Chapter 20

"Thump thump thump..."

'What is that?'

The raven haired boy thought, wondering from where this soft beat was coming.

"Thump thump thump..."

The calm echoes of the same beat made Hibari ponder of whether he was dreaming.

'It's warm...'

He deemed and gradually opened his eyes to find the source of the sound.

As soon as the young boy was able to see, he instantly noticed that he was resting his head on someone's body, rapidly rose himself and stared at his roommate's sleeping face terrified.

"Mi dispiace Sawada-san... non fumerò più..." (trans/I'm sorry Sawada-san... I won't smoke again)

A smirk was drawn on the Cloud Guardian's face as he heard Gokudera's words.

'He's sleep talking again.'

He thought and then looked around him.

'I suppose...'

He stared back at the smoke bomber's closed eyes.

'...If I rest for a little while on him... he won't ever find out...'

He happily smiled at his realization and slowly let his head land on the other's chest again.

'This feeling... It will make my chest break.'

Hibari's heart was going crazy, beating in an extremely fast rate, yet the more the Italian boy was sleep talking, the more relieved the first was feeling. The superior student didn't reckon at all at how absurd his action was and instead, he remained above the other's chest with his eyes open, wishing to enjoy this moment with all his senses.

Eventually, the Cloud Guardian moved his right hand steadily, and slowly wrapped it around his roommate's body.

'...He won't ever find out...'

He repeated satisfied and let himself be engulfed in this desirable and enchanted sensation.

'I wonder if he feels that way about the weakling...'

His question forced a heavy burden on him that tried to violate his heart and mind.

'I wonder if they've slept together like this...'

No matter how much it hurt him, Hibari couldn't help but think realistically.

"Non essere così strano, Hibari." (trans/Hibari don't be so weird)

The young boy jerked at the other's words.

"Grazie. A volte sai essere un buon amico."(trans/Thanks. You can be a good friend at times)

'He's talking about me in his sleep?'

He softly smiled.

'Why am I so happy about it?'

He wondered, yet the smile wouldn't withdraw from his lips.

'I don't care... He's mine for the time being...'

He deemed satisfied and deeply inhaled from his nose, letting the smoke bomber's odour fill in his lungs.

'He doesn't have the tobacco smell...'

He inhaled one more time and then gently kissed Gokudera's chest.

'I'm so happy... I don't remember ever being so happy before.'

Even though the young boy always denied his compulsive emotions, this time he didn't even bother to contemplate as to why he was so honest about them.

"Hibari! !"

A sudden scream that came out of the room made the Cloud Guardian widen his eyes shocked.

"Hibari! Open up!"

The scream was of someone Hibari knew all too well and the loud knocks that followed made him understand that he had to get up.

"Hibari! I'm coming in!"

The principal shouted, yet the raven haired boy was unable to move.

'What's happening?'

He thought terrified as his body had been immobilized, feeling like he was being controlled by the powerful shop owner again.

"He's here!"

Much to Hibari's surprise that man's voice was heard and then quick steps followed.

"Hibari? ? What are you doing? !"

The raven haired boy was afraid he was going crazy and the principal, along with the shop owner were staring intensely at him.

"I asked you what you're doing! !"

Her ear piercing scream forced the balcony's glass door to scatter and its million pieces spread all over the floor.

"Wait until you hear what else he has done..."

The old man said while smirking and Hibari could feel tears filling his eyes but still was unable to move.

"Hibari! !"

"Wake up!"

The woman's loud voice was overpowered by a, as if three-dimensional voice.

"Wake up!"

The voice repeated and the Cloud Guardian was able to feel warm tears running down his face.

"Hibari! Wake up!"

Suddenly Hibari opened his eyes and as he rose his body violently, his head met up with Gokudera's, forcing him to lie on the bed again, this time in pain.

"W-what..."

The head of the Disciplinary Committee mumbled, confused by his dream and placed his hand on his forehead, where the impact with his roommate had been caused.

"Are you okay? ? You... You scared the hell out of me! You were making these weird noises like a puppy being in pain and then you started crying, mumbling I-can't-move, she's-gonna-know or something..."

Gokudera said all in one breath, as his shock by Hibari's actions was greater than the pain on his chin where Hibari had unwillingly hit him.

"I... was crying?"

