Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters

Sorry for the delay, everyone. Life stuff had been getting me down, but I'm feeling better now and ready to work on WTEWYE again. So without further ado, the next chapter!

Also, P.S., I got permission from MystiKoorime to borrow some of Hiei's drink tastes for my own fic.

Now…continue!

As the week passed, Hiei felt no better about his situation. During the day, his thoughts would be on the child and its impending birth as well as the fact that he couldn't make a decision about what he truly wanted to do. At nights, it was easier, having Botan wrapped up in his arms as she dozed off peacefully after amorous activities. The night was their own little world where no troubles or concerns existed, and Hiei came to prefer the nights of doing nothing to the days of intense training. There were a few times where Botan would go to the park with him and he would watch over her as she did some of her yoga crap. Apparently, that exercise helped her to stay calm and was good for her body. Being out with her was…nice, but it didn't stop the increasing feelings of agitation that arose within him every day.

Truthfully, his guide had him pegged for the week. The chapter was properly titled "Feeling Anxious?" Hiei was starting to rescind his distaste for the guide he once thought to be a load of crap. Now that he had actually been indulging in time with the woman, he realized that each chapter had had some very sound advice, and the ones that were a week too late didn't take into account the fact that the child would be on the early side of development.

If you're having second thoughts about this baby thing, especially as it gets more real, the fire demon read, don't worry. It's normal. Having second thoughts is totally normal, especially as the delivery date approaches. Don't worry; she's probably feeling the same way. You may be wondering what kind of father you'll be, worrying about the health of your partner and the baby, and confused about what the heck the practitioner was talking about at the last office visit.

That little note had actually been surprising for Hiei. He had never considered himself to be normal, especially not in regards to the concept of human mentality. Still, all of the concerns the book mentioned were concerns he did, in fact, have. Botan was always in so much pain, weakened at times. The baby seemed fine, always trying to get his parents' attention. Still, the woman always still smiled through the pain. It twisted the fire demon's insides that the ferry girl was putting herself through hell just for a child he sired. She now knew the majority of the past he kept buried, and what she didn't know she probably gathered knowing he was a thief, and she knew he had caused trouble for Spirit World and for her during the first case. He was only forced on the team to erase the charges. He was not a good man. And yet, the thought of having his child brought her joy through the torture. Really, what kind of father would he be? That had been part of the reason he wanted to leave. It wasn't something he believed he could be. Botan kept telling him not to worry about that.

Here are a few ways to start boosting your confidence, the book continued. First, read up about pregnancy and babies. Knowledge is power. That sounded like something the fox would do, and Hiei guessed he was technically doing it by reading his and the woman's book. Second, talk to your partner. She's probably feeling as freaked as you, and venting will help you both relax. Well, he had already been doing that, and he still felt like this. Third, corner every veteran parent you know and ask for some pointers to score some insights. That was another point against Hiei as he didn't know any being who was a parent. And finally, chill with this thought: Parents have been having babies for as long as there have been babies.

…

That thought actually didn't help much at all.

However, Hiei knew that he couldn't keep his stresses internalized anymore. He had already crossed that bridge. Botan already knew how he felt, and she continued to be optimistic. She needed to believe everything would be okay. It wasn't because she was a clueless ferry girl either. She had to do it for herself and the baby, and Hiei had to meet her halfway, and so he was wary to discuss his concerns with the woman despite what his guide suggested.

There were very few people the fire demon felt comfortable speaking with, and despite trusting every member of their team, he wasn't ready for the fox's analysis or the detective's "I told you so nature." That only left one person he could vent to, and it was the last person he'd ever thought he'd choose.

Hiei found himself outside of Kuwabara's workplace, waiting directly in front of the school for the psychic to show up. Kuwabara had finished his teaching assistantship for the day and was saying goodbye from some classmates when he spotted the fire demon standing there. He was completely stunned to see Hiei, but he offered his teammate a patient grin. "Hey, Hiei. What are you doing here?"

"Hn, I owe you no explanation," the demon responded curtly. This earned some surprised stares from the other humans around the oaf.

Kuwabara just waved them off and then gestured for Hiei to follow him. Ever the rebellious type, Hiei stayed rooted in his spot, but, when Kuwabara turned his back to him, he followed.

The psychic brought Hiei to another part of the city, to an apartment complex that wasn't too far from the school. Hiei was confused for a moment. He knew his teammate lived someone else entirely with his sister. He paused in his trek, and Kuwabara stopped as he sensed the pause. He turned back around to see Hiei eyeing him distrustfully. "It's my new place, Hiei," Kuwabara said, offering a patient grin. "It's a recent development."

