Chapter 21
Are you a Fox? Or a Mouse?
The group meet up with a number of new companions, but of all of them the lotus shines the most. The hound is found near the sunny place, and the fox swears to protect its territory. Scar face orders the fox to find a word, but Is surprised when he does so. Word in tow, the snake's daughter bids them welcome to her lair.
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As the sun rose above Konoha, a certain excitement was in the air, enveloping the village like an electrified blanket…or something. Deep within a certain forest, the Kyuubi heir was running around like a drunken chicken.
"I'm gonna be a Chuunin, I'm gonna be a Chuunin, Da-tte-bayo!" The blonde was bouncing from tree-trunk to tree-trunk as he sang, unconcerned with his horizontal standing.
/Excited?/ His foxy friend asked.
/Like fire in blood!/
/What is this 'test'?/
/Test of skill. Pass, treated better, more responsibility/
/Higher in pack?/
"Exactly! With this I'll be one step closer to Hokage!" Naruto exclaimed, before leaping from his tree. Spinning through the air, he landed on the ground, munching happily on a dragonfly.
/Confident?/
/Yes/ He yipped, swallowing the insect with a crunch.
/…If you fail?/
"Then I'll just have to try again next time, but I won't fail!"
/Watch your words, you shouldn't waste oaths/
"I know, its just, I get so fired up if I've got an oath to fulfill, like its impossible for me to fail"
/That's the point, but if you do fail, its enough to tear your heart out/
"How the hell did demon's get like this anyway?" Naruto pouted, glancing at his hand, specifically, the not quite normal nails on the ends.
/Who knows? Ask Kuroi Tsuku/
/Kuroi Tsuku sleeps until full moon. You know as well as I do/ Letting out a sigh, Naruto jumped over to a nearby stream and bent down to drink.
/Then remember it, ask later/
"Bah, I don't even now if half the stuff in my body is demonic, or unique to Bijuu. Tsuku-Sama's told me all about the other eight, and stuff, but never tells me the small stuff. I mean, as far as I know, the Kyuubi is the only truly demonic Bijuu, but I don't know for sure, and Tsuku-sama never tells me stuff like that, says 'its irrelevant', then asks me how my seduction techniques are progressing. I swear that fox is nothing but a pervert, Kitsune-hentai" He growled, before plunging his head under the water.
/Have you told Kuroi Tsuku about your mate?/ Kori yipped, hopping over to sit next to the blonde.
/Yes/
/What did he say?/
/He said;/
"'Mugen you thrice-damned human fool, if you have even a drop of pride, you'll claim the girl immediately, or so help me that fool hound will,' While strangling me through the cage. Y'know, I think he's ashamed at having a virgin for a successor"
/Why haven't you claimed her yet?/
"Well, I mean, we're getting to know each other better and stuff, and she's certainly…well my Oni-Zenshin is reduced to one syllable words when I'm around her…it's really distracting actually, but I don't want to do anything she'll hate me for, then what? …I don't want to lose a precious person…"
/Your sentiments should be treated with as much caution as your Oni-Zenshin, they both come from you after all/
/You insult me/
/No! I just-/
'Grrrrr-RAH!" Switching to fox form, Mugen tackled Kori to the ground, Growling menacingly as he stood over him.
/Submit, submit!/
getting up off his companion, he changed back into his human form, coughing slightly.
"I wish it was that easy for humans, none of that 'diplomacy' crap" Naruto grunted, as he thumped his chest, his lungs faltering under the strain of the sudden movement, so soon after changing shape.
/Words are overrated/ Kori sighed, climbing to his feet.
"Yeah…ugh why did I get up so early?" Naruto groaned, glancing at the sun. "I don't have to be there until four, and if I train I'll just tire myself out. I'm gonna need all the energy I can get for this."
/When wake is dull, turn to sleep/
"…something like that," Naruto sighed before walking over to, and onto, the nearby stream. Sighing, he closed his eyes, and sat down. Being careful to channel chakra all over his legs, he narrowed his eyes as he felt water tickling his naked legs.
"Still needs work…" He muttered, before closing his eyes, His legs crossed in a meditative position, thoughts of chakra and Jutsu whirring through his head.
'Must…learn to seal…hot ramen'
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
As hours tick by, it was soon approaching the designated time. All about the building various groups of three met up and made their way inside, Team Seven being no different.
As Naruto all but ran to his teammates, one could scarcely see his face behind his enormous grin.
"Ohaiyo-Gozaimasu!!"
"Tch, Urusai, Usuratonkatchi" The Uchiha grunted, but not even his insult could hide the smirk twisting at the side of his mouth.
"Oi, we need to stay focused" The Kunoichi of Team Seven scolded, with her hand on her tip and wagging her finger she looked scarily like a certain Nara genin's mother.
