Nine
Weddings
But Ours...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.
Twenty-One: Esme,
Ghosts Of Babes Past And
A History Of Dance Through The Ages
Trying to be be quiet in a house full of vampires and sleeping shape shifters is like attempting to go into No Man's land at a stand still in battle. Impossible.
Before I'd even reached the fridge, the light flicked on, and even quicker, Esme was sitting at one of the three stools on the island counter top, hands on the counter looking eager to help. Too eager.
"Cravings?" She was like a little kid, guessing at secrets. "I remember those. Wanted Pepsi cola and chocolate dipped cherries." She smiled. "And I ate so much cheese that my husband threatened to buy a dairy farm."
"Well, it hasn't gotten that far," I said, laughing. I wanted meat. Rare meat. Stake at best, but anything would do. "Jake hasn't slaughtered a cow yet." I bent to get a frying pan from the floor cupboard, but Esme was there before I was and lightly shoved me towards her vacant seat.
"I can still cook, you do realize." She held up the frying pan- way too easily for a normal woman, that iron cooker was heavy even for me. "This frying pan has been in my family for eight generations. Well, ten now. And It's never once been washed." She turned on the element, globing butter into the bottom of the pan and waiting for it to foam before adding the steak. "How do you take it?" she asked, happy to play mother.
"Rare." I answered, glad to have her cooking. It made the night less lonely... that was coming from a vamun, which was just scary, everything considered. I should be a 'child of the night' by definition, and I usually was. It was recently that I had been scared to go out at night, mainly because I was afraid of my father. He had very strict rules on when and where Jake and I could meet now, which is only to be expected. I was also afraid for my baby- there were plenty of people who might want us all dead, starting with next generation mutants.
"Do you want eggs with it?" Esme asked, placing my steak on a blood red plate- say what you want, but we have a sense of humor about stuff too. "It tastes really good, as I recall."
"Sure." I said, reaching for the plate. Esme understood that if I had to eat, I had to eat. She'd been pregnant before... though her babies had been normal, but still.
"Do you like the kitchen?" Esme asked. She was gleeful. This was her element- hearth and home, babies and children. "I think that the shaker cooking elements really set it off, and Jasper managed to dig into storage to pull out some pre-civil war cooking utensils." The kitchen had been redone to both Esme and Jasper's tastes, pastel enough for mothering Esme, but angular and organized enough for the youngest major in Texas. Even the floor had been redone, and Alec was able to help with that- apparently he'd been a carpenter's apprentice, once upon a time. The electric and water supply were the only things he hadn't been trusted with, for obvious reasons.
"I love it, gran." I did. "I want a kitchen just like it." I really wanted it, and dropping that fact in Esme's ear was exactly what I needed to do to get it.
"Gran," Esme said, loosing her train of thought. "I never thought I'd be called that. And now, I'm to be a great grandmother!" She was nearly squealing with glee. "I never even dreamed that!"
"So you don't mind, you know." I said, hopeful.
"I don't mind you and Jake aren't married yet. You are to be, soon, and besides, you love each other. Where could you go wrong?" Esme brought over the eggs, sliding them onto my nearly empty plate. She really could cook, considering that she didn't eat.
"A lot of ways." I was very, very worried about parent hood. In fact, 'very' didn't begin to cover it.
"Raising young ones is very easy, if you let it go." Esme sat across from me, like a trusted adviser. She was, really. She'd helped in keeping me alive form infant to child, from teen to expecting mother/wife to be."You have to understand it's their life, and if they won't eat, they'll be hungry. Give them what you can, without hurting yourself."
"Esme, you can't have raised your children like that, I mean," I pointed at her with a fork. "Is that really what you live by?"
"Yes." she was smiling, though dead serious. "For me, I can give everything with out it hurting too much. For some, it is not the same. Think of all the homeless children, the starving ones, the sick- the-" She gulped. "Dying ones." She was about to cry, or was as close to tears as vampires can be. Sure enough, in a matter of moments she was gasping for breath through sobs, her eyes red, and her hands at her eyes.
"Are you okay?" I asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. She remembered I was there, and Esme sat up.
"Yes," She said, snuffling. "It hurts to think of him." I knew she meant her baby. The one she'd loved enough to kill herself for. She still loved him, after the dozen kids she'd raised/helped raised.
"I know it does." I truly was beginning to see that. I was a mommy now, basically, and the mere thought of anything happening to the cub was terrifying.