The raven haired boy spelled in disbelief and touched his cheeks with his hands, only to feel them wet.

"Yeah! I was trying to wake you up for way too long! What the fuck were you dreaming about?"

"I..."

Hibari who was still baffled by his horrible nightmare, was trying to distinguish which part of his dream was a dream and which part (if any) had actually occurred.

"Is this reality?"

He asked and the smoke bomber stared bewildered at his disorientated roommate.

"Do you have a fever?"

Gokudera uttered and then moved his head towards Hibari's and placed his lips on the second's forehead.

'This must be a dream...'

The raven haired boy thought dazed.

"You aren't hot."

The Storm Guardian finally said as he returned to his previous body position.

"Why did you do this?"

Hibari asked, trying to comprehend with what was happening.

"I checked your body temperature. My nannies did it that way."

'Nannies?'

The head of the Disciplinary Committee was feeling utterly confused.

"Is this reality?"

He asked again.

"Ah... As far as I know. Unless I'm having some messed up dream like the one you did."

"What time is it?"

Hibari asked and as he raised his body, supporting his back on the wall, he covered his face with his sleeves in order to dry himself from the previous tears, showing a completely indifferent expression whatsoever.

"It's nine am. Oh by the way, the principal came in earlier... that bitch was knocking on the door like a maniac... and asked me to tell you to meet up with her at eleven am. I was going to wake you up at ten but I couldn't let you die in your sleep. What kind of dream were you having anyway?"

After the last night's discussion Gokudera was more intimate with his roommate, unconsciously feeling like they shared something common.

"Wait, the principal came here?"

Hibari widened his eyes at the other's words.

"Y-yeah..."

Gokudera stuttered, wondering if he had said something wrong.

"And what was I doing when she came?"

He asked again, still trying to figure reality from dream.

"You were sleeping."

"Alone?"

"Wha- What the hell do you mean? It's just us two in the room, so if I opened the door, with whom would you be sleeping?"

"A-ah right..."

The words came out numb as the Cloud Guardian finally realized that everything was just a dream.

"What time did you wake up?"

"At eight, when the principal came. Then I couldn't sleep."

"Did she ask what I was doing?"

"No. What's up with all the questions? ?"

Gokudera's shout brought Hibari back to reality and with no further words the raven haired boy stood up and headed towards the lavatory.

"Um... If you need anything I'll be here."

The smoke bomber said, a bit uncertain of his own words.

'Ah, I might as well take advantage of this...'

He didn't waste any time, took the packet of cigars from his suitcase and exited the room, staring at the morning view from the balcony.

'He seems different.'

The Storm Guardian lighted his cigarette and took a long drag from it.

'Maybe it's because of the who-knows-what fucked up dream he had, but he doesn't seem so indifferent when talking to me.'

He reckoned as the smoke escaped from his mouth, not realizing that he was actually the one seeing through Hibari's simulative apathy.

'Even yesterday... He seemed more loosen up with me. But that's not a bad thing, right?'

Gokudera scratched his temple, trying to understand his roommate's different behavior.

'I wonder if he considers us friends...'

Another long inhale of his bittersweet addiction filled his lungs with nicotine.

'Does he even know the meaning of friendship? Did he ever have friends?'

He sighed troubled.

'Maybe... with the boy he kissed... Damn, what sort of a guy would entangle himself in a love relationship with him? The Disciplinary freak... heh... Not anymore...'

The smoke bomber chuckled at his realization, deeming that the one who supposedly disciplined the students wasn't so obedient after all.

'But why would he deny love so blindly? No matter how tough he thinks he is, love is all around him, it's impossible not to feel it...! Moreover, it's the first emotion we feel as infants; love for the one who brought us into this world...'

The Italian boy deemed melancholically, thinking about things he was quite often avoiding to think about, as faint memories of his mother emerged into his mind.

'I wish I could remember that...'

Gokudera instantly thought of how much pain his mother had been through in his birth, just so that he'd be forcefully taken away from her.

"I miss you... so much..."

He stared at the bright sky, hoping that she could hear his painful whisper...

