So here is chapter 21 for your reading pleasure;) A little side note, for those of you who have followed from the beginning, at the end of Maura's Confession I ended it with an epilogue for when the kids were older. This chapter takes place a little before that epilogue so we are all caught up and from here on out will be unknown and unexpected happenings;) You don't have to go back and read that last chapter if you don't want to, but you can if you'd like. Any who, enough of me talking, On to the chapter! This one is really cute and I hope you all like it.
I love days like this, getting to relax in bed with my two beautiful children. Bella, who is now one, is curled up on my right side, tucked safely under my arm sound asleep. Lucas is on my left side, Jane's side of the bed, with his back to me. His legs are resting atop mine on an angle and his head is resting on Jane's pillow, which he pulled towards him from its normal spot. My hand is softly rubbing his back while he sleeps, slightly snoring just like his mama does.
Before Jane left for work this morning she got Bella up, changed and fed, and brought her into our room to be with me. Lucas soon followed and we had a few minutes of family time before she had to leave, which was lovely. It has been a rather hectic couple of months for us. We have been so busy with several recent homicides that I needed to go in and assist, leaving the children with one grandmother or another, seeing as Jane was rather busy herself. It was good bonding time for Lucas and Bella with each grandmother, but I've missed them terribly. That's why this moment is so special right now. It's the first morning in a few months where I get to just relax and be with them.
Bella stirs and rolls over onto her stomach, putting her thumb in her mouth, something she likes to do as of late. I chuckle softly at he adorableness before removing her thumb. I don't want her starting that bad habit. I feel my eyes start to droop, not realizing how tired I am, and decide to join my children in the land of dreams. I lay down completely and pull them both closer to me before closing my eyes and falling to sleep.
I wake up to find Bella's head resting on my chest and her little hand tangled in my hair, playing with it. Her eyes are open and she is staring at me. Once she notices that I'm awake her face breaks out into a big grin.
"Hi baby girl." I say, my voice raspy from sleep.
"Mum." She says happily and leans in to give me a kiss. I wrap my arms around her and pull her tight against me. I tickle her sides softly and she giggles adorably. It's now that I notice the absence of a small dark haired boy. I look back at Bella questioningly. "Where's your brother sweetheart?" I ask her, even though I know she can't answer me. He must have gone downstairs to watch cartoons like he always does. I still have my work cut out for me if I want to break him of that habit.
I get up out of bed, taking Bella with me, and head into the bathroom to take care of my morning routine. Bella entertains herself with her bath toys while I wash my face, brush my teeth, and brush my hair, putting it into a high ponytail. Next I have her follow me into my closet to pick out some clothes to wear. I settle on a comfy pair of jeans and a dark v-neck shirt that Jane bought me not too long ago, claiming she loves seeing me in casual wear and that they give her a better view of my breasts. Jane absolutely loves my breasts, and I have to admit that this shirt does accentuate them rather well, so I like to wear it. She's likely to pay more attention to me when I show them off, which works out lovely for us both in the end.
"Come on baby girl, lets head downstairs and see what your brother is up to." I say to Bella as I pick her up and rest her on my hip. We make our way downstairs, Bella playing with my hair as we go. Once I get to the bottom of the stairs I look towards the TV, expecting it to be on, but it's not and Lucas isn't laying on the floor in front of it. After more inspection I find that he's not downstairs at all, and neither is Cooper for that matter. That means that both boys must be upstairs in Lucas' room. Bella and I make our way up there and sure enough Lucas is in his room on the floor playing with his Lego's, and Cooper is laying on the floor next to him. Lucas looks up at me and smiles.
"Hi mommy." He says happily before looking at his sister.
"Hi Bells." He says sweetly, waving at her with a smile. making my heart swell.
"Hi baby, what are you doing?" I ask him, setting Bella down before I move to sit on Lucas' bed. Bella goes right for Cooper and starts petting him, sitting down next to him and resting her head against his furry back lovingly.
"Playin' Lego's." Lucas says as he snaps two pieces together.
"I thought you might have gone downstairs to watch TV." I say, watching for his reaction. He stops what he's doing and looks up at me questioningly.
"No mommy, you says I can't." He says, and he sounds almost scared like I think he went down there without permission. I smile at him and beam with pride. My sweet boy remembers the rule put in place for him to not watch TV in the morning. Since Jane and I set that rule two months ago it has been touch and go with him. If Jane and I are up and about he wouldn't chance it, but there have been a few times when he thought we were asleep and watched without permission, getting himself in trouble. One of which was two days ago.
