A/N: This chapter edges ever so slightly over T. Somewhere in the T+ to M- area. Contain your glee.
I.
The small courtroom had a broken heater that continuously blasted hot air into the room, which only made John sweat even worse. Sweat beaded on his upper lip and he resisted the urge to wipe with his hand or even lick it off. The judge seemed immune to the heat, her long black and gold robe draped over her small frame as if it were nothing at all. She wore a heavy white wig that John had always thought was a ridiculous tradition, making his own head itch to look at.
Robert had pulled every string and called in every favour he had to get the hearing for today, exactly six weeks to the day after Vera had been served with the initial papers. Unfortunately, Robert had no control over the law itself, in that even if the judge issued a decree nisi on the marriage today, it would be a minimum of six more weeks before the next hearing, which would allow a decree absolute, ending the marriage once and for all. Today was somewhat of a preliminary hearing, a formality.
The judge that Robert had gotten to hear the case had been suddenly called away on a family emergency that morning, and a substitute judge was hearing the case. Robert didn't even try to bite back a curse when he saw a female judge behind the bench that afternoon. He explained in a quick whisper that he feared she would show more sympathy to Vera. John tried not to think about that, hoping that the judge would hear the facts as presented and rule to the letter of the law.
Both Robert and O'Brien presented their respective client's cases to the bench as Her Honour Fulton listened attentively. The only indications she gave as each solicitor spoke was the occasional quick nod or flick of her wrist. John's stomach lurched when she actually gave O'Brien a few brief smiles as she laid out Vera's case against him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Vera was straightening her posture, preening even, as she played the bitter, betrayed wife.
As the complainant, Robert presented John's case first, followed by Vera's rebuttal from O'Brien. She laid out almost exactly the same arguments that she'd had at her office several weeks ago. Vera claimed that John cheated first, that he abandoned her, and was a drunkard.
John glanced over at Vera, who gave him a little smile and wink that made his stomach lurch. He leaned over to Robert and whispered in his ear. "She's got something else," he warned his friend. "Her lawyer is about to drop a bombshell of some sort."
Indeed, O'Brien did have something else. She had plugged her laptop into the court's video system, displaying the screen on the large LCD beside the bench. "Your Honour, if I may show you some of the evidence of Mister Bates's violent tendencies. You'll see from these first photos that he is indeed a violent man." O'Brien opened a folder and loaded the images into a slideshow, the same photos that Robert had shown him before. Him standing over their attacker, arm raised, with Anna screaming behind him. Another where she had her hands on his arm, pulling him away. Yet another that captured his expression as one of maniacal rage as they stumbled away. Then a photo of the moment before the man lunged to attack, as John stood in the light waiting for him to move. Each photo was carefully framed and chosen to make John seem the aggressor. The judge nodded at each photo as she scribbled on a piece of paper.
The judge viewed the photos, waving her hand to indicate to O'Brien to go back and forth through them several times. O'Brien then opened a second folder and brought those images fullscreen. Robert gasped beside him and covered his mouth. John's throat went dry and his heart pounded. There on the screen were several photos of Vera's body, mostly undressed, covered in bruises and scratches. She had dark circles on her wrists, finger marks on her upper arm. Bruises on her ribcage, and an ugly scratch on her breast. Handprints around her neck and a cut to her cheek. O'Brien spoke about each photo in great detail and with a pitying voice as she shook her head in disgust.
John swallowed thickly and leaned over to Robert. "I didn't do that," he whispered hoarsely.
"Are you sure?" Robert asked with raised brows.
"You're actually questioning me?" John snapped. "I swear on my mother's grave and my grandfather's bible, I didn't do that."
Robert nodded and stood, waiting for the judge to allow him to speak. "Your Honour, in light of these photos that my client and I were not made aware of before now, we would like the opportunity to examine them ourselves. My client asserts that he did not cause these marks on Mrs. Bates."
The judge considered it for a moment before nodding. "Miss O'Brien, you will immediately turn over these photos you've shown me and all of the remaining ones you have to Mister Crawley so that he and his client may review them."
O'Brien frowned and smiled slightly. "Your Honour, these are the only photos we have, but I'll be glad to…"
The judge stopped her with a pointing finger as she looked down at her notes. "Don't play me for a fool, Miss O'Brien. In the photos of the fight, the file number sequence was DSC0043, 0058, 0067, and 0082. I'm an amateur photographer and I know quite a bit about how digital photos are handled by the camera. There is a gap between each photo because I suspect you've selectively admitted only the most damning ones. You also had a folder entitled "All" within the master file structure. Please open that for me."
"Your Honour…"
"Do I need to hold you in contempt, Miss O'Brien?" Judge Fulton snapped. "Please open that folder."
With a worried glance at Vera, who was equally troubled by this turn of events, O'Brien opened the folder, revealing hundreds of photos. John could only see thumbnails, but it looked like Vera had been following them throughout the entire day and into the night.
