Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
If you like this story, you'll probably enjoy kdzl's Fairytales and Dragons, which is really well-written. Also, don't expect any laughs because this is more of a filler.
XXX
Ding-dong…
Ding-dong…
"Oh, I cannot wait to feast my eyes upon you newly-aged wonder women…" They heard Garcia mumble as the latch clicked open.
"Hi." JJ waved.
Garcia stopped on the doorstep, thrown. "Um. I was not expecting this, but hello to you too."
She immediately began running over the different possible reasons for them still being little, raising a questioning eyebrow at Morgan, who rolled his eyes in a Tell you later way. He was carrying JJ, whose eyes were red- that alone told her as much as she needed to know.
A few seconds later, they heard running footsteps, and then Jack's curious eyes appeared behind Garcia, immediately focusing on JJ and Emily. "Hey you guys!" Turning to look at Hotch in confusion, he continued "I thought they were going back to wherever they came from?"
"That would be Candyland," Emily interjected seriously. "But JJ here is actually a native of Oz. Me and her go way back…we were neighbours for quite a while, too, back in Narnia." Jack's mouth dropped open. "Good times, good times…Remember, JJ?"
"No!" JJ looked dismayed. "You went to Candyland without me?"
"Candyland exists?" Jack asked in shock, not even considering doubting his friend for a moment.
JJ continued grilling her. "When did you go there?"
"Is it nice?" Jack pressed. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Why didn't you take me?"
Emily shrugged, leaning against the doorstep and milking her newfound glory, much to the adults' amusement. "Didn't think you wanted to go."
JJ looked at her like she was stupid. "There's candy. Everywhere."
"Yeah, I want to go too!" Jack whined. "Can we go, Daddy? Please? Please? Pretty please with extra cherries and sprinkles?"
"Relax, buddy, she's kidding," his father assured him.
"No she isn't- Emily never lies!" JJ said surely, nodding at Emily. "Right, Em?"
Morgan shifted her in his arms so that he was more comfortable. "JJ, are you from Oz?"
Her brow furrowed. "No."
"Emily said you are."
"Oh." Then: "Oh…"
"Yeah."
"Are you planning on letting us in any time soon?" Hotch directed his question at Garcia.
"Oh. Right. Yes. Reid's upstairs if you need him, by the way. And so's Rossi. I introduced him to Runescape a couple of hours ago, and haven't heard a peep from him since!"
"Runescape?"Hotch repeated.
"Oh, it's a MMORPG," Garcia said dismissively, waving her hand. "I figured I'd start him off slow."
"It's a what?"
"A MMORPG. He said he's trying to get enough money to buy some white armour he took a liking to." And with that, she ushered them into the house, talking proudly about how she educated Rossi on all things tech and pointedly ignoring Hotch's 'Oh-shit-she-got-Rossi' expression. After proudly letting them in, she settled them all on the couch with cups of tea- met with wrinkled noses, and coffee- met with appreciative sniffs.
Reid bounded down the stairs a couple of seconds later, drawn in by the smell. Garcia handed him a cup, smirking.
"So what exactly happened?" she asked, once Morgan and Hotch had had their caffeine fix, and she was sure that they weren't going to jump down her throat for asking. But they didn't get a chance to answer because annoyed thumps were heard coming down the stairs the moment she finished speaking. Rossi appeared soon after, in all his grumpy glory.
"So what exactly happened?" Garcia repeated, this time directed at Rossi.
"I killed forty-three cows, and twenty-nine elves. I chopped down five hundred and eighty seven trees," he growled. "Five. Hundred. And eighty-seven. I picked a whole field of cabbages about thirty times, and sheared three times as many sheep. I walked from Lumbridge to the Grand Exchange at Varrock eight times, and each time took about ten minutes, all to sell the wood, and the meat, and the cabbage and the wool for exorbitant prices. I started fifty-seven fires. I duelled with over thirty guards, and I fought with chickens. I. Had swordfights. Witheffing chickens! And then, when I finally have enough cash, after cutting down all those trees, and killing all those cows, and those elves, and those chickens, I think, 'hey, this might not be so bad. Because now I finally have enough money to buy that nice-looking white armour I saw a couple of guys wearing.' So I head back up to Varrock and buy me some white armour, and I'm thinking 'This is great!'"
He paused for dramatic effect. "And you know what they tell me? You know what that jackass tells me?"