"I know Lucas, and I'm so proud of you for remembering." I say proudly to him and he visibly relaxes. He starts playing with his Lego's again, and a squeal from my right catches my attention. Bella is essentially smacking Coopers head in excitement while he sits there and takes it. I jump up and grab her, freeing the dog from his baby tormentor.
"No Bella, we don't hit. You hurt Cooper when you hit him." I say sternly to her and she looks at me with a serious face. "No." She says and shakes her head back and forth. "That's right baby, no hitting." I say, setting her back down and showing her how to softly pet the dog.
"See baby, we pet Cooper softly like this." I say, guiding her hand softly over Cooper's back. I let go and she continues to pet him.
"Bee bee." She says adorably, mimicking me calling her baby.
"You're my baby." I say to her lovingly before leaning down and kissing her forehead. I turn back to Lucas, watching him play with his Lego's. He has a determined look on his face while he assembles his little creation in his hands.
"Are you hungry buddy?" I ask him and his face lights up when he looks at me, setting his Lego creation down on the floor.
"Yea mommy! I want Pop Tarts!" He exclaims, bouncing slightly in place.
"Op Tars!" Bella yells out next to me, hopping up in excitement before falling back down onto her bottom. She smiles, letting me know she's okay and not hurt. My heart begins to calm after the initial shock that she might have been hurt. I start chuckling at my adorable children, my sweet baby girl trying to copy her brother with excitement, even though she has no idea what a Pop Tart is.
"How about we have something a bit more nutritional, like say oatmeal and some fresh fruit?" I ask them and Lucas groans. It's almost uncanny how alike him and Jane are, although I'm sure his aversion to anything healthy stems from her telling him about it rather than him forming his own personal opinion.
"Oh don't give me that mister. Bella loves fresh fruit and I can promise that you do too." I say, standing up and picking Bella up off the floor into my arms. I look at her with a smile. "Would you like some watermelon baby girl?" I ask her in a sweet voice. "Yea!" She answers back happily. I turn my attention back to Lucas.
"See, your sister is fine with my breakfast choice. Now put your Lego's away and meet us downstairs for breakfast." I say to him before making my way out of his room and down the stairs to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
"Thanks mommy." Lucas says, emphasized with a kiss to the cheek after setting his bowl in the sink. "You're welcome sweetheart." I say, smiling at my victory. Like I said he would, Lucas loved his breakfast of watermelon pieces and oatmeal. I would have liked to serve apple slices with the oatmeal but for some unknown reason my children absolutely love watermelon, Lucas just seems to forget this fact.
Bella starts to squirm as I begin to wipe the watermelon juice and oatmeal off of her face and hands, seeing as she made a complete mess. I'm happy though because she ate all of the food I gave her. "No!" She cries and continues to wiggle, before I finally get her cleaned to my liking. I get her out of her high chair and set her down so I can go clean her tray. She immediately takes off away from me, heading towards her brother who has taken up coloring on the living room coffee table. I chuckle at her as I head to the sink and start cleaning.
Once I'm done cleaning I head into the living room to see what my little rugrats are up to. Lucas and Bella are kneeling in front of the coffee table, paper and crayons scattered throughout. There are a few drawings done, but what catches my attention is my son holding his sister's hand around a blue crayon, helping her draw a picture. They both have smiles plastered on their faces, making me smile as well. I sit down on the couch behind them and lean over so I can see what they are drawing.
"What are you two up to?" I ask, and they both look up at me smiling.
"I'm helping Bells draw a picture for mama." Lucas says sweetly.
"Mama!" Bella cries happily, bouncing in place before tossing the crayon in her hand onto the table. I chuckle and kiss the top of her head, wrapping my arms around her body.
"I'm sure your mama will love it." I say sweetly to them.
Lucas and Bella continue their drawing for a few more minutes before calling it quits and getting out their toys. I sit on the couch with my laptop and catch up on some work while keeping an eye on them. Next thing I know it's almost noon and I need to start making lunch. An idea pops into my head and I smile.
"Luke honey, what do you think about helping mommy make lunch, then helping me get your sister ready so we can go to the park and have a picnic?" I ask my son and his face lights up.
"Okay mommy." He says excitedly, getting off the floor to head towards the kitchen.
"Pick up your toys first Lucas, and then make sure you wash your hands. I'm going to go upstairs and change your sisters diaper, then meet you in the kitchen." I say, picking Bella up, after having caught a whiff of her diaper, and head towards the stairs.
