Song of Thunder

Chapter 21

The next thing Syaoran knew, he had opened his eyes rather groggily and was staring at Touya's ceiling.

Touya's ceiling was white, with nothing really on it. There were a few cracks where the paint was coming off, but that was about it. The only reason Syaoran recognized it was because Touya had this special light in the middle of the ceiling. Where it attached to the top there was a ring of metal that was wide enough for Syaoran to see his own reflection from where he lay prone on the bed.

He could also see the top of Sakura's head, resting against the table right next to the bed.

Blinking a little, his vision clearing, he realized though Sakura was sitting the closest to him, she was not the only person with him in the room. Yue was there, Kero on his shoulder, along with Eriol. He noticed a couple of people with headdresses on and recognized them to be the elementals. Yamazaki and Tomoyo were leaning against the wall, wide awake, but they did not notice him.

He tried to sit up. He failed on the first attempt, his arm slipping and his body thumped against the bed. This woke Sakura, who stirred quickly, instantly awake. Syaoran did not notice at first, pushing himself up more slowly. Sakura reached over to help him.

Syaoran was too tired to be startled.

He looked at her tiredly. She seemed fine, if still worried. " Hey," She greeted him, genuinely joyous that he woke. At her voice Eriol turned around. It turned out he and the elementals were never asleep to begin with, and neither was Yue. Kero gave a loud snore though.

" Syaoran-san." Eriol stood and walked over to him. The elementals stood as well but remained behind.

" What happened?" Syaoran asked.

" You did it." Sakura told him. " You killed Hiko."

Syaoran could vaguely remember that, vaguely. Strangely enough, the concept of killing someone did not bother him. It did not seem to bother Sakura either.

" But then you transformed into your human form," Sakura went on, " And they said the change was too abrupt. You had a bunch of weird things in you, ice shards, debris, and you had bad internal bleeding and you were sleeping for three days. They said you were going to come out fine though. Ritsuko-chan was a great healer, and so was Park-san."

" Park?" Syaoran blinked tiredly. He looked over Eriol's shoulder to see Chul standing with a stoic expression on his face. " Thought he could not heal." He said carelessly, before realizing that was not the wisest thing to say in front of the Water Lord.

Chul appeared to blush. His cold complexion made it difficult, but he looked down, slightly bashful.

" We'll explain things later." Ritsuko walked over to him. " Hold still now and let me have a look at you."

As she checked over him a new doubt gathered in Syaoran's gut. Now that he is Li Syaoran again, he was not sure exactly what the future held in store for him now. He was not even aware of any conscious decision to return. He merely wanted to help Sakura, to save her. He did not intend on coming back fully.

What will happen to him now?

" You're okay." Ritsuko declared. " Do you think you can get up? Get a bite to eat? You must be starving."

His stomach certainly hurt. He was just not sure if it was with nausea or with hunger.

" I'll go make Syaoran-kun something!" Sakura suddenly hopped away before anyone could stop her. She wanted to help Syaoran feel better, and what better way than to make honeyed milk? Ritsuko said he should start with something warm and light. Well milk was not exactly light, but it was rich in nutrition and very nice to the stomach. And Syaoran needs something to make him feel loved.

Syaoran watched her depart with both fondness and dread in his gaze. He wondered if he will ever deserve her.

" Hey," Yamazaki looked at Syaoran, " You feeling better?"

Syaoran gave a stiff shrug.

Yamazaki hesitated. " We talk later, alright buddy?"

Syaoran slowly looked up at him. He hesitated before nodding a little.

" I'm going to go help Sakura-san." Yamazaki told him, before leaving. Tomoyo rose as well.

" I'll go help as well. We all need to eat."

Syaoran had the distinct impression that Sakura was genuinely leaving him to make him better, but others were just trying to run away.

He was partially right—they were leaving him alone with Eriol, Yue, Matt, and Chul. Kero hovered around above his head in the most distracting manner, but Syaoran could tell the little guardian was simply restless.

Eriol looked him over. " You up for talking?" He asked quietly.

Syaoran shrugged. " What's there to talk about?"