In the meantime the head of the Disciplinary Committee had supported his hands on the washbowl and was intensely glaring at himself in the mirror. All kind of questions had resided in his thoughts, making it impossible for him to concentrate on only one. However, among these questions there was something else, something different that was trying to cloud all of his questions and feed off his concentration: a realization. Hibari didn't have to ask himself about anything as there was something that was much more important than his dream, his worries, his questions and his perplexity... His heart.

Thanks to his sweet dream that transformed into a horrible nightmare and thanks to Gokudera's few words on the previous day, Hibari could now clearly understand of how he was feeling towards his roommate. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was attracted to him... Actually it was more than pure attraction. He wanted him. He craved for him... He wanted to engulf his whole being in the serenity of his scent. He wanted to surrender his entire body in the ecstasy of his touch...

'Is this what they call love?'

He aimlessly asked, knowing all too well the answer.

'How could I be so careless? ?'

He angrily wondered as he had convinced himself for all these years that having any kind of close relationship with others was completely useless and meaningless.

'How could I be overcome by such childish emotions? ?'

The Cloud Guardian bit his lower lip, devastated by his defeat against these sentiments.

'I... I like him. I wanna kiss him... I wanna touch him... I wanna smell him... I wanna make him mine.'

He started deeming his desires as he slowly landed his buttocks on the edge of the bathtub.

'Why can't I remove this craving from my mind? Why am I so weak against it? ?'

He lowered his head and covered his face with his hands while trying to find a solution for a love that seemed nothing but troublesome in his eyes.

'What am I going to do...?'

Hibari could have sworn that never before in his life had he been so terrified -and on top of that because of a mere emotion whose existence he used to doubt.

No matter how hard he was thinking about it, the young boy's emotions didn't seem willing to back down. In fact, the more he was trying to deny everything he felt, the more he realized that this love was a necessity he couldn't live without; its intensity easily surpassing his animalistic instinct of survival.

"Hibari?"

Gokudera's unexpected voice startled the troubled Guardian who immediately stood up even though he couldn't be seen; his heart being about to escape out of his chest.

"What is it?"

He responded without delay, not wanting to cause any suspicions and hurriedly wore the school uniform he had left there from the previous day.

"Um... I really have to go into the bathroom. Will you be late?"

Suddenly Hibari opened the door, surprising the Italian boy.

"I'm done."

He said in an apathetic manner.

"Are you okay?"

The smoke bomber managed to somehow spot his roommate's uneasiness but the latter ignored his question.

"Geez whatever..."

Gokudera murmured, entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

'Why am I so transparent...?'

The Cloud Guardian wondered irritated as he walked towards the bed and glanced at his alarm clock.

'Damn, it's too early...'

He reckoned as he still had more than one hour until the meeting with the principal.

'I suppose I could study a bit... There are still so many unknown words.'

He sat on the bed and bent over, searching for the Italian book in his suitcase.

'Will he like it if I talk to him only in Italian?'

Hibari thought as he opened the book on the page he was last time.

'Will he prefer it if I don't talk to him at all...?'

"Hey, is this the book you had told me?"

After a while Gokudera's voice was heard and made the older student jump for the second time. Hibari had been engulfed in his thoughts regarding the Italian boy's likings and needs so much, that not only had he not realized the second's reappearance, but for a moment he even wondered to which book he was referring. Finally he nodded affirmatively and flipped a page, acting like he hadn't lost focus.

"Can I take a look?"

Gokudera asked with a bit of enthusiasm in his voice as he stood in front of him.

"Don't lose my page..."

The raven haired boy uttered threateningly and the smoke bomber took the book in his hands and narrowed his eyes a lot while examining it.

"Ah, they explain things thoroughly, it seems like a good book."

Gokudera said as he was flipping through the pages.

"It is a good book. I wouldn't buy anything that's not good enough."

Hibari protested quietly but didn't bother expressing his puzzle concerning the other's eye movement.

"Sit down, your standing up makes me dizzy."

He continued after a while, hoping that his roommate would understand his indirect way of asking him to teach him Italian.

"Tsk you're so demanding..."

Gokudera mumbled as he sat next to him, his mind being too occupied with the book's content to deal with Hibari's pretentiousness.

"Well..."

After a short period of time the smoke bomber glanced at the Cloud Guardian's alarm clock.

"...Do you want to do our first Italian lesson now?"

"Yes."

Hibari responded without qualms, mistakenly believing that the Italian boy had realized that this was actually his own idea before asking his question.

