IT'S OVER... I'm so upset, but that episode was soooooo good! It was definitely one my favourites. Every time Walter asked for Paige I almost lost it... I thought for sure he was going to tell her he loved her before the car fell, but unfortunately we weren't that lucky. Though I loved it, I'm sure there are people out there who would join me in saying that it's ending was disappointing... I'm so glad Paige kissed Walter, but "I really care about you Walter?" I wanted to hear that she loved him!
Anyways... enough with my whining. Though I am depressed that the season is over, it's made me more urgent to better this story. This chapter might not be everything you guys want, but it has a decent amount of Waige, and I promise the next chapter's going to be a big one.
Disclaimer: I do not own Scorpion. I do, however, wish I did, because I would have gotten more than 22 episodes.
Chapter 21: Recovery
It had been more than a few days since Scorpion had left the hospital. A couple minor, mostly boring cases had passed by. Paige was on bed rest for both of them. She had only returned to the garage just under a week ago. She had transformed back into her old, cheerful self, but Walter noticed that she avoided the kitchen as much as possible, especially the area where she had bled out weeks ago. The first thing he had done upon returning to the garage, besides cleaning up the mess he had left behind from the rabbit hole, was scrub the bloodied floor clean. It made him sick; not because there was old blood splattered across his kitchen, but because it was Paige's blood.
After Scorpion had fallen victim to plain, uneventful routine, you could say everything almost was back to normal. It wasn't, though. Paige walked with a small limp and something dragged her eyelids down. When Toby had speculated about the dark shadows she shamefully adorned beneath her eyes, she spoke quickly and with humiliation. "It's from the PTSD meds."
All Walter could think about was how he was the root of the problems that had plagued his entire team for the past few days. He had been a nuisance to everyone with his rabbit hole, then he landed Paige in the hospital and Scorpion reached another stand still. He had become toxic to the team.
Walter had grown awkward around Paige. They had fallen into a depressing routine; she would smile, he would nod, everyone would work on whatever boring case happened to be pestering them, she'd say bye at the end of the day, and that was it. Occasionally bits of conversation would occur, but Walter acted painfully rigid anytime Paige tried socialized with him. Walter would spend the entire time chastising himself for thinking about her too much. He wanted desperately to talk to her more, smile back, anything, but he kept reminding himself of all the pain he had caused her. Staying away was the smartest, most effective choice.
He had noticed he also hated going into his private kitchen. When he walked through there, he could vividly recall waking up from his latest excursion down the rabbit hole. Walter could nearly feel Paige's lips on his, followed by a startling gunshot... The emotion it brought him was too much to bear, especially since he had vowed not to emote. He felt torn at all times between guilt and longing, two foreign and overpowering emotions.
To make things worse, Toby looked at Walter every morning with an expression filled with so much disappointment, Walter had to stop himself from flinching. Though Toby could be sarcastic and a real jerk, he was one of Walters closest friends. To receive such a look of shame from him was startlingly hurtful.
Finally, Walter grew tired of the look of disdain. "What is it?" He demanded one morning.
Toby came and leaned on Walters desk, still looking as ashamed as a parent who caught their child sneaking candy. "Your situation saddens me, that's all."
Walter rolled his eyes at Toby's intentional obscurity. He took the bait and asked "What do you mean?"
"Well, it's not really the situation that's disappointing. It's more like how easily mendable the situation is." Toby continued. Walter gave him a pointed look that clearly displayed his thinning patience. Toby sighed. "Paige comes in here and says hello. You dont even say anything. You just nod, and then you spend the rest of the day pathetically longing for her. She says good night, and you spend the rest of the night feeling sorry for yourself because you're so damn guilt ridden."
"And your suggestion is?" Walter inquired dryly.
"Tell her how you feel and end this suffering!" Toby exclaimed.
"Toby, I don't feel anything. My EQ's gone. You're over analyzing a situation and inventing possibilities." Walter remarked tonelessly.
"You, my friend, are in denial." Toby opened his book bag he had brought in with him and started rummaging through it. "And you know what people in denial need?" He pulled out a large bottle of Jack Daniels and displayed it with dramatic hand flourishes. "Alcoholism."
"I don't drink, I'm not in denial and alcohol not only kills brain cells, it's also not allowed in the garage." Walter reminded him.
Toby frowned at Walters stubbornness. "You know what?" He declared. "You can just sit here in your self loathing and be miserable. Jack and I are going to go over there and have fun without you, because we're living a more honest life than you Mr. 197"
"I just said no alcohol in the garage, Toby." Walter called as Toby marched away.
