Title: Ranma's… Husband? 21: Surprises.

Rating: Teenishhhh

Disclaimer: This is a disclaimer.

Official Pairings: Akane/Mousse, Kiyoshi/Ranma.

Pairings of Maybeness: Ryu/Kasumi (weird I am), Nabiki/OFC.

Author's notes:

I have been suffering a small amount of writer's block… especially around this story.

I find this irritating. I must apologise for not getting back to everyone who reviewed sooner… I was frustrated. So I went a bit avoidant. I suck, this I know.

I have no idea when the next part will be out. Sorry again.

Erm… I have also been working on my dialogue style…

I realised, the other day, that this is the fluffiest thing I have ever written. No murder, torture, cannibalism, stalking, serial killers, etc… weird.

Um… Ah yes!

Notes on Fashion:

I'm trying to stick to vaguely time appropriate clothing… thus do not expect incredible tight low-rise jeans, or any of the other strange fashion statements of our current age.

Things That Might Make You Want to Jump Ship:

I don't like Shampoo, so she's not going to come off that well here. Shampoo's always come off way too narcissistic for my tastes. If you like Shampoo you may want to jump ship now.

Ryouga. I don't always like him either, so he's gonna have a few bad things happen. Bwa Ha Ha Ha.

Akane/Mousse. Well, Akane's going to be wearing the trousers in that relationship… so if you have a problem with that…

The story will be neither shounen ai nor het. I'm hoping to get Ranma to a point where he is comfortable with his entire self. So the gender he is at any given moment doesn't really bother him, and he'll choose whatever gender is most situation appropriate.


Other things I think should be mentioned:

1. I thought I might just mention that I don't necessarily agree with the world-views of my characters… e.g. Nodoka's gender ideology. I for one believe that gender and gender rolls are largely the constructs of society and time… that they are cultural much more than they are natural… (But I won't get into this too deeply here) I am also a feminist of the bent that feels that as a part of equal rites should be that a woman should have as much right to be as obnoxious, perverted and stupid as any man.

2. I just thought I should explicitly state that what happens in the heads of individual characters is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of the plot, or even the opinions of other characters. Reality is subjective. Reality is always subjective.

3. WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID THEY'D (Kurosawas) ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH TURNING RANMA FEMALE?

4. Yes I know that what Aiko is planning to do is pretty much as bad as what Ranma's other fiancées do. See above.

THANK YOU FOR READING. THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEW, OR HAVE REVIEWED. JUST THANK YOU.

000

(Akane's POV)

Kasumi gave her a measured look before shaking her head, "I'm sorry, but there isn't a whole lot of choice. The house has too many people living in it as it is."

She couldn't believe her sister. How could she possibly think it was a reasonable thing to do?

She took a deep breath and tried to remain calm, "He's not sleeping in the Dojou. He's just not."

Kasumi looked unimpressed, "Well it's either the Dojou or your bedroom."

"Then he can sleep in my bedroom. He's an Amazon; they're a female dominated society… it's hardly like he's going to do anything to me." She reasoned.

He sister sighed, "You'll have to deal with father when he finds out…" she warned.

She crossed her arms and gathered herself, "What can he do? Mousse is my responsibility. Now… do you know if we have another spare futon?"

Her sister studied her intently for a minute before saying, "I think there's one in the attic… I'm not sure, mind you. But if there isn't I suppose we can borrow one from somebody…" Kasumi bit her lip and sort of grimaced, "Akane… Akane are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure" she replied… even though she really, really wasn't.

Kasumi frowned at her, shook her head and went back to cleaning the bathroom floor.

She shrugged and went looking for Ranma… she'd left him in the dining room with Mousse and Kiyoshi.

His father had gone in to check on her father and Ryu was having a smoke outside the Dojou.

She found him almost where she'd left him, except he was lazing about in the sun next to Kiyoshi.

Wait…

That wasn't usual Ranma behaviour… but looking at him she found that he looked quite content, as well as quite a lot like a snoozing cat… but she wouldn't tell him that.

"Ranma, could you come and give me a hand?" she called out and smirked when he almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice.