Hiei was surprised that the redhead could read him so well. It was like he was becoming another Kurama, though Hiei knew it was more from the psychic unknowingly reading his emotions. Usually one to conceal those, it through Hiei for a loop, but he guessed it was better than having to discuss everything right at the moment. The fire demon still didn't even understand why he came to the oaf at all.

Kuwabara let Hiei inside, sensing his friend and teammate wanted to talk, but also knowing that Hiei probably wouldn't open up right away. Instead, he enlisted the fire demon in his crusade of putting some furniture together. There was no place to sit just yet save the couch, so Hiei and Kuwabara worked on putting together his kitchen table and chairs. Kuwabara laughed at his pissed off friend, Hiei angered by the overcomplicated and impossible to read human blueprints. After that task was done, they put together some floor lamps. Finally, the apartment had light and was coming together nicely.

Hiei found himself looking around at all of the packed boxes, and then his gaze returned to his comrade. "So, you really meant recent development."

Kuwabara snickered. "Yeah. It was just easier instead of commuting all the way across the city."

"Hn," Hiei responded. Kuwabara then handed Hiei a bottle of beer. Hiei's brow quirked, and then came his snarky reply. "I'm surprised a bleeding heart like you has even touched alcohol."

"I've been drunk before," the redhead replied. "Remember?" Hiei couldn't believe the human dared to bring up any of their get-togethers. The fire demon had seen his comrade drunk, and it led to the psychic being all over his sister. "Even Yukina has had some alcohol, and she is much purer than I am."

Again, Hiei grimaced, feeling acid creeping upward. "I prefer not to remember such incidents." No, Hiei didn't want to think about his twin's tongue down the human's throat. He downed a large sip of what tasted like cinnamon ale, one of Hiei's favorites. Part of him wondered if the psychic knew that or not.

Kuwabara couldn't help but grin when the fire demon's attention was elsewhere. The two continued to drink in silence, Kuwabara opening up a couple more beers. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Kuwabara asked, "So, what's up with you and Botan?" Hiei's expression darkened, and he glowered at the bottle he was holding. "Kurama told Urameshi and me what happened."

"He's a meddlesome fool," Hiei abruptly shot back, on the defensive.

"Who cares about both of you," Kuwabara pointed out. "And as much as you and I give each other grief, I still see you as a friend, and I'm sure you do also even though you disguise it as us being teammates or comrades or whatever." Hiei chuckled slightly at that, knowing Kuwabara's words to be true.

"Listen," the psychic continued, "I'm not going to judge. I'm concerned about Botan, but clearly something is eating away at you, too. So, what's up?"

The fire demon opened his mouth to speak, but then his lips settled into a firm line. He had come to the oaf to confide in him the happenings of his personal life. Hiei had wanted to do this, and now he couldn't speak at all. Eventually, after taking a few more gulps of his liquid courage, he slammed the beer bottle down on the newly put-together table and glared at Kuwabara. "The woman and I…we're…" He froze again. His crimson eyes roved Kuwabara's for any judgement and found none.

Kuwabara sensed his hesitance. "Look, we're both adults," Kuwabara pointed out. "If you're sleeping with Botan again, we can talk about it."

Hiei scoffed a laugh. "If we're both adults, you might as well call it 'sex.'"

"Is it just sex?" The fire demon's expression dropped immediately as he met Hiei's knowing gaze. His eyes cast downward to the table, and Kuwabara slid another beer over to him. "I knew it. So, you're together, then." Hiei shook his head, not to deny that they were in some sort of relationship, but because he couldn't bring himself to talk about it…not yet. Kuwabara's brow furrowed in confusion. "So you aren't together?"

"Yes," Hiei snapped back abruptly, gripping both sides of the table. But his answer got to him and panic flooded his system. "I mean no…I mean…I don't know."

"Okay," Kuwabara replied calmly. "Let's start there. Why don't you know?"

Hiei practically downed the next bottle, only a little bit of beer remaining. "Just…everything," he stated. "I've been reading this book," he admitted. "It says feeling anxiety is normal, but not like this. It's a book written for someone who is in a relationship with the person they're having a child with. We weren't anything. I never wanted us to be something. Now we are, and I don't know what to do with that or this impending child." His expression soured further when he brought up his son.

"Hey, come on," Kuwabara laughed lightly before joking, "it's not like having a baby is the end of the world. We already fought against that stuff." Hiei didn't find the humor, his shoulders sagging, and Kuwabara noticed just how exhausted and rundown the fire demon looked. It was kind of sobering to see someone so much stronger than him this way, and the fact that he had come to him, of all people, was an eye opener. "Look, I'll give you some advice on parenting and regarding Botan if you want. First off, none of it is easy, not always. Parts of it are for both, but it's also a challenge. You should try to sort out your feelings first, decide what you really want with Botan and how active you want to be in your kid's life.