"I can't hear you over my lack of self pity and denial!" Toby replied as he retrieved shot glasses out of one of his desk drawers.
Happy passed by Walters desk and froze, frowning as Toby downed the contents of a shot glass. "Did I miss something?" She asked.
"Nope." Toby called out. "You missed absolutely nothing. Because Walter is the same miserable head case today as he was yesterday."
"Ah." Happy said, glancing at Walter for a moment. He glowered darkly in Toby's direct, clearly annoyed. The shrink ignored his foul gaze, as he was too transfixed with the quickly depleting bottle he fumbled with. "Well, here's hoping you pass out and finally shut up for all of our sake." Happy left to go in the back of the garage where she was restoring an old motorcycle.
Walter watched Toby put back another shot with disgust. "Real mature." he remarked.
"I could say the same thing to you." Toby replied while refilling his shot glass. "And besides, its not like we've got any cases anyhow."
A few minutes later, Paige walked through the door. Walter straightened in his seat when he acknowledged her presence, but didn't dare look at her. He didn't want to seem pathetic and creepy by staring at her. Toby not only noticed this change, he also began giggling madly, having become a little more than slightly tipsy.
"Drinking? Really?" Paige asked as she set her bag down on the table. "Why?"
"Because he," Toby proclaimed as he pointed at Walter. "Refuses to, so I'm doing it for him."
Paige frowned and looked at Walter in confusion who shrugged, pretending to be oblivious. Toby hiccuped loudly. "Oh, listen, the sound of brain cells being slaughtered." Walter dead panned.
"Oh listen, the sound of misery and self loathing speaking." Toby shot back. He stood up and downed another gulp of liquor. "I might be drinking at work, but I'm making better choices than you are! Now where's that woman of mine! Happy!" Toby scrambled away towards the sound of Happy clanging against metal.
"What was that all about?" Paige asked tentatively.
"Toby being... Toby." Walter sighed. He offered Paige a small smile before returning to his laptop.
He tried not to look up as she sauntered to his desk. "Where's Sylvester?" she asked.
Walter glanced up from his laptop for a mere second. "Visiting Megan. They've become pretty good friends, and there's not much to do today anyhow."
Paige giggled at that, which made Walter frown. She looked at Walter with a small amount of pity, like she knew something Walter didn't. "Maybe a little more than friends," She murmured to herself. Walter raised his eyebrow and looked back down to his computer, not fully comprehending what she meant. He knew better than to initiate conversation and make himself feel worse, so he waited quietly for her to leave. But, though he had answered her question, Paige still stood by the desk. Her proximity made his heart race and his focus decrease. He feared she would notice how slow his typing had become and observe her effect on him.
"I was wondering if you would be up for a tiny experiment." She finally said.
Walter had been trying his best to stay away from Paige to keep her safe, but he had to admit she had piqued his interest and expertly preyed on his curiosity. The genius in him couldn't help but perk up at the thought of any experiment. He shut his laptop half way and gave her his full attention, though he remained cautious.
"Walk outside with me?" She asked. Drunken cries rose from Happy's work area. "I don't want to be in here when that goes sour."
Walter was hesitant to agree. He wasn't sure it was a smart idea to be alone with her, considering his reservations to prevent himself from harming her again. But he wanted to see what experiment she had in mind, and certainly didn't want to be a witness to the mess Toby was bound to create.
She smiled brightly when he finally nodded and led him outside and to the alleyway by the garage. She stood in front of him, looking oddly brave. "I want you to touch me."
Walter froze. He remembered Paige's screaming from the hospital, which had been the last time he had touched her. "I don't think thats a good idea..."
"I've been taking these meds for awhile, and I want to know if they're effective." Paige replied.
"That's a risky way to test it."
"It's the most efficient and at this point the only way to test it." Walter couldn't argue with that, but was still hesitant. "I need to know. If the meds aren't working yet, it'll hurt a tiny bit, but I'll feel better right away. At least this way I'll know if they are even working."
Walter sighed and slowly stretched his arm out. He placed a single finger on her shoulder, where it grazed her skin softly. He watched her expectantly.
Paige grinned widely. "Nothing."
Walter couldn't help but smile with her. "Really?" he asked.
"Yeah, I feel... Fine." Paige beamed. Then, she did something unexpected to Walter. She threw her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.