"Ahh, but I'm just so excited, there's probably lots of strong people here, Wah! It's almost enough to make my blood boil!" The blonde wailed, squirming around inside his weighted jumpsuit. Even the ever stoic Sasuke seemed to be having a hard time staying perfectly still, his eyes constantly darting about as though daring a foe to challenge him there and then.
"Come on, if we don't hurry up we'll be late" Sakura chided, grabbing Naruto by the ear and dragging him along, Sasuke trailing behind them.
"Ita-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-i-i, Sakura-Chan, stop! you know my ears are sensitive" He cried, flailing helplessly against her grip.
"Less taking, more walking" She commanded, a determined gleam in her eye.
'We will not lose!'
XXXXXXXX
As Team Seven made their way through the building, they slowly started to tense.
'Why are so many people…just standing around out here, shouldn't they be inside already?' As they continued forward, Sakura suddenly tensed, before nudging Sasuke with her elbow.
"Sasuke-kun, Genjutsu ahead" She whispered, subtly pointing to the door just down the corridor. The door marked as '301', and seemingly guarded by a pair of would-be intimidating Genin. Sasuke nodded once, before jabbing Naruto slightly harder than necessary.
"Teme-" Before the blonde could launch into an aggressive tirade, Sasuke tapped his nose, nudging his head towards the door. Getting the signal, Naruto sniffed the air, the scent of people, and chakra, flooding his senses.
It was a skill he'd picked up relatively recently, somewhere between Sakura scolding him for having difficulty sensing chakra (as if anyone could hide from him), and hearing that most Inuzuka, particularly Kiba, were capable of doing such a feat, the blonde had been temporarily overcome by his underlying superiority complex for all things canine, and trained until he too was capable of detecting chakra with his nose. A few days later, Kiba had been mysteriously attacked while, as far as he was concerned, completing a rather successful stealth exercise. It had taken the dog-boy three days to wash the dye out of his hair, and a further three days for the smell of carnations from his jacket. Funnily enough, around the same time Yamanaka Ino noticed that she was missing one of her books entitled 'Hanakotoba for Beginners, by Rimono Ikibi'
"It's just a small one, centralized around the room number, there's also another around the two by the door, smells like a henge. Also, they seem stronger than… a Genin should be" He conveyed, keeping his head low.
"Wait, the door number? It says 301… but we only went up one set of stairs…that should be 201. Must be the Genjutsu" Sakura concluded under her breath.
"Whatever, lets just leave these fools behind." Sasuke muttered, before walking unnoticed towards the stairs. Unnoticed except for a pair of round, black eyes that watched him calculatingly.
'So that is him? Uchiha Sasuke…and who's that charming woman he's with?' As the person moved, a pair of cold, white eyes glanced at him.
"Where are you going?"
"Gomen, Neji-san, there is something I must take care of"
"Hmph, just don't be late…"
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As the group walked out into a wide corridor before the stairs, they were suddenly stopped by a voice from the balcony above them.
"Excuse me, Uchiha-san" The voice spoke. As the team turned around they were greeted with the sight of a boy about their age, donning a bowl haircut, green spandex with orange leg warmers, and bandages wrapped around his arms to just below the elbow, a Konoha Hitai-ate tied around his waste like a belt. Atop his forehead a pair of thick, black eyebrows sat almost ludicrously.
"What?" The Uchiha demanded.
"I wish to challenge you. Right here, right now"
"Right now?" Sasuke demanded somewhat incredulously.
"Hai" Swiftly jumping off the balcony, the spandex clad ninja appeared on the floor in front of them,
"Why does Sasuke-Teme get all the fun?" Naruto pouted, folding his arms across his chest.
"Allow me to introduce myself," The person said. "My name is Rock Lee, hajimemashite"
"Uchiha Sasuke"
"Arigatou for accepting my challenge" Lee said, taking a stance. "I want to test my techniques against the offspring of the genius ninja clan, also," Trailing off, Lee looked towards the Haruno, a blush adorning his cheeks.
'Oh no…oh no…ohnononononono!'
"Will you go out with me? I swear I shall protect you with my life!" The green ninja gave her a thumbs up, and a wink, his teeth glinting oddly despite the lack of sufficient lighting.
"No"
'Come near this body with that freaky face and I'll force feed you your own haircut!'
"…I see" Lee said, somewhat dejectedly.
'I have lost this round, but that only makes my heart burn more brightly for next time!'
Sasuke snorted, "Challenging me, knowing the Uchiha name…frankly you're a fool. I'll show you, the power behind that name"
"Please, shall we begin?" Lee asked, resuming his stance. Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly stopped, his nose twitching.
'That's…that is…what is that smell? It's smells familiar…' As Naruto pondered over his new discovery, Sakura happened to glance at a nearby clock on the wall.
"Sasuke-kun, matte! We only have Thirty minutes to go, we have to hurry"
"I assure," The Uchiha said, smirking confidently. "This will take less than five" Before he'd even finished talking, he was already making his move, dashing towards his opponent at breakneck speed.
