Five Years Later
He put the car in park and sat there for a minute, staring out the passenger window, looking up. He sighed and got out of the car, reaching over to the seat next to him and taking out the items he had brought with him. He walked up the grass laced field and up to the small grass place in front of him. "Hey Adam"
Eli smiled as he looked down at his friend's tombstone. "Hey buddy" he said as if he could see Adam in front of him. "I brought you some things" Eli said, pulling the things underneath his arm. He put the comic book next to Adam's grave. 'It's the Goons last issue. I forgot to bring it last time I was here. Better late then never." He chuckled and cleared his throat. "Clare wanted to come but..you know how she gets so she just sent you this poem she had read" Eli took out the folded piece of paper and read it. "All but death can be repaired. System settled in their sockets. Citadels dissolved. Wastes of lives, resown by succeeding springs. Death, unto itself, exception. Is exempt from change." Eli turned the paper over. "She thought Emily Dickinson would help a little. I thought this was more the mood a little." Eli looked down at the poem he had read "Nor dread nor hope attend a dying animal. A man awaits his end, dreading and hoping all. Many times he died, many times rose again. A great man in his pride confronting murderous men. Casts derision upon supersession of breath. He knows death to the bone. Man has created death. William Yeats" Eli folded the paper back up and put it in his pocket again, standing there in front of Adam's grave just standing before getting on with the visit."I uhh brought you some photos too" Eli reached inside the comic book for the two photos. He took the first one and held it up as if he were in a show and tell. "This ones from the reception at the wedding. See Clare? I think we both know she is wearing white just for show" Eli joked and laughed. "There is Drew. He was my best man since…" he stopped. "Uhh…Oh! There's Fiona. She's smiling" Eli smiled at seeing her for that day be happy. "She came in from New York for the wedding after she had left. I don't know if she ever visited you before she decided to leave Toronto. I think she just couldn't..you know.. be here anymore. She was happy though. I think its getting better for her, Rocky" Eli smirked and went down the line of people in the photo, Adam's parents, friends, Eli and Clare's relatives. "It was a great wedding. Who would have thought she would get this dude to settle, huh?" Eli playing with the back of his ring with his thumb, a white gold band with a black lining. Clare was mad when he had picked it out, but she came around to it. "I uhh brought this photo too" Eli's smiled widen as he took out the black and white sonogram picture. "This is the tail" he pointed at one of the legs. "Just joking with you dude. This is his heart beat and these" Eli pointed at the small fuzzes on the side of the baby. "Those are his arms. The doctor says he looks healthy. Yeah" Eli smiled and held back a few tears. "It's a he. Clare says I can name him. Well first name anyways." Eli walked a little closer to the tombstone now, placing his left hand on it. "I'm naming him Adam." Eli sniffed, holding back his emotions. "Drew is going to be the Godfather since you're not here." He cleared his throat harder this time. "Damn tears." He laughed, frowning at the end. "It's been five years. Five years without you here. It doesn't hurt any less. Feels like you missed out a lot in our lives, dude. You should have been my best man, held my kid when he's born, gotten married to Fiona, started a family. Had our children fall for one another and become actual family." Eli sat down now next to the tomb as he felt the tears but continued. "I feel like I let you down. If I could have known what that day was about, why you were saying the things you were saying, why you were dressed that way. Here you were saying goodbye and I was cracking Johnny Cash jokes. I would have stopped you if I had known or paid more attention. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you put the gun down. I'm sorry." Eli cried like a little kid for a minute before taking out the cigarettes and lighter, placing it between his lips and lighting it, taking one drag from it and blowing the smoke out of his lungs. "I don't believe in the after life. I know you know this, but I would like to think you are ok up there or in heaven. I hope you're ok" he looked up as if he was going to see something before taking out his phone. He went to his music and clicked on the song, the riff starting it off.
I hurt myself today. To see if I still feel. I focus on the pain. The only thing that's real….
Eli closed his eyes, letting the song begin until it ended, giving himself a minute before he started the conversation with his best friend again, no matter who was breathing and who wasn't, Eli still saw him as his best friend. His best friend that left too early.
END