Chapter Twenty One

Jake

Outside in the dark I waited. I knew Charlie and Leah were in the house. I'd seen Sam visit but couldn't get close enough to hear what was said. There were too many other wolves patrolling nearby. It was obvious that Sam had put Charlie and Leah under the pack's protection. They knew where Bella was and they would lead me to her. I wasn't afraid of Charlie, after all he was only a human and no human would stand in my way. Once I had Bella in my arms I was sure she would remember how much I loved her and she would reciprocate. They were meant for each other and I would have her. There were no vampire's to stand in my way and turn her head, not any more. They had abandoned her just as I expected. I would protect her in the future.

Leah

Charlie and I set off early the next morning to meet up with Joe and travel to Seattle before flying to Anchorage and then on to Nome. One of Joe's relatives would meet us there and drive us to the village where Annie would be waiting to fill us in on the situation. The weather had deteriorated since I had left on the snowmobile. It seemed such a long time ago, so much had happened since. I needed to talk to Joe but it wouldn't be possible on the flight so I had to wait my chance. He knew something was wrong but like me couldn't ask at the moment.

We got three seats together on the plane and spent the flight sleeping or pretending to watch the movie. Charlie was nervous and fidgeted incessantly. I was never more glad to see a runway in my life. There was a three-hour wait in Anchorage so I went to get a magazine while Charlie and Joe ordered some food at the airport restaurant. Well I use that word loosely, that's what it was advertised as! Charlie then went to stretch his legs and ring the Station to make sure everything was OK in his absence.

As soon as we were alone we both started to speak. Being the gentleman he stopped and gestured me to continue.

"What are you not telling me?" I asked.

He looked puzzled,

"I don't know what you are talking about Leah. What's the matter? You seem so cold and distant. What have I done?"

Much as I wanted to shout at him I realized that this was not the place or the time.

"I spoke to Sam Uley yesterday."

He looked at me cautiously

"And?"

"He told me that you had been holding out on me. Have you?"

Joe looked pained

"What exactly did he tell you?"

"Is there something to tell then?" I snapped back.

I could feel my skin getting hot. I looked down and saw that my hands were shaking. I needed to calm down.

"Joe, I have lived with lies and deceit for so long now and I am sick of it. I felt I could trust you. I told you all my secrets, everything. Why do I feel that it was all for nothing? Why do I feel betrayed?"

He put a hand on my arm and stroked my cheek with his other but I shrugged him off.

"Either speak or stay silent but don't treat me like a nervous horse. I don't need petting and soothing. I need the TRUTH."

I almost shouted the last word and several people turned around to see. Joe looked round uneasily "This isn't the place for explanations darling. I'll tell you everything when we get home."

I laughed at that.

"Home! I don't have a home any more Joe. I thought my home was with you where ever we decided to settle. Now you admit you have secrets from me. I'm not sure I have a home with you".

Again he grabbed my arm

"Leah you are over reacting. It's nothing important. I don't know why Sam even brought it up unless it was to cause trouble."

I pulled my arm free and stepped back

"Sam told me because he cares. After all that's happened he still cares enough to warn me about you. He even offered me a place back with the pack. If you had come clean maybe I would feel differently but evasion doesn't make for a good relationship".

He sneered,

"The famous Sam Uley bad mouths me and you believe him. Jealousy often lies."

I laughed,

"The really sad thing is that he isn't jealous. He has the love of his life. He even told me that you and I would make a good couple, well matched he said. Seems he was wrong."

And I strode away to meet Charlie who was on his way back. I felt my heart break as I turned away and I finally knew how Bella had felt when Edward left. When Sam had found Emily I was devastated but it wasn't his fault, it was imprinting, he had no choice. Joe had kept secrets while I bared my soul to him. Edward had walked away after Bella gave him her heart.

I was close to tears when I met up with Charlie and he knew something was wrong. He looked at Joe then put his arm around me and we walked towards the departure lounge. I never looked back although I knew he was following us. I didn't think I would ever be able to look in his face again. All I wanted was to get Bella and leave Alaska before it became the death of my sanity. Unfortunately I couldn't just leave now. I wanted to see Annie again and make sure Bella was OK although I trusted Joe's mother to look after my friend.

The flight to Nome was shorter but much more tense. Charlie sat by my side and Joe sat behind us. He tried to talk to me until Charlie turned and gave him the look. After that he sat back and closed his eyes. He must know that Joe wouldn't try again and he was right. I never heard a word from him until we disembarked and he shouted Hi to a tall young man standing at the luggage carousel. When we picked up our bags he lead us to a large four-wheel drive truck. We threw our bags in the trunk and I slid in the back with Charlie leaving Joe to sit up front with the driver.