"He was small when I had him." Esme was smiling grimly at the memory. "Carlisle says that he was premature, too young to be born. He thinks his lungs weren't proper to begin with, and that's why he caught what ever it was that killed him so fast. But he was so tiny. He was he prettiest baby I've ever seen. Fair haired, blue eyed, and ever so pale. Ever so perfect." She paused, dwelling in the past. "The worst part of living forever, Nessie, is that I now know that he could have been saved. If I had had him, just tonight, just as he was, he would have lived. I wouldn't be here. I'd be off with a modern husband, living a modern life. I suppose I'm a relic of another time, a living history exhibit." She burst into tears again, and it was heart breaking.
"Gran," I said, attempting to comfort her. "If you didn't live forever, you wouldn't have Carlisle. You wouldn't have me."
"That is true." She said, wiping her eyes. "At least I have my angels. My new children. But it will never be the same. Oh, Carlisle I would be with over everything else, but a real baby, if anything, I would want that."
"I know." Ani said, startling us both. "I've been in your shoes, trust me." She was standing in the doorway, and seemed to have been there for the entire conversation. Ani came in , and sat down besides Esme. "I had a baby much like yours. Fair haired, pretty. Mine was a girl, though."
"Really? What happened to her?" Esme was hopeful, though she knew what had happened to the baby. Ani shrugged, depressed for once. Even her ringlets seemed to hang.
"What happens to all sickly children of the past? Most died, like ours. But, see, you and I are blessed, not cursed." Ani smiled timidly. "we have eternities of babies, whist other mothers have but a generation or two."
"Yes." Esme said, crying silently, as was Ani. "I suppose you're right."
I couldn't hold it anymore. I burst into tears.
"What is it, darling?" Esme said, putting her cold hand on my back.
"You two! You're heartbreaking! I mean, I can't even stand to think of loosing my baby, but you two have seen them die and you're still kicking!"
"There there," Ani said, sideways hugging me. "It's not as bad as it seems." We all cried together for a spell, and didn't even hear the garage door open and close, or Carlisle's footsteps coming though the door. He had had the late shift at the hospital.
I can only imagine what he thought, seeing his oldest friend, wife of over a century, and his half , pregnant granddaughter all crying together in a kitchen, let alone what he would say.
But Carlisle knew exactly what to do. As if choreographed, Esme rushed at him, and he pulled her into a hug.
"Don't cry, sweet." He said, attempting to comfort her. He was an expert in comforting Esme, after all this time, as he should be. "It's not as bleak as it may seem." That didn't work too well, and he started down the list of sweet nothings. That also failed, so Carlisle tried the go-to thing to get Esme to smile. The one promise there was no going back on, as long as Esme had a say in it. Carlisle sighed under his breath, thinking of the money it would cost him. "Do you want to buy another house? Renovate it and everything?" Esme's face lit up.
"Really?"
"Of course, dearest."
"I have just the one too!" She started pulling his hand towards the door, eager to start yet another of her projects. "It's from 1578, a real treat of a manor! Governor used to-" Her history of the beautiful house was cut short, as the couple were out the door and in the car in seconds, Esme eagerly driving and Carlisle looking crossed between being worried and very happy. Ani turned towards me as their car left.
"Still sad?" We both were, and she had the perfect cure. "Ice cream, and Kevin Bacon shaking his hips in Footloose." I laughed, and readily agreed.
We were sitting in front of the home theater screen in minutes with drinks, junk food and enough eighties movies to suffocate us.
"I really," I managed to spit out, taking a huge spoonful of Ben and Gerry's, "Should not be eating this for two."
"Oh, please," Ani waved her hand. "I slipped pre-natal care potions into everything you eat. You'll be fine.
"Huh." I didn't know whether to be worried or whether to thank her. But then I saw the dancing feet on Footloose's credits, and I was lost. God, I'm like my Daddy, obsessed with the beat.
As I have said before, trying to keep a family of vampires from overhearing laughter is very, very challenging. Emmett had soundproofed the room at Daddy's request- he had a hard time hearing his music over Emmett's blaring action films. But Jane's guest room was much closer to the theater then Daddy and Mum's, and her curiosity got the best of her. We were at the end, when everyone's dancing, when Jane came in and gasped.
"People are allowed to dance nowadays?" She seemed truly happy, as if it were a dream come true.
