Within Temptations©
Chapter Twenty-one: Ever-growing
By Genevieve Lee

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"True love doesn't happen right away; it's an ever-growing process. It develops after you've gone through many ups and downs, when you've suffered together, cried together, laughed together."

-Ricardo Montalban

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Audrey.

With every strike of lightning comes a memory that lasts.

Unfortunately for me, the memories in which I recalled were not pleasant. I had always hated lightning and thunder. The rain did not bother me and a good thing too, since it never bloody stopped in England, but ever since I was a child the monstrous storms scared me half to death.

I believe I had been ten when Jacky and I were out in the woods behind our house, playing for the few precious moments we had outsmarted our governess and gotten away. We were having such blissful fun that we had not noticed that the wind had picked up, or that dark clouds coated the sky that had, moment ago, been sky blue.

The first crash of thunder had sent my sister running for the safety of the house, leaving me hiding whilst I waited for her to find me, unaware I was now alone in the forest.

The storm had steadily grown worse, but I remained in my spot, determined to win the game, but sportingly soon decided it was time to go find my sister and get inside before the rain started, but as soon as I stood, it began pouring down it hard sheets.

I was lost in the woods for an hour, crying and screaming for Jacky and walking circles around the trees that all looked the same. I was terrified for my sister, not knowing she was safely in the house, but also for myself, for my mother was going to be absolutely furious when she found out what we had been up to—and worse, that I had lost my sister.

It was the stable boy, the same one who Jacky would fall in love and run away with five years later, that found me. Apparently he had seen both Jacky and I run out, but only my sister return, and he had come looking for me. At sixteen, he was tall and strong, and he picked me up easily and carried me back to the house where my mother waited, completely shaken, for my return. After that, I harbored a little crush on him, but soon resented him for taking my sister from me.

I still did, somewhat, but was also grateful at him for saving her from the life I had at one time wanted so much. It was not the world for Jacqueline, and I was slowly learning it may not be the world for me either.

But ever since then, I had detested thunderstorms, and the fear I had had that afternoon, running around without anyone around to help me, always returned in full force when one happened. It also was not helping that memories from the days previous were circling in my mind. I knew Erik was downstairs in his study, reading, or something, but it was not close enough for my liking. I recalled the night before with longing; how it felt good just to have someone lie beside me and tell me I was safe. I longed for that again, and found myself instantly awake and staring into the darkness.

I knew I would not be able to sleep until this need was satisfied.

The scratching of something on the window spurred me from my bed, and I was flying noisily down the hall, and then down the stairs to Erik's study, where I tried the door instantly, and found to my dismay it was locked.

"Erik?" I asked, glancing nervously over my shoulder.

I heard much fumbling and shuffling inside; drawers were closed loudly and then his footsteps signaled his arrival to the door. After unlocking it, I was greeted with his face poking through the crack, his body blocking any view of the room.

"Yes?" he asked, looking frazzled.

"I can't sleep," I replied simply, hoping he would get my message so I would not have to ask him to come to my room like a child. I wanted him to offer.

Erik gave a deep sigh, and said, "Are you having nightmares?"

"No," I instantly defended, before amending with, "Well…maybe."

"I'll be right up," he said, much to my satisfaction, but he still seemed disheveled and I want to know why.

I tried to crane my neck around his face in order to see inside the room. "What are you doing in there, anyways?"

The door was immediately closed tighter, so that I saw only half of Erik's face now, and this only aroused my suspicions.

"Nothing," he said gruffly. "Go to your room and I will be along momentarily."

"Wait, what's—"

I was greeted with the door in my face, and I heard the lock turn. I narrowed my eyes at it, wanting very much to know what was going on in there, but did not wish to heighten any sort of anger from him tonight. After our "talk" this morning, I noticed he had been temperamental; more prone to snapping at me for no given reason or brooding into the distance. I had questioned him, and he had said he simply had a lot on his mind, mostly being the men that had attacked me. I did not push it from there, not wanting to irritate him even further, and I did the same thing now, letting it drop and returning to my room as he asked.

Upon entering it, I looked warily at my window, wondering if the scratching would continue, and if I should tell Erik about it. This is how he found me: standing in the center of my bedroom with my eyes locked upon the rain-streaked window. At that precise moment, the scraping sound happened again, and I jumped slightly, angling myself unconsciously towards Erik.

"It's just the tree scratching on the window, my dear. I will have to hire someone to trim it, so it does not fall through your window during a larger storm."

My eyes widened at this.

"Thank you, Erik. Another worry: trees that will impale my bedroom," I could not help but reply, unable to take my eyes from the window.

He gave a small closed-mouth smile at this before saying, "Just lay down."

I did so, becoming comfortable at once, and signaled I wanted him to lay beside me by leaving a large space for him. I was already beginning to fall asleep when my hand touched the other side of the bed and I said, "Here."

The bed was plenty big to house both of us comfortably, and with extra room for a third person in-between. Unlike the night before, I did not take his hand or cuddle next to him, but was simply satisfied at having him in the same room.

"Swear you won't leave," I slurred as I struggled to keep my eyes open.