"You mean the game?" Garcia asked, but he cut her off with:
"White armour is for flipping members only!" He sucked in a breath at the injustice of it all, as Hotch, Reid and Morgan tried to stifle their laughs.
"That's not very nice, Rossi," JJ said severely. "You shouldn't kill things that are smaller than you."
Hotch gave her an incredulous look. "As opposed to what? Killing things that are bigger than you?"
"Yeah, well, I had no choice," Rossi said moodily in answer to JJ, flopping onto the couch in annoyance. He looked over at Emily, who was subtly taking sips of Garcia's coffee. "So what happened at the hospital?"
"Needle," was all Morgan needed to say.
Rossi looked at Emily, his lips pursed in a contemplative frown. "Was it a big one?"
When she nodded, Rossi held his hand out in a fist, which she solemnly bumped.
"Stop encouraging her!"
"Dave!"
"C'mon, Rossi, you wanna take them next time?"
"There is not going to be a next time and that is FINAL!" JJ yelled at once.
A silence descended on the room for a moment. Then: "Jeez, you sound like Strauss."
"She does, doesn't she?" Hotch agreed with Morgan.
Rossi rubbed his stubble thoughtfully. "Maybe we could hire her out. You know, like to scream at people who keep forgetting things, like Strauss does. We could charge ten dollars an hour."
"Shut. Up," JJ growled, elbowing Morgan, who was chuckling next to her. He caught her elbow.
"Woah, that is not a clever thing to do. I'm still pissed at you for the hospital thing you pulled."
"JJ, we don't hit people," Hotch told her sternly. "We tell people when they're making us upset, right Jack?"
"Yup," Jack agreed, nodding proudly. "We don't use our hands."
"That's what animals do!" Reid piped up helpfully, earning him a glare from JJ.
"I like animals."
"No, you like cute furry bunny rabbits who sit on your lap and do nothing," Rossi said grumpily, still moody from his wasted hours on Runescape. "A real animal…now that's a different story." Turning to Hotch, he continued, "Remember that one case in Oklahoma? That idiot with his wild animals?"
"How could I forget?" Hotch replied grimly. In answer to Morgan's questioning gaze, he explained, "An old man in Oklahoma had been keeping wild animals- cheetahs, monkeys, a tiger- in his house. When he died, they didn't have any food, and resorted to human meat. Eventually they were caught and packed off to zoos."
"Oh, I went to the zoo once!" Emily piped up. " 'Cept I was kind of bored 'cause my butler took me, and also my housekeeper, and they kept telling me not to touch stuff."
"You kidding?" Morgan said in surprise. "The zoo is amazing! You can't be bored at a place like that. Right Reid?"
The younger man looked uncomfortable. "You know, I wouldn't know, seeing as I've never actually visited a zoo before. Odd, isn't it?" he asked thoughtfully. "I've been all over the country but never to a zoo."
Morgan snorted. "Another thing on the list of 'Normal Things Pretty Boy Has Never Done'. Comes right after 'flirting' and 'sex'." But his tone was light, and he grinned, showing that he was joking.
JJ was biting her lip during their conversation, thinking hard. "Guess what?" she finally said, looking up. "I've never been to the zoo either."
"You?" Morgan asked in disbelief. "How could you have never been to a zoo? That's like the standard must-do family outing for any small-town or suburban families- like your family."
She shrugged, losing interest in the topic. "Dunno. Wasn't one close to home. We were planning on taking a trip to New York, and we were talking about going to the zoo and Central Park and all that, but um," she swallowed, "then my…she, you know…after…after, you know, after what happened, we never got round to it. And then I went to college and didn't see the point."
"Aw, it's okay…" Jack scooted over to her and put his arm around her, not knowing why the mood had suddenly changed, but wanting to make her feel better. "We can take you to the zoo, right Aunt Penelope?"
"Absolutely." Garcia grinned in excitement. "The zoo it is!"
"Do we have to?" Morgan whined.
XXX
I'm really not happy with this chapter because it's more of a filler than anything else. So this doesn't count as a chapter. It's a filler, and not even a funny filler.
I'm sorry for it being late, my excuse is that I have exams and I'm so stressed I have constant knots in my stomach and I can't sleep from worrying. How do you all combat exam stress? Right now my tactic is to not think about it and then cram like hell, which isn't working out too well needless to say =(
~Maddie