CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

When I woke again Edward was still with me, his face pressed against my shoulder and one arm so tight around my neck that he was making it difficult for me to breathe.

"Hey..." I touched his arm gently and he loosened it at once.

"Sorry."

"Are you ok?"

"Mmm."

His fingers dug harder into my shoulder as he held onto me and I wouldn't have been surprised to see a bruise form. I turned over to face him and brushed my lips against his. He looked wistful - worried almost - and I wished again that I could read his mind the same way he could mine. I cupped his cheek and stroked my thumb over his bottom lip; his eyes closed and he turned his head to press his lips against my palm.

"Do you wish we hadn't gone so far?" I asked.

"No!" His eyes flew open again and met mine. They were black. "It's not that. I just...it doesn't matter. I'm being ridiculous."

"Tell me," I insisted. "You're worried about something; I woke up and you were almost strangling me."

"I never expected any of this to happen," he said slowly. "I never expected to feel this way about you and now that I do I don't want to lose this."

"You won't," I said at once, stunned. He was scared of losing me? That he would feel like that, even though he had said he loved me, was unexpected and my heart skipped a couple of beats.

"You'll grow away from me; age. I'm going to be stuck like this forever."

"I won't age so long as I phase every so often," I told him. "I'm not going anywhere, Edward. You're not going to end up with a decrepit old grey wolf or have to bury me. I don't know how long we can live exactly, but I'm pretty sure it's a lot longer than a human so long as we halt the aging. The Imprint wouldn't let me grow away from you because it would just make us both sick, particularly me, but forget about that. It's not only about the Imprint any more. I love you..."

"I know," he sighed.

"...which means I'll be with you every minute I can be unless death forces us apart. You're my life, Edward, don't you know that?" I hugged him tighter against me while at the same time his painful grip on me loosened.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "You must think I'm being pathetic and clingy."

"Not pathetic...clingy, maybe, but I like it," I grinned. "Stop worrying. You're stuck with me. Nothing you do or don't do is going to change that."

He smiled at last. "It's kind of hard to believe that a few weeks ago things between us were so different. You saved my life and then turned it into a much better one."

"Now that's just corny," I teased. "And you're thirsty." I pulled away from him and sat up. "Let's shower and go hunting."

I was surprised when Edward followed me into the bathroom and joined me in the shower stall, but since we had moved forward to being naked in front of each other and jerked each other off, I guess I shouldn't have expected him to be as reserved as usual. I turned on the water as hot as it would go and leaned against the tiled wall, resting my hands on Edward's waist and drawing him against me.

"Sometimes I stay in here until I use up all the hot water," he told me. "Rose hates me for it. I just love the heat. I miss being warm; being able to feel hot or cold. You're always so warm..."

"All the more reason for you to be as clingy as possible," I smiled. "My temperature is a hundred and eight degrees." I slid my arms around him and held him tighter, feeling the chill of his body despite the heat of the water. I shivered and my cock quickly began to stiffen, working its way upright between our stomachs. After a moment I felt Edward harden too, his erection nudging between my legs as I stood with them spread apart. My cock twitched eagerly and I groaned at the feel of him until a few seconds later he stepped back, pulling himself away from me so that his shaft rose quickly and bumped against his belly.

I hadn't planned on starting anything, aware that he needed to feed, but his hand wrapped around me suddenly and squeezed lightly. I sucked my breath in and my cock throbbed in his hand, encouraging him to begin stroking me. I placed my hand on his neck, guiding his mouth to mine while I began touching him with the other hand, matching his rhythm as we kissed and jerked each other off. It was over too quickly, but we continued to make the shower itself sensual, washing each other's hair and soaping each other's bodies.

Afterwards we went out. We took off into the forest and headed north-east, spending several hours up there in the mountains, feeding first and then just wandering and talking, me occasionally nudging Edward with my muzzle or licking his hand and him ruffling my fur and scratching me ears.

By the time we returned it was dark and we had just a few hours left before I had to leave him. For once we sat in the main lounge where Emmett and Rosalie were watching TV and talking about Jasper. He and Alexa were both doing fine, with Esme ensuring they didn't go out unsupervised until it was certain they were in control of themselves and would only hunt animals. Jasper was slowly recovering from his heartbreak over the loss of Alice and was beginning to show interest in Alexa, over and above his responsibility to her as a newborn.

