Dedicated to: Albinoeyes- You're brilliant to talk to, endured my stupid internet, always make me laugh, and even ventured out into the blinding whiteness of the Tundra just to get me a snow pic :D
Author's Note: Hello! I won't bore you with why this is a little late ;P Big thanks to everyone who's reviewed, is reading, or who has favourited me xxxx
Disclaimer: I do not own the Boosh, my friends.
Warnings: There's probably language
One minute she was fine, and then she wasn't.
The next minute she was crying.
Then she was shouting.
Then she felt sick/was sick, then she was throwing plates at his head.
There were marks and bruises all over his body, four scratches down the side of his neck, and his nerves were absolutely shot through. He noticed that his hands were shaking ridiculously as he poured her a glass of water. He carried it over to the bedroom where she sat in floods of tears and hoped to high heaven that he didn't spill any on her; he didn't think he could take another injury.
She snatched the glass from him and spilled some of it over herself, and so he had to stand there and listen whilst she screamed and shouted at him, reminding him of how useless and stupid and he was, once again, and when she sprang up and slapped him across the face before dragging her nails down his bare forearms and over the already raw skin of his wrists, he let her, because it was just so much easier to let her. He probably deserved it, didn't he?
He waited until she was asleep. She slept a lot lately. Then, he rifled through the drawers in the bedroom, turned the flat upside down until he found his phone, threw the essentials into his suitcase and walked straight out of the door.
He only realised what he was doing several minutes later when he snapped a little out of the reverie she had put him into and looked around the streets, realising he had no idea where he was going.
"Oi," A youthful voice suddenly lamented behind him.
Oh God, what now? "Look," he said, turning around reluctantly, flinching away instinctively, "It's getting dark, I- I have somewhere to be…"
"Don't look like you've got somewhere to be though," It was a teenage girl, a teenage girl that in Howard's opinion looked far too young to be out on the street in the approaching dark, "Are you alright?" she suddenly asked raising an eyebrow and stuffing her hands into the pockets of her stylish red and black jacket.
Howard mentally insulted himself when he felt tears spring to his eyes; he couldn't help it, she had big emotive blue eyes like Vince's, that bored right through your soul and made you want to pour your heart out.
"I- I'm fine," he said, not unkindly, "But… shouldn't you be with your parents?"
She laughed then, a big wide grin brightening her face, "You berk-off, how old d'you think I am?"
"Oh," Howard blushed and flinched again, "I- I'm sorry, I thought…."
"S'alright," She muttered, "I get that a lot. I'm actually twenty-seven,"
"Oh!" Howard grinned nervously at her, "s- sorry…"
"Yeah, age never really caught up with me," She told him, "But I'm sure it will one day, and I'll go all saggy like one of them dogs with all the folds,"
She sighed, but Howard burst into laughter that surprised even him.
"I'm sorry!" he was flinching again, just in case, "It's just you really remind me of my best-friend…"
She grinned reassuringly "Who that then?"
"Oh, Vince. Vince Noir,"
"Whoa, seriously, you're best mates with Vince Noir?" Her eyes widened even further.
Howard smiled, "Yeah… haven't seen him in a while though,"
"That is well cool. Look…" she had been carrying a fashion and music magazine under her arm and she handed it to him, "He's my idol. Don't fancy him or anything, but… I just feel sort of connected to him. Had my hair like his once, till it got too long,"
Howard speed-read the article about Vince and his band without a word.
"And if you want something even more up-to-date…" the young woman took out a flashy phone and began jabbing at seemingly random buttons to Howard.
"Don't have parents anyway," she muttered as she continued to fiddle around with the phone, "grew up in some pretty weird places, me…"
A few moments later she triumphantly thrust the phone towards Howard, "Ah-ha!"
Howard found himself peering at an internet page.
"Take it, take it," she waved the mobile at him, "have a look; he updates this all the time, says all weird things and about what the band are up to as well. Press that button there to scroll the page down…"
Howard read through the updates:
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Tuesday at 10:00pm): There's 10 other Vince Noir's on here. Bit out of order that xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Wednesdayat 2:00am) Kestrel the great spread his wings to fly, but there was only a calm breeze so he had to walk.
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Wednesdayat 2:30am) We have drunk the mini-bar.
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Wednesdayat 7:00pm) So knackered. Legs are gonna drop off or snap like a Wheeto.
