*THank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much.
DEAN's POINT OF VIEW:
"Honey, I'm home," says Ana as she walks into the front door making me smile as I put our dinner into two bowls.
"Hey," I say with a smile as she comes into the kitchen dressed in the most beautiful sea-green and blue plaid top with the top unbuttoned exposing the light blue cami underneath and a pair of black leggings.
"Hey," she says with a smile before she greets me with a soft kiss on the cheek as she stands behind me with her hands on my shoulder. "You cooked me dinner?"
"Well, I made Ramen noodles," I say with a smile. "But I attempted to make dinner."
"What flavor?" she asks.
"Chicken," I say with a smile.
"My favorite," she says with a smile. "Thank-you," she says before he gives me another soft kiss on the cheek before she gets us out a fork to eat with. I carry our bowls to the living room as she carries our forks and our bottles of water she pulled from the fridge. "So how was your day?" she asks as she takes a seat as I hand her bowl to her.
"It was good. How was yours?" I ask as I put my bottle of water down on the table next to the couch.
"It was good," she says as she starts to dig into her bowl of Ramen noodles. I'm not a chef and I have no clue how to cook but making Ramen noodles is my specialty. She likes to surprise me with dinner so I wanted to do the same for her. "How did everything go with Mr. Ramos?"
"Good," I say with a smile as I take my first bite of my noodles. "We did some talking about my academic progress and my future."
"Oh?"
"Yeah," I say as I twirl the noodles onto my fork. "He said that I'm doing very well. I'm going to pass 11th grade if I keep up the good work. He said I have brought my grades up from D's and F's to A's and B's. He's pretty impressed," I say with a smile. "He said that with grades like mine I can possibly get into college and possibly a good one. He mentioned something about SAT's what are those?"
"The SAT's are a standardized test that you take that help determine which college you get into. They're pretty important. Are you going to take your SAT's?"
"I don't know," I say with a shrug. "Are they hard?"
"They're not easy. It takes a lot of studying but I'm sure you can do it. I have taken my practice ones this year and did pretty well. I will take mine in the fall."
"Oh," I say, "I guess I'll look into it. I am planning on doing Co-op next year. He told me that would be all right and he gave me some college brochures," I say. "And he gave me some daycares in the area that help people in our situation. Some of them look really nice and he said there are some colleges that can help us in our situation."
"I see," she says, "what colleges are you looking at?"
"I don't know. They're in my book bag. I'm looking for schools close to NYU and UCLA so that we can both go to college and live in an apartment."
"Oh," she says, "So you want to go to college?"
"I think so but I'm not really sure I can afford it. How am I going to find the money for college?"
"Most schools have financial aid. I'm trying for scholarships to get into school or taking out student loans. I'm sure my dad will pay for my college but I don't know now after our circumstance. He might be a bit hesitant now."
"So there is Financial Aid to help pay for my education?"
"Yes," she says. "You should look into it. If you're really serious about college."
"The idea is in my mind. I just don't know what I would major in. I don't know what I'm really into."
"You like graphic design you could major in that. You like cars you could be a mechanic or something. You could do something with engineering. You're smart, Dean. You have so many options out there."
"I guess," I say with a smile. The way she believes in me and gives me hope makes me feel like I can do anything I want in the world. I never had anyone tell me I can do something. I've had a lot of people tell me I can't do something and most of the time I listen to them. A poor boy like me isn't going to be much of anything and with a kid on the way I don't know if I will ever make it to do what I want.
"You're still thinking about wrestling aren't you?" she asks.
"Well, yeah," I say, "it's my goal. It's my dream. I know I should have something to fall back on but if the opportunity comes along I'm going to take it. I want to do it. Just like you have your ballet thing I want to do my wrestling thing. I want to be in the WWE. I want to be a wrestler. That's my number 2 goal," I say with a smile. "Maybe number 3."
"Number 3?" she asks. "What's your number 1 and number 2 goal?"
"Number 1 is being a better father than my asshole father ever was to me to our little baby; our little Gummy Bear," I say with a smile.
"Gummy Bear?" she asks.
"Yeah looking at the ultrasound made me think of gummy bears so I thought we should call it gummy bear now."
"Okay," she says with a smile. "Gummy Bear; I like that."
"Me too and my number 2 goal is to be the best boyfriend to you I can possibly be. I don't know where our life is going to take us and I'm not thinking about marriage. I have to take things slow but I want us to be together for a long time and the only way I can make sure that happens is by keeping you happy and feeling loved. You're the best thing to ever happen to me, Ana. I don't want to lose you."
"Dean," she says with a smile. "You're not going to lose me. I love you way too much to let you go. And don't worry I have no plans of getting married till I'm 30 at least. Having a baby is a huge step but life is what it is. You just have to make the best of it."
