Summer watched how the smoke became darker and stretched wider and listened to the load sound from the fire detector. The oven couldn't even be seen anymore and hysterically trying to figure out what to do, Summer held her forefinger under the water tap. It hurt, just like her eyes hurt from the warmth and her lungs from the fumes.

It was a disaster and she was partly glad that she couldn't see how the kitchen looked like. She'd probably ruined everything. The crying had been going on for the last fifteen minutes but she'd been on the edge for the past hour. Summer had managed to destroy most of the food; burning it all, setting fire on the steak and forgetting about the recipe. Which resulted in a total chaos.

Wrapping a towel around her throbbing hand Summer hurried to the phone; she knew that the whole apartment would be damaged if she didn't do anything soon.

"Summer, how's it going?" Marissa joyfully said in the phone, having no idea of what was going on a few kilometres away.

Despite her crying Summer managed to explain the situation; how the dinner was ruined, the kitchen on fire and Seth coming home in an hour. The whole time it was quiet in the phone. "And I don't know what to do!" she finished, devastated. "Seth can't come home to this."

Marissa breathed and tried to take control of the situation. "Okay, Sum. Calm down. Now, is the fire quenched?"

"Yes. I think so."

"And the oven's turned off?"

Summer swallowed. "Yeah."

"Listen, I'll be right over. And I'll call Ryan to make sure that Seth won't be home for a while. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Coop."

"See you soon."

After putting the phone down Summer took a deep breath; help was on the way. She would fix this; Seth would not walk home to meet a kitchen looking like a big oven with the only thing left piles of ash.

She had planned on doing a nice dinner for him, making him relax after the accident and showing him how much he meant to her. She should have known though that she couldn't make anything on her own.

Fifteen minutes later Marissa barged into the apartment, finding Summer in the smoke filled kitchen. "Summer!"

"The good news is that the smoke is starting to fade. The bad news, dinner is ruined and the whole room is a mess. Oh, and the smell." Summer offered her friend a smile despite the panic welling up inside of her. It felt better not being alone with this mess, but only God knew how embarrassed she was.

Marissa flung her arms around Summer, hugging her tightly. "Sweetie, I'm so glad that you're okay." As they pulled apart Marissa eyed the room. "It looks really bad in here."

The brunette bit her lip. "Yeah. Want to help me figure out what to do?"

Marissa gave her a long hug, again, as to try and make things look better. "I made sure that Seth's gonna be away for a while. We'll clean this up."

"Where do we start?" Summer sighed.

vvvvvvvvv

An hour later the two girls sunk down into two kitchen chairs, exhausted from all the cleaning. They sat there silent for a few minutes. "Are you still up for Wednesday, Sum? I mean, after everything."

Summer tilted her head to look at the other person sitting next to her; she seemed nervous. "Of course, Coop. I won't let you go alone."

Marissa forced a smile and shrugged. "Thanks. It's probably nothing but still,"

"We'll find out whatever it is Wednesday. It'll be okay." Placing a hand on top of her friend's, Summer felt a little better. Maybe everything would work out.

Suddenly though, the front door opened and immediately caused Summer to tense up. Seth was home, already. Things would not be okay now.

He walked through the foyer without either of them being able to stop him; he seemed to be very curious of what was going on. "Hey, guys." He smiled and walked in the direction of Summer when a frown appeared on his forehead. "What's that smell?" There was no way that anyone would have made up a good explanation to that; the smell was too exposing.

Summer felt as if she'd die right there. Fall to the floor and prevent to ever look into his eyes again. The panic welled in her and she could portray how her eyes had filled with tears. "Um,"

"Has there been a fire or something," Seth laughed without noticing Summer's terrified face and walked straight to the kitchen. Marissa first tried to stop him but with the realisation that it was his home and his kitchen she lowered her hand and sunk down in an arm chair. Summer quickly made an exit, fleeing away from him and the huge embarrassment.

"She was making dinner for you, Seth." Marissa sadly said as Seth came back from the kitchen, a shocked expression on his face.

"Oh," Seth understood. He stood there for a moment, probably letting it all sink in. "Will you excuse me?"

The blonde nodded. "Sure, I'll continue with the cleaning." He gave her a thankful look and left the room, in search for Summer who'd run in the direction of the bedroom.

"Summer?" Seth cursed to himself as he found the locked master bathroom door. Placing his ear against the brown smooth surface, again checking the handle, Seth heard nothing. Silence was all that met his ear. Sighing he walked back to the bed and sat down, hoping for the best; that she would open the door.