"It's not a revolving door," Kuwabara stated, "and the kid is going to need you, both of you, in one way or another. Sure, he'll have us, but it's not the same as having two loving parents. Look at Urameshi's family, and mine. He grew up without a father, and I grew up without a mother. We were always getting ourselves into trouble as kids."

Hiei felt himself sinking lower. Being parentless himself, the fire demon could acknowledge the veracity of the psychic's words. It didn't make him feel anymore prepared in becoming a parent. "Knowing Botan," Kuwabara continued, "she won't even expect you to be there all the time because of your life in Demon World. As long as your son knows that you'll always come back, he'll be okay."

"How do you know the child is a boy?" Hiei questioned defensively. "The ferry girl has been keeping it secret."

Kuwabara just smiled and said, "Intuition, and, by your reaction, I'm judging that my record of being right about this stuff hasn't failed."

"Hn."

Hiei set his bottle of beer down on the table, marinating in his teammate's words. The feeling of anxiety hadn't left him, but he felt that talking to the psychic had helped him gain more clarity. "Thanks for the beer." Hiei disappeared as soon as he said that, but both of them knew that Hiei was thanking Kuwabara for more than just the beer. Hiei, in his own way, was thanking him for the talk. Maybe, just maybe, Kuwabara wasn't as much of a fool as Hiei once thought.

It was mid-afternoon, and Botan had yet to see Hiei for the day. She tried not to let it bother her. Hiei had been around a lot more lately, and he was always extremely helpful. Botan had to trust that he was off taking some much deserved "me time." She giggled at the thought figuring Hiei wouldn't like her calling his training that.

So, full of positivity, she made sure to have a productive day. She managed to do some yoga in the morning before breakfast which energized her for the day. For the first time, she had to pry herself up using the couch. Then, she had a nice breakfast. She and her son were both ravenous during the morning, so she made everything she could think of. Strangely enough, she ate it all too. She also made sure to keep drinking water, but that resulted in her needing to pee for the rest of the morning. Eventually, she tired of running to the bathroom and decided to give herself a break.

It was then she took out her book, reading about all of her son's milestones. The fact that she had started moving slower and had to change how she walked slightly was not a mystery considering her little bundle was already about the size of a small doll. Sure, breaking one-pound mark didn't make too much of a difference, but where that weight was allocated certainly did. And he was about eleven inches now, too. Either way, he was growing, and Botan found herself grinning from ear to ear. She couldn't wait for her little one to be born so she could hold him. He still had quite a bit of growing to do in the meantime. She would just have to find a way to be patient.

The baby was becoming ever more aware, sensing the world around him as his vision and hearing were getting stronger. If the book was to be believed, his grip was getting stronger too. He could perceive light and dark, now, so Botan wondered if he was aware of night and day like they were. A few lines down contradicted that thought stating that, unless she were shining a flashlight over her belly, it would be mostly dark in there. As disheartening as that seemed, Botan learned that he could hear her voice, her heartbeat, the sounds of her stomach, and even of the blood circulating through her body. At least he had that. Botan honestly hoped her baby was having a good time in there and felt safe and cozy.

All of this was good news, although Botan wasn't immune to the side effects going on with her body at the moment. Her feet had been swollen almost every day despite how often she put her feet up. She knew it was due to normal pregnancy swelling and also because of the relaxin hormone. It read that the hormone would loosen all of her ligaments, including those in the feet, and the bones underneath them spread slightly. That alone could result in a half to whole shoe size of increase. Her sneakers and other shoes were beginning to feel uncomfortably tight. If this kept up, she'd need to get new shoes on top of everything else her friends were buying for her. She didn't know how she felt about that.

Reading more of the book proved to improve Botan's mood a bit (after she glazed over the supposedly not terrifying sections about Braxton Hicks contractions and testing for risk of preterm labor), the ferry girl laughing at the section teaching her how to cope with the "tummy touchers." It had happened quite a few times, Botan put off a little bit by the well-meaning women and men while also needing to hold Hiei back from retaliating.

It can be anyone, even complete strangers, and who can blame them? After all, pregnant tummies are so round and cute and house something even cuter. They practically beg to be touched. You may not mind being treated like an exhibit at a children's museum, and if you're a touchy-freely person yourself, you may even welcome the public display of affection for your baby bump, but if you do mind there are a couple of approaches you can take. One, you can gently, but firmly tell them how you feel, like "I know it's tempting, but I really would rather you didn't touch my stomach." Two, you can back away and dodge their advances. Or three, you can turn the tables by teasingly giving them a belly rub in return (which can be especially effective with middle-aged men sporting large tummies themselves). Remember, you're sharing your body on the inside. You don't need to share it on the outside too.