Edward sat beside me on the couch as we chatted and I itched to cuddle him, the way Emmett and Rosalie were snuggling together opposite us. For once she was too distracted by Emmett nibbling her ear to even glare at me. I risked sliding my hand off of my thigh to cover Edward's where it rested on the cushion between us and he smirked slightly before turning his hand over and lacing his fingers with mine. I had been unsure whether he would be comfortable with even a slight display of affection in front of his family, but it didn't seem to bother him. Emmett grinned at us and combed his fingers through Rosalie's hair. She turned her head to kiss his fingers and then caught sight of Edward's hand in mine and sneered.

"What?" I said, raising an eyebrow. I couldn't help myself. She was so damned rude and although I couldn't blame her for not liking the smell of me, I thought she could at least have made an effort to be civil if only for Edward's sake.

"What do you mean, what?" Her lip curled and she pulled away from Emmett's embrace. He sighed and stretched his arms out, then folded his hands behind his head.

"Rose, don't start," he said.

"You could at least support me!" she snapped.

"You could at least try to get to know Jacob. He might be a wolf, but he's a cool guy and he's going to be around for a long time. It wouldn't hurt you to be pleasant."

"Maybe I don't like having to put up with his stink every night and all weekend." Rosalie got to her feet. "I don't know what was worse - the fragile little human or a dog."

Edward flinched and scowled and I let go of his hand and slid my arm around him instead. I didn't care that she insulted me, but I was pissed that she would say something that hurt her own brother. Emmett clearly agreed with me.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Rose? I can't believe even you would say anything that low!"

"Maybe I can't believe that the rest of the family just rolled over and accepted it. Do you see Edward being invited over to spend time on the Reservation? No! Because none of them will tolerate it!" She stalked out of the room with her nose in the air.

"Sorry, guys," Emmett grumbled.

"It's alright," I said. "I guess she kind of has a point. I can't take Edward to my place."

"It's out of your hands," Emmett reasoned. "Your Elders or Sam make the rules. Just like Carlisle makes the rules here and since he's ok with you being here, my bitch of a wife has no business saying otherwise! I'm sorry, Ed." He marched off after Rosalie and a moment later their raised voices could be heard from upstairs.

"Are they always like this?" I asked. I'd heard a couple of screaming matches between the pair before now.

Edward smiled wrily. "Yes, but it's only about us occasionally. I swear they enjoy fighting. Well, they enjoy the making up after. The rest of us have to shut our ears - and me, my mind - or it'd make us all blush, whether we're capable or not."

I grinned. "Remember that time we fought? You were pissed at me for kissing Bella and threw me against my car?"

"Don't remind me. I'm sorry," Edward grimaced.

"It didn't hurt, I was just winded. I was mad as hell though, because I had to admit to myself that you're a lot stronger than I am."

Edward smirked. "I guess I wounded your pride more than your body, then."

"Uh huh." I folded my arm tighter around his neck and drew him closer. "I can't remember what it was like hating you."

"Me neither."

I reluctantly left him an hour later and made it home just before ten. Dad had already retired and I went to bed too, wishing I could be with Edward every night. I hated sleeping alone and always counted off the days until the weekend when I could be with him day and night.

The next day Embry came by the garage after school. It was around a week since I had spoken to him, all of the guys busy with study now and me spending every spare minute with Edward. But for once my friend had no homework and came over to hang out with me rather than go straight home. I took some bottles of coke out of the small fridge I had in the garage and passed him one.

"You're so lucky, not having to go to school," he grumbled. "I fucking hate Math...and Biology...and everything, actually."

I grinned. "Running my own business certainly beats classes. How's everyone else?"

"Yeah, good." He beamed suddenly. "I had a date Saturday."

"A date? You?"

"Fuck off, Jake, you think no one would want to date me?"

"Well, it'd be a first," I teased. "So who's the unlucky lady? I'm assuming it's a lady..."

"Jeez. No, it's a wolf. Well, a lady wolf." Embry flushed slightly and I stared at him.

"You're dating Leah? How did that happen? I thought you were too chicken to talk to her?"

"Huh, well, turns out she noticed me gawking at her one time too many and pulled me up about it. Whilst praying for the ground to open up and swallow me I confessed I liked her and she asked me on a date."

"No kidding! You and Leah...so how'd it go?"

"Awesome." He grinned wider. "We're going to hang out for a while after school tomorrow and I'm taking her to the movies Friday."

"That's great, Em, I'm glad for you," I said. "So, what about the others? I never get to hear anything any more."

"You're never around," Embry said. "They're all ok, except Paul and he's just...you know...Paul. How's Edward?"