'He is fast…but…I'm faster, gomennesai Gai-sensei, I may have to use that move' As the Uchiha approached him, Lee suddenly blurred before he seemingly vanished.
"What? Where?" He almost missed the blur of green as the bowl-haired youth appeared above him.
"Konoha Senpuu!!" As the kick came his way Sasuke almost panicked
'Kuso! To fast to doge, block!' Quickly bringing his arms up to guard, everyone was astonished as the rookie of the year was sent sprawling by the kick, impacting upon the floorboards painfully.
"S-Sasuke-kun!"
'What!? But I had blocked it, was sort of technique was that?'
"Hmph, I don't know what technique you just used, but it doesn't matter, all your secrets will be revealed to me now" Sasuke said haughtily, as he picked himself up of the floor. His black eyes having turned blood red, a pair of tome in each.
'Alright, now that Sasuke-kun's using his Sharingan he can't lose'
'Shannaro! Kick that thick-browed freaks ass!'
"So, that is the Sharingan…but!" As the green-clad ninja moved again, Sasuke smirked.
'Fool, I can see your every movement as if in slow-motion, victory is-!' The Uchiha was brought out of his glory by a sudden, and violent kick the chin, sending him into the air.
'Wh-what? My body…it couldn't-'
"That's right, there is no trick to it. My movements are nothing but pure, refined speed. Konoha Kage Buyou!" Lee cried, leaping from the ground to beneath the airborne Uchiha, almost as if he were his shadow.
"Allow me to point out a flaw in your prized Doujutsu, Sasuke-kun. Even if you can follow my movements, if your body cannot match my speed then your red eyes are useless" As he spoke, the bandages on Lee's arms began to unravel, "You may be a genius, born of a genius clan, and taught by a genius, but I shall show you, that my skills earned from hard-work can surpass you!"
Just as he began to move his arms, Lee's technique was suddenly stopped, an idly rotating pinwheel flying through the air and nailing one of his bandages to a wall.
'That's-!'
"That's enough Lee" Everyone turned to face the newcomer, a rather craggy looking red turtle, with spirals painted onto each segment of its shell, and a Konoha hitai-ate around its neck.
"Uwaah!" As Lee reached the literal 'end of the line', he was suddenly jerked backwards, leaving Sasuke to his fate.
"Sasuke-kun!" With a cry, Sakura dived over, barley catching the dark-haired youth before he hit the ground.
"You were watching" Lee muttered darkly, his eyes downcast in shame.
"Lee, you know that technique is forbidden"
'What the hells a turtle doing here? I didn't think any left Mizu no Kuni, specially this time of year' Naruto absentmindedly scratched his chin as he pondered, watching as the red reptile scolded the Genin.
"I…I wasn't going to use the other one…" The boy offered feebly.
"You fool! You know what it means for a Shinobi to reveal his techniques"
"Hai! I am prepared!"
"Then here comes Gai-Sensei!" There was a poof of smoke, and a new ninja appeared atop the turtle.
'Going by his flak jacket he's most likely that Lee kid's Jounin-sensei'
"Haha! You kids are definitely living in the Springtime of Youth!!" The newcomer all but shouted. The smoke cleared to reveal a man in his mid-twenties, wearing an outfit identical to the Genin in front of him, but without the bandages on his arm. His hair was also identical, but his eyebrows were even more outrageous than his apparent student's. The man grinned, and gave a thumbs up, his pearly-white teeth giving off a glint even brighter than his student's.
"!"
'Where? Where do these freaks keep coming from?'
"!!"
'The eyebrows. The Eyebrows. THE EYEBROWS!!!!'
"Whoa!!"
'…That spandex looks kinda comfy-ttebayo'
The members of Team Seven stood there, flabbergasted by the unnatural presence of the mysterious 'Gai-Sensei', excluding Naruto who was stroking his chin thoughtfully.
"Lee…" Gai said, his eyes boring into his student's
"Gai-sensei…" The Genin replied, hesitantly.
"Lee…you fool!" He cried, suddenly punching his student vehemently, sending him sprawling across the floor. As Lee picked himself up off the floor, the side of his face already starting to swell, he gazed at his sensei, tears streaming openly down each other's faces.
'To cry so openly like that…they must be truly close…' Naruto mused, his hand subconsciously reaching for his cheek.
"Sensei.. I…I…" The boy's stammering was interrupted as the elder man suddenly embraced him in an enormous bear hug.
"That's enough Lee, you've already said it"
"Sensei!" The boy cried out, returning the hug. As the two embraced, waves could be seen crashing behind them as the sun set dramatically, causing them to almost glow with fervor.
Naruto had an odd look in his eye, while Sakura and Sasuke were both sweating profusely, contemplating their urge to head for the hills.
"Yosh!! This is what Youth is all about!"
"Sensei!!"
