog – the fridge opened and she was hungry, her eyes opened and she was hungry, a piece of cutlery hitting the side of a bowl somewhere in the far distance and she was practically salivating. Mac could identify the food simply by the smell – just like bear in the big blue house. This morning was clearly pancakes and saliva was pooling – Dick made the best pancakes in the world, she didn't know what he did to them or what he put in them but they were amaze balls. Every time she asked him for the recipe, he would shrug it off or claim it as a heirloom – "the only good thing that came out of the Casablancas name" – Mac hoped that when she popped this baby out, he would confide in 'it' and she would bribe it out of the kid. She walked into the kitchen and smiled at him shuffling and humming away in the kitchen

"Pancakes for my love" Dick said as he turned around and put them on the bench behind him as Mac was left wondering whether he could see her in the window as she walked into the room or if she was already walking like an elephant.

"My kryptonite" she said leaning up for a kiss – it was hard to take her eyes off the pancakes but she managed to for at least a second to thank Dick for their presence. As she surveyed her immediate future and contemplated how she would go about demolishing them, Mac could feel Dick's gaze on her and sighed "Stop giving me the sympathy eyes" she said as she sat down, picking up a fork and digging into the pancakes that sat before her – you didn't let the Casablancas pancakes go cold, that was against the rules

"I'm not" he covered his eyes out of instinct, he lowered it feeling her gaze landing upon him "Okay I am but it's just cause today has the potential of being really tough and I just want to make sure you are okay, that your prepared for how hard it might be"

"Dick" she sighed exasperatedly "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm going to this funeral today because it's the right thing to do. I'm absolutely fine, I never knew the man – This isn't going to be hard for me" Mac looked back down at her plates, pushed them forward and got up from her seat

"Where are you going?"

"I don't want your sympathy pancakes either," she yelled to him as she walked back out of the room, now it was Dick's turn to be exasperated – he threw the spatula into the soapy water, he went to pick up the plate as Mac walked back into the room with a scowl on her face – she grabbed the plate from out of his hands and headed back in the direction she came

"Would you like cutlery?" he smirked, this was so the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with – even if she got shitty when all he wanted to do was support her

"NOPE"

X-x-x-x-x-x

They walked into the crowded church draped in black, pews were starting to fill up and Mac's eyes darted to the large picture of the prim and proper man with a smile on his face – a smile she recognised in herself. Dick grabbed her hand and squeezed it – a pressure she rolled her eyes at back at him with a smirk but that deep down she appreciated more than anything else today – while there was no way in hell that Dick was leaving her side – regardless of her insistence – or staying at home while she did this alone, Mac had managed to convince Veronica that she didn't need to come with her. While the conversation was extended and Veronica usually won these sorts of conversations – Mac had brought up that the last time Veronica and Madison had been in the same room that Madison had shown their whole graduating class Veronica's "sex tape" and that at the same event Veronica had punched Madison square in the nose. Dick didn't seem to care that he had dated Madison or that they hadn't exactly ended things on good terms. Dick quickly seized up space on the pew and dragged her over to it, as they sat down Mac got the chance to look around the room – it was filled people that fit in with her assumptions of Charles Casablancas and she wondered how many of the people in the room were there for appearances rather than love or proper grieving – she hoped that it wasn't many, she hoped that her 'father' was an 09-er with a difference and not a man so caught up in the corporate world that he couldn't appreciate the children or love or laughter around him. Her eyes then found their way to the front couple of pews, filled with family and she wondered what they were like, if they were like her or if money really did change things and they were like Madison. Dick squeezed her hand again and she hoped that he wasn't going to ask her if she was okay again "incoming" he said as she turned to face him – Mac's eyes darted to the Madison heading towards them. She was wearing a black A-line dress – at a length that Mac would never consider for a funeral or anywhere outside of a brothel – and a glum expression, accompanied by the usual luggage of grief – bloodshot eyes and deep bags. By the time Madison made it over to their pew, Dick had scoped out the emergency exits and had a plan – he of course would throw himself in front of Mac to protect their unborn baby and then maybe drag someone else in to protect his face.

"Madison" they both greeted within seconds of each other

"Thank you for coming" Madison was not making eye contact, it had clearly been a big deal for her to even make the phone call to let Mac know about their father – an olive branch that - despite the bad moments and torture that Madison inflicted on Mac and the people she loved – Mac would always appreciate. "Mum would really like if you would sit up the front with us"

"Oh, but."

"Dick can sit with us too" she almost seemed pained to say it, but that wasn't what Mac was thinking about – how would they explain her presence to the front to anyone else whether they knew their history or not "Lauren knows" while Mac was taken back by this information and had one hundred separate questions – like when did they tell her – but this was all besides the point, the olive branch was being continually extended and Madison was clearly already feeling stupid. She shot a look to Dick who shrugged his shoulders and began to collect their stuff. They walked behind Madison until they reached her family, Ellen had Lauren – who had aged dramatically since the last time she had seen her – resting on her shoulder, the young girl smiled briefly at them as greetings took place

"Cindy" Ellen said stepping forward and embracing Mac in her arms "I'm so glad that you are here" as she pulled back she noticed the protruding bump, her eyes found Mac's and asked without words – Mac nodded as a smile interrupted the grief on the older woman's face "And Dick" she embraced him as well "Madison had told me that you two were an item" Mac wondered how that conversation had gone and how many expletives and curses had been put against her name. They took a seat behind the immediate family – it took the pressure off, this wasn't the moment that Mac was going to join this family. As she went to take her seat for the service to take place, she scanned the room and her eyes landed on one more familiar face – her parents.