"Mister Crawley or Mister Bates, do either of you have a flash drive on your person?" Fulton then asked.
Robert patted his pants pockets. "I have one on my keychain, Your Honour," he answered.
"Please retrieve the files from Miss O'Brien's computer now," she ordered, waving a guard over to assist Robert with the transfer. "You may examine these photos until the final hearing and submit your rebuttal then."
John was ecstatic about this turn of events, even if it had come at the expense of Vera slandering him in court. However, he was devastated to realize it would be several more weeks before the divorce was finalized. After the file transfer was set up, Robert returned to John's side and waited for the next decree from the judge.
"Now," Fulton began, having put her glasses on and reading from Vera's countersuit. "There is absolutely nothing to stop this divorce from being finalized. We all know that. The issue here is monetary compensation. On the issue of adultery, the only instance that can be proven is the one of the child Mrs. Bates had that was not Mister Bates's. I don't know why you're bringing Miss Anna Smith into the mix. I don't know why she's relevant, as you've been separated for eight years and Mister Bates's relationship with her apparently only began recently. Legally, Mister Bates is free to pursue any sort of relationship with any person he wants, outside of entering into a marriage with them until after this one is terminated."
"The issues of time and abandonment in relation to the marriage are moot. The only leg you have to stand on…" She stopped and glanced at John with a sheepish frown. "If you'll pardon the pun, Mister Bates, the only leg you have to stand on, Mrs. Bates, is the issue of the alleged physical abuse during the marriage. You're claiming this took place before the conception of the child and before Mister Bates left. If that is true, then the argument can be made that Mister Bates broke the marriage first and you could be entitled to compensation, even though you never took the time to file a report with the police, which is highly suspect to me, I must admit." She looked back and forth between John and Vera with a stern frown. "I'm setting the date for the decree absolute to be in six weeks. The clerk will give you a final date and time. Dismissed." She banged her gavel on the bench and stood up as John and Robert scrambled to their own feet. Vera was much slower to rise, and O'Brien looked like she wanted to fall over from where she stood with her laptop in hand.
"Blimey," Robert muttered. "That went better than I thought." He tossed his papers into his briefcase, retrieved his flash drive from the court officer, and nodded for John to follow him out.
John waited until they were out in the hallway and away from Vera and O'Brien before responding. "Except that Vera is claiming that I beat her," John finally replied, shaking his head in disgust. "There has to be some way we can prove those photos are either altered or from a different time."
Robert licked his lips uncomfortably. "Look, I believe you when you say that you weren't abusive. Could these marks be from your...other activities?"
"No," John said sharply. "It wasn't like that." He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. "So how do we go about proving them false?"
Robert pressed his lips together in a thin line and looked down at the floor for a brief moment before grimacing. "You won't like what I have to say," he said slowly.
"After what I've heard today, there's not much that would be worse."
He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Anna needs to see them," Robert said. "I pay her very good money to investigate these things, and she's very good. If anyone can suss it all out, it's her. "
Robert had just managed to make things infinitely worse.
II.
Anna glanced at the little clock in the upper corner of her screen again, sighing when she realized it was only four minutes after she'd last looked at it. She knew that John's hearing had been today and was eagerly awaiting any word from him or Robert. It was now ten past four, and the office closed at five. She was hoping for a phone call at the very least, but as time dragged on, her optimism faded.
She took a quick sip from a water bottle that had long since gone warm, the liquid not even beginning to quench her thirst. It was hard to concentrate when your immediate future was on the line. Would the judge grant John his divorce without question? The letter of the law dictated that it should happen that way. The only caveat was if Vera managed to throw some sort of unexpected wrench into the works, fouling everything up.
Her desk phone buzzed, the panel indicating it was from reception. Her stomach lurched and she answered before the second ring. "Yes?" she said quickly.
"You wanted to know when Robert got back?" Ethel said in a low voice. "Well, he is."
"Thank you," Anna almost stammered, dropping the phone into its cradle with a clatter and dashing out to the hallway.
Only Robert stood there, talking to Mary and Matthew. He glanced at Anna and his expression was anything but triumphant. He said a few more words to the others and started down the hallway toward her, shaking his head in resignation.
"How did it go?" Anna asked hesitantly, wringing her fingers together nervously.
"Almost worse than you can imagine," she heard John call from down the hall.
Her heart leapt in her chest and she smiled despite herself, taking in the sight of him. He wore a charcoal suit and blue tie, and his expression was one of great weariness. She didn't think she had ever seen him so forlorn. She took two steps toward him and stopped, biting her lip in uncertainty.