"Akane?! You startled me!" he squawked, before blushing and rubbing the back of his head, "Yeah I'll come help, what do you want me to do?"

"There's supposed to be a spare futon in the attic… I need someone to help me find it and bring it down."

He scrunched up his face at the thought, "Ok. Sounds fun." He replied with sarcasm, getting to his feet to go with her.

They made their way to the attic in silence, and she winced when they got a good look at its contents. It didn't look as though it had been cleaned out since before her mother had died…

Ranma let out an awed whistle, "Wow… there's a whole lot of… stuff up here isn't there?"

"Yeah… well… Um… I suppose we'll just have to see if we can find it." She replied, trying to think of where the most logical place to leave a futon would be.

Carefully she walked forward and started to explore, noting that Ranma was following suite.

There seemed to be boxes everywhere and she was all but tripping over them trying to find this futon. Kasumi had said that she thought there was one in the attic, which meant that it had probably ended up there sometime not that long ago… it couldn't be too far in, could it?

"Ah ha! Akane I think I've found it." Ranma called from the other side of the attic.

She quickly hurried over and discovered Ranma, half hidden behind a stack of boxes. Ranma carefully edged his way out and pointed to where he had been. She carefully edged her way in there to take a look and found the futon rolled up and hidden behind several stacks of boxes.

She examined the boxes carefully, "it looks like we'll have to move some of this if we want to get it out."

Ranma murmured an affirmative, already moving towards the things that needed shifting.

They had almost moved enough to get the futon out when she accidentally knocked one of the boxes, which fell over and spilled baby clothes across the floor.

"Akane's baby-clothes…" Ranma read off the side of the box. "Obviously wasn't taped up properly."

"Look at them… they're so tiny. Was I ever really that small?" she whispered picking up a tiny pink bodysuit.

She knelt down and began to collect the clothes to put them back in the box.

Ranma squatted down opposite her and studied the clothing, looking somewhat disturbed by something.

He reached out and picked up a little sakura-patterned dress, "Akane… do you… do you ever think what it'd be like. You know. Having kids?"

"Hmm… I dunno. I mean, we… if we'd ever gotten married I suppose we would have ended up having children. But I never really thought about it. I suppose I didn't want to think about it."

"I don't think I'd make a good parent, you know. 'Cause, I mean, it's not like… I mean, my old man tried, I suppose… I just dunno how much of a good job he did. And I don't think I'd know how, and the kid would end up all screwed up," he murmured… was he blushing?

She thought about it for a moment, biting her lip, "I don't know Ranma. I don't think you'd do too bad a job. Considering some of the stuff that's happened to you… you have a whole lot of patience, you know. Because most people would have left long ago. Now me… I think I'd be a worse parent than you. I've got… I've got a pretty bad temper."

He gave her a sad little smirk, "Nah, Akane you'd be fine. You can be pretty compassionate in the right circumstances." She knew he meant that she could be pretty compassionate provided you weren't him.

"I suppose… I sort of want kids… now that I've thought about it. I just… I don't know. I guess I don't really fancy the idea of actually getting pregnant first."

Kids… kids would be nice. Cute. She could imagine them now… but the idea of having them growing inside of her and having to give up so many of the things she wanted to do… not so nice.

He suddenly snickered, and when she looked at him askance he smirked "I suppose you could always drag whoever you marry to Jusenkyo and dump them in the 'spring of drowned girl' before taking a swim in the 'spring of drowned boy'… that way they could have the kids."

"Ranma!" she exclaimed but found herself laughing anyway.

They shared a moment of mutual amusement before they got back to work. She efficiently packed away her baby clothes and then joined Ranma in hauling boxes.

It didn't take them long to get enough room to extract the futon, which they moved to the clear space near the ladder.

She hesitated, there was something else they should discuss before they went back where people could hear them, "You know… we're going to have to tell them at some stage."

He winced and bit his lip, averting his eyes, "I suppose… it's just, you know how they're going to react."

She sighed,"Maybe with your mother here it won't be so bad. It will severely restrict the amount of plotting they'll be able to do."

"I dunno. I don't think she'll be all that happy that you've decided not to marry me."