"Okay mommy." He says politely, doing as I instructed without complaint. I head upstairs and get my daughter changed, deciding to get her ready now so we can just make lunch and head out.
"Mommy, can I go play now?" Lucas asks me sweetly, having finished his peanut butter and fluff sandwich. Both peanut butter and fluff cover his cheek and he looks absolutely adorable. I reach into the diaper bag and pull out a wipey, handing it to him so he can wash his face.
"Here, wipe your face clean and then you can go play." I say to him before giving Bella another spoonful of her applesauce that she takes happily. Lucas takes the wipe and gets most of the food off, only needing me to guide him slightly before his face is finally clean.
"Okay, be safe now." I say as he takes off running for the playground, no longer listening to me. I cringe before deciding to just let him go and enjoy himself. I finally get Bella and myself all fed, cleaning her up as well, and set the picnic basket aside. As I do Bella reaches into the diaper bag and pulls out her If You Give A Mouse A Cookie book, which is her favorite, and hands it to me to read.
"You want to see the mouse?" I ask her as she nods and settles herself between my folded legs, her back flush to my front. She listens and watches intently as I read and flip each page. As I finish with the story she takes the book, hugs it to herself, and leans back into me more. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her soft blonde head.
"I love you so much baby girl." I whisper lovingly to her before looking up to check on Lucas. He's playing on the playground with several other children his age. He has a giant smile on his face, enjoying himself immensely. A voice to my left startles me as it breaks the calm silence.
"You're children are absolutely beautiful." A feminine voice says. I look up at a tall woman with fair skin and gorgeous deep red hair. She's strikingly beautiful and I can't help but stare as she stands before me. Finally I find my voice, mentally chastising myself for getting caught up.
"Oh thank you so much." I say to her. She smiles at me and reaches out her hand.
"I'm Gwen." She says as I shake her hand.
"Maura. Nice to meet you Gwen." I say genuinely.
"You as well. Do you mind if I sit?" She asks, gesturing to the empty spot on the other side of the blanket Bella and I are sitting on.
"No, go ahead." I say as she smiles at me again.
"So are you here alone?" She asks once she's sat.
"Yes, just a little mother daughter and son bonding time today."
"Your husband at work?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't have a husband." I say, and I can see her facial features shift slightly, almost as if this news makes her happy.
"I do have a wife though, and she is at work. She's a Homicide Detective for Boston PD." I say proudly, thinking of my beautiful Italian. Gwen's face falls slightly, but she masks it rather quickly.
"Oh wow, that must be tough. Being the wife of a detective can't be easy."
"We do just fine. I'm the Chief Medical Examiner so we work together. That's actually how we met. We started out as friends first. We were friends for about four years before we finally got together. Next month will be our sixth year anniversary." I tell her proudly.
"That's amazing. And you have two beautiful children to show for it." She says, gesturing to Bella, who I now realize has fallen asleep in my arms.
"What about you? Are you married? Any children?" I ask, curious about her life.
"My wife and I are getting a divorce. That's our son over there playing alongside yours." She says, pointing out a small blonde boy playing with Lucas.
"He's like my own child but he's actually hers from a previous marriage so I legally have no ties to him. She says I can still see him but it's not going to be enough just once or twice a week when I'm used to seeing him everyday." She says sadly, watching the boy as he plays.
"I'm so sorry to hear that. What's his name?" I ask her softly.
"Hunter. He just turned four. His mom and I got together when he was one and married when he was two, so he's been my son the majority of his life. How am I supposed to be okay with this?" She says, wiping a lone tear that fell from her eye. I reach out and rest my hand atop hers comfortingly. She looks back and smiles at me.
"It will be okay. I'm sure she knows how much you love him. And not only is it bad for you, but it could be detrimental to his development if she were to permanently remove you from his life." I tell her as I pat her arm softly.
"Geez maybe I should have you talk to her." She laughs slightly as she wipes more tears away and gives me a small smile. Bella starts to stir in my arms before waking, zoning her dark brown eyes right to my own. "Mummy." She says sleepily with a cute grin. I smile back down at her. "Hi baby girl." I say sweetly to her.
"She is so adorable." Gwen says, and Bella immediately averts her attention to the strange woman with us. "Hi sweetie." Gwen says in a baby voice to her. Bella stiffens and turns in my arms, reaching for my hair.
