Chapter Twenty One – Truth
Her voice was not accusing and yet Ryoma still felt like sprinting down the mountain. His mind whirred as he tried to come up with an evasive yet calm excuse.
Luckily he was saved as Sakuno continued speaking, "I know you've been trying to hide it for a while, Ryoma-kun and you've been acting really strange… And I don't know if it has something to do with me or not so it's really none of my business but…" The wind subsided for just a second and Ryoma caught a glimpse of Sakuno's face as her hair fell away from it like a curtain. She was blushing, "…if you need someone to talk to, I'll always be here."
Ryoma's eyes widened and he automatically ducked his head, as if shielding his eyes from the sun. He wondered if he was blushing; not that he could tell.
Really, she was too nice for her own good, thought Ryoma. She had probably been suspicious this entire time and yet she never confronted him or thought differently of him. Even now, she never suspected that he might be the problem in all this.
Ryoma never really showed his feelings but they were there; and right then, he wondered why he'd ever agreed to lying to her. She'd never been anything but honest with him and he was carelessly leading her on, being someone he wasn't.
Sakuno was waiting. Ryoma let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding and wondered which path to take. Casually brushing this off and continuing with his sempai-tachis' advice seemed to be the better way to go. And yet… he couldn't kill that feeling in the back of his mind that nagged it was time to tell her.
He ignored it.
"It's nothing," he said.
When Ryoma returned home, he realised how hungry he was. Until Sumire dropped him off at his house, doubt and indecisiveness had left no room for anything else. Sakuno was happy during the sunrise, accepting his decision, although she did seem to be quieter and more thoughtful after their talk.
Once again he wondered if he'd made the right decision as he opened the fridge; stuffed with milk as per Inui's diet menu for him. He grabbed a bottle and sat down at the table, wondering if his family would wake up yet.
"Chibisuke?"
Ryoga stood in the doorway, wearing Nanjiro's old pyjamas; his hair sticking up in weird positions. He yawned once and sat down opposite Ryoma, "Morning."
"Morning," Ryoma murmured against the bottle.
"How was the sunrise?" asked Ryoga, running his hand through his hair, attempting to smooth it down and failing, "I forgot to give you your earpiece so we don't know what happened."
"It was fine," said Ryoma. He paused for a second and added, "You can give Monkey King the earpieces back. I'm not going to use them anymore."
"If it was just 'fine', you sure as hell are going to use those earpieces," said Ryoga, smirking. He picked up the milk's bottle cap and spun it on the table out of boredom.
Ryoma glared at him, "She figured it out."
Ryoga raised an eyebrow, stopping the cap, "Huh?"
"The earpieces; that I'm hiding something; she knows," said Ryoma.
"She figured it out?" said Ryoga, frowning.
"Not the whole thing, but she's suspicious."
"So, did you tell her?"
"No, I said it was nothing."
"Huh," Ryoga stood up and flicked the bottle cap at his head, "OK. I'm going back to sleep."
'Huh'? After that and all he had to say was 'huh'? It pissed Ryoma off slightly; that and he had a bad lack of sleep. He stood up too, drinking the last of his milk, "Fine. I'm going to sleep too." Then he remembered something, "Your advice is the last one. What is it?"
Ryoga paused, just inside the doorway and ran his hand through his hair again but this time his hand lingered in his hair. For a moment, it looked as if he was scratching his head.
Did he forget his advice? thought Ryoma, beginning to glare and about to make a comment when he noticed his brother's hand had curled into a fist in his hair, as if he were frustrated. Ryoma held his tongue, confused for a second and wondered why.
Ryoga dropped his hand and continued walking as if nothing had happened. When he spoke, it was in English.
"You still have a long way to go, Ryoma."
Ryoma woke to the smell of bacon and eggs wafting into his room. Rubbing his eyes, he yawned, feeling somewhat better. Karupin roused at the foot of his bed, her tail flicking back and forth as she slowly woke up.
"Morning," said Ryoma. Karupin mewed in response before leaping off his bed and pattering down the hall, following the smell. Ryoma walked after her until he was just outside the kitchen.
Suddenly Karupin turned and bolted back down the way she came. Ryoma made a surprised sound and raised an eyebrow in confusion but shrugged and stepped into the kitchen.
"DO YOU HAVE TO READ THAT BEFORE BREAKFAST?" Rinko's yell could be heard a mile away. Ryoma could practically feel the house shake as he covered his ears, flinching when the sound of his father's screaming and the tearing of paper was heard afterward.
When it was safe, Ryoma dropped his hands. He could still hear the bacon and eggs sizzling and wondered if they would be burnt by the time Rinko was done.
He decided not to risk it, "Nanako!"
No reply. Maybe she was out.
Ryoma walked over the saucepan, flipping over the food as Rinko came back in, holding a ball of torn up paper in her hands.
"Good morning~" sang Rinko, a little too chirpily as she emptied her hands. Ryoma glanced at it. Definitely one of Nanjiro's magazines. What was left of it anyway.
"Don't you ever get tired of that?" asked Ryoma as he flipped over the remaining bacon. Normally he wouldn't be interested in his mother and father's relationship but he found himself curious.
"No, it's my morning workout," said Rinko, laughing, taking the spatula from him, "Thank you."
Ryoma was silent as he sat down, wondering why he'd even asked.
Rinko smiled at him from over her shoulder then turned back around, "Really though, it doesn't matter to me."
Ryoma found the bottle cap from last night and began spinning it, like Ryoga, "Isn't it annoying?"
"That he keeps reading perverted things?" Rinko scooped the food on a plate and laughed, "Sometimes. But really, I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Why not?" said Ryoma. He really was wondering why he was asking these weird questions but they came out before he even realised it. He flicked the bottle cap, making it spin faster, "Would it really be any different if the old man wasn't perverted?"