He did offer her a weak smile and opened his arms as he approached, which she gladly stepped into. Robert moved out of the way, purposely looking everywhere but at the two of them. Anna tightened her arms around John's middle, willing herself not to cry. After not seeing him for five weeks and only talking to him on the phone a handful of times, to have him here and real and so warm and solid against her was almost too much to bear. She buried her face in his jacket and inhaled deeply, flooding herself with his scent. They stood together for several seconds, rocking slightly in each other's arms, until Robert cleared his throat.
"Perhaps we should…" he offered, nodding toward Anna's open office door.
She and John disengaged themselves from each other, with John reaching up to gently stroke her cheek for an all too brief moment before wordlessly turning and following Robert into her office. Anna brought up the rear, closing the door behind her. John sat down heavily on the long leather sofa, bringing his leg up to rest along its length. Robert took one of the chairs, and Anna slowly made her way around to her desk.
"So I'm guessing it's not over?" she said in a flat voice as she lowered herself into her chair.
John only shook his head no, rubbing his hand across his afternoon stubble.
"So Vera found a way to stop the divorce?"
"No, she can't stop it," Robert said, his jaw working back and forth slowly. "The judge agrees there's no grounds to keep the marriage going. We have a hearing the first of April to get a decree absolute."
Anna was confused. She looked between John and Robert, neither of them meeting her eyes. "Then what's the issue here? You said things went terribly."
Robert looked to John, who was clearly upset, his eyes red and puffy. John finally took a deep breath and met her eyes. "Vera is claiming that I abused her. That I beat her to the point of bruising her. She has photos."
"What?" Anna uttered in horror, recoiling slightly.
John's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Anna, I never laid a hand on her. She's making it all up. The judge has her suspicions, I think, but Vera is claiming that I abused her before I found out she was pregnant with Nigel, and that would mean that I was the one who broke the marriage first. She's trying to get half of my military retirement, plus the past eight years of retroactive payments."
Anna swallowed thickly and nodded, looking away from him. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him sit up and raise an imploring hand to her. "I never laid a hand on her," he repeated earnestly. "I'm not…" He stopped and ducked his head briefly before looking up again. "I'm not my father. I was never so drunk that I would hurt someone, especially not her, no matter how vile things were between us."
She nodded slowly, pressing her lips together. She turned back and met his glassy eyes, so expressive with remorse and fear. "I know you didn't," she decided. She passed one hand over her eyes, sweeping a lock of hair that had fallen back behind her ear. "So what do we do about it? Because I'm not going to let her get away with tearing you apart any more than she already has." Vera may have had him first, but she had him now, and she was going to fight tooth and nail to assure that she didn't smear him in any way. His fight was now her fight as well, whether he wanted her in the ring with him or not.
John seemed to be grateful and his shoulders actually lifted a little, as if the burden of telling her about Vera's allegations had been weighing him down.
Robert spoke up as he reached into his pocket and removed his keys and unclipped a small flash drive. "The judge ordered that we receive the photos as well, so that we may examine them." He frowned distastefully. "The photos of her alleged abuse are here, as well as all of the ones she took the day she was following you around."
Anna's eyes widened as she held out her hand for the flash drive. "Even the ones where she was looking into my window?" She plugged the drive into her computer and waited for it to load.
"Even those," Robert replied.
"The fight as well," John added with a snort. "She was trying to say that the fight was proof that I was a vicious animal, or some such nonsense. The good thing is, we can turn those over to the police to use in their investigation."
Anna stood up and brought her laptop around to sit down on the sofa beside John as he swung his leg down to the floor to make room for her. She set the computer down on the small coffee table in front of her and leaned forward. Robert pulled his chair up as they all watched the photos download into her computer. Finally, all three hundred odd images were copied over and Anna hovered over the thumbnails of the alleged abuse photos.
"Alright then," she began, moving the photos around efficiently and with practiced ease. She opened her pixel analysis program and waited for all of the photos to load. "Without having to look too far, I can see that they stripped the metadata from the files."
"Meaning?" John said as he leaned forward on his elbows.
"All digital photos essentially have a fingerprint. When it was taken, what sort of camera, lighting information, et cetera. These were cropped and saved as new files with new names, without that information. That means we can't tell when they were taken. And by the looks of it, they were also shrunk a bit as well, so we can't say that they were or were not taken with a newer camera."
She was on a roll and in her element here. She'd run through this sort of process hundreds of times with her old firm, looking for discrepancies with evidential photos. Most of the time it was the sort of thing that the police tended to sort out, but she rather enjoyed doing some of the work herself, analyzing and picking things apart. She'd managed to prove the police themselves wrong on a few occasions. The pixel analysis wasn't giving her any hits either, meaning that the images had not been altered in a program like Photoshop, other than cropping and a little exposure correction.
The photos were actually quite graphic, and she truthfully felt rather sorry for Vera. Whether she'd inflicted these injuries herself or someone else had done them to her, they looked quite painful. Her stomach turned at some of the more detailed photos of Vera's breasts and groin area. John actually had his eyes covered with one hand as she flipped from photo to photo, looking for anything that could help exonerate him.
