A tad late, but as promised, a supa-long-chapta!
So, Bhikkhuni Dhammananda, is a Thai Buddhist nun, who has a PhD, and is head of the only temple in Sri Lanka that has fully ordained nuns. She's a real lady, and she's kick ass, and I'm only borrowing her likeness. She shall fall to no ill in my story, I hold her in the highest regard.
I've been painfully hooked on some K-Dramas (Right now I'm binging Beating Again), but it's so hard. I'm learning Japanese, not Korean, so I have to watch it with the subs. In most Japanese shows, I can throw the subs on, and I can get the gist of what's happening by their facial expressions, the tone of their voice, and obviously by some of the words which I'm learning/recognizing. Korean is SO different, so much harder. Their sentence structure is crazy, and at least in the shows (I'm not too read up in Korean culture), they have random bursts of emotion (and yelling) in their dialogue. So I can not watch and type, or do anything else! I demands my total focus, terrible for writing, or pretty much anything else.
Anywho, my rant is over. Enjoy this! I will review in a few days, I apologize ahead of time for any mistakes. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you can't any outstanding ones.
Thank you for reading.
Chapter Twenty-One
The stone below her was cool and acrid smelling. The roughness felt pleasant against her cheek but she couldn't lay there much longer.
She spent her days rotating between dozing in a meadow of sweet grass, shielded from the sun, but soaking in the warmth; or sleeping in a mostly covered ruin on the temple grounds at night. She spent some time with the No-Face, sitting on the brick path, studying the temple, everyday. She couldn't say how long she had been there for.
She never ran into any person, and her body was finally calming down. It didn't jump at every noise, her heart didn't kick start at every shadow.
Her minor cuts and scrapes had mostly healed, her bruises had faded to yellow and the stiffness left her bones.
She felt like she was half asleep all the time, as if her mind had been so weary and now it finally had time to rest.
Her arm, however, was another story.
She lost more and more use of it each day.
It felt like is was turning to stone, it grew heavier and was locked into a bent position. At first, she had tried to work it out, a little bit each day, bending and extending it slowly. The pain became so severe she honestly contemplated removing it but had no means, and it was her arm for goodness sake!
It ached all the way into her shoulder, and she found herself constantly trying to straighten her back out, finding herself slouching under the weight of the wound.
It still seeped blood and other fluids, was charred in the worst parts. She had gone through nearly all of the vial of pain reliever, she would need to find away to ease the pain some other way.
She sat idly next to the No-Face, popping some wild berries into her mouth one by one, chewing thoughtfully.
"How long do you suppose we've been here?" She commented. The No-Face didn't answer, just stood off to the side.
He had spent the first few days she could recall motioning onward, but now, he seemed tired as well. His body, too, was more hunched, and his arms dragged a bit lower.
She was mildly concerned for him, but couldn't find it in her to do anything about it. She had so much on her plate as it was.
"I guess is doesn't really matter, where else are we gonna go?" She sighed, leaning back on to her good arm.
"Where do we go from here?" She closed her eyes, not knowing if she wanted Haku to be there. She was just a burden to him, after all he had done for her, she just kept demanding more.
And she had walked right back into the den of the Naga, willingly! What had she been thinking?! She had basically spit in Haku's face, granted, she hadn't known.
At least the serpent had given her some answer, the first straight answers she'd heard in a very long time, perhaps ever.
And the serpent hadn't harmed her any, frightened her, and tired her, but it had been true to it's word, it had let her go.
Painfully slow, she got to her feet.
It was going to get dark soon.
She needed to retreat to the safety of the temple. She had seen little eyes in the grasses once the sun set, and she didn't want to find out if they meant her harm or not.
"Good night, No-Face." The demon waved her off, fading into the background.
The grass tickled her legs as she carefully followed the path she had forged, scrapping her feet on the first stone step.
She didn't want to drag in any more dirt than she had to.
She was only mildly surprised to look up and see the orange robed figure.
"Bhikkhuni Dhammananda." She said, bowing lightly. They returned the welcome.
"I sensed you were still here. Many say they have seen you in the gardens, you've become quite the commodity." Suzume watched them carefully as they motioned her through the doors of the dilapidated temple.