"Good."

"Dare I ask if you got to stage three yet?" he teased.

"Umm..." I felt my face colouring up immediately and avoided his eyes.

"Shit, Jake, what he does he think about you eyeing him up?"

"Imprints work both ways, Embry," I said uncomfortably. Embry had always been the nosiest one in the pack and had always teased me endlessly about my feelings for Bella. Not very long ago I could never have imagined myself wanting to be with a boy and I wasn't sure whether to say anything or not. Would my friend be horrified that I was...gay?

"Did something happen?" Embry prompted.

"You don't really want to hear about my Imprint," I sighed.

"Oh, yes, I do."

"And the minute you leave here you'll go and tell all the others."

"I won't; not even Quil if it's such a big secret."

"It's not a secret, I just don't think you want to hear about me and Edward."

"If I didn't, I wouldn't have asked. We used to tell each other everything. I didn't tell any of the others how I felt about Leah until after we got together."

"I'm in love with him," I blurted.

"Fuck me! That happened fast!" Embry exclaimed. "Does he know?"

"Yeah, he feels the same."

"I guess that's why we never see you then, Imprint or not."

"Yes, it's lucky Carlisle lets me go over there any time I want, otherwise we'd be meeting up in the forest every day," I told him.

"Jake, what I don't get is, you were never interested in guys, right, so why would that change suddenly? Wouldn't the Imprint work the same way as if it was a kid and you'd just be a friend?"

"I thought it would at first; I hoped it would stay like that. Hell, I didn't want to even think about getting it on with a guy, much less a vampire, but it somehow changed without me noticing."

"But they feel...dead," Embry said, wrinkling his nose. "And they smell and taste like rotten flesh."

"Not to me," I smirked. "Well, the rest do, but Edward doesn't. He says I don't smell like dog any more either. Rose complains about it often enough though; apparently my stink permeates the whole house."

My phone beeped and I pulled it out of my pocket quickly to find a text from Edward. 'Going hunting with Emmett, will be back by the time you get here. Love you.'

"Aww." I beamed from ear to ear like a fool as I began tapping out a reply. 'Love you too, can't wait to see you.'

"Is that him?" Embry asked. "Texting each other sweet nothings?"

"Yeah."

"Jeez, you have got it bad."

"I just wish he could come over," I sighed. "Carlisle agreed to me being there any time I want and he didn't have to. I don't suppose he enjoys having a wolf in his house, but he understands Edward and I need to see each other. My Dad does too, but he doesn't make the rules, does he?"

"Why don't you talk to Sam again?" Embry suggested. "The others don't really care any more, I think they got used to the fact that you're with a lee - Edward. It's only Paul who still goes off about it."

"There's no way Sam will agree to Edward being on the Reservation," I said wistfully.

"You could still ask. If he just goes straight to your house and back and he's with you, it's not like the whole lot of them are going to be wandering around here doing as they please."

"Yeah, I guess I could ask him, I just don't think he'll agree to it."

Embry stayed gossiping with me until I finished work and locked the garage. Then he went home and I took a shower and ate dinner with Dad. When I set off in the Rabbit to go to the Cullens', I found myself taking a detour towards Sam's place without having actually decided to do it. When I parked up outside he came out looking surprised.

"Jacob! Good to see you."

"You too." I shook his hand. "How's Emily?"

"Great. She's visiting her mother right now. Want to come in?"

"Sure." I followed him into the house. I immediately began to feel nervous and resigned at the same time. There was no way he would agree to Edward visiting me and I didn't know why I was wasting the time asking when I could be over at the Cullens' right now with my vampire.

"How's...Edward?" Sam seemed to have difficulty saying his name and I frowned.

"Good. I'm happy with him," I said.

"That's usually what happens with an Imprint, even if it doesn't seem likely in the beginning."

"It's more than that, I love him," I said quickly. "I know I wouldn't without the Imprint, but, anyway...what does everyone else think about it? I talked to Embry, but I haven't seen the other guys."

"They're pretty cool. Except for Paul, but that goes without saying," Sam chuckled. "You want coffee or something?"

"No, thanks, I can't stay long. I'm going to see Edward. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I know I'm wasting my breath, but since I'm here..." I paused, trying to swallow the irritation which was growing inside me. He lived with his Imprint; Jared's was two doors away from his house and mine...I had to go to him and he wasn't welcome with my pack. They only tolerated me seeing him because they knew it would kill me if I didn't.