"Yeah," I say with a smile. "So how was dance class tonight?"
"It was good. I love teaching dance. I hope to get back into dancing next year and working my butt off. Madame Giselle says there's still a good chance that I could get into the Joffrey again but I doubt it. I gave up my shot and there's no way I can dedicate my life to ballet with a baby. I think I'll just stick to dancing with Madame Giselle till I graduate and then that's it."
"You shouldn't just give up on dancing, Ana. That's your passion," I say.
"My passion," she says before she takes a bite of her noodles. "Is being a mother and a writer. That's all I have left to be," she says sadly.
"You sound upset," I say.
"I'm not upset, Dean, I'm just disappointed. Why did I get pregnant NOW? Don't get me wrong I am excited to be a mom and to have the baby but why NOW? It happened right when I was reaching my lifetime goal of being in the Joffrey. I got in and the same week I found out I was pregnant. I had to throw it all away."
"I don't know," I say.
"Maybe I wasn't meant to get into the Joffrey. I don't know. I guess there was a different plan for my life."
"Maybe," I say.
"I'm sorry," she says, "I'm just trying to figure it out."
"Me too," I say. "It's going to take a while but we'll figure it out."
"Yeah," she says. "Dinner was very good."
"It wasn't anything but Ramen noodles," I say.
"But YOU made it and that's what made it so special," she says, "I could get used to life like this. You know having you cook me Ramen Noodles while I am at work."
"There's more," I say.
"More?"
"I have desert too. I was thinking of some mint chocolate chip ice-cream."
"That sounds SO good," she says with a smile.
"Let me get us some," I say as I take her bowl. "I knew you would like it."
"You know how much I love it."
"I know," I say with a smile before I kiss her lips softly. "Working on goal number 2."
"You're doing pretty well," she says with a smile before she smacks my ass as I walk past her. "Did I ever tell you how hot I think it is that you're in the kitchen cooking dinner and getting desert? You're a good guy, Dean Ambrose."
"Just making my girlfriend happy," I say from the kitchen as I clean out our bowls before I get our ice-cream.
After I get our ice-cream I take it to the living room, turn a DVD on for us to watch while we eat it. I love nights like this when Ana is cuddled up next to me eating ice-cream and watching movies with me. I place a soft kiss on the top of her head before taking a bite of ice-cream. "Dean," she says softly.
"Yeah?" I ask.
"Do you ever think about your father?" she asks.
"Not really that much. I mean sometimes I do think about him but not a lot. Why?"
"You never thought about finding your dad and asking him why he left you? Or to show him how well you're doing without him in your life?"
"I wouldn't say I'm doing that well without him. My life has been Hell since the day he walked out on my mom and me. I watched my mom reach some of the darkest moments of her life because of that asshole. I had to see my mom sell her body to man after man just so she could put food on the table and to pay the bills. I watched my mom fall into her deep depression because she was alone because of my dad. I watched my mom struggle day in and day out because he left us. I got my ass kicked around a few times by my new 'dads'. I have seen my mom get her ass kicked so many times because she finds the scum of the earth to be with. I watched her bust her ass to be a single parent and that's why I would NEVER ever leave you, Ana. I would never make you do all this alone but my dad didn't give a shit. He was selfish. I don't think about him much because every time I do I get upset about how he ruined our lives."
"You never want to go see him?"
"If I see my dad, Ana, he's getting punched out."
"You never thought about asking him why he walked out?"
"Of course I want to know why or how a man can walk out on the woman he supposedly loved and his son. I don't know how he could just walk out and never look back or ever make sure that I'm doing okay. A Christmas card with a $20 bill every year is crap to me. He never once reached out to me or asked how I'm doing. I do want to know why he walked away the way he did but I don't know if I could ever face him."
"Do you know what he's doing now?" she asks as I pause the movie because I know this conversation is getting deep and heading somewhere she wants to go. I don't normally tell people about my dad or the life I've lived but Ana is different. I love her and I want her to know everything about me.
"I don't know what he's doing. I never really thought about it."
"Oh," she says. "I think about my mom a lot. I love my mom a lot but then she just left never came back."
"Why did she leave? She seems to have had a good life. Your dad is rich and her children seem awesome."