"You have not seen them, I am not surprised. These planes do not often cross anymore, although we were once quite close."
They walked at a sedate pace through the main temple room.
The person stopped halfway, waving their hand out as if displaying something, drawing her eye to the large statue at the far end.
Suzume blinked slowly, trying to adjust her vision.
It was like she had opened her eyes underwater; everything was a bit distorted, and shimmery. She rubbed her eyes.
A dozen orange robed figures were kneeling before the statue, their heads ducked down, their up-turned hands neatly placed on their knees.
"Who are they?" She whispered, scared her voice would startle them out of whatever peace they were in.
"Nuns; humans." The short answer came.
She crumpled over, crying out in pain, from both a deep part within and her damaged arm.
"What? A human?"
"A human! You're the one everyone's looking for!"
"You smell like a human!"
"This is no place for a human. It's a bathhouse, for the spirits..."
"We don't take humans..."
It took her some time before she could catch her breath. Images fluttered past her eyes, faces she couldn't put names to, voices she had heard before but could not recall where.
Her stomach rolled violently.
"I'm human...I think..." She managed to say, looking up cautiously. The rows of nuns were gone, but the one who spoke with her still by her side.
They gave her a small smile, bowing their head again.
"There are some of us who are closer to our spirits than our flesh. I imagine that is why you linger, but one can not know for sure." Suzume didn't know what to say. Was she born on their plane, or the one this person had just shown her.
If she faded, did she go to another plane?
Is that what happened to her? She faded and appeared on this plane? She only had memories of the past nine years, of Kōsen finding her when she was ten.
"The longer you spend here, the more integrated you shall become with my plane, tread wisely. I must go now, this is tiring on my spirit to be here." With another shallow bow, the person, faded from her view.
She was alone, again.
In the dark of the night, she would wake, with hours before the sun would rise, having dreamed of something disturbing.
It changed from one night to the next, never the same dream.
Kate burned alive.
Emi slain in her blankets.
Kōsen run through by multiple blades.
Tuskete cut down without care.
She would wake suddenly, tears already having taken over her face, her arm flaring and her heart aching fiercely.
What she wouldn't give to know their fate.
Even if they were truly gone, she was sure she'd rather know.
This not knowing was eating alive.
She took to sweeping the temple with a makeshift broom of sturdy grass stalks.
The rooms didn't need sweeping, but it gave her good arm something to do, and to keep her mind off her terrible thoughts, she counted each pass of the bristled end.
By the time the sun was rising, she felt confident enough to head out, checking first to see if No-Face was still there, he always way, then forging for something to eat.
The temple grounds had plenty to offer, and a tiny stream, that no doubt led back to the Naga's waters, was ample enough to soak her clothes in.
She couldn't really scrub them, what with her arm being of no use, but she managed.
She would drape the clothing over one leg, pin it down with the other, and use her good hand (and a good smooth rock) to beat out most of the dirt, soot, sweat and blood.
Then they would be laid out in the sun to dry.
Not a perfect system, but it was better than anything else she had.
And, it gave her a bit of a thrill to lounge about in the nude.
There wasn't anyone around (at least, she hadn't been aware anyone could see her at the time), the sun felt good on her skin, and who would look twice at her scrawny body.
The bottoms of her feet were hardening, and seemed permanently stained a mix of green and brown.
Her hair was a lost cause.
She wish she had the forethought to grab a comb before she left.
"You weren't exactly thinking about hoofing it in the wild, with a damaged arm, at the time. Besides, you had other things on your mind, forgive yourself." She sighed to herself, wiping her mouth on her shoulder.
She thought twice about stripping down now that she knew that someone on another plane might see her, but she decided she didn't care.
They couldn't touch, or talk to her. What did she care?
The day she used the last of the pain reliever wasn't as disheartening as she thought it would be. Her pain was bearable. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
By the time the sun had sunk behind the horizon, she was going to kill herself; if only she could think enough to get up, and find some way to off herself.
The pain was so acute.
It was burning, a slow drilling of molten in her bone.
Her mind felt so sharp, the night seemed so bright. The colors which had seemed to dull and pastel every other night were bright and crisp.
The air was filled with noises she had never realized were there.
She lay on the floor in the center of the main temple room, her body shivering and quaking as it fought with itsef.