He still had no idea of exactly what had happened; he hadn't waited for Marissa to explain. But he could pretty much put two and two together; the unexpected call from Marissa Cooper saying that he couldn't come home for a while and Summer's promise to cook for him was all pretty convincing. He'd actually expected to come home to a loving welcome with dinner set for two. But now he understood that all Marissa had wanted was to buy some time; some time for Summer to calm down and them to clean up. Which probably had been more difficult than they'd thought. How else could the kitchen look like it did?

She better come out from there soon.

As five minutes passed, with no sound, Seth started to freak out. What was she doing in there? Maybe this whole giving her space and letting her come to him didn't work that well. Maybe he should go check, just to see that she was alright. He wasn't mad or anything, about the kitchen. Was she afraid that he'd be mad? He couldn't, Seth could never be mad at Summer. He didn't care about the kitchen. You could always redecorate it. He was happy and relieved that Summer wasn't hurt, because you could not replace her.

Please come out. Come out and sit next to me, let me tell you that it's alright.

His foot shook impatiently, his fingers getting all sweaty. She shouldn't be scared of him, or hide. Not that he knew that she was, maybe she was taking a shower or something. Her hair probably smelled like smoke. But no, there was no sound, no shower. And she couldn't be doing anything else in there but hide. Why did he worry so much about her? All the time. She was probably fine.

Oh, fuck it.

Seth carefully knocked. She didn't open, nor tell him to walk away. There was just nothing. The same silence and the same pain in his stomach. "Summer?" he swallowed, silently begging for her to reply. "Please open the door, Sum."

After a few seconds, a click was heard, and Seth opened the door. Summer stood by the sink, looking at the floor. No traces of tears were seen and no evidence of her having done anything else but stood just like she stood now by the sink. Her silence and distant eyes said enough though; she was not alright.

Let me hold you and make you okay. Let me know that you'll be fine.

There were no words uttered. Seth walked closer to her and pulled her limb body into his chest, pushing her head under his chin and forcing her arms to go around him. She was like an unconscious body though, just falling against him, her hair covering her face. Seth stroked it away with his healthy hand and if he could, he would have lifted her up into his arms. His arm was broken, but he desperately wished that it wasn't.

He pulled her with him out of the bathroom, into their bedroom where he sat them down on the bed. Summer sat up, close to him, and pulled her thick hair behind her ears. Then she sighed and placed her hands in her lap.

"Let me in," he said almost in a whisper.

And that was, apparently, all it took for Summer to break. First, her shoulders began to tremble and her hands went to cover her face. Then she breathed out a muffled sob in her tiny hands, fallowed by another. "I hate it," she cried and fell backwards onto the bed. She rolled around to her stomach and buried her head in the comforter.

"What do you hate?"

Her voice was so low that he had to concentrate to hear what she said and when she said it he almost wished that he hadn't heard. "Me." That word caused tears to form in his eyes, almost spilling over. He wanted to take it away, and make her the happiest person on this earth. God knew that she deserved it.

She abruptly sat up, her face red and glossy from the crying. "I hate everything!" This time her voice was loud, screaming and desperate. "I fucking hate myself! How come I can't be happy? How come every time I tend to think I'm actually happy something happens?"

Seth watched her, devastated, as she paused to let the hiccups out. She cried heavier than he'd ever seen her cry before. And it was awful.

"I can't-" she sobbed, "I can't do this anymore, Seth."

Horror filled Seth's face as she finished. She could not mean what he thought she was. She couldn't. He shook his head and felt how a tear rolled down his cheek. "Don't talk like that."

Sniffling and wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt, Summer continued to sob. "I'm sorry, Seth. But it's too hard. I'm not strong enough for life. It's slowly killing me."

"You don't know what you're saying. I love you! You can't talk like this, Summer."

"Maybe you weren't supposed to stop me that night. It would have been better for both of us if I'd ended it."

"Stop! Summer, I love you." Seth was crying now, huge sobs racking his body.

In a look of desperation Summer pulled a hand through her hair. "I hate that I hurt you. I always hurt you. But I don't want to. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't want you to cry."

"Then stop saying that you want to die. Say that you want to live and be with me!"

"I do! I want to but I can't. I want to so bad."

"So stop thinking like that, Summer."

"I can't! Please, I can't." She started to get up, hysterically crying and almost screaming out in frustration. Seth pulled her down though, grabbing her waist and forcing her to lie down next to him. He cried into her hair, tightly holding her against him and hugging her shaking body. "Cohen," she breathed out and gripped his shirt, wanting him to hold her closer than anyone possibly could. She wanted him to take it all away with his love, to let her inner demons die out of love.

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