"Did she have a tattoo when you were together?" Anna asked, stopping on one photo of Vera's upper arm and shoulder.
John nodded and uncovered his eyes. "Yes, actually. A butterfly on her left shoulder," he said, leaning forward and examining the photo. "In fact, last time I saw it, that butterfly was just a black outline. See there?" He pointed at the wing that was barely in frame. "It's been coloured in. She must have done that later." He barked a quick laugh and rubbed his hand over his eyes. "There we go. That should do it, right?"
"Not necessarily," Robert chimed in. "We need something a bit more concrete. Unless you can produce a receipt of when she had it done, of course."
Anna nodded silently and continued to scroll through the photos, stopping at one in particular. Vera had taken this one in a mirror, and she could see the room behind her as a result. "John, this isn't anywhere you lived, right?" she asked.
He looked at the photo for a moment before leaning back again. "Not that I can tell. I never could have slept in a lavender bedroom, for starters. That's just ghastly looking."
She smiled sidelong at him and nudged him with her elbow. "You don't like lavender. I'll keep that in mind for later," she quipped. She zoomed in on a bookcase reflected in the mirror, trying to make out any of the titles. Finally seeing one that she recognized, she stopped and snorted, shaking her head in disbelief.
"What?" John asked sharply.
"She's not as smart as she thinks she is." Anna smiled and pointed at the book in question. "That right there is Fifty Shades. It came out only a couple years ago. There's your proof that these were taken within the past two years or so."
"What's Fifty Shades?" he asked in confusion.
Anna winced and ducked her head a bit. "It's an erotic novel, about a...dominating and submissive sort of relationship. Ethel tried to get me to read it, but I couldn't get past the first chapter. There's much better written stuff out there than that for free."
John's eyes widened and he licked his lips. She stuck an interesting nerve apparently. "She would probably enjoy that sort of book, yes," he said in a rush, looking away.
Robert slapped his knee in triumph. "Anna, I'd kiss you myself if I wasn't worried about John knocking my teeth in."
John heaved a sigh of relief and threw his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in to kiss her temple. Anna giggled and laid her hand on his knee. John covered her hand with his own and gave it a squeeze.
Robert stood up and spread his arms wide. "Well, there it is. That's all the proof we need. I'll file that bit of information with the court tomorrow. I don't think I'll tell O'Brien about it though. I'd rather see her face when I pull that out of my hat at the hearing." He reached out and shook John's hand vigorously. "I'll leave you two. I'm sure you'd like a little time to catch up, and quite frankly, I'd rather not have to see or hear you going at it." He gave them both a jaunty wave and left them alone.
John and Anna both rolled their eyes as she closed her laptop, not wanting to look another second at the photos. Instead, she would much rather look at John, who apparently had the same notion. She grinned broadly and reached up to stroke his cheek, the short stubble of the day scraping across her fingertips. "I've missed you so," she breathed.
He exhaled and took her hand, kissing the backs of her fingers. "Me too," he replied. He shifted so that they could sit much closer together and drew her into his side.
She looked up at him expectantly and he lowered his head to meet her lips in a soft, sensual kiss that sent her entire insides spinning. It was over far too soon as John drew away, his reluctance clear in his eyes. Anna sighed and pulled her lips inward, tasting the faint essence of him. "Six more weeks, huh?" she asked, her voice breaking slightly.
He hung his head down low and nodded. "Rob couldn't circumvent the law any more than he already had," he said. He drew away from her, shifting so that his arm was still around her, but in a much less intimate embrace. "I had to kiss you though, because I don't think I could have stood not to right now. Soon though. There won't be a single thing standing in our way, not even God."
Anna understood, but rolled her eyes despite herself. He was hung up on the notion of adultery still, no matter how he'd managed to rationalize it away. Until he was one hundred percent free of Vera, he still had that hanging over his head. She respected his beliefs, but damn it all if they weren't infuriating at times. "Just so you know," she told him under no uncertain terms, "when all of this is finalized and you're free, you'll need to watch out. We won't have any restrictions anymore other than that big one we talked about last week."
John actually blushed a deep pink, his eyes darkening and nostrils flaring. His fingers came up to brush the hairline along the back of her neck slowly, sending chills up and down her entire body. "We'll see who needs to watch out," he promised with a little smile and waggle of his brows. He glanced at his watch and sighed. "I wish I could stay all afternoon, but I have a six o'clock service tonight."
Anna stood when he did, loving that his arm naturally slinked around her waist as they headed for the door. "I suppose it's too much to hope that I'll see you tomorrow?" she lamented. She'd really hoped that all of this would be over today, as tomorrow was Valentine's Day, and it would have been the best gift he could have ever gotten her.