" You were in lightning form for a long time." Yue said to him gravely, almost like he was in trouble for it. " Not even Nataku kotaishi was able to sense you."

Syaoran shrugged. " I was using the Thunder Card. It's magic based. It's not really my fault if you guys couldn't sense Sakura's card."

" We're not blaming you." Matt replied. " We just wanted to know why you didn't change back. You changed back kind of haphazardly that time, but most elementals never get it on their first try."

" I didn't feel like coming back." Syaoran snapped suddenly, irritated. He was not in the mood for being blamed.

" Syaoran, we are not blaming you." Yue soothed. " We just wanted to ask you…" He fell silent.

" I'm really tired." Syaoran protested abruptly. " Can we not talk about this now?"

" What did you hear that night?" Yue suddenly asked.

Syaoran froze. " What night?"

" Syaoran, I know that losing your family has been hard for you—" Eriol began,

" I don't want to talk about this."

" Syaoran I saw it in your mind." Yue took Syaoran's hand. " You should have said something."

Syaoran glanced at Yue's hand holding his in disbelief, and then looked up at the guardian. He recalled the first time he saw Yue, the night of the Final Judgment. Yue had been a magnificent being, and still is. Syaoran had been proud, but he had already been humbled by Sakura, and in the presence of the moon angel his mind had been filled with awe. He felt honored to even be able to see the guardian, and actually the idea that had he passed the judgment, that the guardian would have been his, that he would have been Yue's master, never really crossed his mind. But he did remember thinking, and it seemed so long ago now, that Sakura was lucky to have someone like Yue to take care of her. And now in his renewed bitterness he was both saddened and relieved that Sakura seemed to be surrounded by so many people who were willing to take care of her, who were willing to put their lives at risk for her sake.

He used to have such people. He never really wanted any more than his family to be there for him. But now he wished he did, because without his family he literally had no one. Under Yue's cold gaze Syaoran felt what little of his reserve and resolve crumble, and he felt vulnerable and small, like his heart had been sliced open. He knew, even without seeing it, that his expression had crumbled too.

" Syaoran," Yue called him softly, aware of the rest of the people in the room but not really caring, " Syaoran I have not taken good care of you. Both Kerberus and I have not taken good care of you. We were both…we were both angry at Clow, somewhat, for leaving us." Kero hovered and landed on Syaoran's other side. The boy had raised his hand to cover his nose, although it seemed it was a half-hearted attempt to cover his lowered eyes. " And we resented the obligation to take care of his descendants just because they shared his bloodline. It was a reason why Kerberus was so intolerant of you from the very beginning, and was a reason why I ignored you unless it was for Sakura's sake. But even so, Syaoran," Yue squeezed Syaoran's hand with both of his own, " You are family, if not only through Clow's blood in your veins, but Clow Reed's spirit."

Syaoran looked up at him, eyes glassy with tears.

" There is no doubt you are his descendant, Li Syaoran." Yue told him quietly. He did not bother convincing Syaoran that they cared for him because of who he was, instead sticking with what Syaoran was more likely to believe. " As his descendant, you are family. And we are your guardians as much as we are Sakura's, whether or not you own the cards. Never hesitate to come to us, Syaoran, for anything."

Syaoran did not seem to really understand him. His eyes and expression were blank and he did not respond at all.

" What we were discussing that night, Syaoran-san," Eriol added, " It was not because we did not want you. It was because we did not know if you would want to come with us. What Yue said, Syaoran, goes for me as well. I may not be Clow Reed, but I share enough of his memories. You still have family in me, and in Yue and Kero and Nakuru and Spinel. It is your birthright. It is your right."

Syaoran felt tears spilling from his eyes. He was not really sure what to believe, but he felt comforted despite it all.

" You're not alone." Kero told him. It seemed to come out of the guardian easier than expected. Syaoran looked at him, more spent than before. The door suddenly opened.

" Syaoran-kun!" Sakura chirped. " I brought you honey milk for now, Tomoyo-chan and Yamazaki-kun are making more…" She looked at everyone uncertainly. " Ano…"

Syaoran wiped at his cheeks. " I'm alright. Honey milk sounds good."