"Hehe, That's some good stuff-ttebayo" Naruto grinned, pointing at the hugging pair.
'I wonder what it would take to get Kakashi to give out hugs like that…maybe if I got some porn for him'
"No-way!!! Too dangerous!!! Way too dangerous!!!" Sakura cried out belatedly.
'If that were Sasuke and a guy who was hot however…'
'No, I'm not like that!!'
'I…I can't believe I lost to that' Sasuke thought, torn between crying out in anguish and vomiting up everything he'd ever eaten.
"Lee, it's alright. Mistakes and Youth have always gone together" Gai said, breaking the hug and placing his hand on his student's shoulder.
"Sensei…your too kind" Lee replied as the pair stood up.
"However, you did start a fight, and you almost broke my rules. Your punishment…will be dealt after the exams!"
"Ossu!"
"Five-Hundred Laps Around The Practice Range!!" Gai proclaimed, striking his fist into the air.
"OSSU!!" Lee replied, his eyes set aflame by his zeal.
"…"
"Are they retarded?"
"So who's the funky turtle with the awesome shell-ttebayo?" Naruto demanded, pointing towards the spiral marked reptile.
At the sound of the blonde's voice, Gai turned to look at them.
'These kids…so they're Kakashi's…'
"Naruto-Baka, he's looking this way!" Sakura cried, while Sasuke did a very good impression of being invisible.
"You guys! How's Kakashi doing?" The Jounin asked, his hand on his hip.
"Eh? You know Kakashi-sensei?"
"'Know him'? Hehe," Gai chucked as he stroked his chin ambiguously. As the trio stared at the man, waiting for him to continue, they happened to blink, only to lose sight of him.
"People refer to us as 'Eternal Rivals'!" Gai said from behind the three, causing them to jump with shock.
'No way…his speed…it's faster than Kakashi's'
"50 wins, 49 losses. I'm stronger than Kakashi by a long shot" Gai grinned, gesturing to himself with his thumb.
"See!? Gai-sensei is incredible!"
"I apologize about Lee, I swear to this Beautiful face that it won't happen again" He said, giving a thumbs up to seal the oath.
'He's not afraid to man-hug, swears upon things you can actually take away, and can kick Kakashi-sensei's ass? This guy's AWESOME!!'
'He is superior to the half-thief, you should learn from him'
'Nah, I think his everything's already been given to that Lee kid…'
"You guys and Lee should head over to the classroom," Gai said, releasing Lee's bandages with a well-aimed kunai. As the boy began re-wrapping his hands, Naruto caught sight of them, causing him to almost gasp. The skin marred, scarred, and torn all across. The blonde wouldn't be surprised if his skin could stop solid steel given the chance.
'So that's what that smell was'
"Good luck Lee, farewell!" Gai proclaimed, before vanishing in a Shunshin.
"Ossu" Le replied, before tying the ends of his bandages back into his wrists. "Sasuke-kun, I feel I should warn you. I am the second strongest Genin from Konoha, the strongest, is on my team. Both you and he, are people I have set my sights on. Prepare yourself!" After issuing his warning, lee leapt back up top the balcony, disappearing from sight.
'That guy…'Sasuke scowled as the boy left, his hands clenching in frustration.
"Sasuke-kun…"
"Huh…So much for the glorious Uchiha…" Naruto said snidely.
"Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed
"Sh-Shut up, I'll beat him next time"
"Nah, the way you are now, you'll just get your ass kicked."
"Why you…!"
"Y'know, the moment I saw him, I smelt something…you know what it was?"
"?"
"It was a…unique concoction…a combination of blood, sweat, and tears, soaked into every fiber of his clothing, into his skin, I'm sure even his bones."
"What are you getting at Dobe?"
"I didn't realize at first, but then I saw his hands…then I realized. That guy, he's fought and broken and beaten, and trained, sending himself beyond breaking point time and time again. He does not train casually. Uchiha Sasuke, you lost because compared to him, you're the laziest slob on the face of the planet. Hell, he probably makes me look bad. To beat a guy like that…you got to train yourself as though you where about to die…that's all there is…"
The Uchiha glanced downwards, before unclenching his fists.
'Sounds like fun…'
"This is getting fun…this Chuunin exams…"
"All Right!"
"Shall we go? Naruto? Sakura?"
"Yeah…"
"Hell Yeah!" The three grinned, before making their way onwards.
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"Ah…took you long enough" Kakashi sighed as the trio approached room 301.
"Hey Shaddup! We got distracted by that friend of yours"
"What friend?"
"He called himself 'Gai' or something"
"Hmm? I don't know anyone who calls themselves that" The one-eyed Nin smiled carelessly.
"But he…you…ah screw you Sensei" Naruto scowled.
"Indeed, so, are you going on or not?" Kakashi smiled again, stepping away from the door.
"Hell yeah!!"
XXXX
As Team Seven walked through the door, they were surprised by what they saw.