He groaned and threw his head back in disappointment. "I have no idea how I can make it work," he breathed, reaching up to gently stroke both of her upper arms. "I actually have five weddings to perform tomorrow. Eleven, twelve-thirty, two, three, and five. It will be a cattle call at Downton. A regular old English Vegas. Charles Carson is heading up the rehearsals right now. I'll try though. God knows I'll try."
Anna snorted and rubbed her hand across the tip of her nose. "Well if we can't see each other, I guess I'll have to settle for talking to you tomorrow night then," she said in resignation. "Same time?"
John smiled and nodded. "Let's see what tomorrow brings us. I may have something already set into motion anyway." He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, but Anna turned her head before he moved away and caught his lips with her own for a brief second. He raised one brow at her in mock admonishment before leaning in again and kissing her fully on the mouth. Again, they managed to keep things chaste, but she felt that heady need for more.
"Talk to you tomorrow," Anna sighed as he opened the door. "Drive carefully. I love you." The last two sentences were thrown out quickly, rolling off the tongue naturally now.
He winked and whispered, "I love you too," right back at her before closing the door behind him.
Anna turned and pressed her back against the door, closing her eyes. Honestly, six more weeks before she could have her bloody way with him? She had better be earning her spot in heaven for this.
III.
Evening services went as evening services tended to go. Downton was a relatively small parish with few faithful who attended weeknight services, so his evening ended fairly early. He was glad for this, because even as the word of God rolled off his tongue at the altar, his thoughts were with Anna. He was having an internal struggle with himself over his desire for her versus the laws of God and man. On one hand, his marriage to Vera was effectively over, save for a single signature on a dotted line, a mere formality. On the other, he struggled with the notion that he was technically still married. At the pearly gates, there would be a little asterisk beside his name and he would have to explain himself to Saint Peter. His talk with Anthony Strallan had alleviated his concerns greatly, but there was still that niggling doubt at the back of his mind.
He didn't know that he could wait six more weeks though.
John sat on the edge of his bed, saying his nightly prayers, and asking for guidance. He lusted after Anna, body and soul. He knew that she was everything he could ever have hoped or prayed for in a woman. He fisted his bedspread in his hand as pious thoughts turned to improper ones, as he imagined the two of them writhing together exactly where he sat. He took several deep breaths to steady himself, but it did no good. Sex was indeed a part of the human condition, and he was feeling his humanity all too clearly at the moment.
He carefully slid from the bed to the floor, taking caution with his aching knee, having shed the prosthetic a while ago. He turned and folded his hands together, bowing his head in prayer. "Father, I ask your guidance and I beg for your forgiveness," he whispered. "I am a flawed man, but I am and shall always remain your faithful servant. I pray for you to guide and protect Anna, my love and my light, and shelter us both in your divine hand." He stopped and opened his eyes briefly, staring at the fabric of the bedspread. "I beg you for some sign that I may love her without reservation, but not with haste. I ask these blessings in your name, Amen."
John sighed and pulled himself back onto the bed, closing his eyes and laying back against the pillow. His hand lay across his chest, the feel of his own heart beating steady against his palm.
A loud buzzing sound startled him out of his weariness and he reached for the phone beside him on the nightstand.
Sweet dreams. I love you.
He gasped as a broad smile overtook his face. Anna. He had to laugh at her timing and fired off a quick I love you too. Goodnight. Talk to you tomorrow. before setting the phone down again.
This was the second time that he'd been doubting his love for her and had his fears dashed by a text message. Apparently that was how God communicated these days. He'd asked for a sign, and he got one.
God had given them His blessing.
IV.
Valentine's Day had always been a day that she never particularly cared about one way or the other. She'd had boyfriends on the day before, but it always worked out that one or both of them had to work the entire day at the time, and neither of the guys were very gifted in the romance department. Marcus's idea of romance was to bring his guy friends over to watch a football match on television so she could have a girls night out with their girlfriends, none of whom she cared for anyway. And Steven completely forgot the day both times in the two years they were together, then hit up the shops for seventy-five percent off candy and trinkets the next day, claiming he was being thrifty. Honestly, with men like those in her life, it was no wonder she didn't really have much hope for the day, despite John being in her life now.
So she was pleasantly surprised when she arrived at work at nine o'clock to find two white roses on her desk, neatly arranged in vase far too large for their spindly stems. She smiled as her heart skipped a beat. She opened the attached card and saw John's now familiar handwriting.
To our new beginning. - J
Anna frowned and tapped the card against her palm, staring at the perfectly formed snow white roses in the vase. It was old and delicate, not something that a florist would likely have in their shop, so he must have brought it by this morning before she arrived. She smiled and brushed one of the roses against her nose, inhaling the musky and somewhat sharp smell of the buds. She set her shoulderbag down and took off her coat, ready to get to work.
At five minutes past ten, there was a knock on her door, and she got up to answer it. A young woman in a Jones Floral uniform held a single long-stemmed yellow rose. "Miss Smith?" At Anna's nod, she smiled and handed her the rose. "Have a nice day," she said as she tipped her cap and walked away.