Sakura gave him a bright smile and presented the tray she was carrying. The glass of warm milk wobbled dangerously but Syaoran picked it up before it could pull any tricks. The sweetened milk soothed his throat and his stomach and warmed him from inside out.

Sakura stood in front of him anxiously, so he gave her a shaky smile, which seemed to be enough to ease all her fears. He closed his eyes, exhaling deeply as she took the cup away from him.

oO

There was a lady weaving on a loom. Somehow Syaoran knew who she was. Prince Nezha, who he never actually saw before, was standing at her side. The two of them looked up at him.

" Niang." Syaoran called. She was not really his mother, but it felt appropriate to call her that. After all, she was the mother of all elementals.

The Lady of Light was an elegant woman. There was a strength in her, as well as amazing beauty. She looked like an angel, like a divine creature, like a goddess. Her eyes were warm upon him as she spoke.

" Welcome, Hiko's Bane."

Syaoran did not answer. He knew he did not have to. Stretching his senses he could sense Sakura's aura. The Card Mistress must be dreaming as well, but he could not see nor hear her.

" Niang is making you a homecoming present." Prince Nezha told Syaoran. Syaoran looked upon the loom. The loom was huge, made of gold and mahogany, and upon it was a white shimmering cloth, like his own chou, glimmering with threads of gold and silver so that it sparkled and seemed to glow. The Lady of Light herself was dressed in white as well, with stardust in her hair.

" Gave us a downright scare." The prince went on. " But you are well now, and in good hands."

Syaoran doubted that, and his face must have showed.

" The loss of you has taught the mortals many things." The Lady told him. " They will not forsake you again."

Syaoran looked at the white cloth. " What is that, Niang?" He asked.

" Park Chul will know." She replied. " Talk to him more, child. He needs you more than you know. A Water Lord that can only kill is a poor lord indeed. You have unlocked what others cannot. Do not let it close."

Syaoran snapped awake. That was random.

He was startled for a second time when he realized that only Chul sat next to him.

They stared at each other in silence. Syaoran decided that this was one of the more awkward ways he ever woke up in throughout his entire life so far.

" Hey," Chul began uncomfortably, " Well, I couldn't sleep. The others are resting."

Silence dragged again.

" Are you hung—" But Chul was interrupted when Syaoran's stomach answered for him.

Chul could not help but grin at that. He was so fond of the boy already he could not maintain stoicism. Syaoran blushed a deep red and was glad the darkness made it hard to see.

" Think you can stay awake and make it downstairs this time?" The Water Lord asked him.

" Un!" Syaoran glared at him, still extremely embarrassed. He got up, wobbling a little, without Chul's help, but allowed Chul to help him out the door and down the stairs. Chul's warm hand on his made Syaoran feel tingly all over, that pleasant kind of tingle when one is moved. He helped Syaoran sit down at the table.

" I'll go heat something." Chul told him.

" What time is it?" Syaoran asked.

" It's three in the morning, but you were tired." Chul left his side.

Syaoran thought that Chul seemed different somehow, and that come to think of it, Chul did not seem to live up to his ferocious Water Lord reputation even that first time he met him.

He needs you more than you know.

oO

Syaoran and Chul did not speak much while Syaoran ate. Syaoran wondered if Chul was just the kind of person to freely help himself (or his charges) to another person's refrigerator, or if it was something all Koreans did, or if Fujitaka had instructed everyone to help themselves to leftovers without asking for permission. It did not seem polite to inquire, and ultimately Syaoran realized he was extremely hungry, so much so that he did not really care. Even if it was not the most polite thing to do, he seriously doubted any of the Kinomotos, even Touya, would have minded if he had helped himself to food in the middle of the night.

" Were you dreaming about your mother?" Chul wanted to start a conversation, Syaoran could tell. Given his reputation, though, Syaoran was not surprised that Chul was very bad at it. The comment stung a little, but not as much as he had expected. Perhaps being light itself had cleared away some of the sorrow after all.

" Iie." Syaoran shook his head. " I…I was with the thunderspeaker."

