I don't own Twilight or any of the characters.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed; especially my anonymous reviewers. I can't reply to your reviews so this is my thank you for you guys.

Happy Holidays!

J.

Chapter 21. Control.

I ran as fast as I could to get back to Bella. I had just drained two deer and felt very full. I doubted I could fit more fluids in my body. I wasn't even really thirsty. I had only gone out to hunt to relieve some of the excessive tension I felt. Bella had looked especially beautiful tonight and my non-existent hormones had gone crazy. Her legs were long and creamy; just waiting to be touched. The dress showed the very tops of her breasts and it was all I could do not to lean down and kiss the exposed skin. I never had as much problems with self control as tonight. And I just about lost it when she straddled me in the car. These feelings were completely new to me and I was not sure how to deal with them. I would have to talk to Carlisle soon. Oh, what a lovely conversation that would be.

I heard Bella walk into her room just as I scaled the house and leaped up towards the window. My breath hitched as I saw her standing in the door way. Bella was wearing those ridiculously short shorts again; exposing her slim legs. Her shirt however looked like it would fit me.

Bella hadn't noticed me standing in the dark shadows of her room. She crawled into the bed and under the covers. She sighed and looked towards the window. I took this as my cue to make my presence known. Bella gasped loudly as I slipped under the covers at top speed; seeming to appear out of nowhere.

"Good Lord, Edward;" she breathed. "You really have to stop doing that." I chuckled at her flustered expression and wrapped my arms around her. Her bare legs tangled with mine and she pressed her bare feet against my icy leg. I suppressed a shiver. She buried her face in my chest and inhaled deeply. "You were gone for a long time." She stated.

I sighed. "I had to hunt."

"But you went a few days ago." She sounded puzzled.

"Yes, but I had to hunt again. I was too tempted." My voice was probably a tad curt.

"I thought resisting my blood was not much a problem for you." She pulled back slightly to look at my face. I doubted she could see much in the darkness.

"I was not trying to resist your blood." I mumbled into her hair. I would be blushing now, if such a thing were possible.

"Oh." Bella however, did blush. Her cheeks turned bright red and she ducked her head to hide her face. She knew I had no problem seeing in the dark.

A sort of awkward silence fell.

"It's just not easy for me to get used to." I tried to explain. I wanted to know what she was thinking so badly. "I have never been physically attracted to anyone before and it is overwhelming me a bit."Bella surprised me by giggling. I looked down at her but she was still hiding against my chest. "Bella?"

"Good to know I'm not alone that department." She said; still not looking at me.

"So you're not angry at me?"

"For finding me attractive? Uhm… no." She giggled again. I had no idea what was so funny.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

She finally pulled back and looked at me. Her face was still bright red but she didn't seem embarrassed. "I'm not laughing at you." She said softly. I raised my eyebrows but she didn't notice. "I just find the idea of a flustered Edward amusing. Were you very… tempted?" Okay, now I was truly mortified. I was my turn to hide my face. I ducked down and wished to disappear in her hair. "Edward?" I merely groaned. Could this get any worse? "Please don't be embarrassed." Too late, love. "It's completely normal and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." This would have made me feel better, had she not been holding back laughter.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

She nodded vigorously. I groaned again.

"Edward, seriously, I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this." She said. "I get that this is new for you, and it is for me too. But please don't feel bad about finding me attractive." She paused briefly. "I find you quite tempting as well." She nudged me with her shoulder. I wanted to blush again. "Edwa-aard." She whined when I still didn't move. "Don't make me tickle you." She threatened.

"Vampires aren't ticklish." I stated. "And I am sorry if I overreacted a bit. It's just that I was raised in a very different time. When I was young, it was simply not done to think about a lady in a certain way, and definitely not to… ogle."

"But you're aloud to ogle, Edward. You're my boyfriend; it's basically in your job description to find me attractive." Bella said.

"Alright then. But I would like to state for the record that my thoughts about you aren't nearly as inappropriate as some of the boys at school." I wouldn't want her to think my brain lived in the gutter.

"I know, Edward. You are nothing if not a gentleman." She kissed my neck and held me tighter. Her kisses got more urgent and traveled up my jaw until she reached my lips. I kissed her back hungrily and tangled my hand in her hair. The other hand traveled under the hem of her over-sized shirt. I caressed the soft skin of her back and I deepened the kiss. Her tongue massaged mine and she hitched her leg over my hip. Bella moaned as my hand traveled higher. Her chest was pressed against mine and the heat was marvelous. Eventually, the need for oxygen forced her to pull back.

Bella snugled closer and tucked her head under my chin. She fell asleep instantly.

§§§-LSS-§§§

I got home around dawn. The entire family was sitting together in the living room, watching a movie. I entered and sat down on the couch next to Esme. Emmett paused the movie and turned to look at me. He was singing some horrid pop song to hide his thoughts.

"Did you keep it PG at Bella's house?" Emmett grinned.