Anna chuckled and turned the rose in her hand before returning to her desk. She regarded the vase for a moment and slid the yellow rose in with the two white ones. It stuck out like a sore thumb, but she couldn't just leave it out all alone. She smiled at it for a few moments and returned to her work.
At exactly 10:59, there was another knock, courtesy of an older man in the uniform of a different floral delivery service. After confirming who she was, he handed her another yellow rose, this time with a note attached.
To our friendship and happiness. - J
She was beginning to get a notion where this could be heading, but she resisted the urge to run to Google for the meanings of rose colours. Her next two roses, delivered at noon and one, were a pale lavender, with a note that said, I know we agreed to no lavender, but these were nearly as enchanting as you, so I couldn't resist them either. - J
Two and three o'clock brought pink roses and To the joy I didn't know I was missing in my life. - J. Four and five were a deep orangey coral, their message, To a desire that burns stronger with each day. - J
At five minutes to six, Anna was already in the hallway waiting for her next delivery. She tapped her feet nervously and glanced at her watch every few seconds. After a fifteen minutes, she finally frowned and went back into her office to stare at the ten perfect blooms in a veritable rainbow of hues. She waited another few minutes and sighed at how silly she was being. John had made quite the grand romantic gesture, something that had required a great deal of planning and thought, and she was feeling empty now that it seemed to have run its course.
Her phone buzzed and startled her, and she bit back a little curse before answering it. "Yes?" she snapped, not meaning to sound so sharp.
"Anna, can you come up front for a moment?" Ethel asked over the phone. "Before we close the lobby."
"Yeah, I was just on my way out, actually," Anna replied before hanging up. She closed her laptop and stuffed it into her bag, then put on her coat and turned out the light to her office. She remembered to grab the vase at the last second, carefully tucking it under her arm. The sun was almost down, so the lobby was darker than normal. She rounded the corner to the front desk and leaned against the counter, setting the vase down on the granite surface. "What's up?" she asked Ethel tiredly.
Ethel only pursed her lips and nodded toward the door. Anna followed her eyes and almost fell over from shock. John stood there with two red roses in his right hand, his left tucked behind his back. His smile competed with hers as she laughed in delight and crossed the lobby to meet him, drinking in the sight of him in a dark suit and red tie. His hair was slicked back somewhat with that one unruly lock that tended to flop forward no matter how he styled it.
"Hi," Anna said breathlessly.
"Hello," John replied, his cheeks shining from the tight grin he held. He extended his arm to offer her the two red roses, their stems intertwined and bound with a matching red ribbon. "To complete the set," he explained.
Anna ducked her head as a sudden wave of shyness overtook her, and she took the roses with one hand while the other fussed with her hair. "I was beginning to wonder," she said.
"You have no idea how much I was sweating getting over here in time," John said in a rush, seeming a little out of breath as he spoke. "My five o'clock wedding didn't go as planned. I had just enough time to get to the house and change before rushing over here."
Anna tapped the braided stems with her finger, intrigued by their swirling pattern and the inherent meaning of their joined lengths. "No speeding tickets on the way, I hope?" she joked.
John laughed and nodded over his shoulder. "I didn't drive. Hand me your bag, and let's get out of here."
Anna was very curious now, and she let him take her shoulder bag and went back to the counter to get the vase, sliding the red roses in with their companions.
"Wish someone would get me some bloody roses like that sometime," Ethel bemoaned, rolling her eyes as she filed one of her fingernails. She glanced at John and leaned over closer to Anna. "He's a bit old, isn't he? Not really what I imagined."
Anna bit back a smart remark about Ethel's own choice in men, being as she seemed to have a new boyfriend at least three times a year, which was hardly a stable environment for her son Charlie. She'd been on a bit of a spiral ever since the boy's father died years ago, and only now was she beginning to right herself. She hadn't even been in a serious relationship with him and he initially denied the boy as his. He'd only begun to come around to the idea of fatherhood a few weeks before he died. Charlie had never known him.
Anna shrugged. "Young at heart is what they say," she countered.
Ethel gave John the once over and rolled her eyes again. "Young at heart only goes so far if the rest of him ain't young enough to keep up," she said.
"Not that it's any of your concern, Miss," John said from across the lobby, apparently not having any difficulties with his hearing. "But the rest of me has no issues with keeping up." He had a little twinkle in his eyes that made Anna blush from head to toe.
Ethel snorted and went back to her nail file. "Right. You go on and have fun, while I go and get Charlie from his grandparents and heat up some microwave chicken nuggets."
Anna sighed. Ethel was a good worker and a decent friend, but when she buried herself in a cycle of self-loathing, she was difficult to be around. She told her friend goodnight and returned to John, who was still patiently waiting by the elevator. He extended his elbow to her and she took it, leading him into the glass elevator and pushing the button for the bottom floor.