The whole room was completely filled with Genin, some looking as old as near twenty, but very few around their age group.
'Are they all taking the exam? They all look so strong…' Sakura twiddled her fingers nervously.
'Shannaro! Just look at me funny and I'll kill you all!!'
"Sasuke-kun! Your late!" a distinctly 'girly' voice cried out, before latching itself onto the last Uchiha, revealing its true-form of a blonde girl, wearing a pony-tail and purple clothes, with wide, blue eyes.
"I haven't seen you in sooo long, I've been waiting in excitement" Ino proclaimed, completely unaware of the distress signals being given off by the Uchiha.
'No subtlety, if you wanna seduce a guy like the Teme you can't let him know your true goals, and sake, you'll definitely need lots of sake…or blackmail, lots of blackmail.' Naruto nodded sagely.
"Get away from Sasuke-kun, Ino-Bunta!"
'Back, foul demon! He's mine!!'
"Well if it isn't Sakura…big forehead as usual…"
"What did you say?!"
'That's it. Bitch dies!'
"Tch, are you guys taking this test to? Mendoukusai…" Shikamaru muttered, wandering over to retrieve his wayward teammate, his 'big-boned' friend happily munching from a bag of chips by his side.
"Oh look, it's the three stooges!!" Naruto said sarcastically.
"Don't call us that…" The Nara boy scowled, his hands in his pockets.
"Sasuke-kun is mine! Bleh!!" Ino chided, making a face at her pink-haired rival.
"Yahoo! There you guys are!!" A rather energetic voice cried out over the crowd. The group turned to look at the owner, one Inuzuka Kiba, with his teammates, and their unofficial team mascot atop his head.
"K-konbanha…" Hinata stuttered. At the sight of his pale-eyed 'friend' A grin suddenly found itself upon his face.
'All-right! Hinata-Chan made it! This is great…I could just…no! No! Bad fox! I'm NOT a common dog, I will NOT wag my tail Dammit!'
"Hehe, looks like everyone's here," Kiba laughed. "All nine of the rookie Genin…I wonder how far we'll get, eh? Sasuke-kun?" The dog-Nin asked tauntingly,
"Pfft, you seem confident" The Uchiha retorted.
"Hehe, yeah! We did a lot of training, we won't lose to the likes of you guys!" Kiba laughed. Naruto was about to jump in when suddenly he saw Kiba do something. Something unforgivable. Something he knew, then and there, that the rowdy Genin would pay for with his blood. He slung his arm around Hinata's neck!
'Hand contact, skin on skin, Hinata's neck…the neck…that spot…' The Fox-Nin narrowed his eyes as he observed the situation, taking not of the shy girls obvious discomfort at the 'friendly' contact. He clenched his fist, his claws digging into his palm unnoticed by all.
"I'd watch myself mutt," The blonde said coldly. "There are some foes that no amount of training can truly prepare you for" Half-a-dozen heads glanced at Naruto, put off guard by his unusually quietresponse.
"Gomen, Naruto-kun, K-Kiba-kun didn't mean it in t-that way" Hinata apologized, hesitant at experiencing such a reaction from the blonde.
"Ah, hey. No need to apologize for the mutt, Hinata-Chan. He can speak human now" Naruto jested, scratching the back of his head as he grinned. A brief movement caught his eye, and he turned to glance at Team ten's third member, Aburame Shino.
'Oh, he's that guy who always smells of bugs, soil…and a lot of chakra…he never really says much…meh, not my type of guy' He dismissed, noticing out of the corner of his eye as Hinata subtly stepped to the side, forcing Kiba to relinquish his grip.
'Score one for the Uzumaki, hell yeah!'
"Tch, you guys should be more quiet," A voice said, before walking over. He was a boy of about fifteen, with silver hair tied into a ponytail, glasses, and a Konoha Hitai-ate on his forehead.
"You guys are rookies just out of the academy, correct? Screaming like school girls, you're not in the academy anymore." The senior Genin chided.
"Bah, who do you think you are?" Ino demanded.
"Me? I'm Kabuto, but instead of that look around"
"Huh?" As the group glanced around they were faced with the gaze of countless icy-cold stares as the other participants glared at them.
"Everyone is nervous, and the presence of rookies makes them feel self-conscious. Heh, you remind me of how I used to me"
"Ano, Kabuto-san? So that means this is your second time?" Sakura asked, somewhat hesitantly.
"No, my seventh. These exams are held twice a year so this is my fourth year".
"Oh, so you know a lot about this exam?"
"Man…it must be really tough…seven times?"
"Tell you what, why don't I give you a few tips, with my 'Ninja Info Cards'" Kabuto smirked, whipping out a pack of orange-backed cards.
"Your what?" Naruto asked, staring at the cards in confusion.
"Oh yes, my 'Ninja Info Cards'"
"Yeah but…what are they?"