Her skin was soaked in sweat, her hair pasted to her face, her teeth gritted.
She couldn't do anything but try and breathe through the pain. She didn't think it was infected, she had seen festering wounds in some of the workers, ones who hadn't wanted to have more time added to their contracts for needing medical attention.
Most survived, but it took much longer for them to heal, and they lived many days in immense pain.
Her eyes clenched closed as another wave wracked her body, her muscles quivering.
She could smell them when they arrived.
They smelled earthy, with the poignant stench of dried sweat. She couldn't place what exactly their smell was, or if it was pleasant at all, but she could definitely smell it.
There was the nun who visited her from time to time, sitting above her head. Then, there were two more, on either side of her, their eyes closed, heads tipped low.
Their legs were crossed in what looked to be a painful manner, and their hands were relaxed on their knees.
They were chanting something, low and in a monotone voice.
She couldn't make out any words that were familiar.
There was no strength to spare speaking.
Whether she passed in and out of consciousness was debatable. Their figured would waver, flicker. There one moment, gone the next, only to reappear.
Their chanting never ceased.
It was spinning circles in her head. It gave her something to focus on, to attempt to ignore the pain. She tried to mimic the words they spoke, trying to move her mouth in time.
Anything to make it through the night.
This went on, and on.
At one point, she was convinced she felt flecks of rainwater speckle her face, the rush of wind with the feel of a storm. But when her eyes next opened, there was just sunshine peaking through the window openings.
She couldn't say if she'd been there for hours, or days, or months.
Her eyes would open, she'd be alone with the chanting words, and she would be lulled back into sleep.
Her eyes would open, there would be two, three, sometimes six nuns sitting around her droning on. Some times they held beads, herbs or wooden bowls.
Not once did they ever touch her.
At some point, she realized her shaking had lessened, her breath came a bit easier, and her jaw wasn't as tightly clenched.
Her eye sight was much more steady.
She watched Bhikkhuni Dhammananda as they leaned over her head with their eyes closed, their lips moving quickly and silently.
The orange of their robes was more vibrant than she could remember.
She could see each of the fibers woven into the fabric.
"How long have I been out?" She croaked, licking her lips. Sweat still spilled down her face, pooling on her upper lip.
Her stomach felt like it was in knots.
"A long time. Your body, it has been working hard to function without the sedative you were giving it."
She frowned, leaning up onto her good arm.
Her entire body felt weak.
"Sedative?" The word even sounded weird coming from her mouth.
She needed air.
She struggled to her feet, conscious of her damp clothes. Her skin felt grimy.
How long had she laid in this one spot?
The sun was out.
It was almost too strong for her cleared eyes, she had to shield her face while she adjusted.
The warmth wasn't as comforting as she had expected it to be, it nearly felt stifling, like a heavy blanket.
She stepped back into the shade of the temple, and was bewildered to see that the brick path had been torn up.
She felt her heart well into her throat.
There were huge gouges in the ground, the surrounding vegetation was ripped from its roots, or flattened.
"What happened here?" She gasped, taking some steps towards the ruined mess.
Bhikkhuni Dhammananda hummed.
"We had a visitor, while you were ill. It could not enter, and felt the repercussions of trying."
Before she could give explanation as to her actions, she was dashing through the grasses on shaky legs, nearly rolling her ankle.
"Was it the Naga?" She peered at the confused face of the nun, elaborating. "A massive black snake like creature." They shook their head. She turned back to the destroyed path.
Where was the No-Face?
"No. A massive creature indeed, but not quite a snake. Rather fox like, maybe a cat. I have never seen the likes of it before."
Suzume knelt down, careful not to step over the edge of the undisturbed grass.
The damage was all past this line, this must be where the barrier was drawn.
Tiny translucent petals decorated the ground, looking like ice.
She carefully picked one up, sliding her fingers over it, pressing it to her cheek.
It felt as cold as ice.
"No, not a fox, or cat. A dragon." She said aloud, standing to face the nun. She was treated to a weary look.
"No friend of yours I assume." Was the quip.
Suzume shook her head.
"I don't know who he is to me. Why couldn't he enter?" She took a few steps back towards the temple before remembering the No-Face.