X-x-x-x-x-x

"Cindy" her mothers voice popped up behind her as she stood piling food onto her plate at the buffet, Dick was standing next to Natalie sweating bullets

"I was just telling your mum that I made us come today because I dated Madison in high school and I was really close with Charles" while he was speaking one hundred miles a minute, this wasn't far from the truth – Charles had been at times a real father figure when his own dad couldn't be.

"Babe" Mac put her free hand on her boyfriend's bicep " she knows we know" Natalie put her hand on his other arm to let him know that it was okay

"Can I talk to you honey?" Mac nodded and followed her mother, leaving Dick standing at the buffet table with her plate and the memory of a stern look that said if he ate any of the food she had selected to be on that plate she would be banning their child from surfing and turning them against his football team. "How long have you known?" Natalie asked as they stepped into a private room

"Since high school. I was going through my 'I don't fit in' stage and I paid Veronica to look into it" she watched Natalie take a deep inhale

"My beautiful girl" she pushed Mac's hair behind her ear "You've always been way too smart" her eyes welled up "why didn't you tell me that you knew?" Mac shrugged her shoulders "I hate that you had to deal with this alone, when I found out about it I was a wreck and even in that I had your dad"

"Mum…"

"No. Darling. You need to know that giving you up was never a choice, that pain wasn't me longing for something else…" perhaps Natalie meant some one else "it was a pain in deciding whether we were making the right decision – whether we were depriving you of your birth right"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mac asked as a tear inadvertently ran down her face

"I never wanted you to question our love for you, I never wanted you to despise us for the decision that we ended up making on your behalf and we wanted to spare you the pain of what if's" she sat down on a wayward chair "We found out when you were four, way to young to make the decision on your own – Madison had had an accident on a scooter at kindergarten, you went there at the same time as her and I remember that day that everyone was talking about how an ambulance had come and how they had put the sirens on for you"

"I remember that" Mac smiled

"Well a week later we got a call – it was the hospital, Ryan had just been immunised so we thought that they were calling us in for him. Your dad and I were totally blindsided when it turned out that we were there because of you"

"Who made the decision?" Mac didn't know if the answers to these questions would help her in any way, but she craved this information

"It took about a month to get together with the Sinclair's, both sides needed time to process the information and we were all putting off the meeting. There was no discussion – it wasn't that we didn't want to know Madison and that the Sinclair's didn't want to know you, it was that we were all so deeply in love with the children that we had brought home with us – I don't know how it came about but the next thing we were suing. It seemed like a great idea at the time but I wondered if that brief media exposure would come back and bite us" Mac didn't want to point out that if it hadn't been for those articles the lead may have been harder to find

"These things have a way of coming out eventually"

"Your dad likes to pretend that it never happened. I wanted to tell you myself, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want anything to change"

"Mum, I've known for over a century and our family is stronger than ever" Mac grabbed Natalie's hand as she nodded at her – a smile on her face and a teary twinkle in her eye

"I adore you" Natalie said

"If dad likes to pretend it never happened how did you get him here?"

"We both have the utmost respect for the Sinclair's, regardless of how she turned out…" Natalie had heard exactly how Madison Sinclair had treated Mac over the years "they raised a baby girl that we couldn't and they gave us the opportunity to raise the beautiful girl that is before me today" she gave her daughter a thoughtful smile "Dick knows?" Mac nodded

"What about Ryan?" she added, to which Natalie shook her head

X-x-x-x-x-x

"Are you leaving?" Ellen was standing next to the door, saying goodbye to their guests as they left the wake when Dick and Mac made their exit. They had already watched Mac's parents say their goodbyes with a hug and a nod of acknowledgement.

"It's been a long day" Dick said filling in where Mac's words couldn't – today had revealed a lot and taken a lot of her energy "Have to get my girls home" he put a protective hand on the stomach that was now acting as a big 'I'm pregnant' sign hanging around her neck

"You're having a girl?"

"We don't know yet, Dick is just hoping that if he says it enough that it will happen" the truth was Dick's only experience with children was girls and the idea of having a little boy scared him shitless "Again I am so sorry for your loss"

"I'm sorry for yours" she said with a smile as Mac looked back at her perplexed "You can call me if you like…please" Ellen pleaded as Mac nodded her head

X-x-x-x-x-x

Dick slapped the photo down on the hard silver table, the other hands looked up at him as he gestured for him to look at it, Dick took a seat across from him – trying to push down the fears, nerves and anger that threatened to explode out his mouth

"Well this explains this impromptu visit" Richard Casablancas senior looked down at the ultrasound photo in his hands "My boy is breeding. Accident or on purpose? Do you need payoff advice?" Dick didn't answer, he didn't need to justify himself to his father "Why did you come?"