She winced, imagining Nodoka's reaction, "Yeah… but at least someone won't be blaming you, which is what our fathers will do."

It was all going to get messy, wasn't it?

"They'll probably try to get me to agree to marry Nabiki or Kasumi since I won't marry you." He muttered, scowling.

"You aren't interested in either of them?" she asked, but she already knew the answer.

He scrunched up his face like he smelled something unpleasant, "No. I have no intention of ending up a porn star, which is what will happen if I marry Nabiki… and Kasumi… Kasumi is sort of… I don't feel like I can talk to her or anything. She's… different. More grown up or something."

"I'm not sure Nabiki's that bad. But I get what you mean about Kasumi. Personally I don't think either of them suit you," she declared.

For a minute they just looked at each other with a sense of mutual future misery.

They sighed in unison.

She winced, "I suppose we'll have to tell them anyway. Later though. Let's give my father a chance to recover from the Mousse thing first."

She shook her head and turned her mind back to the business in hand. She knew all too well how her father would react.

"Ok… let's get this thing down." Ranma said, kicking at the futon.

"Yeah… there should be enough room in my room for it. I'm going to have to find somewhere to put Mousse's things as well…"

"Your room? You're putting Mousse in your room?" Ranma squeaked.

"Yeah… there's no room for him anywhere else." she responded, raising her eyebrow at him.

He gave her a look and shook his head, "Ok… but that's going to make everything that much more difficult."

She tried to look confident, like she knew what she was doing, "Yeah… I know. But it'll be ok."

It took a bit of manoeuvring to get the futon down from the attic, but it wasn't too hard. They climbed down after it and carried it to her room where she took off its protective covering and untied it to let it roll out.

It looked to be in good condition… in fact it didn't look like it had ever been used.

She wondered why it had been bought…

They moved it around until it was lying parallel to the bed with enough distance between them that she wouldn't accidentally stand on Mousse when she got out of bed.

She'd have to go and get some linen to make it.

As she walked to the door something occurred to her.

"Ranma, you might want to have a bath and get changed before Auntie Saotome gets back. You're a bit of a mess and I don't think she'll like what you've done to those clothes." She said.

She watched as he looked down to examine his clothing and winced. The white shorts were a horrible brown-grey colour with several grass stains and the t-shirt was covered in dust. He reached up and smoothed back his hair, pausing and extracting a twig from the dirty red mess.

"Yeah… a bath sounds like a good idea." He said, scratching the back of his head.

Ranma called out "see ya" as he left the room.

Now to find some bedding… and to try and make the bed. After all, it was usually Kasumi's job.

000

(Happosai's POV)

Panties.

Glorious panties.

Pink panties, blue panties, white panties, black panties, naughty little red panties…

He was in heaven.

He'd been up late into the night categorising the new additions to his collection…

He was so happy.

It was bliss.

He'd eventually fallen asleep face-down in a pile of thongs…

Such heavenly dreams he's had…

But now… now he had a mission.

Perhaps that cruel and wicked tyrant who had done such evil things to his silky darlings would be out and about today…

If so…

He, the mighty knight, would rescue any frail and delicate whisps of delight from the terrible fate the tyrant had in store for them.

Oh yes. Yes he would.

Feeling ridiculously energetic he bounced to his feet and began to run… soon enough he would be away from the home of his stupid students and then he'd be away. He'd be free.

Free to indulge his fantasy of a panty filled future…

000

(Mousse's POV)

He kept staring at the messily made futon… was this really his life? Was this really his future? Hadn't Akane ever made a bed before?

"Ok. So Mousse, this is my bedroom. This is where you'll be staying. Um… this is your futon." Akane said, pointing at the futon and looking uncomfortable, "We'll have to do something with your belongings… I think there's enough room for us to keep the chest in here for your weapons but we should really put your clothes in the wardrobe."

He couldn't find his voice, he felt completely choked, so he just nodded his head and bit his lip.

She sighed and opened his trunk, which she had brought up when she'd gone to get him, and started to go through his possessions. He hoped she approved of everything, because if she didn't she was allowed through whatever she wanted away.

