A/N: I actually have free time today! This hasn't happened in ages. So I get to write, and then you get updates. Win-win situation. This one is one I've been wanting to do for a while: the day Paul finds out about demigods. The longest yet, actually; it wouldn't end itself. Enjoy!

His bemused expression slowly slipped off his face like in a sitcom, leaving behind the visual representation of his utter disbelief and confusion, and, frankly, concern for their mental health.

Unbelievable

"I'm home," Paul called, tossing the keys on the overflowing table beside the door. Why the principal had decided to have a faculty meeting the day before Thanksgiving, Paul had no idea, but he was glad that it was over. As much as he loved teaching English, sitting through boring meetings where the Science and History departments always butted heads became unbelievably dull the three millionth time.

"In the kitchen," he heard Sally call. He walked in to find her pulling a sheet of piping hot blue cookies out of the oven, with Percy leaning on the counter looking sullen and uncomfortable. Paul got the feeling that they had just finished some kind of argument—which was strange, because the two rarely disagreed on anything. It'd be difficult to find a closer mother and son.

He kissed Sally (who, by the way, was now his fiancée) on the cheek and asked how her day had been. She smiled a little ruefully and said, "Actually, honey, Percy and I have something we want to talk to you about."

Paul's eyebrows pulled together and he cocked his head bit, like he always did when he was puzzled. "Alright. What about?" Sally gestured that Percy should begin while putting the cookies onto the cooling rack. In true teenager fashion, he sighed and turned towards his soon-to-be stepfather reluctantly.

"You might want to sit down, Paul," he started with a wry smile. Paul obeyed, shooting Sally an amused glance. She shrugged, as if to say, might as well. "Before you and my mom get married…well, we were thinking that you deserved to know the truth about—about my dad."

Oh. So that's what this was: the ex-slash-biological-father-conversation. He grimaced. This was going to be uncomfortable. He remained silent, but nodded to show that he was listening.

"You know that my mom and dad, uh, met, had me, and then my dad got lost at sea. And I'm guessing you've guessed that I wasn't exactly supposed to happen—in more ways than just that, actually, but I'll get to that later."

By this point, all three of their faces could rival tomatoes.

"But what you don't know, is that…" Percy looked at his mom, looking for approval to continue. She took a deep breath and nodded, pale-faced. This must be bad, Paul thought. Percy smirked slightly, probably anticipating his stepfather's reaction, and then sobered again. He looked at Paul straight in the eyes, and continued, "Is that my dad is actually the Greek god Poseidon."

There was a moment of shivering silence, in which Paul looked back and forth between the two faces, expecting to find some trace of joking or humor. They yielded nothing; both Sally's and Percy's eyes were locked on his face, anxiously taking in his reaction. His bemused expression slowly slipped off his face like in a sitcom, leaving behind the visual representation of his utter disbelief and confusion, and, frankly, concern for their mental health.

"Sally…?" he asked weakly. She gave him a small half smile and nodded, never taking her eyes off his face. He shook his head back and forth. "But… that's not… not possible. I mean, those are just myths. And even if they were real, they…"

He babbled on, still clinging on to the hope that one of them would crack and go, "April Fools!", until he finally realized how idiotic he sounded. He drifted into silence and waited for someone to explain.

"I know that this is a bit… a bit of a shock, Paul. Believe me. But it's true, all of it. And if you're going to be a part of this family, well, you need to know this," Sally reassured him. She spoke slowly and carefully, enunciating each word, as if she was talking to kindergartener, or someone who had just witnessed a horrible accident.

"So… if your father is really Poseidon," Paul said, somewhat skeptically, turning to face Percy, who remained carefully by the counter, "then you're… what, a demigod? Like Hercules, and Theseus and Perseus—oh! That's why you named him Perseus, isn't it? I wondered."

Sally nodded, smiling. "Perseus was the only hero who got a happy ending. The others all died—"

"Speaking of that," Percy interrupted, with an expression that was a strange hybrid of stress and a smirk, "don't you think we should tell him about the monsters?"

"Monsters. you mean… the creatures in the myths? Like, the Minotau—"

"NO!" Percy and Sally both yelled, leaping forward automatically to stop the name from leaving his mouth. Percy took that ballpoint pen out of his pocket, unconsciously, it seemed.

"What? It's not like they still exist. They all got killed, right? By heroes. Hercules killed that boar, and Cerberus, and…"

Percy was pacing restlessly around the small kitchen now. "Yes, they got killed-well, not Cerberus, he's still in the Underworld. But monsters can't die. They're sent down to Tartarus for a while—which is a real place, actually—but then they come back to life. Normally, that's what demigods do. Fight monsters. Now, of course, we've got bigger problems than that..." He walked over to the window, peering out into the street below. Paul sat in his chair, dumbfounded and still not quite believing them, while Sally stood behind him and rubbed his shoulders comfortingly.

Suddenly, Percy muttered something unintelligible—it almost sounded like he spoke another language. Before Paul could even think about that, the "son of Poseidon" turned to his mother and said, "There's kind of a problem down in the street that I need to take care of. Do you mind explaining the rest? Thanks."

Before Sally could respond, he dashed out of the room, pen in hand, and they heard the door slam shut. Sally and Paul sat in silence for a moment, and then he asked, "Sally… is this all real? Please tell me you're not kidding."

She sighed, giving him that sad, rueful half-smile again. "Yes. I wouldn't lie to you about something like this, Paul, believe me. Percy's father really is Poseidon, who really is the ancient Greek god of the sea, among other things. When Percy gets back I'll have him show you exactly what that means."

Paul shook his head for what seemed like the millionth time that day. Had he really been complaining about unpleasant high school teachers just this morning?

"Unbelievable."

Love it? Hate it? Review!