Walter, in his shock, had a delayed reaction and returned the hug seconds late. He expected her to release him moments after, but she remained pressed up against him. He had observed that the average hug lasted around 3-4 seconds. It could reach six seconds, if the embrace was being shared between close friends. But dozens of seconds passed, until Walter finally relented and stopped counting. Clearly this was not one of the average hugs he had experienced. He was glad, though; he didn't want the embrace to ever end. Her body was cushioned against his in a way that was natural. It something he could easily learn to be accustomed to. But at the same time, he appreciated and acknowledged the fact that their embrace was unnatural, and he had to savor every second of it.
"I never go the chance to thank you for saving me." Paige whispered.
Walter pulled back slightly so he could see Paiges face, but he didn't dare release her from his arms. He frowned at her. "What?"
"You saved me from Collins, after he shot me. And you took me to the hospital." Paige explained softly. She gazed at him with wide eyes that made his knees feel slightly woozy.
Walter shook his head. "Don't say that. It was my fault you were shot in the first place."
"It wasn't your fault." Paige joined Walter in frowning.
"It was."
"It wasn't. You can't blame yourself for this, Walter."
"Paige, without medication your body can't stand to be near me because of all the harm I've caused you." Walter replied. Just laying the facts out like that made him ache.
"Collins caused all of this, Walter. Just because he targeted you doesn't make you at fault." Walter opened his mouth to argue but Paige beat him to it. "Is it a rape victim's fault that they were raped?" Walter immediately shook his head. "Well, this is the same kind of thing."
"I don't think so. Collins and I had a feud and his attack was far more solicited than the attack of a rapist." Walter argued. "Though his attack was intended for me, it happened due to my provocation."
"He was mentally ill, and you were only helping be having him committed. That doesn't justify him trying to attack you." Paige protested.
"He was my friend. His attack, in his mind, at least, was righteous. But it was meant for me, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you received it though it wasn't deserved."
"You think you deserved to be be shot?" Paige gaped at Walter. She pulled a bit further a way from him.
Panic rippled through Walter as Paige threatened to end their embrace. "No," he rushed to say. "But I deserved it more than you."
Paige sighed and shook her head. "No one deserved it, Walter. I won't let you blame yourself, because from how I see it, you saved me." She said firmly. She looked him deeply and solidly in the eyes, clearly hoping she got through to him. Something unidentifiable hid in her eyes, something Walter knew that she hadn't vocalized it. He struggled to interpret it, but even though his EQ was heightened still (despite his constant denials to Toby) he wasn't familiar enough with emotions to read her.
She tightened her arms around him again and rested her head on his shoulder, and sighed loudly. Walter closed his eyes for reasons unknown to him. Perhaps it was because he wanted to block out his sight so he could focus on his other senses. He inhaled her perfume, a light lavender he had grown too fond of. She was warm and small and indescribably satisfying to hold, and her breathing was gentle in his ears. Maybe he wanted to savour all of the strange emotions those sense brought him. Or maybe he had closed his eyes because she made him so calm, he had no need to keep his eyes open and alert.
Her cell phone started ringing and she pulled away to tear through her pockets for it. Walter couldn't help but feel disappointed, but he didn't dare show it. The second he left her embrace, the enchantment she had cast on him shattered, and Walter guiltily thought back to his resolve not to let himself get too close to Paige and hurt her. He had quickly gone back on that vow without a second thought. Paige easily stripped away his willpower without him caring.
"Oh, hey Drew." Paige pressed her cell phone to her ear. She mouthed 'sorry' to Walter before turning away and walking back towards the garage. "Yeah, I think I have it in my bag, hold on a second."
She stepped inside and abandoned Walter, leaving him alone in the alleyway. He scolded himself for feeling so empty without her in his arms. What had become of him? He used to have no emotions and glide through life easily. All he ever thought about was math and science. Now Paige plagued his mind, and he was torn between wanting to keep his resolve and wanting her.
/WEAKNESSES\
Walter was chattier to Paige the rest of the day. He no longer feared accidentally touching her and causing her pain, so he allowed himself to open up more. But he was still hesitant, as he was wary he would grow too close to her and hurt her again. For his sake, though, he still spoke with her.
At the end of the day as she bid him goodnight, she absent mindedly touched his shoulder. Paige didn't seem to think much of it, but Walter spent a few minutes after she left replaying the moment through his mind while staring hard at his hands. She had too much power over him.
Toby wandered over to him and slouched down in a stool in front of his desk. The alcohol seeping from his breath made Walter wince. "I see the meds are effective." He slurred.
"How much of that bottle did you drink?" Walter asked, frowning at his clearly intoxicated friend.