"I won't."

"No…swear you won't."

"Christ Audrey! Do you want me to take a blood oath?"

"Swear," I repeated.

A sigh. "I swear."

I wasn't sure if he had said it or not, because I was finally asleep.

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A strike of lightning woke me hours later, and I jumped, startled. My eyes instantaneously went to where Erik was, or had been, I realized moments later. I reached out for him, thinking that perhaps the darkness had disturbed my sight, but my hand was met with nothing but sheets. Cold sheets. He had been gone for a while.

The first thing I felt was frightful abandonment, and then a childish, yet uncontrollable, anger. He had promised not to leave, yet he was not here! The only evidence that someone had been there were the rumpled sheets he had left behind.

I kicked my blankets off, having a little trouble as they had entangled me as I had slept, but I finally stepped away from my bed, and then from my room. I walked down the long hallway to Erik's bedroom and entered it without hesitation. The anger had made me brave. I crept to the side of it, seeing that he was, indeed, asleep. And even more shocking, his mask was off! But he lay on his stomach, with the right side pressed against the pillow, and so everything was concealed.

At that precise moment, lightning struck bright, and loud thunder followed, causing Erik to frighten awake, much like I had done only a moment before. But darkness fell again, and as he sat up, I saw nothing but shadows until he grabbed his mask and replaced it onto his face.

"Audrey! What the hell—"

"You promised," I abashed.

"Well I…you were—"

"You promised me you would not leave and you did!" I said, mortified at the truth of it.

He began pulling the covers back and sitting up. "Here, I'll walk you back to your room," he said in an attempt to appease me.

"No," I said, shaking my head, and wondering at the same time what had gotten into me. "I want to sleep with you."

"But the storm is practically over—"

"I want to stay here," I growled slowly through clenched teeth.

There was silence after as he just stared at me, and I tried to catch my breath, for the fury had knocked it out of me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he said, "Very well," and he scooted over to the edge and held the blankets up for me.

I got in without indecision, snuggling into the velvet coverlets that clung to my skin and made it feel soft as silk. I felt Erik finally lay down beside me, felt the weight of the mattress sink, and then I heard nothing but our breathing.

I slept undisturbed.

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The next morning Erik and I sat at breakfast, which was of bacon, toast, and some eggs and biscuits. It was a quiet affair due to the fact that I was slightly embarrassed by the way I had acted the night before. I had been more like his daughter than his wife, but neither of us mentioned it. When I had awoken that morning, he was still beside me, having learned better when he had left before. After wishing each other a good morning, I had gone back to my room to wash and dress, and now we both were seated at the table.

After a few more minutes of silence, Erik cleared his throat and said, "Today we are going to have some company."

I cocked my head slightly, as this was news to me. "Oh?" I asked.

"Yes. Someone close in the police and Nadir are coming over, and I believe his wife is joining him."

"Why?"

"Well Nadir offered to help me catch your attackers, being the old chief of police in Persia," he responded.

"I thought he was going on that trip?" I questioned, knowing that it had been the reason I had gone to get his gift myself rather than having him do it.

"He postponed it for us. I told him I would pay for it when he decided to go on it again."

I gave a light nod, deciding this made sense before returning to my food, though only picking at it. I hadn't been too hungry the past few days, but Erik did not seem to notice my lack of appetite, for he didn't seem to have one either. And so for the rest of breakfast we ate (or rather, did not) in compatible silence.

Once we finished, he told me to go upstairs and dress, which I promptly did. It was the first time we were having guests in our home besides my family or Nadir, and so I took care doing so. Usually when I was trying to impress someone I wore the bold color of scarlet, but I didn't feel like wearing such a color today. Instead, I pulled on a dark blue dress that had darker embroidery flowers on the waist and up the bodice. The neckline was square and simple, with a little lace poking from the top, and the skirt was plain and did not fall elaborately to the floor.

The maid did my hair, pulling it into a chignon that was held into place with a sapphire brooch that my mother had given me for my sixteenth birthday.

My legs still felt tight and uncomfortable, as my bandages were changed often, but I had to admit they were already starting to look better. The shallow scrapes on my feet hardly hurt anymore, but the marks on my wrists were still livid. That is why the gown I had chosen was long-sleeved, and would not look out of place in the cool weather outside.

Soon enough, I heard a knock on the door and I knew our guests were here. I sighed and walked out of my room where Erik stood waiting. Knowing my legs still did not feel improved, he took my arm and assisted me down the stairs, where our maid informed us that she had showed our guests to the drawing room, and she would be in soon with tea and scones.

After thanking her, we both made our way there to greet our guests. I saw Nadir first, who embraced me and kissed my check, of which I returned, before I turned to introduce myself to the couple seated across the room.

But instead of a cordial greeting, the word, "You!" escaped from my mouth as I gaped at the woman sitting.

Who I was referring to was the woman who was sitting in my drawing room, completely at home, as if the incident at my engagement ball did not happen.

The woman I am speaking of is Carmen Montague, Comtess.