"Mummy!" She cries, scared of Gwen. I wrap my arms around her and hold her protectively to me, looking at Gwen apologetically. "I'm sorry, she has a thing with some strangers. It's not just you. She was even afraid of her uncle Tommy who she hadn't seen in several months when he came over to the house a few weeks ago." I say, trying to explain my daughters behavior, not wanting her to feel any worse then she already is.
"It's okay Maura, I understand." Gwen says, making me feel slightly better.
Suddenly Lucas comes running back over to us, followed by Hunter, with an excited look on his face.
"Mommy! Can Hunter come over to our house?" He asks, breathing heavily from his running.
"Yea mama, can I go?" I hear Hunter ask Gwen, standing in front of her while Lucas stands near me, anticipation all over his face. I look from him to Gwen questioningly.
"I don't think so baby. Your mom wanted you back right after the park so I think we should get going. Plus I'm sure Lucas and his mom and sister have things to do." Gwen tells Hunter. He instantly falls to the ground and starts crying. Lucas looks at me with a sad face but he doesn't react as Hunter is, he knows better. I look at him apologetically.
"Maybe another day honey. Hunter needs to go home, but maybe I can ask his mama for their number so we can see about a play date in the future." I tell him and he looks at me with a hopeful smile. "Okay mommy." He says before sitting down on the blanket next to me. I look back at Gwen who is trying to comfort Hunter.
"Is there any way that I could get your number, and maybe in the near future we could set up a play date for them?" I ask her and she nods her head.
"Of course, that sounds like a great idea." She says as she pulls a piece of paper out of her purse and a pen, writing down her number, before handing it to me. I take it from her and set it in the diaper bag, looking to Lucas who is rubbing his sisters back and whispering softly to her.
"Okay baby I have their number so we can work something out soon." I tell him and he smiles at me. "Thanks mommy."
"You're welcome baby. Now say goodbye to Hunter because we need to get home. Your mama will be home soon." His face lights up at the mention of Jane, always eager to see her. He hops up and makes his way over to Hunter to say goodbye while I begin to pack our things. Bella still clings to me, making it more difficult, but I manage to get it all with the help of Gwen.
"It was good meeting you Maura. Give me a call sometime and we can work something out." She says once we get to the Tahoe. "Of course." I say, opening the back to set our stuff in before heading around to get Bella buckled in her car seat. Lucas gets into the car and buckles himself up, excited to get home and see him mama. Gwen and Hunter wave goodbye as they head to their own vehicle. I climb into the drivers seat and turn the Tahoe on before putting it in drive and heading home.
The front door opens and Jane comes trudging in, a scowl on her face and a slump in her posture. She's now finally home, several hours after dinner, something that doesn't happen that often. I've already put Bella down and I'm letting Lucas play ten more minutes of his game before bath and then bed. She tosses her keys in the bowl and they clank loudly, startling Lucas who jumps slightly and pauses his game. When he sees Jane his face lights up and he gets to his feet so he can go to her.
"Mama!" He exclaims happily as he makes his way over to her. He jumps into her arms, catching her off guard and she grabs him awkwardly before he falls.
"Oh hey buddy." She says to him, and I can tell that she's exhausted. I stay put on the couch, watching the two interact, waiting to see how she reacts. Lucas starts telling her about his day, like he does every time she comes home, and follows behind Jane as she heads for the fridge to grab a beer.
"Thats great buddy." She says in response to something he told her, but I can tell that she's not fully listening. Her mind is on work still and if I don't distract him, Lucas will begin to notice she's not listening and his feelings will get hurt.
"Lucas honey, say goodnight to mama, it's time to head up for a bath and then bed." I call to him, getting up to turn his game off and then head into the kitchen.
"Night mama, loves you." Luke says happily to Jane, giving her a hug and a kiss before scampering off towards the stairs. I head over to Jane to have a quick word before heading up after him.
"Rough day at work?" I ask her, standing next to her as she sits at the bar and nurses her beer. She gives me an exhausted look and nods her head.
"We're no closer to catching the guys responsible for the death of those two little girls. And to make matter worse, we found another body today and we think they might be linked." She says sadly. Cases with small children always hit Jane hard, especially now that we have kids of our own. She takes it personal and makes it her mission to bring them justice. I reach out and rub her arm comfortingly, leaning in to kiss her head.
"I'm sorry baby, but you'll catch them, I have faith in you."
"Thanks Maur." She takes another swig of her beer so I decide to head up.
"I'm going to go get Luke ready for bed. I'll meet you upstairs after." I say before heading off.