She called out a few times for him, but he never appeared.
Haku must have taken him back.
"Only good things can enter." Came the automatic reply from the person.
Suzume wanted to snap that Haku was good.
But she didn't know that.
He had been good to her, so far.
Who was to say he was a good person though?
She retreated back to the temple, returning to the shade.
Bhikkhuni Dhammananda continued to stare out at the ruined path.
"I have left something in the temple for you. Use it to temper the pain your wounds give you, it is the bark from a willow tree. Many line the creek. It will help." Suzume nodded, still holding the scale, no bigger than her thumb, to her cheek.
"I must go. My people and I are tired, you are well enough to be without us."
Before Suzume could thank them, they were gone, blinking out of this plane.
She continued to stare out at the damage, not sure what it all meant.
Haku had been here, had been unable to enter the temple grounds, because only the good could enter.
Was he bad?
Was he bad like the No-Face?
Or was he bad like the Naga?
Nothing was black and white anymore.
She sighed, slumping to the ground, tapping her head against the stone pillar next to her.
She just watched the day pass, not really knowing what to do.
What she didn't expect, as the sun sunk, was for the temperature to drop as well.
It was crisp, and sent a shiver down her spine.
The sun hadn't even fall behind the horizon yet, and already the air was chilled.
"How long was I out for?"
She didn't see the nuns again for a long time.
Her days passed slowly.
It was still warm during peak sunlight hours, but it was getting cooler and cooler.
As repayment for allowing her to stay for so long, and for caring for her, in their own way, she started to rebuild the road.
The first day, she tired out just moving a few of the bricks.
Little by little, each day, she did just a bit more; until finally she worked a whole day without much huffing and puffing.
Her wounded are was wrapped tightly to her body to prevent as little movement as possible, and she chewed the nasty willow bark throughout the day to take the edge off.
After what had to be a two or three weeks, she rested her hand on her hip, feeling such happiness at finally being done.
A further inspection showed her lines were horribly skewed and uneven.
With a frown and huff, she stormed to the creek to wash up.
Tomorrow was another day.
"Why couldn't he enter? He's good, I'm sure of it." She asked. The nun bowed their head, walking alongside her through the meadow.
"We can not be all good; there is evil everywhere and we must be the ones who defend our persons against it. Some times, we may do what we think is well but in the larger picture, it is for evil. Or we may do evil for the good."
Suzume rubbed her fingers across some wildflowers as they passed.
"So how can we avoid evil if sometimes we must do it to be good?" This was just confusing.
"We must learn to be at peace with ourselves and others; evil will always happen but we can cleanse our spirits."
Suzume thought this over, keeping silent for a long time. They had turned back toward the temple by the time she spoke again.
"So he can be good, and evil, and still can't enter? What about me? Why could I enter?" She questioned. Bhikkhuni Dhammananda paused, turning to her.
"Your soul, it is not whole. But the piece you carry, it is pure. It does not have the taint of the world. You carry the soul of a child within you."
A soul of a child?!
She was mostly grown! Sure, maybe she could have some more meat on her bones, she'd been living on wild roots and berries for some weeks for goodness sake!
She shook her head, brushing their words off as crazy.
"But that still doesn't answer why he couldn't enter..." She insisted, staring them in the face.
They met her gaze, blinking slowly, then turning away to ascend the short steps.
"Perhaps he is not at peace with himself yet. I can not say."
Suzume was left standing in the grass, alone.
She sat up onto her knees, the grass almost taller than her. She was just able to peer through, listening for the noise she thought she heard.
Footsteps.
She kept low, trying to find the maker of the noise.
She stamped down the rising fear, and hope, that it would be Haku.
Or Kōsen.
But it was neither of them.
She just about looked right past him. He wore green, pale and simple, and he nearly blended in with the vegetation.
And he was big.
Literally, physically. He was all muscle.
His skin was a smooth dark cinnamon color, what she could see of it anyway. He was modestly covered, with a satchel strung over his shoulder.
He walked along the brick road, staring down, calmly studying the path. She watched as he stopped, looking the path up and down, then laughing.
She blushed, feeling the shame of her imperfect work on the path.
She had tried her hardest damn it!
With only one working arm at that!
He waltzed slowly over the barrier, making quick work of the short steps.