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Wednesdayat 7:31pm) to: I_Love_Vince_Noir
Have u tried Root Boost 60? Don't get the cheep 1 tho get the 1 that's €30. WELL worth it xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Wednesdayat 9:00pm) Came out of gig to find chavs waiting to mash me up so I introduced them to my band mate Roxx and our security bloke who's even taller than my best mate. Was funny xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Wednesdayat 9:05pm) to: Katie_The_Strange
Haha! Will leave in an envelope next time and post myself to the hotel. Will be easier, tbh xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Wednesdayat 9:06pm) to: Katie_The_Strange
Genius. Lovin' your eyes in new pic. Will try and say hi but I will be backstage mostly xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Wednesdayat 11:59pm) The nymph stares at me in my sleep. I wake up to find its icy fingers in my hair like Jack Frost's gloves.
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Thursdayat 1:00am) Great set, but tired an injured and my clothes are ripped which is not on. You are all lovely but if you want a hug just ask, don't grab please! Xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Thursdayat 10:00pm) Genius! Madness all day. Fell off stage but was caught by crowd and it transformed into a stage dive. To the people that caught me, cheers! Will be attempting more in the future xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Friday at 9:00am) Really don't feel like it today.
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Fridayat 10:00am) People coming to the late signing on Saturday, if you want me to draw you stuff, be at the back I will do it last cos security blokes will moan at me xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Fridayat 1:00pm) To the millions of interviewers that find it so important, yes I swing both ways.
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Fridayat 2:30pm) Am really needing a break today. Missing the person I love, as always. Miss the Zooniverse times xxxx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Fridayat 3:00pm) to: LeroyZero
Didn't expect you to have seen him anyway. Will see you when I finally get back in Dalston and give you them CDs mate! X
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Friday at 12:00am) Drunk. Miss you miss you miss you miss you miss you miss you so much xxxx Have been to Leeds now and seen all the wheelbarras
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Fridayat 12:01am) Ignore my drunken ramblings xx
VincexxObsidianxxNoir (Todayat 9:00am) Late signing in Waterstones from 7:00pm xx Will be doing a little talky thing in the Oeuvre afterwards, if you're coming to that. €5 xx
Howard suddenly knew what to do.
"I didn't catch your name," he said, before he handed back the phone and prepared to charge off down the street as a Man of Action would.
"It's Laure," she laughed.
"Laure, I mean it, thanks so much!"
She just grinned that Vince Noir grin again.
Xxx
The signing was taking place in the huge local Waterstones, seeing as the hotel had adamantly refused to set up a venue inside feeling they'd had to deal with enough shenanigans already. Apparently they were going to be there until twelve at night because of some crazy thing someone wanted them to do that Vince knew hardly anything about. Vince was alarmed and slightly horrified, albeit in a good way, by how popular they were; there were screaming fans trying to attach themselves to him, which wasn't unusual, but it was the way it was happening; they would come up to the table for their autograph all shaky and red-faced, trying to act cool to impress him, pretending it was their sister/boyfriend/brother/friends who had dragged them there, when afterwards they quite clearly ran away smitten and giving little squeals of delight.
The place was filled with the sound of hundreds of voices all mingled into one large excited babble punctuated by the occasional squeak of delight and the click and flash of a camera combined with the almost constant gruff sound of security telling people to 'stand back' and 'go over there' and 'get behind the line!' or 'let go of him! Move along! No you can't!'
"How many more people are there?" Vince asked security as he finished drawing a speed-sketch of Charlie Bubblegum onto someone's bag, trying to sound causal.
"Can't see the end of the line," Kaine whispered to him.
"About another hundred," was security's response.
"Really?" Vince tried not to sound disheartened. It was just so hard to keep up the sunshine when sometimes just having someone smile at you made you want to cry. He really did need to see Howard now.
"Hello, make it out to who? Sure," Nowé, mid signing, turned to Vince, "There'll be even more at the venue afterwards,"
Vince suddenly found himself wondering what would happen if he ran. Right now, if he just got up and ran and disappeared. He looked down at the table and the array of pens that kept appearing from nowhere.
A slightly shaky hand suddenly hovered into view.
"Hi, who am I making it out to?" the words tumbled from his lips automatically, as he looked at the battered pens, trying to work out which ones still had ink.
"Howard Moon, if you don't mind sir. I'm a big fan of yours,"