"Well, they are basically a means of storing information, my 'Ninja Info Cards'"
"…I don't get it" The blonde asked, dead-panning.
"They look blank, but to open these 'Ninja Info Cards', its just a simple matter of applying my chakra. Four years of info at the touch of a finger" The glasses wearing Nin answered, placing a card on the ground as the others knelt around it.
"Oh, like seals. Why didn't you say?"
"Baka! Do you have cards on individuals?" Sasuke asked.
"Oho? Someone your worried about?"
Ignoring his remark, the Uchiha spoke anyway. "Rock Lee, of Konoha"
"Sabaku no Gaara, of Suna" Naruto added, earning him an odd look from his teammates.
'Who? I didn't see anyone like that'
'Might as well see how my Itoko's done so far' Naruto grinned.
"Oh, you know their names? That makes it much easier, with my 'Ninja Info Cards'" Kabuto smirked, before swiping two cards from the deck and placing them on the ground.
"Hurry up"
"Ok, first up is Rock Lee," Kabuto said, reading off the card that now bore the likeness of the spandex clad Genin from before. "He's a year older than you guys, he's completed 20 d-rank missions, and twelve c-rank. His Jounin Sensei is Maito Gai, he excels at Taijutsu, and is accomplished with tools, but that's about it. He gained a reputation as a talented new Genin last year but did not compete. His teammates are Hyuuga Neji, and Sogekihei Tenten."
"Oh, that must be Tenshin's daughter, I think I've seen her…wait Neji?" Naruto suddenly asked, an odd look on his face.
"Yes, why?"
"Oh, nothing" He said, glancing at Hinata's nervous form across from him.
'Hyuuga Neji…that guy…the 'Genius of the Branch-family'…a guy like him…'
"Okay then, next is Sabaku no Gaara" Kabuto said, straightening his glasses before tapping the other card. "He's done an unknown number of d-rank missions, 8 c-rank, and 1 b-rank…wow, a B-rank as a Genin? Since he's new, and foreign, I don't have much information on him, but he reputedly carries a large gourd everywhere, and has supposedly returned from all his missions without a scratch" The gray-haired Genin finished. Glancing up at the group's nervous faces.
"…hey Teme…"
"What?"
"That mission to Nami…did we have any scratches when we came back?" Naruto asked ambiguously.
"No…no we didn't…" Sasuke replied, getting the subtle message of encouragement.
'Of course, all of our wounds had healed long before we went back, but still…we can boast the same...'
"Of course, not just these two, but all the representatives from the villages were sent here because they are believed to possess the skill and wit to become Chuunin. In other words, they're all the elite of the elite amongst Genin" Kabuto smirked, a dangerous glint in his eye.
"You say that…but then…why do they all smell so strongly of fear?" Naruto asked, tilting his head to the side. Before the glasses-wearing Nin could answer, several audible 'poofs' could be heard from the front of the classroom.
"All right ladies, button up! The first part of the exam is about to begin" A gruff, aggressive voice barked. From the smoke emerged a tall man, wearing a bandana and a rather intimidating trench coat, his face marred with two diagonal scars. Behind him stood a dozen or so Konoha Shinobi, each wearing the uniform of an examiner.
"Let me just say here and now; I am Morino Ibiki, proctor of the first exam, and from hereon in, my word is Law!" He barked, sending a ripple of tremors throughout the crowd.
"Now then, each of you come up and grab a number, that'll be were you sitting. We will then hand out the exams," Ibiki said, gesturing to an examiner to his side holding a bundle of papers.
"Ah…I see…of course…a written exam!?!?" The orange-clad ninja all but exploded.
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"There are many important rules to this exam. I'll write them on the board while I explain but No Questions!" Ibiki barked, before picking u a piece of chalk.
'No questions? What kind of ane exam is this?' Sakura thought to herself.
"This test is made up of ten question, each question you get right is a point, and each question you get wrong is minus a point. You start of with ten points, and if you run out of points you fail the exam."
'So…all wrong and your out'
"Next, this is a team exam. If one person fails, then both of his or her teammates fail with them."
"What? But why-" A Genin spoke up.
"Did I say you could talk? No? Then shut up before I disqualify you for wasting examiner's time" Ibiki growled, before returning to the board.
"Finally, anyone caught cheating by an examiner, will be deducted 2 points for every offence. As Shinobi trying to become Chuunin, show some pride. You who get caught are just destroying yourselves"
"…"
'We are so freaking screwed…'
"You have one hour, begin!"
A chorus of paper rustling could be heard as the Genin turned their paper over. Within seconds the telltale sound of scribbling could be heard throughout the room.
'It's okay…as long as Naruto doesn't get zero points we'll be fine' Sakura sighed, before looking at her own paper.
'Okay…calm down…find your happy place…'
'Procure offspring!!!'
'…not too happy…focus! You can do this if you only focus…lets see…the first is…a cryptogram…' Naruto face-planted as his brain failed pathetically to make sense of the jumble of Kanji before him.