His eyes swept over the field, taking in every detail.
She sunk down when she felt his eyes on her, sure that he had seen her. He continued on into the temple.
She crawled forward until she could peer into one of the window openings, watching as Bhikkhuni Dhammananda appeared, bowing low to the man.
He returned a short bow, and they spoke quietly.
She ducked down quickly when his gaze shot to her.
She bit her lip, retreating.
She watched the entrance of the temple for a while, debating whether or not to confront the man.
She decided to let him be, to watch him.
Maybe he would leave soon.
"Besides, he entered the temple, so he's good... right?" She was still all mixed up about this good versus evil thing.
On one hand, if you didn't think too hard about it, it made complete sense. On the other hand, it was crazy confusing.
She shuffled off to one of the surrounding ruined sites to sleep for the night. There was no way she was going in that temple with him, she'd had enough of placing herself in dumb situations for a lifetime.
Two days. It had only been two days since the stranger appeared.
In that time, he had ripped up all of her hard work, and was halfway done relaying the bricks in perfectly neat rows.
She wanted to throw rocks at him while he worked.
She stayed hidden in the taller grasses, just watching from afar, admiring a bit if she was being honest with herself.
"No more strolling about nude though." She commented to herself.
For what seemed like the dozenth time, she ducked her head as he looked up.
There was no way he could have heard her. She was how far away!
Even Kōsen couldn't have heard her from such a distance!
She looked back over to see she had lost him. Whipping around, trying to find his form, she spotted him standing in some shade, shirt off, wiping his face with the garment.
She only partially tried not to stare.
It looked like he had scars marring his back and sides, darker than his skin tone, wide marks tapering to thin points.
A whip maybe? It must have been one huge whip!
She rolled her eyes.
"What are you thinking, you dummy." She growled to herself, rubbing her hand across her face.
She screamed, jumping back, stumbling on to her back end, and some how launching back up enough to scamper a few feet away.
He was sitting within arms reach of her!
"How did you move so fast!?" She screeched, holding her hand over her heart, thinking of the nun's chanting to breathe through the pain of her arm.
She flattened herself down into the dirt, using the grass as coverage as she looked for the best route away from him.
She watched him yawn, frowning at his blase behavior.
He sat straight backed, legs crossed under him, with his chin dropped into one palm.
Despite his relaxed stance, his amber eyes watched her intently, pining her to where she lay hidden.
She studied him, not sure if he could actually see her, or if he just knew she was in a general area.
Dismayed, she realized the markings on his body were not scars, no, far from it.
"You can come out now. I'm not gonna harm you." His drawl was low and gravelly, like he'd swallowed a mouthful of rocks.
With a hard swallow, and a deep breath, she stood.
He returned the gesture, slowly rising to his feet in one fluid motion.
She squared her shoulders best she could, glaring strongly at him.
She would show him she wasn't to be messed with!
He merely raised any eyebrow at her hostile look.
If she had learned one thing from working under Kōsen, she had learned that first impressions counted with spirits. That's how they remembered you, when they decided to trust you or not, respect you or not.
He had a face full of... fur...
She couldn't really give it another name, It grew down his neck, and flared out along his jawline. He had a very strong, masculine face, with bushy brows and a wide straight nose.
Her gaze traveled to his torso, marveling at what she first thought were scars.
Stripes.
Her gaze snapped back to his amused eyes, watching as he reached a hand out to her.
She didn't flinch away, although she desperately wanted to.
His pointer finger grazed her jaw, applying just enough pressure to turn her head to the right.
She knew the age old Naga bite would be visible, as well as the searing burn that crept up toward her shoulder.
The rest of her damaged arm was tucked neatly against her body, hidden away by the cloth used to bind it to her body.
"Looks like sum'un put ta'beat down on you." He grumbled, his strong gaze traveling down her neck and arm.
Without really thinking, just acting on a bit of flared instinct that complained he was too close, she tried to damage that which was closest.
Her teeth latched onto his finger.
She instantly knew she'd made a mistake when his wild eyes dilated sized her up.
So Wednesday update? I'm thinking so, give me a few days off. K-Dramas callin' my name! Thank you for reading! I hope you are all enjoying it so far! Please review!