There was a long pause. Syaoran went on eating.

" You call her 'Mother'?" Chul asked.

Syaoran decided he must have spoken in his sleep. " I don't know…it seemed appropriate."

Chul paused. " What did she say?"

Syaoran debated whether or not to tell him. " She said…she said that I'll be okay now. She was weaving something, and…and Nezha was with her."

" Nezha?"

" Hai. Nezha said she was making me a homecoming present. And then she started talking about you, but then I woke."

Syaoran studied Chul warily, afraid of Chul's reaction. However, as seconds ticked by there was none to speak of.

Syaoran finished his meal and Chul led him up to bed, thought Syaoran remained awake for a long time.

oO

" It has been a long month." Nakuru sighed, flopping down on the sofa the next morning.

" You missed all the action." Eriol remarked a little dryly.

" Still, I did no end of worrying!"

" When are you heading back to England?" Syaoran asked. He was curled up on the other side of the sofa with another cup of honeyed milk in his hands.

" Soon." Eriol replied vaguely. " Want to come?"

A casual invitation. Syaoran was silent for a moment.

" I want to go too!" Yamazaki spared Syaoran the awkwardness by interjecting.

" Don't you have plans already, Takashi-kun?" Tomoyo asked. Syaoran sipped his milk, troubled.

" Why don't you come with us to Korea?" Ritsuko suggested to Syaoran.

Syaoran was visibly startled. He looked at her, like a deer caught in headlights. Chul turned away from the group to look out the window.

" He'd have to learn a whole new language." Yukito was not happy with that idea.

" He would if he went to England too." Yamazaki replied. They all knew it was not about summer plans anymore, if it ever was.

" I know Korean." Syaoran suddenly admitted. The group turned to him in surprise, including Chul. " And English."

" You learned it before?" Sakura asked.

" Iie." Syaoran shrugged. " I was the sun, at one point. And the moon. I don't remember exactly what happened during that time but…I saw and heard a lot of things."

" But you weren't gone for that long." Kero frowned. " How could you learn both so quickly?"

Syaoran shrugged. " Magic."

There was a pause.

" That makes things a little easier, sort of." Touya opined.

" Hai!" Ritsuko smiled warmly at Syaoran. " Come stay with us. You'll meet other elementals, just like you. And wizards."

Matt cursed. " Wizards."

" Trolls."

" Elves."

" Sprites."

Chul rolled his eyes.

Syaoran looked intrigued though. " I get to meet trolls or do I get to avoid them?"

" Oh please." Ritsuko laughed. " They're not bad. They're very stupid and they just stand there and let people knock into them. You have to beat the drums in a certain way to get them charging, and even then you have to have a thousand drums to do it otherwise it doesn't work. But trolls are fun. And they're good for practice because when they do hit you it turns to dust so you barely feel a thing."

" What are they there for then?" Sakura asked.

" Practice. They're for kids. To practice their spells and stuff on."

" You need a thousand drummers in order for kids to practice?" Yamazaki cocked an eyebrow.

" It's more for ceremonies. It's complicated." Ritsuko shrugged while Matt cursed again. The waterspeaker whirled on him. " Brightman! Watch your language!"

Matt rolled his eyes at her. Syaoran had stopped drinking his milk. Sakura leaned over the sofa to watch the elementals. Syaoran looked up at her, troubled. Sure, they were all inviting and welcoming now, but he was not certain if it was right to jump at their invitations. While Ritsuko and Matt bickered he thought of the Lady of Light and how she had mentioned Chul needed him. He looked over at Chul, who was looking out the window. He doubted it. Chul seemed as cold as ever, even if last night he had been somewhat sociable. He was not sure he would be comfortable living with the waterspeakers. Or Eriol. Or Yue.

" Are you feeling alright?" Sakura whispered to him. Syaoran looked up at her emerald eyes and nodded, smiling mentally. At least Sakura is alright now. She had been so close to dying. Suddenly his own situation did not seem so bad, as long as the girl he loved was well and cheerful.

" Matt, how many languages do you know how to curse in?" Nakuru asked, and the topic of Syaoran's living conditions was dropped.