"U-um... Okay..."

Gokudera uttered timidly, confused by the other's straightforwardness.

"Talk in Italian and I'll correct your pronunciation."

He continued.

"What should I say?"

"Ah, let's start with the basics. Say what's your name, your age and your hobbies."

"Hibari Kyoya. Sedici anni. Insegno disciplina ai selvaggi." (trans/Sixteen years old. Teaching discipline to the untamed)

"N-not like that! Use complete sentences!"

The Cloud Guardian sighed at Gokudera's demand.

"Il mio nome è Hibari Kyoya. Ho sedici anni. Il mio passatempo è insegnare disciplina ai selvaggi." (trans/My name is Hibari Kyoya. I am sixteen years old. My hobby is to teach discipline to the untamed)

"Ah... From where should I begin?"

Gokudera scratched his temple and then stared into Hibari's eyes.

"First of all, you have to learn how to pronounce 'L' correctly."

"Er?"

"L..."

"That's what I said."

"No you didn't. You said 'er'. Try again."

"I know what I said."

The raven haired boy glared at his roommate as he couldn't take the second's corrections lightly.

"Don't be so stubborn! Say it again!"

"Don't shout."

"Can you please say it again?"

The irony that existed in the smoke bomber's tone didn't annoy Hibari; in fact he was satisfied that he had at least lowered his voice.

"L."

"There! Do you see the difference?"

"No."

"Tsk, it doesn't matter, just keep saying it that way. Then, don't use space when saying 'sedici'. The word is one, don't try to break it. Then, um... About 'anni'. You should try giving more emphasis to it or else... it means something else."

"Ani? What do you mean by more emphasis?"

"Listen to the difference. Anni. Ani."

The silver haired boy spelled slowly for his friend to spot the difference.

"The difference in the pronunciation is almost minimum."

Hibari finally said.

"But the difference in the meaning is great! Ani means... um... j-just try to say it with more emphasis."

The Cloud Guardian was annoyed by his roommate's hesitation to explain properly.

"Ani."

"Try again."

"What's the definition of the other word you senselessly support that I'm saying?"

"Senselessly? Gah, you're so annoying! ! Anni means years! Ani means anuses! Are you happy now? ?"

The older student widened his eyes at the other's statement that forced a blush on his cheeks.

"What?"

He asked slowly and threateningly, forcing great agitation to the Italian boy.

"I-it's not my fault that you can't spell it right!"

Gokudera's loud voice irritated Hibari even more.

"Did you just call me useless? I'll bite y-"

"I didn't, I didn't! Don't you want to learn the correct pronunciation?"

The smoke bomber yelled hurriedly before his roommate stood up, afraid of the second's violent nature, since he knew that more beating could even be fatal for his life.

"Hmph..."

The formidable boy sighed pejoratively and glared at the Storm Guardian.

"Does your language have many tricks of that kind?"

He said irked.

"No! I... If you prefer I can teach you all the curses and similar words so that you can know beforehand."

Gokudera suggested somewhat timidly, wondering if Hibari would be okay with it.

"I suppose it will be better that way."

A sign of belittlement could be spotted in the Cloud Guardian's voice.

"Tsk, sei noioso..." (trans/Tsk, you're so annoying)

Gokudera finally said, unable to hide his frustration towards the other.

"Che cosa ti fa pensare che non lo sia anche tu?" (trans/What makes you think you're not?)

"Almeno io non credo di essere meglio del resto del mondo!" (trans/At least I don't believe that I'm better than anyone else in the world!)

"Abbassa la voce. Non sei migliore di nessuno, quindi è giusto che continui a pensarla così." (trans/Keep your voice down. You are not better than anyone, so it's good that you don't believe otherwise.)

Hibari's sentence had pushed the other to his limits.

"Come cazzo fai ad essere così arrogante e presuntuoso? ? Guardi chi ti sta intorno come se fosse inferiore a te, se il nostro boss stesse morendo non te ne fotterebbe un emerito cazzo e vai anche in giro come se tutto fosse di tua proprietà!" (trans/How the fuck can you be so arrogant and cocky? ? You always look at others as if they're inferior to you, you'd literally not give a fuck if our boss was dying and you even walk as if you own everything around you!)