"Enough." Toby replied. "So how long are you planning on withdrawing from Paige? Because in high school sex ed, we learnt that withdrawal is not an effective method." He wagged his finger dramatically back and forward, like he was chastising a school child.
Walter raised an eyebrow as Toby smiled drunkenly. "This has nothing to do with sex ed." He said stiffly.
"If you're lucky, it will soon." Toby winked. Walter stared at him, mortified. Toby giggled madly. "Paige is smart, even without that damn big IQ of yours, 'cause she knows better than to withdraw from you." Toby added. "I think she learnt not to trust that method after she became pregnant with Ralph."
Walter frowned at the shrink as he cackled. He leaned forwards and pushed Toby, not too hard, but just enough for the genius to topple off of the stool and onto the ground.
Toby groaned. "You're just jealous because I got Happy and you got nothing but Sad!" he called out from the ground. He laughed manically at his own ridiculous joke.
Walter sighed as he stood up and closed his laptop, ready to retire for the night. "Didn't Happy throw a screw driver at you for trying to kiss her drunk?" Walter asked him.
"I did more than try." Toby proclaimed proudly. He sat up, and the drunken haze lifted from his eyes for a miraculous moment of sobriety. "And you know what? If I die tomorrow, I'll know I had no regrets. What about you?"
Walter just stared at Toby for a moment, thinking hard about his words. He seriously considered a situation where he did die tomorrow, for whatever reason. Would he be regretful? He realized he would, because he would die without ever even taking a chance to love Paige.
Toby interrupted Walter's thoughts with guttural noises as he ungracefully vomited on the floor. Walter took a step back, groaning. Toby finished emptying his stomach's contents, and rolled onto his back away from the pile of puke.
"I'm going to venture a guess that you regret that." Walter said dryly as he slowly ascended the stairs.
"Not as much as you're going to regret sleeping alone, when you could have Paige in your bed with you!" Toby said as he stumbled upwards and towards his bedroom.
"Aren't you going to clean that up?" Walter called out.
/WEAKNESSES\
The favourite part of Paige's day was seeing Walter in the morning. Though he had grown unresponsive since the incident at the hospital and tried his best to blatantly shy away from her, Paige couldn't help but look forward to seeing him each day. Each time she greeted him, he glanced at her for a moment that she had grown to depend upon everyday. Because she had spent weeks on end staring into the blank, unobservant eyes of someone locked in the rabbit hole. To see Walter's eyes fully trained on hers with prefect clarity was a gift Paige refused to take for granted.
He had become a bit warmer and chattier to Paige since she had thanked him for saving her. Though Paige felt unhappy because of his withdrawal from her, she understood that he was guilty due to her coma and PTSD. Walter was terrible with emotions of all kind, and Paige could see he struggled to cope with the blame he felt with Paige's conditions. She was desperate to discover ways to prove to him that what had happened to her was not his fault.
The next morning, Cabe strode into the garage with an aura of urgency. He usually exchanged pleasant greetings with Paige before moving onto business, but today he quickly proceeded into the kitchen to begin talking with Walter.
Paige didn't believe in eavesdropping. She saw it as an immoral behaviour that Toby often receded to. But... she sensed that something was wrong. Even when something concerning was about to occur, Cabe would at least nod at Paige before beginning to speak with Walter. Paige used her acquired genius-like skills to deduce that whatever Walter and Cabe were talking about concerned her in a negative way. So, she shuffled herself quicker to the kitchen section to listen intently to their hushed voices.
"Homeland has moved trial up to less than a week from now." Cabe said quietly. "They need both you and Paige present to recall what you witnessed in front of a court if we have any luck of him getting moved to a better prison."
"I don't know if Paige will be comfortable with that." Walter said hesitantly. Paige strained to be able to hear them both clearly, and felt her heart flutter when she heard Walter's protectiveness of her.
"I'll talk to her after. What I'm worried about is you. I don't think it would be a smart move to face Collins in the court room given all the tension between the two of you. So... I've gotten clearance from Homeland to speak with Collins in the prison."
"I'm not seeing him." Walter growled.
"Just hear me out. You need to do whatever you can to supress your anger before you see him, because if you blow up in the court room the jury will be less likely to side with you. I think you should go talk to him."
"I doubt talking with him will be an efficient way to supress my anger." Walter hissed. Their voices had grown quieter, and Paige dared to creep out from behind her desk and towards them to be able to hear them more clearly. "I do not want to see him again. I understand that I have to be present in court, but I will not see him more than I have to."