"Audrey," Erik said in a strained voice, "may I introduce you to the Comte and Comtess Montague? The Comte will be helping on the case, as he has wonderful connections with the police force."

"Charmed," I said, holding out my hand and still trying to get over my shock.

After sitting down and being served tea and biscuits, the men began talking immediately of something that did not hold my interest, but I found myself surprised at how well Erik was speaking with the Comte Montague, and I was grateful for Nadir who seemed to be filling in any awkward silences. But it only took a moment for my attention to be placed elsewhere.

"So Mrs. Destler, do forgive me for asking, but last time we spoke you were the soon-to-be Mrs. Hollingsworth. Whatever happened?"

I pursed my lips and took a sip of the too-hot tea. It was completely improper of her to ask, but she seemed as if she either did not care or she did not know otherwise. Her expression could have accounted for both.

"Dear," her dark-haired husband glanced over with slight concern, "remember what we spoke about…hmm?"

"Right, strange customs," she murmured to the brim of her tea cup with a foreign accent.

That's when I recalled she was from Spain, and may not know the customs of a London tea room. It made me glad I was not the only one who noticed her inapt prying.

"No, it's quite fine," I hastened to reassure the Comte, waiting until he turned back to Nadir and Erik before speaking again. "Well…," I began hesitantly, "it did not work out between myself and Mr. Hollingsworth, and I soon became Mrs. Destler."

"I see," she said, and took a quick sip of tea. "How is it you weren't around last Season? I was sure I was going to see you."

"My husband does not care too much for the scene of the Season, and I find myself that I have begun to agree," I said, surprising myself that what I said was true.

Her eyebrows rose then, as she evaluated me curiously. "Shocking! I always thought you were such a society girl."

I bawled for a moment, and then settled back down. She was not insulting me, for what she said was true. I had dearly once loved that part of my life, but it had all changed once I married Erik. Yes, I sometimes did miss the company of a large crowd, but I did not miss how I used to have to smile when I wanted to frown, or embrace someone who deserved a smart smack to their face. I did not like faking who I was, and I found that the more I was with Erik, the more I was able to discover who I was. Unlike many husbands, he let me do so.

And so I shrugged before saying, "People just change, I guess."

At that statement, Erik looked at me, and when our eyes met, I could not help but smile. Out of everyone, he knew how many alterations I had gone through.

He smiled tentatively back before returning his attention to Mr. Montague and Nadir.

"I can see that," Carmen replied, though not cruelly, before saying timidly, "You seem very different indeed."

I wanted to respond that she seemed different as well, but decided against it, least I seem too forward in my judgments. Although I felt she had changed too, I could not help but thinking perhaps I was the one who had transformed, and so others simply seemed different to me. Had I thought this woman so terrible before? Was it my own ugly personality that had brought out the bitterness in her own? Perhaps.

Probably.

"If you two ladies will excuse us, we will need to go to another room and discuss some business. Will you be alright, darling?"

"Oh, quite," Carmen responded to her husband. "Mrs. Destler and I have much catching up to do!"

After the reassurance, all three men stood, and Carmen's husband gave her a departing kiss on the hand, while Erik, seemingly without thinking about it, bent down and kissed my forehead gently before they all departed.

Shocked at the casual contact, and in front of guests, I stared off after him in awe, only looking away when the door closed behind them.

"You two are simply adorable!" Mrs. Montague exclaimed a moment later, clapping her hands together.

I looked dumbly over at her, my mouth agape, before saying, "What?"

She cocked her head at me, probably wondering how stupid I was. "Well it is just obvious you are in love, and I—"

"In love? Erik and I?"

"Well, yes," she continued, less sure of herself now, but continuing anyways. "The way you just look at one another and grin, and how you simply could not stop smiling just now when he kissed you! And the way he was staring at you. My dear, your relationship is quite obvious to anyone who is watching."

What on Earth was she talking about? Erik and I in love? That was…

"Utterly absurd! We are not in love," I argued.

"Is that the reason you did not marry Mr. Hollingsworth? Because you found Mr. Destler?"

Yet another inappropriate and prying question to ask in polite company, but I answered it anyways. "No, it is not. It was arranged by my parents," I said. "And we are not in love."

Carmen stopped her ranting for a moment, just long enough to evaluate me smoothly, before shrugging and saying, "If that is what you believe."

"It is," I responded dryly, but at the same time wondering if there was any truth in the words she spoke.

Hardly, I sniffed. There is no way Erik and I could ever fall in love. We are too different and too bitter.

Right? Right?

I frowned and took a biscuit from the platter and took an ungracious, and unladylike, bite.

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Genny's Note: I came in from Colorado at six this morning. It is one long drive! The trip was fantastic, and just what I needed! I wrote three chapters while there, though not in order. I wrote this one, chapter twenty-five, and one that is so far in I don't even have a number for it.

I hope you guys had a good two weeks and like this chapter. I thought it was funny(:

A little side thing: my mother was upset with me because I used my last fifty dollars of grad money to buy a new hardcover copy of Susan Kay's Phantom because mine is falling apart. Anyone else think I made the right decision?

Review, please!