"Yes." I said cautiously.

"Emmett, put the movie back on." Rosalie demanded.

"Cause, Jazz told me that you had some pretty lusty feelings." Emmett continued as if Rose hadn't spoken. I shot Jasper a glare and some hateful feelings. He winced.

"Emmett." Esme warned.

"And then Alice told me you guys got frisky in the car…" He trailed off suggestively.

"We are not having this conversation." I got up from the couch and walked up to my room. Emmett's laughter shook the house. Rose put the movie back on and mentally grumbled about her immature husband.

I grabbed the book I had been reading and sprawled out on the bed. Yes, I had a bed now. Esme had insisted that my room needed a bed. She had repainted the walls in a deep red. Combined with the black wrought iron bed and black furniture, it gave the room a romantic feel. I had no doubt she did this on purpose. I started reading quickly lost myself in the fictional world.

Around eight o'clock, Carlisle knocked on my door. I was so caught up in my reading that I hadn't heard him come up.

Can we talk? He asked.

I memorized the page and put my book down. I got up and opened the door.

I only just noticed that everyone but Carlisle had left.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked. He was hiding his thoughts very carefully.

Is what Emmett said true?

"I don't think I know exactly what you mean. Perhaps you should stop shielding your thoughts so I could just pick it out of your head." I smirked and sat back on the bed.

Carlisle chuckled and nodded. He rarely spoke out loud when it was just the two of us; a habit he picked up before the others had joined us.

I wanted to talk to you about your physical relationship with Bella. I gathered as much. I don't know how far you've gone but I wanted to make sure you are in control of your bloodlust.

"I am in control." I was not entire comfortable discussing this. "This is just very new for me and it takes some getting used to."

Have you spoken to Bella about this?

"Yes; she understood," and made fun of me.

I see. Well, I would advise you to be very careful. This is not something to be taken lightly. Such strong emotions can alter us permanently, as you know. And Bella is very fragile and breakable. He was thinking of all the ways I could hurt her if we had sex.

"I know, but we aren't any where near that stage." I interrupted him. "And I don't know if it would be possible at all. I don't want to risk hurting her."

He nodded. May I ask how you dealt with these feelings?

"I went hunting. It helped."

He nodded again. "If there is ever something you need to talk about, just let me know." He said. I nodded and he walked out of my room and to his own to get ready for work.

§§§-LSS-§§§

I knocked on Bella's door that night. It was seven o'clock and Charlie had just gotten home from Billy Black's house. Billy was having a hard time after Jacob's death and Charlie wanted to be there for his friend, even if it made him slightly uncomfortable.

Bella had asked to go visit her mother with me and after some arguing, he grudgingly agreed. Alice has shown me the whole exchange like a TV.

Bella opened the door and threw herself in my arms. I chuckled at her enthusiasm and gently lifted her off the floor to kiss her. After we finally broke apart, Bella ushered me in and closed the door.

"Charlie agreed to let me go to Jacksonville." She said as we entered the kitchen. Charlie was upstairs in the shower.

"I know; Alice told me, and she booked the tickest." I pulled her close to me again and kissed her lips. Bella moaned and wrapped her arms around my neck. Her fingers tangled in my hair; I was glad she didn't have to wear that cast anymore. I heard Charlie descend the stairs and pulled back quickly. Bella scowled and I mouthed, "Charlie." She nodded and went to work on dinner.

Charlie entered the kitchen and mumbled a halfhearted greeting.

"Are you staying for dinner?" He asked after a while.

"No, Esme wants me home for dinner." I said. Charlie nodded but said nothing more. He was contemplating how to make sure I kept my hands to myself on our trip to Florida. But apparently, Bella had chewed him out for not trusting me and for being rude to me. He knew better than to bring up the subject when Bella was in the room. So, he retreated into the living room and vowed to speak to me later.

Bella and I kept up some easy conversation as she worked. I volunteered to help and chopped some raw vegetables. The smell was sickening. After she put the concoction in the oven, she plopped herself down in my lap and relaxed.

"Is Charlie very mad?" She asked.

"No, but he's worried. He knows I'm not quite right and he's suspicious." I sighed. "He wants to talk to me but he's afraid of what you'll say if he's rude to me." I smiled.

"He's just gonna have to get used to it." She said. "Oh, Renee called."

"What did she say?"

"She just wanted to hash out some details on our visit. I told her we would arrive on the first of July and come back the sixth. They're going to pick us up at the airport." I was looking forward to the trip. I knew it would be hard for Bella and she would probably have some less than pleasant conversations with her mother but I knew it had to be done. I also wanted to meet Renee. I was quite curious as to who she was and how her mind worked. I wanted to see where Bella grew up as well. "Have you decided what you will do during the day?"

"I'll just say that I had some school work to catch up on after getting hurt and missing some classes." Bella nodded and got up from my lap to get the food out of the oven.

I took my leave and told Bella that I would be back tonight.

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