When the doors opened, Anna could see what he meant about not having driven himself. Tom Branson stood in front of a black limo out front, smiling as they emerged from the building and opening the door for them.
"Are you kidding me right now?" Anna gasped, looking up at John in disbelief.
"I told you my five o'clock didn't go as planned?" John reminded her. "The bride never showed up."
"I have the evening free until nine," Tom added. "I have another pickup tonight, but until then, the car is yours. The vicar has gotten me quite a bit of business the past few weeks, so it's on the house."
Anna made an exaggerated expression of surprise and carefully ducked into the open door of the limo, with John climbing in after her. She tucked the vase behind her bag on the floor as Tom closed the door behind them, effectively leaving them very alone in a rather luxurious vehicle. It wasn't nearly as gaudy as the limo she and her girlfriends had rented once in college, with its garish purple interior and flashing lights. This one was class all the way, with plush black leather seats, woodgrain trim, and subdued lighting.
John wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, burying his nose in the hair above her ear. "I'd hoped that everything would have been done today and we could celebrate properly, but I suppose this will have to do for now."
"Do for now?" Anna echoed him, leaning into him and smoothing his tie. "We need to talk about your idea of scale here."
John laughed and covered her hand on his chest as the limo pulled away from the curb. "Well, with such short notice, I fell short on getting us dinner reservations, so I hope you'll forgive me for that. The jilted groom offered the hors d'oeuvres over there," he said, gesturing to a pair of covered trays. "He's not using them. I figure we could have a grand little picnic, just you and I. And Tom, though he's been told to leave the window up front closed. We're just going to let him drive around aimlessly while we take advantage of the privacy."
Anna felt her entire body turn hot at the implication of what he just said, and actually squirmed in her seat a little. John seemed to sense her slight unease and rubbed her shoulder gently. Again, she cursed the court system for dragging things out longer than either of them wanted and willed herself to put on a cheerful smile. After all, her Valentine's Day thus far had been more terrific than she could have hoped for, given their circumstances. The grand gesture of carefully selected and timed flowers was probably the most romantic thing she could have imagined today, short of running off to a tropical island together. Her free hand drifted down to touch the very tips of the red roses secure on the floor below her feet. "So," she said, her mouth suddenly parched. "Was there a card to go along with the red ones? Because I'm dying to know."
John only smiled, his entire face warm with affection. He reached into the inner pocket of his blazer and withdrew a white folded card, passing it to her between two fingers. Anna took it with eagerly trembling hands and opened the fine linen envelope, sliding the handwritten card out.
To our love, to the beauty of today, the promise of all our tomorrows,
and the blessings that God has given us. - J
Ugly, mascara ruining tears fell from her eyes as she read the note over and over, finally dropping it to her lap and launching herself up at him. John grunted in surprise as her lips caught his, her hand sliding up his chest to slip around the back of his neck and find the place where hair met skin. She threaded her fingers through the soft darkness as he practically pulled her onto his lap. Her skirt hitched up, revealing a good deal of leg, and she really didn't give a damn at all. She scrambled to slide her knee over his thick thighs and straddled him without hesitation. His own arms slipped around her waist to pull her closer.
John groaned into her mouth as their tongues rolled and pushed against each other. Anna dug one finger under the knot of his tie and sawed her hand back and forth to loosen it without breaking their heated kisses. His hands, which had been gently resting on her waist, began to explore, one pulling her blouse up in the back and finding the skin of her lower back underneath. The other slid down to boldly grasp at her exposed upper thigh, sliding under the hem of her skirt, the heat of his palm searing her skin.
Things were quickly spiraling out of anything resembling control, she realized as she rocked her hips forward slightly and was met with a very insistent hardness under his suit trousers. Both of them gasped at the contact and broke away from each other long enough to glance into each others eyes. John's were wide and dark, primal almost, full of questions and uncertainty. Anna hoped that her answer, which was to lean in and begin kissing him anew, was enough to assure him.
Hands roamed and squeezed through layers of clothes, seeking out skin to tease. When his hands skirted up her sides to graze the sides of her breasts, she whimpered and tossed her head back, giving him the opportunity to tease her neck with his lips and teeth. One of his hands was splayed against the small of her back, pulling her to him, as the other pulled at her hair, giving him better access to her sensitive neck. She shifted slightly forward and found that hardness again, this time not shying away from it as she did before. The sound he made was somewhere between a gasp and a growl and he lifted his hips instinctively against her. Her fingers were just unbuttoning the third button of his shirt and delighting in the sparse hairs she found beneath when the limo suddenly jumped like a bomb had gone off under it, sending Anna flying off John's lap and onto the floor. She shrieked in surprise and John reached for her immediately, pulling her back up into the seat beside him.