'Kuso! It looks like Naruto's losing it already. Ugh, forget him. I need to focus on my own problems. Lets see, No.2; Line B., shown in the picture, is the greatest possible distance a Shinobi can throw his shuriken from a tree of 7y meters. For enemies who appear within the circumference of the shuriken's range, explain the attack options using this distance. Show all working…Fuck, Naruto's boned…at least I can do it' Sakura let out a belated sigh before getting to work.
'Okay…it is physically impossible for me to answer a single one of these questions…I, for one, blame Tsuku-sama. Uragh! I can't even cheat if I wanted to, Kage-Bunshin would be way to obvious. Same with Katachi Koutai no Jutsu, it's daytime so all my Kitsunepou are useless, ugh." He let out a muffled groan, rubbing his temples furiously. Out the corner of his eye he noticed his teammates working furiously, he also noticed a slight red tinge to Sasuke's eyes, obscured by his hair.
'Teme's cheating already! Don't rub it in Teme! Okay, calm down. You need to think this through. Look beneath the Underneath, as Kakashi-sensei always says.' As Naruto's mind whirred, his fingers began tapping on his desk,
'Du-dun, du-dun, du-dun-dun-dun. Du-dun, du-dun, du-dun-dun-dun. Du-dun, du-dun, du-dun-dun-dun.' As the beat sun around and around in his head, he felt his panic fading, all his surface thoughts evaporating into the depths of his mind, leaving only a single, direct train of thought.
'We start of with ten points…teams points combined…team starts with thirty points…perfect score of sixty points…questions freaking impossible…everyone is cheating to get the answers…those who get caught lose two points…those who aren't caught…say teammates get perfect score…that's forty points there…add my score…that's fifty…almost perfect already…leave the page blank…' As his thoughts came to a steamy conclusion a feral grin broke out onto the blonde's face, the same kind of grin a predator gets when it's cornered its prey and broken its legs, a grin that guaranteed the success of the wearer.
'Tch, cocky brat…I wonder if I should deduct some points just for that?' Ibiki pondered, glancing at the blonde. 'Well he looks like an idiot anyway, he probably won't pass this last question. Just about all the stragglers have left too, so I might as well wrap things up.'
"And now, we will begin the tenth Question" The Examiner said, morbidly, causing many of those remaining to gulp nervously.
"Now then, I would just like to go over some added rules for this tenth question. These are…the rules of desperation. For you must choose whether to take this question or not"
"What!? What happens if we don't take the question?"
"Then you, along with you teammates, fail the entire exam"
"What kind of a joke is this? Of course we choose to accept it!"
"But if you do accept, and get the question wrong, then that person loses the right to ever even attempt the Chuunin exam ever again"
"That's Bullshit! There's guys who've taken this exam before!" Kiba shouted.
"Hehe, you guys just got unlucky. They didn't have me as an examiner last time. They're playing by my rules now. Of course, you can always just bail, and try again in six months time, maybe you won't get me next year?" Ibiki offered.
'Kuso, if I choose and get it wrong, I'm doomed for life. If I refuse, we all fail!'
"Those who wish to give up raise your hand"
'Damn it, he's looking down on me! I hate it when people look down on me! This situation…it seems familiar…'
"I…I won't take it!!" A Genin proclaimed, bowing his head in shame." I…I'm sorry"
"Me too!"
"And me!"
"Kindly escort these cautious people off the premises," Ibiki ordered calmly.
'These guys…they're practically sacrificing their own teammates because their afraid of worse happening to them…how despicable…reminds me of Nami…'
As several more people made their way out, profusely apologizing to their teammates, Naruto made his decision. Slowly at first, he raised his hand.
'N-Naruto? Why?'
'That fool…I guess he panicked after all…so much for-'
"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME! I'M NOT THE KIND OF SCUM THAT ABANDONS HIS TEAM!!!" He roared, slamming his fist down onto his desk, sending splinters into the air.
"WHATEVER YOU THROW AT ME, I CAN TAKE IT! I WON'T BACK DOWN!!! RANK MEANS NEXT TO NOTHING!!!!" The room was full of wide eyes, as his declaration washed over them, his words sinking in to everyone's minds.
'He's willing to sacrifice himself for his teammates eh? Well at least he's got guts, but guts won't keep you alive all the time'
"I'll ask you again, your life is riding on this decision. This is your last chance to quit." Ibiki warned, a menacing grin upon his face.
"I follow my unyielding words, regret nothing. That is my Nindo." The blonde proclaimed brashly.
As the seconds passed, not a single hand was raised, each Genin sporting a confident grin mimicking the Uzumaki's.
'That kid…he just about blasted everyone's worries away…78? That's more than I expected. No point stretching it out though,'
"To those of you still here, I congratulate you on passing the first test!" The interrogator suddenly proclaimed, stunning everyone in the room.