"I think the situation I'm in is pretty unfair," I said. "Carlisle doesn't have to welcome me into his house, but he does, every day, because he knows Edward and I need each other and he likes seeing his son happy. Edward can't even set foot on the Res, not even to come to my house. Shouldn't Dad be able to say yes or no to whether I bring my...boyfriend over to spend time with me?"

"Boyfriend?" Sam grimaced. "Is that how you see him?"

"I love him," I repeated. "I stay over the whole weekend with him; what do you think? That's beside the point. What harm will it do if one Cullen visits me in my house? It's not like he's going to fly around the Res feeding on the tribe's kids or anything. I know what the Elders think, but you have the final word, Sam, and you're basically banning one of your own pack from doing what he wants in his own home."

"Jacob, things are a little different here, you know that. The Cullens are one family and Carlisle can decide to have you visit or not; that's his right. I might have the final say here, but I have to think about the whole tribe, not just the pack and the Elders. There are several hundred people here and I have to put them first."

"You really think Edward would be a danger to them? He wouldn't hurt one hair on anyone's head!" I snapped.

"I'm not saying he would, but it isn't something that would remain a secret for long; you know how people around here talk. How do you think your business will do if the tribe know you have a vampire visiting you? Condoned by your father and your Alpha? How do you think Billy will be treated by his friends and neighbours? On top of that, I have control over the pack, but not the rest of the tribe. If it became known there is a leech in our midst, not only would people lose any respect they have for the pack, but they may take it into their own hands to get rid of what they perceive to be a threat."

I hadn't actually thought about that, but I was still mad and I made the mistake of blurting out the thought I had in Houston when it had been feared the pack would attack the Cullens in order to get to Jasper.

"You know I'm the true Alpha, Sam..."

Sam sighed heavily. "You want to take over from me, Jacob? Do you think that will help you? Go ahead. Take the role, bring Edward over here and see what happens. Everything I just said will still apply. You being Alpha won't change a thing; you'll be resented, the pack will no longer be trusted and you'll lose everything you have now. I don't want to fight with you about this, I just want you to think about it properly. I can imagine how you feel about Edward; I've had plenty of time to get used to the way an Imprint works. But you can't put him first above your whole tribe and if it came to it, I wouldn't do it for Emily either. She's first in my life, but she can't be first at the expense of our entire heritage."

I felt completely deflated. I had known he wouldn't agree to Edward coming onto the Reservation, but somehow his reasoning, reminding me that it wasn't all about his rules, but about several hundred people and their feelings, made me feel completely hopeless. I could be with Edward for ten years or a hundred or more, and he would never be welcome.

"What about the future?" I asked. "I know I'm still a kid, but I won't always be. I'm going to halt my aging so I can stay with him, but I know I'm going to want more than I have now. I'll want to live with him."

"Then you'll have to share a place outside of the Res," Sam said. "No one will have anything to say if you're on neutral territory; that I can guarantee. But you will have to think about the fact that the pair of you can only stay in one place for so long before people become suspicious of the way you look."

"I know," I said. "The Cullens move around every few years."

"The same will apply to you."

I nodded. "I better get going, Edward will be wondering where I am. Thanks, Sam. I know you're right, I'm just...disappointed."

"I'm sorry."

"Give my best to Emily, I'll try and stop by again soon and catch up." I went outside to the Rabbit and drove off, trying not to let the conversation spoil my mood. I had known what the outcome would be and yet still I found it difficult to accept.

When I pulled up outside the Cullens', Edward descended from one of the upstairs windows in a flash and landed in front of me, paused for a second and then yanked me against him and enveloped me in a crushing hug.

"Where've you been?"

I wrapped my arms around him and stroked my hands up and down his back. My frustration evaporated and immediately I felt happy again as I held him and felt his cold lips touch my cheek.

"I'm sorry, I had to see Sam about something. I missed you today." I kissed him hungrily until I was breathless and both of us were aroused. "I love you," I murmured. "I hate us being apart."

"I love you."

"Guys, get a room!" Emmett yelled from the porch suddenly.

Edward backed out of my arms sheepishly. "You're just jealous because Rosalie's still sulking with you," he teased.

"Yeah, like I really want to kiss a wolf." Emmett grimaced and made a vomiting noise, then laughed.

I shoved my hands into my pockets to cover up my excitement and followed Edward into the house and up to his room. The minute the door closed I pulled him into my arms again. So long as I could be with him like this, it didn't really matter where.