She was mainly going through his clothes currently; taking things out, inspecting them and then putting them in several piles on the bed. Every now and then she'd scrunch up her face and say "ugh, what is this?" or "Shampoo must be totally insane" and throw whatever it was she was holding into a pile in the corner.

He found himself studying her as she worked. It wasn't that bad, he supposed. She was kind, intelligent, strong, attractive… he didn't think she would be cruel to him… so he could have done a whole lot worse. There were many girls he knew back home who wouldn't be anywhere near as considerate as she was being if they were in her shoes.

He noticed that she was blushing and when he turned to see what had her attention he found her sorting through his… his new underwear. How embarrassing.

A great flurry of lace and frills started to fly in the direction of what he took to be the rejected pile "I don't care if I'm almost broke, I'm getting you some new underwear," she muttered, half to herself.

By the time she was done it seemed that all the really ridiculous, frilly or overly feminine items that Xian Pu had bought him were lying in a pathetic pile in the corner. He looked down at the bed to discover that it was covered in not-quite-neat piles of the most practical parts of his new wardrobe.

It was… considerate. Very considerate. No, it might not be too bad… even though it meant that he would never be able to be with Xian Pu.

There was a knock on the door and when Akane called out "come in" Saotome stuck her head in the door.

Saotome scrunched up her nose at them and asked "how's it going?"

"It's ok. I've almost got everything sorted now… do you want to come in?" replied Akane.

Saotome frowned at her, "you sure that's ok?"

Akane smirked at her and said "we aren't engaged anymore. And we have a witness in case you're worried I'm going to try to do anything to you."

Wait… they weren't engaged anymore?

"Akane… was that a joke, just then?" Saotome said, with an amused smile.

Akane just smirked at her.

Saotome shook her head and walked over to them, frowning at the pile of frills in the corner.

"What's all that?" Saotome asked.

Akane rolled her eyes, "its things Shampoo bought that I don't think Mousse needs."

"Doesn't look like the sort of stuff anyone needs," said Saotome, who sat down next to Akane.

That meant that Saotome was getting a good look at his underwear. He felt himself go a bright and horrible red.

Saotome frowned at him for a second, before giving him a compassionate look. "Don't worry about it. I know what it's like when someone comes and steals all your clothes and replaces them with girl's things," she said, indicating what she was wearing.

He studied her, taking in the mint-green pedal-pushers and short-sleeved white blouse… definitely not normal Saotome clothes.

She must have noticed him looking because she sighed, scratched the back of her head and said "it's a long story… a long story that I suppose you'll have to know if you're living here. It's… my dad made this promise to my mum, years ago, that I would become 'a man amongst men' and then he left with me on a training trip… a training trip that lasted years. The end result of which was that I ended up falling into the 'spring of drowned girl'… which makes it hard to be a man amongst men.

Anyway, after the whole Jusenkyo thing we came here to Nerima, and a while ago my mum showed up looking for me and the old man. Not actually wanting to die I've been pretending to be Akane's cousin Ranko Tendou.

Which was ok, except there was an accident and part of my mother's house was destroyed by a truck, so she's now staying here. So now I'm stuck as Ranko all the time and she's taken it into her head to make me more feminine or something…"

He winced, he felt kind of sorry for Saotome.

Akane smiled at him and said, "You have to be careful to call Ranma 'Ranko' whenever Auntie Saotome is around; I know I can trust you with this Mousse."

He nodded his head, he would do as she asked, he didn't want to make her angry… his very wellbeing was highly dependant on her moods.

She smiled when he nodded and stood up and walked to her wardrobe. As she opened the doors and started to rearrange things, Saotome turned to him and asked, "You ok?"

Was he supposed to answer?

He still couldn't find his voice so he shrugged his shoulders.

Saotome frowned at him and opened her mouth… however whatever she'd been about to say was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Akane its Auntie Saotome, Kasumi said you were up here."

Saotome and Akane stared at each other for a moment with equal looks of dread before Akane took a deep breath, gulped and called out "Yes Auntie Saotome."

The door opened, revealing the woman he'd encountered with Kiyoshi earlier outside in the street. She frowned when she saw them, her eyes taking in the three of them as well as the futon and his clothes…

"Akane… Akane what's going on?" she asked, her face taking on an almost frozen cast.