"You-wah??"
"But…the tenth question…?"
"There was no tenth question. Or rather, you could say that 'yes, I'll stay', or 'No, I'll leave' where the options, with yes being the correct answer." He explained, a disturbingly pleasant grin o his face, instead of hi earlier, intimidating one.
"But then, the first nine question were pointless!!"
"Not at all, they allowed us to grade your capability to gather, and discern information. This whole test was designed to apply pressure to you, by placing the fate of your teammates in your hands, by demanding answers you didn't know and threatening punishment of you, and your team if you didn't give them, or tried to discover them for yourself. Of course, within this exam we placed several 'moles', Chuunin in disguise that already knew all the answers for you to attempt to cheat off. Of course, those who cheat poorly…" The man trailed off, as his hand reached up, untying his bandana, revealing the gruesome flesh beneath. "Because sometimes, information is more valuable than life. And on the battlefield there are those who risk their life to obtain it."
'Horrible burns, screw-holes, scars…he's been tortured…quite some time ago'
"I want you to remember this, Information can be a powerful weapon, for your comrades, and for your village. So we had you cheat to discern who had the right abilities." The interrogator smiled, cheerfully, as he replaced his bandana.
'This guy…he's completely insane…and awesome!' Naruto could help but grin at the man's contrasting personalities.' He's like the ultimate actor…I wonder if he can give me some tips?'
"But I don't understand the final question"
"Ah, the tenth question. That's the true purpose of this test. The 'take it' or 'not take it' decision. Let me put it this way; say you guys become Chuunin. Your mission is to steal a secret document. The number of enemy ninja, their abilities, etc, all unknown. And of course, they may be traps or who knows what lying in wait for you. Now, do you accept, or not accept? Because you didn't want to die, because you didn't want you comrades' hurt, can you avoid the dangerous mission? No! To be courageous, to survive any hardship, those are the qualities looked for in a Chuunin. Those who hesitate, who say 'there's always next year'…are cowardly pieces of trash! But to the rest of you, congratulations on completing the first part of the exam. I wish you all luck-"
Before Ibiki could say anything further, a whirl of brown and tan came crashing through a nearby window, glass shard flying everywhere. As the blur came to a stop in front of Ibiki, it launched a air of Kunai into the ceiling, erecting an ornate banner behind it.
"Holy Mother of Ramen!!"
As the banner unfurled it revealed a name, and instructions, most of which obscured by the woman standing in front of it. She wore fishnet-chain mail, covered by a heavy brown trench coat, and wore a dark brown miniskirt. Her dark hair was tied into a wide spike behind her head, and she had a cheeky grin on her face.
"This is no time to be celebrating! I am Mitarashi Anko, Proctor of the second stage of the Chuunin exam. Now lets go, follow me!!" She proclaimed, thrusting her arm up into the air.
"…bad timing" Ibiki muttered from behind the banner, causing the bizarre woman to pout.
'This examiner is Naruto-ish' Sakura thought glumly. Meanwhile, the blonde in question had start in his eyes, and was halfway towards jumping out of his seat and stealing some adoption papers.
'Mother, sister, landlady, roommate, maid, No.2 in a harem, I don't care where I want this woman in my life! I wonder if I could convince Hinata to…'
'Show them the pleasures a woman can give, then introduce them to each other, include sake'
Anko glanced over the room, before glowering at Ibiki.
"78? You left 26 teams?"
"What can I say, they're a wild bunch" The gruff man shrugged, clearly used to the Tokubetsu Jounin's antics.
"Pfft, whatever. I'll see to it that less than half remain by the end of this one. To the next area!" She proclaimed, before marching out the door. "Ah, I'm getting excited" She moaned, suddenly, before continuing her march.
'…why is everyone so much cooler than Kakashi-sensei?' Naruto pouted, as he moved along.
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As Ibiki collected the papers he noticed something odd about the one he'd just picked up.
"A blank test? Who…?" As he glanced at the name he was only half-surprised as he read the name of the obnoxious blonde from the end.
"Hmm…no, wait, he answered one of them. Q.10 'Yes'…."
'He was quite literally bluffing with no hand…and he got everyone around him to believe that bluff, and not even question it…to boost morale like that…he'd make a fearsome leader to fight against…Uzumaki...Naruto...'
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Hanakotoba- the Japanese language of flowers
Konoha Senpuu- Leaf Whirlwind
Konoha Kage Buyou- Leaf Shadow Dance
Doujutsu-eye technique
Konbanha-good afternoon
Nami-wave
Mizu-water
Kuni-country
A/N: FYI Carnations symbolize disappointment in Hanakotoba,
Yeah…Naruto-Abridged is funny…provided you don't mind Sakura-bashing, and the occasional lame one. On the other hand…LOG-ed!!!.
So, that's the whole first exam in a single chapter…good decision? Bad decision? I need feedback here people!