I crawl into bed after finishing my nightly routine, looking over at Jane who is going through a few case files intently. I scoot closer to her and lay my head down on the edge of my pillow, continuing to gaze at her. She continues to look over her files, not paying attention to me. I reach over and lay my hand on her stomach, rubbing back and forth softly, while continuing to look at her.
"Any luck with those files baby?" I ask her. She doesn't look at me but she does respond.
"Not really. I don't think I'll find anything but it can't hurt to give it all another look." She says in response.
"Well how about you set the file aside then and spend some time with me. Both of the kids are in bed and we haven't been with each other in several weeks. I want to make love to my wife." I say seductively, taking the file from her and setting it on her bedside table, intentionally putting my breasts in her face. I lean in for a kiss, which she reciprocates, and tangle my hand in her hair. We kiss for a few minutes before I start to trail my hand down her neck, between her breasts, and down her stomach towards her center. I pull up her shirt, all while still kissing her, exploring her mouth with my tongue and moaning. I reach my hand down into her panties and into her folds. I push lower, wanting to dip my fingers into her hot wet heat, but instead I find her painfully dry. My hand stops and I pull back from our kiss, looking at her a little confused and slightly hurt.
"Are you okay baby? You're not wet." I say, and she looks at me embarrassedly, before lowering her head. I pull my hand out of her panties and move away from her slightly. I can't help but feel insecure about her lack of arousal. The sad thing is this isn't the first time in the last month that this has happened. I look up at her vulnerably as she stares back with sad eyes.
"Do I not turn you on anymore Jane?" I ask her, sounding so small.
"Of course you do honey, I've just been really stressed today and I guess I'm not in the mood."
"This isn't the first time this has happened though Jane. Two weeks ago when I tried to initiate intercourse this same thing happened." I say sadly and she lowers her head again. After a minute of silence she looks back up at me.
"I'm sorry Maur, I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Is there anything I can do?" I ask, resting my hand on hers, linking our fingers together. "Do I need to be more romantice, or sexy? Should I be spontaneous and find you at work randomly, taking you in one of the interrogation rooms?" I ask, trying to sound seductive. I must fail though because Jane takes her hand away from me and turns away, setting her feet off the side of the bed and to the ground.
"Baby whats wrong?" I ask as I set my hand on her back, concerned.
"I don't know Maur, maybe my body is going through changes. I am without a doubt attracted to you, but lately I just haven't been in the mood, and I don't really even think about having sex. Ugh I probably sound like an asshole right now." She says frustratedly. I stay quiet, processing her words, not really knowing what to say. Suddenly she gets off the bed and turns to me with a determined look.
"Maybe if I start on you then it will get me going." She says, and before I can react she has me pinned to the bed on my back, lifting up my shirt and immediately taking my left nipple into her mouth. I gasp out in surprise mostly, and moan in pleasure when she starts pulling on my other nipple with her fingers. She only stays at my breasts momentarily before kissing a trail down my abdomen. She removes my pajama bottoms and panties, settling herself between my legs as she pushes them apart. She looks up at me before she continues, and the lack of lust in her deep brown orbs hits me hard. She lowers her head and gives me a solid lick from bottom to top, but all it does is make me feel uncomfortable. The thought that she is down there without want, only to do this for me, severely decreases my arousal. I grab her head and attempt to pull her to me.
"Jane." I call out but she continues what she's doing.
"Jane, honey, stop." I say, pulling her head again. This time she stops and looks up at me.
"Please stop, I can't allow you to do this when I know you don't want to. It's okay honey, I think we should just go to bed." I say, suddenly feeling awkward. Jane nods her head and removes herself from between my legs. She gets up and grabs my panties and bottoms, handing them back to me so I can put them on. She gets back into bed and lays down, resting her hands clasped on her stomach, and looks up at the ceiling. I adjust myself before getting settled and move to curl up to her.
"I'm sorry baby, but we'll get it back, just not tonight." I say, kissing her cheek and resting my head on her shoulder. As we lay in silence I begin to think about what to do, and decide to fix this lack of intimacy problem this weekend. A few months ago Jane and I got talking about fantasies and I got her to admit to one of hers. This seems like the best time to act it out for her, hopefully getting that spark back and helping both of us achieve sexual gratification and enhance our marital bond once again. I'm finally able to relax and allow myself to fall asleep knowing I have a plan to fix it. I just hope Jane doesn't beat herself up too bad before it happens. She has been known to do that.
"I love you Jane." I say right before falling to sleep. I hear Jane respond that she loves me too before I'm completely out.
To be continued... And shortly I promise;)