"I think it was because she was tired of my dad. My dad is controlling; I know it's not a surprise but my dad tried to control her, Dean. They were together since high school. My mom was so in love with my dad. She got pregnant when she was 18," she says. "So there wasn't really a chance for her to go to college but she was so smart. She was really into science and stuff like that. She wanted to be a doctor and go to med school but when she got pregnant she gave it all up. My dad went to college to take over the family business of course and my mom just stayed home with me. After I was born my mom decided to go to college she still wanted to do something in the medical field and looked at nursing but my dad wanted her to be part of the family business so she went to college for management to join him. She was never really happy with that choice. My dad is in charge and that's just the way it always has been. She had my brother and sister a few years later and my dad wanted her to stay home with us all to be a stay at home mom but she didn't want that. They fought all the time. My mom hated my father. She cried more than she laughed. She hated her life with him. She realized the mistake that she made and she was tired of being controlled. She took me to school one day and when I came home she was gone. She never said goodbye. She never said anything. She took me to school told me to have a good day and she would see me when I got home. When I got home she was gone. She never came back. My dad looked for her and tried to find her but she hid herself so well she can't be found."
"Wow," I say as I put my ice-cream down and wrap my arm around her. "That's crazy."
"She left right before I hit the toughest times of my life. I still had puberty to go through. She missed so much. It kills me but I want to know why she left. I want to know why she never came back or even bothered to talk to us. I get the reason why she left but why she left without us. I want to know why."
"So you haven't heard from her since she left?"
"Not a word," she says. "I want to find my mom and form a relationship with her. The thought of being a mother to my own child scares me. I feel like my life is heading in the way hers did and I don't want it to be like that, Dean."
"So you're scared that our relationship is going to turn out like your parents' relationship?"
"I don't know what I think. I think I'm more scared of being a mom and not living the life I want to live. That's what scares me the most."
"What life?"
"You know like being a writer. What if I have to give up college or can't go to college?"
"Ana, I would NEVER let that happen. I promise. I would go to hell and back just so you could go to college. I would NEVER let you give up on writing or give up on college. You're too smart. I'm going to be the one making sacrifices."
"But I don't want you to be the only one making sacrifices."
"I really don't mind, Ana. You made the biggest sacrifice of them all and that was giving up your lifetime dream of being a ballerina. I won't let you sacrifice anything else."
"Okay, Dean," she says, "Would you support me finding my mom and going to see her?"
"I will support anything you want to do," I say as I stroke her arm with my fingertips. "I will always support you."
"Would you go with me if I find her?"
"Of course," I say with a smile. "I would go to the end of the earth if you asked me to. Ana, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Is that what you want to do? You want to find your mom and talk to her?"
"I already found her," she says as she looks up into my blue eyes with her dark brown eyes. "I found her and I know where she is. I just don't want to go see her alone."
"Where is she?" I ask.
"Arizona," she says, "Phoenix, Arizona to be exact."
"You want to go to Phoenix?" I ask.
"Yes," she says. "But I don't know how we could afford it."
"I'm sure we could find a way."
"But," she says, "if I go to confront my mom I want you to confront your dad. I'll go with you."
"Ana," I say.
"Dean, I feel like the fact that our parents walked out on us leaving us to live the life we did is what is producing our fears on what kind of parents we are going to be. I don't want that. I think we need closure with them so we can stop being angry with them and at least try to make some type of relationship with them. I think that's the best thing for us to do."
"All right," I say. "I'll go see my dad since you're going to see your mom. I just hope this is a good idea."
"I think once we do this, Dean, we can move on to be better parents to our own baby," she says placing my hand on her stomach. "Don't you want to do the best that we can for Gummy Bear?"
"I always want the best for Gummy Bear," I say. "We'll do this," I say with a smile before I kiss her lips softly. "I just hope that it works out for the best."
"Me too but I just need this closure, Dean. I really need it and I think you do too."
"Okay," I say as I rub her stomach. "We'll do it."
"Thank-you so much, Baby!" she says with a smile as she pauses.
"What's wrong?" I ask, "are you okay?"
"Yeah," she says. "I think Gummy Bear likes mint chocolate chip ice-cream. I think I just felt it move."
"Really?" I ask with a smile. "What did it feel like?"
"Little flutters," she says with a smile. "Like butterflies. The baby is moving, Dean," she says with a smile. "It's moving."
"I wish I could feel it," I say with a smile, "but I'm glad you are getting this special moment right now."
"Soon," she says with a smile. "I love you so much, Dean."
"I love you too, Ana," I say before she kisses my lips softly. I'm not sure how I feel about going to see my dad but she is right we need some closure with our parents.
*A/N: What did you think of Dean making Ana dinner? Do you think Dean will go to college too? What did you think of Ana and Dean opening up to each other about their parents leaving them? What about DEan wanting to make all the sacrifices? Do you think Ana's life is similar to her mother's life? Do you think that's why her father is so stressed about her being pregnant at 17? Do you think it's a good idea they go to see Ana's mom and Dean's dad? How do you think that's going to go? What do you think about Dean naming the baby Gummy Bear (Lucy.. I know what you're thinking btw lol. THat's where I got it of course :)) What about Ana feeling the baby moving? Please review and thank-you for reading.