It was snowing quite heavily when we reached the village and although the heater in the cab was good I was glad to return to the warm cabin that had welcomed Bella and myself so long ago. Annie grabbed me into a comforting hug. She then shook hands with Charlie.

"You must be little birds father. Welcome to my home. I'm so pleased to finally meet you."

She gestured for us to sit and bustled out to make a hot drink which she brought in on a large tray accompanied with cookies.

As we drank I saw Charlie eyeing up the room. He seemed to like what he saw and Annie noticed. "You like my home Chief Swan?" she asked.

"Oh call me Charlie please."

She smiled,

"Thank you Charlie, I'm Annie. I'm sorry that Bella isn't here to greet you. When we realized Jacob Black was in Alaska and looking for her we decided she needed a safe place to hide. Unfortunately the weather has closed in since then and she is effectively stranded."

Seeing Charlies concerned look she smiled at.

"Don't worry Charlie she is being well looked after and is perfectly safe. As soon as the weather eases we'll fetch her back. Until then you and Leah are welcome here. We have plenty of room".

When Charlie demurred she looked fierce

"That wasn't an offer Charlie. I would like to get to know you. I've heard a lot from Bella."

His eyebrow shot up but he managed a smile and nodded agreement.

It was settled then. Charlie and I would stay with Annie while Joe stayed at his Aunts in the next village. While Charlie and Annie had a cosy chat over supper I agreed to take a walk with Joe. Might as well get it over with, then I could leave more quickly and go back to Forks, I sighed heavily. What a prospect!

As it was snowing so heavily we settled on a drive round the village instead. The sad thing was that I had such happy memories of this place. Bella and I had been settled and contented here. Joe finally pulled up outside the closed store.

"I want to explain Leah."

"The very fact you have something to explain says it all Joe but go on. I'm listening."

I folded my arms as he tried to take hold of my hand.

"Its stupid really" he started and I just glared at him.

"When you told me about your life on the Reservation I was really surprised. In the legends its only ever the men who change to defend their lands. So it must have been hard for the guys when you phased."

I snorted

"Oh yeah. I felt really sorry for them. It must have been tough."

He realized what he had said.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that is probably why they treated you as they did."

My temper, never exactly noted for being cool was rising fast.

"They treated me like a pariah. Sam imprinted and I was the sad little bitch who pined for her lost love. Or the pack joke. Have you any idea how that feels? No you couldn't possibly understand. You've never been in that position how could you?"

He opened his mouth again.

"Please Leah. Let me finish."

I sneered at him but fell silent.

"When I was a little boy I learnt the tribal legends. About men turning into spirits and animals to protect their Tribe from enemies. Whether they be other Tribes or other supernatural beings. I thought it sounded like a great adventure. When I got older I was told about the Guardians of our Tribe. Men who would change their shape to protect our tribe from "The cold Ones" who lived in the Denali National Park until they found that these monsters were not a threat to us at all. My father was a shape shifter who died protecting us from another tribe. I never wanted to become a Guardian and I never changed. When you told me about your ability to change into a wolf and how you did so to protect a single human girl from vampires I was ashamed. How could I tell my brave Leah that the man she loved was a coward?"

When Joe dropped me at the cabin I went in without a backward glance and after a quick goodnight to the others I shut myself in my room. I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or scream. My boyfriend was afraid of me. He was a coward and ashamed of it only because he thought I wasn't. The fact that I hadn't asked for any of this didn't seem to matter. Why he thought I would think less of him because he wasn't a shape shifter I didn't understand. He hadn't missed out because he was a coward and didn't want to be one. He didn't shift because there was no need for Tribal Guardians here. Why couldn't he see that? We only phased on the Reservation because the Cullen's came back and drew others of their kind there. If they had stayed away I would be just another girl, happily settled with Sam who would never have imprinted on Emily because he would never have phased either. My life was a tragedy not something to be proud of. What was so difficult to grasp about that? I put my pillow over my face to stifle the sobs that wouldn't stop coming.

The next morning I was exhausted. I'd been up all night deciding what to do. I had to talk to Joe again. I had to make him see there was nothing to be ashamed of. I did love him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him...if he'd have me. If I stayed here I need never phase again. I hated what it did to me. I would promise him if he wanted me to. Anything to keep him with me.