The intercom beeped and Tom's voice came over the little speaker. "Sorry! Hit a nasty pothole! Hope you're not too shaken up back there." The intercom beeped again in a lower tone as he turned it off.
Something had changed in the air in that moment and Anna found herself smoothing out her blouse and pulling her skirt back down to a proper length. John leaned forward with his head between his knees, eyes closed. He tousled his hair with one hand and took a shuddering breath.
"Jesus Christ," he muttered, breathing heavily.
Anna was taken a bit aback by his epithet, suddenly remembering that he was still a man of the cloth, despite being a man with needs and desires as well. And by the look on his face, he was having the same realization. She silently reached out and smoothed her hand across his broad shoulders.
He relaxed a bit and smiled, finally looking up and over at her from his lower position. "Before I say anything else, can I just say wow?" he rasped.
Anna giggled and crossed her legs demurely, both instantly regretting that decision as her entire center was burning with desire. The last thing she needed right now was that delicious pressure. It was also all she could focus on, the only thing she needed. She bit her lip and forced herself to relax, despite the thrums her body was feeling.
John pulled at his mouth with one large hand and shifted to sit back, pointedly covering himself with his coat. "That...that wasn't supposed to happen," he said finally. "Not tonight anyway. I'm a vicar. I'm supposed to have more self control than that."
She felt a bit dejected at his words and turned away to look out the window into the night. Tom seemed to just be driving around in circles through the countryside, not that it really mattered anyway.
"Anna?"
"Do you regret it?" she asked tentatively.
"No," John replied, reaching over to take her hand. He vigorously rubbed it with his own before lacing their fingers together. "It's just...I let myself get carried away in the moment."
"We both did, I think," Anna said giving him a weak smile. "Don't blame yourself alone."
He frowned and looked upward, seeming to be looking either for guidance or the proper way to explain things. "You see, I came to terms with the divorce. The fact that the judge said that it will happen regardless of anything she tries means that it's effectively over, save for signing a bit of paper in a few weeks. It lifted a huge weight from my soul. I've prayed on it quite a bit, and I swear I'm not talking with my...friend...down below in mind. I was prepared for a little bit of kissing, maybe a little more, but that…"
Anna looked over at him sharply, narrowing her eyes. "Are you saying it was a bad thing? Because I don't."
"Not at all," he said, smiling at her. "That was a wonderful thing, just not something to be done in the back of a limousine hurtling through the night at a hundred kilometers per hour. Perhaps it's best that we did hit that bump in the road, because I know I was approaching a certain point of no return."
Anna swallowed and blinked several times. "I was too," she admitted. She'd begun imagining sliding her hand further south and opening the front of his trousers and seeing what was inside. Even now, the image in her mind of both of them taking their ultimate pleasure in each other was making her breathing a big ragged. She made herself take a few steady breaths to calm herself. She slid a bit closer and John wrapped his arm around her. She tucked her head into his shoulder and sighed. "I think it will be very difficult to step back from that precipice again and far too easy to just take that next step." She sighed and took his hand from its place in his lap. "The more I think about it, the more I know I want to wait, you see. I lost track of that just now."
"Darling, whatever you feel comfortable with, I'll gladly support."
"That's the thing though," Anna replied, looking up into his warm eyes, so wise and kind. "Here we are, you being a vicar, and I'm the one who is making sure to reel us both in. I don't want you to feel like you're going against God in some way, or...or even sinning. When we get to that point, I want us to both know that it's the right thing, and that it's the right time, that we're truly for each other, for good and proper. I don't want any regrets, any second guessing. I don't want the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost in our bedroom, looking down and judging us because we can't control ourselves."
John chuckled and leaned his head backward against the headrest. "This sounds like a speech the nuns gave us when we were teenagers. 'Jesus is watching you, boys,'" he said in a falsetto voice.
"I'm serious, John!" Anna said with a little laugh and a swat at his arm. "Like you said, practice what you preach. It's lovely that the church has become so modern, but I don't think they would condone what almost happened just now."
He nodded slowly, staring out the window away from her. When he turned back, his eyes shone with unshed tears. "Thank you for keeping me on the right path, Anna. And you're right, when the time is right, and we're ready to stand before God and the entire world, it will be worth it. You're worth it."
Anna smiled and leaned up to give him a quick kiss, which he gladly returned. She sighed happily and traced the back of his hand with her index finger. "I have one last thing to say on the subject before we raid that tray of food over there, because I'm starving."
"What's that?"
"Like you said before, wow." She glanced downward toward his lap, which seemed to have gone back to a normal state of being. "I know now that you won't have any issues with keeping up, so to speak."
John surprised her by dipping his head to catch her earlobe between his lips playfully before whispering into her ear. "I think you'll be the one who's in trouble when we get to that point," he husked against the sensitive shell of her ear.
Her entire body involuntarily shivered, making them both giggle. She was well and thoroughly committed to him now, as if there had been any real doubt. It was just a matter of time.