"I came to talk and for you to listen" this sentence was followed by a long pause, he could tell that his father was about to talk "Shut up" Dick gulped, it was going to take a certain amount of thinking and courage to get out exactly what he wanted to say out. His dad had always had this type of power over him, every time he worked up the courage to stand up against him or even question him, his dad would rebuff it – that's how he had ended up spending a whole summer with him before Richard Senior put on his orange jump suit. Now the orange jump suit was watching him – waiting for him to speak, clearly thrown at Dick's presence – he certainly didn't visit often " I want my kids to stand up at my funeral and tell stories about how much I annoyed them when I was alive but how they loved me anyway." The senior Casablancas was thrown but didn't question "I want to raise this child to know that is constantly and undeniably loved, that they can be who they want to be and I will love, respect and believe in them for it. I want them to know that they are my whole world and that they can come to me for anything and I will do everything in my power to fix it. And if I can't do all that or portray to them how much they mean to me then I'm going to fucking die trying. I'm going to teach them to take responsibility for their actions and I'm going to show my first born how important it is to cherish your younger siblings. I will not belittle or mock them. I'm going to be there. And one day I'm going to have to tell them about their uncle and the reasons why they will never know him – including the reasons I will constantly feel responsible for. Some people are going to say that my children are better off for not knowing him and I don't even know if I would even be in this same place today if Cass was still alive, but I'm going to tell them about the beautiful boy who rescued the bird, the boy who sought out approval, the boy who I watched cartoons with when I was little, the boy with the big eyes that watched me from the moment they opened, but most importantly the boy I loved. You fucked up dad, and I wont do that." He took a deep exhale, it was good to get it all off of his chest "Now I've got to go to a five year olds school concert" Dick stood up from the table to leave "Somewhere buried under a tonne of resentment and bitterness I do love you dad"

"Dick" he gulped "I'm sorry" Dick nodded

"Keep the photo"

X-x-x-x-x-x

Mac looked up from the text message he had sent to her, to Dick walking into the room and towards them – her smile grew larger as she watched him push past people to make it to where the group was sitting "Did I miss anything?" he asked as he took a seat between Keith and Mac

"Well if we are telling you truth, you missed a pretty inspirational song" Veronica slapped Keith's arm

"You okay?" he took her hand, kissed it and nodded

"Stop looking at me with those sympathy eyes" he laughed as the room's attention went back to the stage and the children piling on – Logan was sitting up the front with his video camera at the ready (he had had to get here incredibly early for that position too), Veronica eyes were practically popping out of her head as she waited for her daughter to come on stage as the scene began to take place

"Here comes my future Oscar winner" Keith whispered as Evelyn Echolls came onto the stage dressed in green, the alien ears on her headband jiggling away as she bounced on

"Intruder, intruder" the other aliens did a circle around this afternoons 'astronaut', Evie spotted her mother and smiled widely

"I'm Neil Armstrong. I'm from America and this is my first time here" the little boy yelled, making sure that the people in the back of the auditorium, he turned to Evelyn – this was clearly where she was supposed to say her line and shine but she was too busy waving at her family "I said, I'm Neil Armstrong, I'm from America and this is my first time here" somehow he had gotten louder, Veronica was trying her hardest not to laugh and to direct her daughter back into it

"Don't you want to welcome him?" A voice beckoned from the front row – clearly Logan's voice

"Oh" Evie let out a laugh "Welcome to da moooooooooon"

X-x-x-x-x-x

"Tell me something that no one else knows about you" Mac said as she climbed into bed next to him – this was a game that they had created on their first date, it usually dragged out the most random and insanely irrelevant stories that they brought out when they needed cheering up or entertainment – it was getting to the stage now where they had to dig very deep to find a story that the other person didn't know.

"Can you remember when we first found out you were pregnant and you made me go and get all those pregnancy tests?" she nodded as she placed herself down on the pillow that she just fluffed "I took one" she looked up at him "It came back positive"

"Wait are you pregnant? I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment" Mac laughed

"No, I'm not pregnant. Turns out I accidentally picked up one of yours – mine was negative and I was kind of sad" an unexpectedly loud laugh came out of her body as he pulled her over into the snuggle position "Tell me something that no one else knows about you" Dick kissed her forehead

"I was lying"

"Wait your not pregnant?" he could feel her smile on his shoulder blade, she playfully slapped his chest

"I'm not okay. My biological father is dead" he wasn't expecting this from her, it was two days post funeral and every time it was brought up in conversation she would shrug it off – he guessed that she had reached the point where she could no longer hide from it "And I'm pissed off. I never get to know him. And do you know what pisses me off more, Ellen pretending that we were all happy families – has she forgotten that she hasn't spoken to me since the day I showed up at her house?" her little hands were knotting into fists " I never got to know him, and they pretend that everything would've been fine if I had of just visited?" Dick could feel little specks of water falling onto his shoulder and rolling down his chest, he gripped her hand in his own "I don't need a family, I've got one, and I'm building one. But I would've liked the option"

To be continued