All of that had given Botan a laugh, though she sweat-dropped over the third option. For some reason, she didn't think Hiei would take too kindly to her responding to any man in that regard.

Well, in acknowledgement of sharing her body, her son gave a very strong kick that took the woman aback. She looked down at her abdomen and smiled admonishingly. "Oh you," she chimed, stroking her bump. "Try to take it easy on me, will you?" In response, she received a few more gentle thumps. "You know what we need? A bath!"

Yes, taking a bath sounded like a good way to spend the rest of their day.

Hiei returned to the apartment a couple hours after his talk with Kuwabara. He felt a bit more settled after reflecting on the psychic's words. His anxiety was still buried underneath everything else, but he had, in a way, made his decision. Kuwabara made two points that Hiei could not get out of his mind. One, he couldn't just come and go from his son's life. Of course, there would be the time he would have to tend to his duties in Demon World, but he couldn't just forget about the kid. Even if he questioned the type of father he would be, he would still have Botan to pick up his slack. That brought him to the second point.

Were he and Botan together?

Botan had asked him that very same question the week prior, and he had spent the past hours trying to figure out an answer. There was none he could give right now to her or their teammate. As far as the pregnancy went, he was with her, and as for being a parent he would share in the responsibility. But were they together? During the nights, it seemed like it, but Hiei could not break the bars that kept him from fully submerging himself in a relationship.

A wave of panic washed over him out of nowhere as he felt a twinge in his mind. It was as if he could hear the woman crying out, her fear evident in her tone and emotions as he watched her with the Jagan. The pain he felt was real, and he found himself racing back to the apartment. He entered through a window and raced to where he sensed the woman. He found her in the bathroom, his eyes widening as the Jagan's light faded.

There Botan was, in the tub, crying hysterically as her anxiety poured off of her. She was truly terrified.

The fire demon knelt down by the tub, calling her name which caught the woman's attention. His breath caught in his throat when her watery pools of amethyst met his worried eyes. For a moment, he couldn't even think. His first reaction was to yell. "Woman, what's the matter with you?"

"I-I-I…" Botan stammered before crying harder and burying herself in her arms. She wailed against her naked skin. "I'm stuck!"

Hiei's expression softened slightly, but he looked to the tub of water and saw that she still had plenty of room to move. "Are you serious?"

Botan then met his gaze again, her eyes full of fear as tears poured down her face again. "I couldn't get up," she pathetically cried. "I've been trying to get up for hours, but every way I try…everything hurts, and I couldn't turned around because I was afraid I'd hurt him. And I can't get out!"

Hiei finally understood what had Botan so panicked. The woman felt trapped, and she had no idea when he'd be home to free her. He didn't understand why he didn't feel her panicking earlier. Honestly, that was his own fault, and he knew it. He had been so lost in thought to his own problems that he had hardly tuned into what was going on with the woman. His heart began to race as he realized the implication of what had happened.

He had yelled at her because he had been afraid…afraid that the ferry girl was in mortal danger or wounded. It didn't matter that she was just stuck in the bathtub. She could have just as easily been in the hands of his enemies at that moment or actually hurt. And he wouldn't have known because he was too busy thinking about whether or not he saw them as an item?

Quickly, Hiei pulled Botan up, getting her out of the water and wrapped in a towel. The woman continued to sob hysterically, emotionally overwhelmed from her struggles. Hiei brought her to her room and lied her down in her bed. He joined her and stayed with her, holding her while she cried. Gently, he stroked her hair, soothing her. His eyes rested on her tear-stricken face. Botan cried herself to sleep, Hiei using his heat to warm her body. Why had she been so cold? He shook his head, trying to rid himself of his concerns.

Eventually, she fell asleep against him, knowing she was safe in her lover's arms. It didn't even b other her that she was still naked and only wrapped in a towel. Botan felt completely comfortable, and Hiei could tell as she drifted. He sighed and nestled her against his body, his chin resting on top of her head. Now, that he had her in his arms, he realized that his earlier internal debate no longer mattered. It didn't matter if he didn't know if they were together. It didn't matter if he didn't consider her more than what they were. Right now, they were a team, and Hiei took his partnerships seriously. He was loyal to her, plain and simple, and he had given her his word to stay. It was time to put this debate to rest, for now at least.

A day like today…it couldn't happen again. He would not let her feel that fear again.