"Walter, that's not a very wise choice." Cabe warned him.
"He almost killed Paige." Walter seethed. "No way am I going to willingly visit him."
"I think you should do it." Paige stepped into view of the two men as she spoke. Both of them looked alarm, clearly expecting her to freak out at the mention of Collins. Though his name did make her queasy, she saw this as an opportunity to finally stop Walter from feeling guilty. Having him meet with Collins might help him see how her coma and PTSD was the work of Mark Collins, and not him.
"Paige, um," Walter stuttered. "I-"
"It's fine. I knew that there would be some sort of trial that I'd have to go to."
"Thank you for being so understanding." Cabe said, a little shocked at how calmly Paige presented.
Paige wasn't as confident as she seemed, though. She didn't dare step into the kitchen. Her eyes were suddenly glued on an almost invisible red speck that clung on the wall were she had hid the night that Collins shot her. Her stomach felt sick, for she knew it was her own blood.
She snapped out of her trance when Walter placed a hand on her shoulder. "Let's talk here." He said, steering her to the couch. Paige was instantly grateful for his interruption. She flushed a little as Walter helped her sit down on the couch. "I'm alright," She protested.
Cabe came and stood by Walter as they both looked down at her. "Anyways," Paige continued. "I think you should definitely visit Collins."
"No," Walter shook his head. "I don't want to see him."
"Walter, you're a genius and you and I both know that going to see Collins is the logical thing to do." Paige said firmly. "You need to calm down so you don't blow up in court, like Cabe said. If you see him before hand, at least you will have had the chance to be angry and aggressive before you're in court."
"That is true, but I'd rather try to stay calm during court than visit him." Walter said stubbornly.
"You will implode in court, Walter. Cabe told me you left the hospital more than once while I was in my coma to try and attack him." Walter looked at Cabe pointedly, but Cabe just shrugged. "And all you've done since we left the hospital is wallow in guilt and self-pity because you think what happened to me is your fault." Walter turned his eyes to Paige and casted her a particularly unpleasant gaze. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Walter! You know it's true! You think you're to blame for me being shot, ending up in a coma and having PTSD, when really Collins is to blame for all of those things. If you go and see Collins, you'll realize this and you can stop with your mourning."
"My mourning?" Walter asked, raising an eyebrow in ridicule. He looked to Cabe for support but he just shrugged again. "Paige isn't wrong, kid. You need to realize everything wasn't your fault." Walter glowered at him.
"Also, don't you want to know what was in that email that sent you down the rabbit hole so easily?" Paige baited him.
Walter looked torn as he gave Paige a pained expression. "I really don't want to see Collins." He said half heartedly. "But I guess I will..."
Paige smiled. "It's the smart thing to do." She reassured him. "Also, you're not going alone incase you try to attack him again, so I'll drive you."
Walter's eyes nearly popped out of his head as both him and Cabe went rigid. "No." They both said at the same time.
"Yes." Paige argued. "I'm not going to talk to him or anything, but I think it would be good to just be in the same building as him to make sure my PTSD doesn't act up. I don't need it flaring up during the trial."
Walter looked constricted. She knew he thought that was a good point, but really didn't want her to go anywhere near Collins. "I'll be fine." Paige said reassuringly. Walter nodded weakly.
"Alright then." Cabe smiled. "That worked out better than I expected. Are you two good to go to the prison for tomorrow, at 2?"
Paige nodded. "Tomorrow?" Walter exclaimed.
"It's efficient." Paige recited one of Walter's favourite slogans in Cabe's defence.
"Trial is in five days from now. You've got go soon so if things don't go as planned, you have time to cool down." Cabe told him.
Walter groaned. "I don't think this is a good idea."
"Well, there's another reason to do it, too." Cabe said. "We'll video tape the meeting, and if you can get Collins to confess to trying to kill you, or how he broke out of prison, or anything, it'll be some rock hard evidence we can present to the court."
Walter looked weakly to both Paige and Cabe who looked at him anxiously. Paige could see he knew that going to see Collins was the logical decision, but he struggled to articulate it. "I don't know..." He groaned.
"Please?" Paige asked.
Walter sighed and rubbed his eyes, exhausted. "Fine." He finally said. "I'll do it."
This was a bit of a slower chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it all the same. The next one is going to be really dramatic and important, so I thought it would be good to fit a calmer chapter in. Also, I really liked creating drunk Toby. He wasn't too extreme, but I found him funny.
Anyways, thank you all for reading! As always, reviews are extraordinarily appreciated!