"You have so many questions today," said Rinko, placing a plate of bacon and eggs down in front of him, then a bottle of milk, "Eat up."
"You didn't answer my question," said Ryoma flatly as he watched the bottle top slow down and fall over, finally coming to a stop on the table top.
Rinko was silent. When she spoke, it sounded as if she was smiling.
"Of course it would be different. If he'd been even the slightest bit different from who he is now, I'd never have loved him."
Breakfast was a quiet event at the Ryuzaki residence. Sumire seemed to have used up all her questions last night and therefore had nothing else to say. Sakuno sighed as she watched her phone, tapping the pencil against her notebook, willing it to light up and vibrate. In these sorts of situations, it seemed like a good idea to turn to her friend for advice.
Tomo-chan must still be asleep, thought Sakuno, recalling Tomoka's jet lag.
Ryoma was lying, Sakuno concluded that much. At first she wondered if it was some sort of personal issue at home, but she'd spent time at his house before and even though he acted otherwise, she knew Ryoma got on with his family and liked them. She didn't want to pry but she was curious nonetheless.
Her phone lit up and buzzed.
Sakuno smiled and picked up the phone, quickly reading the message.
Sakuno!
Sorry about the late replying; had to take care of my brothers today. Also I'm recovered somewhat from my jet lag~ :)
As for your problem with Ryoma-sama… well, honestly? It's pretty much a dead case. For all we know, Ryoma-sama might just be really fidgety. But even if you're certain he's keeping a secret, there's nothing you could really do about it. You don't seem like the interrogation type or the investigation type. So really, you don't have to worry about it. If he wants to tell you then he will.
Tomoka.
Sakuno sighed and turned off her phone. Really, she already knew what Tomoka had told her. It was just that she sort of wished that her friend would tell her to interrogate him. At least she'd have someone to back up her paranoid attitude. But now, it seemed to depend on how much Ryoma trusted her.
You're not exactly his best friend and really, he doesn't have any reason to tell you, Sakuno reminded herself but still…
A knocking at the door interrupted her out of her thoughts.
Did Obaa-chan forget her keys? Sakuno thought as she went down the stairs.
But when she opened the door, another familiar face greeted her.
Ryoma tossed the earpiece in the air like a coin toss, expertly catching it with one hand. He still hadn't reached a decision. Ryoga hadn't said anything about his advice and no one else was bothering him today, which was sort of strange, but nice since it left him alone to his thoughts.
She'll find out eventually; she's already suspicious, but maybe she never has to know. If you change a little bit each day, she'll never notice.
But still, he remembered his mother's words.
'…If he'd even been the slightest bit different from who he is now, I'd never have loved him.'
Was that true? Or was it just some cliché thing all mothers said? Ryoma was too confused; his head wasn't built for this.
A tap at his window almost made him jump; he was so deep in thought. When he looked up, he saw his grinning father, holding a tennis racket which he promptly tapped against his window again. But this time, he also yelled, "Ryoma! Come on, we're playing a game!"
The ball zoomed past Ryoma's face, hitting exactly on the baseline. Ryoma flinched and lowered his racket.
"You're not focussed today," said Nanjiro from across the court. He opened his eyes and rested his racket against his shoulder, "What's wrong with you? Usually you'd be the one asking for a game." He laughed loudly.
Ryoma stayed silent and turned around to go back inside.
"Ryoma." His father's voice turned serious; no joking or laughing. It was enough to make Ryoma pause.
"Come on, let's talk," said Nanjiro.
Ryoma reluctantly turned around and followed his father to the shady spot under a tree. He still kept his distance though and Nanjiro seemed to accept that.
"So," said Nanjiro bluntly, "What's wrong with you?"
Ryoma picked the earpiece out of his pocket and threw it at his father, "Should I keep using that?"
Nanjiro caught it and looked at it for a few moments. Finally he said, "Well, what do you want to do?"
Ryoma couldn't believe it; it sounded as if he was in therapy. He made a move to stand up but Nanjiro stopped him, "It's a simple question, Ryoma."
"I don't know what I want to do," muttered Ryoma, half expecting his father to say 'follow your heart' next, "My head's not built for it."
Nanjiro chuckled, "Of course it is. You're born with my head, after all." He leaned back against the tree trunk and tossed the earpiece back to Ryoma, "And I managed to get your mother. Think about how I did it. Now go away, I'm reading." He produced a newspaper out of nowhere and pretended to read but Ryoma knew better.
"Don't let Mum find that," he said, holding the earpiece as he stood up and walked away.
"Where're you going, kid?" called Nanjiro.
"Ryuzaki's!" Ryoma called back.
Ryoma didn't exactly run to the Ryuzaki house but he was still nervous as he walked up the path to the front door.
Sakuno answered on the first knock and she stood there smiling, although seeming a bit surprised, "Good morning, Ryoma-kun."
"Morning," said Ryoma, wondering how he should do this, immediately regretting not planning before he arrived.
"Ryoma-kun, is everything OK?" Sakuno asked, her voice concerned.
"Sorry," said Ryoma.
"About what?" Sakuno's voice sounded surprised now.
Suddenly, playing against Yukimura in the Nationals seemed to be the easiest thing in the world.
"About…" his mind grasped a thousand words, each not seeming quite right, "These past couple of weeks. I haven't really been honest with you." He paused for a second, wondering if he should add anything on.
He did anyway, "Sorry."
Ryoma wasn't sure what to expect then. He matched various reactions to different situations, ranging from being forgiven to having to say another apology and felt calm and confident for any situation.
What he didn't expect was for the door to be shut in his face.