The rest of the week went by without another incident other than Botan's normal discomfort. Hiei had hardly strayed from her side since the bathtub incident. He had ignored her apology for the fact that she had been so upset that night. She tried to laugh about it with him, but he dismissed it. Still, he was unusually moody whenever she mentioned it, and Botan was concerned. She let it go, worried she would say something to set the fire demon off. It was better to sit in silence and let the man brood for a bit. Besides, a quiet afternoon was sometimes cathartic.

Botan rested peacefully on the couch, her eyes closed as she let the warmth of the sun wash over her. It had been a while since she felt some unbelievably calm and relaxed. Hiei was nearby, sitting over by the window and propping his leg up as he lied back against a platform they had in front of the sill. Botan smiled at the thought that Hiei was trying to relax himself. Everyone knew they needed it.

Out of nowhere, peace was broken, as Botan cried out in agony, a sudden pain shooting through her leg. Tears fell at the immense pain caused by a tightness. It had been a bit since she had felt a leg cramp this painful. She was starting to get them again, but none were as abrupt and forceful as this pang seemed to be. Surprisingly to Botan, Hiei was by her side instantly, assisting her with the leg cramp as he had done quite a few times. The first time, it amazed her, and this time was no different, especially when he said, "You should probably get magnesium pills if you aren't taking them."

Botan openly gawped at him, surprised by the suggestion. He could tell that she was refraining from asking any invasive questions despite her curiosity and decided to finally reveal what he had been doing. "I've been sneaking peeks at your book to understand what's happening."

His admittance made Botan smile so brightly at him. So, that was how he knew how to handle her leg cramps effectively, how he knew what to do for her back, how he knew how to keep her eating, and many other things. "That's actually really sweet of you, Hiei." He abruptly looked into her eyes, and Botan realized she was caught in staring at him. She hadn't even realized it until their eyes met that she had been staring. Still, she didn't tear her gaze away.

Hiei took a seat beside her, keeping her leg propped up as he continued to flex her heel back and forth. "I haven't just been reading your book," he communicated, surprised he actually felt the desire to engage in this kind of discussion. He took a deep breath and continued to hold her gaze. "The book Kurama gave me…it says I should be sharing my anxieties and let you do the same." Botan could hardly contain her shock, but she offered the fire demon a patient smile and a nod. He took that as encouragement.

So, for the first time since this ordeal had started, Hiei shared his concerns with Botan…about everything. The ferry girl listened, noting that she shared some of Hiei's concerns, but in different context. They both questioned their competency as parents, and, although Botan had already known this about Hiei, when he started sharing stories of his childhood, she could finally understand. Hiei had no one to raise him. He practically raised himself after being tossed away like he didn't matter. The fire demon had closed himself off to others as a result, and so anything akin to emotion he avoided. Botan laid back against a couch pillow, listening to his life stories. She was so enthralled by what he was telling her, the opposite effect that Hiei thought he would have. His life was cold, dark, and dangerous. He had been a sadistic, callous kid, and he was hardly any different as an adult, yet Botan pointed out his tender side. She pointed to her legs that Hiei had allowed to rest over his lap. Hiei shook his head and told her she didn't get it.

But Botan assured him that she did, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it reassuringly. "I don't know anything about living a normal, human life, either," she confessed to him. "I didn't grow up like our friends did. As far as life in this living world, I've simply followed the lead of our friends. I imagine living a normal life here all the time, but I know I'll always have duties as a ferry girl…in Spirit World. I can't always be here for the baby, and that scares me."

Hiei was astonished, his crimson eyes questioning her. He had assumed that she had planned to reside in this world for the rest of the child's life, and he barely gave her Spirit World duties a second thought. Now, hearing her concern, he understood she was more like himself than he had realized. It was one of his concerns with serving Mukuro.

At that moment, both of them released a heavy sigh at the same time.

Botan looked to her pensive partner and took his hand again, beaming brightly at the demon. His expression was stoic, but Botan could tell he was troubled. "Bit don't worry," she pacified. "I have no doubt we'll figure all this out."

Hiei wasn't so sure about about that, but confiding his concerns actually did make him feel lighter. He expected Botan to be horrified by his life's stories. They didn't bother him in the slightest. He was a survivor in a kill or be killed world, and his pursuit of strength took him to the darkest of places. With someone as light as the ferry girl, Hiei expected to be judged, for her to be appalled by the life he chose to lead, and yet she surprised him by hanging onto every word and continuing to be positive and believe in him.

Despite his uncertainties, they were at least on the same page. It was actually quite a relief to know that. Maybe those books had some merits after all, and maybe Hiei should have been confiding in the woman, or even his other comrades, all along.

Well, it was better late than never, he guessed.