"Oh yes!" Ani turned in her seat, just as pleased. "I forgot to mention that! People dance all the time now, if you can call it dancing."
"You weren't allowed to dance?" I asked, shocked. A world without dancing was hard to imagine, even though I didn't love it like my aunts or father.
"Jane's a bit behind the times here," Ani explained. "When we were actual children, dancing was a sign of the devil."
"We still danced at esbats and other gatherings," Jane defended.
"But socially it just wasn't done." Ani finished, sighing. "Then in the seventeen hundreds it came into style, and partners grew closer and closer, touching more and more till this," Ani gestured towards the screen. "which is basically like stripping to our old pastor."
"Old Hannish would have a heart attack, if he saw this." Jane took a seat beside Ani, never taking her eyes off the screen. "Remember the time when Betsy Rose cast that spell on him, without anyone knowing?" Ani rolled her eyes.
"How could I forget? Took half the coven to figure out what in God's green earth the ani-charm was for it."
"She was off, that Betsy."
"Was her that started the burning in our village."
"Hannish burned me and Alec." burning was merely a sad incident to them now, and they talked like out biddies reminiscing- which, in a way they were. "Crazy himself, if you ask me."
"Jane," Ani chastised. "You did nearly kill his wife."
"She deserved it, calling my family a bunch of Quakers."
"In a way, you were, dear. We all were."
"Yes, but she didn't have to say it that way."
"Anyways," I called them back to modern times. "Bottom line is, you people couldn't dance?"
"We could before religion became the wide spread cult it's been for ages." Jane said. Clearly, she didn't like the pope.
"Jane, you know all religions are equal." Ani didn't mind the church. She wore a rosary, from time to time, mainly because of their power and because they'd been a gift from a sweetheart in some period of time.
"They may be, but some are stupid."
"I'm not saying you're wrong, but I can't agree." Ani countered.
Alec must have heard our conversation, because he was before us in minutes.
"What is this about Quakers and church?" He asked, transfixed by the rolling credits. Was everything new to these kids?
"Nothing. But oh, brother! People dance now!" Jane jumped up, the happiest I'd seen her since Jake was getting my father's impersonation of the Spanish inquisition. She rushed at Alec, grabbing at his hands and spinning him across the open floor between the screen and the seats.
"Really?" Alec was gleeful. "Last time I danced was-"
"When master was bored in seventy three!" they said together. I had the feeling that seventy three wasn't 1973, more like 1673, or maybe the seventy third year after Jane and Alec had joined the Volturi. It was along time ago, I knew that.
"We'll need to brush up on steps," Alec stated, as they launched into some complex dance with lifts and spins that even made me dizzy. "Times have changed."
"Oh, please!" Jane said, now standing beside her brother in a reel like position. "Compared to the country dances the stuff of the times is easy!" they called Ani up for a three partner dance, and she readily agreed. Then, midway through she gasped.
"You know who would remember these?" Ani cried out, excited. "Dear Carri!"
"You're right!" Alec agreed, and the dancing stopped. "We must go find him."
"I think I passed him in the library," Jane supplied, and off they went, Alec carrying Ani so that she would be able to keep up. I followed, eager to see this.
Carlisle was shocked at their request at first, but after Alec promised he could play a tune after e danced a partner reel he decided that trying the steps again would certainly bring back memories. With my help, we cleared a space in the floor of the library, and after I'd given them a beat they launched int the prettiest dance that I'd ever seen. Carlisle and Ani were partners, and Jane was paired with Alec. The couples danced across from each other, girl on the right. It wasn't jumpy, or loud, but low to the floor and calm- even though it looked very, very fun. The first eight beats they traveled forward and back, then side to side. After a very lively hand over from opposite girl to guy, the partners spun, gripping at each other's waists and ending up in the opposite place to where they had been at the start of the dance. Carlisle, Jane, Alec and Ani repeated this three times more, and the dance finished.
"One more! Please Carri!" Jane begged, using Ani's pet name for Carlisle.
"No. You promised I could play. But I'm sure if you teach Nessie, she'll dance."
"In that case, I'm best to sing, because I know no reels that have five dancers." Jane said. "Do you know a strathpey?" She asked, as she and Carlisle moved towards the closet in the room.