"Who do you think you are in order to judge me?"

The head of the Disciplinary Committee raised his voice, overwhelmed by this violent anger that was trying to overtake his constant aloofness.

"I don't know! Who the fuck am I for you? You first act like a total asshole, then you support me by keeping my secret and even trust me as to tell me your own... even if it wasn't on purpose, and now you behave like a total prick again! So tell me, what the fuck am I to you? Your friend or your enemy?"

"I despise human relationships; you should have known that by now."

The raven haired boy quietly murmured without taking his eyes off of him, stifling his true feelings and desires.

"But we are interacting with each other Hibari! We're neither strangers, nor lovers. Doesn't that make us friends?"

A faint tone of sadness could be spotted in Gokudera's voice. The smoke bomber couldn't accept his roommate's extravagantly unsociable nature. Moreover, Hibari's erotic feelings towards whichever boy he had kissed proved the fact that the Cloud Guardian wasn't as tough as others thought he was...

'In the end he's just human...'

Gokudera thought, hoping that his gut about his roommate not hating him was right.

The raven haired boy sighed troubled at the other's question. He didn't want to take it as far as to call him his enemy in order to defend his vulnerable feelings, yet there was no way he'd admit that they were friends.

"Anni."

He finally said, avoiding answering Gokudera's question.

'I suppose there is no way he'd admit that we're friends. But if he doesn't even deny it...'

"Yeah, you finally said it right."

The Italian boy responded while smiling, having already received the answer he needed.

Time passed by quickly as the Italian lessons between the two roommates continued. The smoke bomber was explaining thoroughly all the mistakes at Hibari's pronunciation and the second was struggling to correct them and not make a fool out of himself. The head of the Disciplinary Committee didn't feel anger anymore by Gokudera's emendations and instead he was rather happy for the time they could spend by associating with each other.

"Hibari! Hibari!"

The sudden chirp of the yellow bird interrupted the two Guardians. The raven haired boy gazed at the open balcony door and watched as his small pet landed on Gokudera's shoulder.

"Hibari! Hibari!"

It repeated and softly rubbed its head on the smoke bomber's neck, making the latter chuckle and gently patted its head.

"Hey, why don't you teach it my name?"

Gokudera asked the other boy who was enviously staring at the bird.

"Why would I?"

He replied apathetically.

"Because it likes me...!"

The untamed boy tried to keep his voice down so that he wouldn't scare the small creature away.

"I'm sure it hasn't even heard of my name before...! All you've ever called me is herbivore..."

He continued displeased as the bird continued chirping Hibari's name.

"I suppose it hasn't..."

The Cloud Guardian responded rather surprised at this realization.

"Then teach it."

The silver haired boy said as he gently took the bird in his palms and turned his hands as to make it look at its owner.

"...I don't have a magical way of teaching the bird your name."

His roommate stated and all of a sudden Hibird flew and landed on its master's head.

"Tsk, if you'd at least call me by my name it would get used to it and eventually say it."

"I doubt it."

" I bet you do..."

Gokudera murmured annoyed by the other's indifference and then glanced at the second's alarm clock.

"Hey, aren't you going to be late?"

He asked as the numbers eleven and twelve were written on it.

"Shit!"

Hibari stood up alarmed, bewildered by how quickly time passed and Hibird automatically flew away from him, heading towards the smoke bomber.

"If you dare to even think of leaving this room, you're dead. You, your lover and everything you love will vanish from this Earth. Mark my words Hayato..."

The raven haired boy uttered slowly and then exited the room in a flash.

'D... Did he just use my first name? !'

Gokudera wondered in shock as the fluffy bird sat on his shoulder.

"Your owner's gonna drive me crazy..."

He whispered to the small creature, feeling rather perplexed (and maybe a bit happy) by Hibari's unexpected intimacy.

EDIT: I FORGOT TO CREDIT MY FRIEND FOR THE ITALIAN TRANSLATION!

Recchan dot deviantart dot com. - this person (is fucking amazing) does awesome cosplays and is seriously worth deviantwatching. =ω=

I thank her for ALL the Italian translations, I don't know what I'd have done without her... orz

She actually helped me as to what exactly a Japanese person would say wrong while speaking in Italian... Thank yooooouu Recchaaan~ T^T