Akane flinched, but walked towards the woman with a determined expression. "Auntie Saotome… I… I am not going to be marrying Ranma," she said, meeting the woman's eyes.

He felt Saotome go completely tense next to him, and when he looked at her Saotome's face was frozen in a pained grimace.

The woman looked completely shocked; she staggered back a couple of steps and her hands clasped together at her throat. "What?! Akane what are you saying? How… how can you… ?" she whimpered, shaking her head.

Akane seemed to gather herself for a minute before opening her mouth and carefully saying "Ranma and I… we make better friends than lovers… but, more than that, I have responsibilities now."

She walked over to him and gently pulled him to his feet; he reluctantly went along with her and soon found himself presented to the woman.

"This is Mousse. Due to an entirely unforseen and mildly ridiculous set of circumstances he now belongs to me. He's an Amazon; they are a female dominated society and they have… strange… customs. So he is my responsibility. Ranma can… Ranma can take care of himself, he doesn't need me. And we'd make each other miserable," she said, almost tripping over her words.

The woman looked flabbergasted… she stumbled backwards a little more and turned around to leave. "I need to think about this Akane," she muttered as she walked towards the stairs.

Saotome and Akane gave each other a pained look, Akane shook her head and went back to putting his clothes away.

Saotome sighed and scratched her head. "I'll go and see if she's ok," she said, turning to leave before Akane responded.

He felt some what superfluous…

He stood there and watched Akane as she put things away, he was thinking about maybe remaking the futon so it wasn't such a mess when an outraged cry rang out.

"Where has the cake gone?!"

The people in this house were kind of weird.

000

(Kasumi's POV)

What was she supposed to do? Money didn't grow on trees.

They were ok when it was just her sisters, father and herself… they could even get by with the added burden of Ranma and Uncle Saotome… but now.

On an average day she was having to feed her family, Ranma's family, Happosai, the Kurosawa brothers… and now Mousse.

That was eleven people.

They didn't have the money for this. They just didn't.

Especially considering the appetite of some of the people involved…

She had to go shopping again. She didn't have enough food for dinner, let alone tomorrow's breakfast…

What was she going to do? The way things were going she'd have to start charging rent. There wasn't really any other option…

Only the neither Ranma nor his father had a job… she'd feel guilty asking money off Auntie Saotome, Mousse had nothing that didn't belong to Akane, and the Kurosawa's weren't exactly staying with them even if they were eating their food…

It was…

She had to go shopping. Now was the perfect time as well… Auntie Saotome had returned and she didn't quite feel up to the drama that would erupt when the woman found out about Mousse.

She gathered her things and made her way quietly out of the house.

She found Ryu smoking in the street outside of the Dojou; his face was cold and closed off… he didn't look like the Ryu she was used to.

He frowned when he first caught sight of her, but his face soon smoothed over into the slightly lecherous expression she was used to.

"Where're you going?" he asked, smirking at her.

She rolled her eyes at him, "shopping. We don't have enough food to feed all of you."

He shrugged, "you're not going to stick around and wait for things to explode?"

"I've seen enough explosions in my day," she sighed.

"Alright. I'll come with you," he said.

She looked at him with disbelief, "Why?" she asked.

He shrugged, "I'm bored."

She shook her head and started to walk, saying nothing else. He sauntered after her, still puffing on his cigarette.

It was kind of strange… walking with him. They had never really spoken and he was, to be honest, something of a pervert.

He was also a she. Sort of. Only her mind had trouble seeing him as anything other than obnoxiously male.

Which he was proving if the looks he was giving any remotely attractive woman that they passed were anything to go by. She couldn't understand it. How could anyone live like that?

It seemed, in some ways, terribly lonely.

He was a handsome devil though. Very handsome. Not the sort she let herself be attracted to these days though. Boys like him were trouble.

She noticed that she was getting some envious looks from some of the sillier looking women… she almost laughed. It was ridiculous.

A voice she hadn't heard in years suddenly called out to her "Kasumi…?"

She spun around.

No. No it couldn't be.

It was.

000