"What am I dancing?" I asked Ani. She just held out her hand, and I took it. Showing be in diagrams and pictures, she taught me the steps, and then she and Alec demonstrated. Finally, with Alec in between with me to the left and Ani to the right, and Jane and Carlisle prepared with a lute dug out from Carlisle's closet and some very dusty sheet music, we could begin.
"Ready?" Jane asked, thrilled. Seeing her, happy, smiling, made me forget for a second that she was evil- but I was beginning to think that Ani was right, the Volturi had taken away the sweet girl that Jane used to be, and had transformed her into a monster. We all nodded, and after sixteen beats to get the tempo, we started off.
First, Alec, with a hand on Ani and my waists, led us all forward three steps, then back two. Ani and I crossed behind his back, switching places, and ended up facing him. Taking a hand each, Alec spun us into our original spot, and then pulled me into a polka circling Ani, who was doing an odd step dance motion that somehow complemented everything brilliantly. We started from the beginning again, this time with Ani on the left. After our dance together Alec swung Ani into a polka, and the two laughed and giggled like children. Standing there, I was able to hear, and see the amazing chaos around me. Carlisle's playing was very good, considering that he hadn't played in ages, and Jane's voice was an angels, sweet and lively. But it was Ani and Alec that stole the show. They danced perfectly, like they'd done it for ages and eternity, always each other's partners. I remembered what Jane had said, about them being promised once upon a time, and I could see that clearly for the first time. I suspected that Alec had changed as much as he had for Ani, and maybe he wasn't so bad to begin with.
"Well," Daddy's voice chimed from the door. "Everyone's dancing without me?"
"I hate to tell you this, son," Carlisle called over our footsteps and Jane's singing, "But past nineteen eighteen you have no knowledge of dance what so ever."
"That's only because you claimed you couldn't dance, Carlisle." Daddy looked at Carlisle in a way that said 'you lied', and Carlisle smiled timidly back.
"What's this?" Jasper asked, coming in with Alice under his arm. "People dancing? I remember dances. The skirts those girls wore back then! Only three could dance at a time, depending on the size of the ball room." He looked to Daddy, expectantly. I knew he was thinking Daddy a question. "Well?"
"Have I ever thrown out an instrument?" Daddy asked, and left the room in a blur. He was back in an instant, a fiddle under his arm.
"Carlisle," Daddy said, not having to shout now that the dancing had stopped. "Play an A." Carlisle did, and Daddy tuned the violin. After about three minutes of careful tuning, Daddy could play.
"I've never played with a lute before," Daddy said, wondering. "You'll be able to follow along, this tune is very repetitive."
"Alice," Jasper said, offering a hand to his mate.
"Gladly." Alice said, and they moved onto the cleared space.
Daddy set the tempo, and after a curtsey and bow, Alice and Jasper began a lovely two step, quick in tempo and full of grace. It was straight out of the civil war, when there were still gallant gentlemen and girls with hoop skirts like Scarlet O'Hara. Though Alice came from the nineteen twenties, she only knew what everyone had taught her, and even though he was a military guy, Jasper could still enjoy dancing. The tune was interesting, and Carlisle was able to match Daddy note for note. It was lovely. When the first song was done, Ani dragged Carlisle onto the floor, and after declaring what exactly they were to dance, the two couples began a Southern Reel.
"Oh, please," Emmett said, coming in with Daddy's portable three thousand dollar keyboard swung under his arm and Rose strutting beside him in all her blond wonder. "You call that dancing?" He placed the keyboard on the coffee table, and told Daddy to play something from Rose and his time. The Southern Reel being done, Daddy agreed, and the room was filled with the music of the thirties and forties in moments. Rose and Emmett danced in quick turns, major lifts and amazingly complex movements with their feet. Alice and Jasper, along with Ani and Carlisle, all having lived the Forties too, were right beside them- no routine, no communication, just plain steps and a beat. Soon, Esme, Mum and the wolves came in too, and Ani left Carlisle to Esme, and swung Alec onto the floor. Daddy dashed to get his record player, putting on suiting music, and grabbed Mum, and Seth pulled a very surprised Jane onto the dance floor. The Quil and Embry were dancing together, having the time of their lives and laughing like mad men, and Leah and Billy were pulling wheelies.
Somehow, in all this madness, Jake managed to find me, and pulled me close.
"If this is just for fun," he whispered. "Think of our after party." I laughed, and we joined the bedlam of a library, me showing Jake the steps and everyone having a blast.