Chapter Twenty-One

Bobby and Ellen were extremely proud when Lilith Gellar asked Sam to join her on stage at the graduation ceremony, since they were both valedictorians. Sam was embarrassed at first, but Principal Bell patted him on the back and told him to join her.

"I want to thank Lilith for inviting me up here; however, she is the only true Milton Valedictorian. Unfortunately, I made errors in my judgment and had to some of my schooling at Maple Grove. I missed several weeks of school, but I learned so much. I want to thank everyone for their love and support, especially my parents. They have taught me how to live and love, but I want to show them that I will be a responsible adult who will help the world and not hurt it. I love them and want to make them proud, so I am off to Nebraska State University to study business and then enter law school. A big thanks to my family and to everyone here at Milton, especially Principal Bell. Thank you." The crowd was now cheering as Lilith and Sam toss their caps into the air as everyone else now does.

Bobby and Ellen threw Sam, Dean and Jessica a big party and unfortunately Adam sneaked beer and threw up on Sam…twice. Dean stated that it was pay-back and laughed the whole time as Sam was cleaning up the mess.

And before they know it, the summer had past and they were off to college. Bobby and Ellen hugged and kissed them good-bye, while Emily cried the whole time. Sam and Dean hugged their siblings and William gave them each several thousands of dollars, so they will have cash when needed.

They were in their dorm room located on the third floor. The suite had a sink, mini-frig and microwave with a sofa and chairs nearby. There were three bedrooms and a bathroom. One room belonged to their new roommate, Ed Zeddmore, while Harry Spangler was in another, and this left Dean and Sam with the last one. The room had a double bed, two desks and two closets with a window overlooking the library entrance.

They soon fell into a routine of classes, friends, parties and of course, making love. They went home once a month for Sunday dinner and church.

Dean was third-string quarterback and was even starting as the season finished. However, by the time spring break came, Dean realized that he was he was failing three classes and had to buckle down and even hired a tutor named Lisa Braeden. In fact, he studied so much that he hardly saw Sam, even though they still shared a bed. Dean was very lucky to have passed all of his classes and he didn't have to make up anything in the summer.

Meanwhile, Sam had made tons of friends and was even going to Europe with them in the summer. Dean just went home and tried to keep busy. Sam would call every day at first, but by the end of the summer, Dean would only get an email or text once a week.

As the next year went on, they slowly drifted apart, mostly due to school studies and different interests. Sam joined GLERA, a gay/lesbian group that dealt with supporting and receiving equal rights. Dean quit football and spent most of his time studying with Lisa or hanging out with Ed and Harry doing goofball things. Yet by the end of the year, Dean's grades were still average and one was borderline of him failing.

As a result, Sam decided that they should move and their grandparents bought them a three bedroom townhouse close by the university. One bedroom will be theirs while the other two became an office for each. Ellen and Emily spent time with them and decorated each room.

Sam was right, moving did have an impact on Dean's grades and he passed. But he decided to stay for summer school and try to receive extra help, because failing would not be an option for Dean Harvelle.

Dean spent most of his summer with Lisa just hanging out, while Sam took off again, this time to the Bahamas. Every time Sam would call he would talk about his new friend, Richard and the more Dean heard about Richard, the more he hated him.

A few weeks later, Dean was finally introduced to the man his boyfriend had been raving about. Dean met them one afternoon for coffee and Richard was not what he expected- Richard was very tall, like Sam, but was not as buff. He had jet black hair, deep blue eyes and a goatee, which made him look years older. Richard spoke with confidence; however, Dean thought it made him sound more arrogant than intelligent. It seemed that Richard knew everything and loved to debate, making Dean speculate if that is why Sam and him hit it off. Dean's main concern was Richard constantly interrupting Sam, telling him what to do and even ordered for him. Dean kept thinking, why would Sam let this man be so intimidating. It really didn't matter though, because if Sammy was happy, then he was too.

The third year began and it seemed like they never saw one another. Sometimes, Sam would be up late studying and would just sleep in his office and vice-versa. Sam even tried inviting Dean along to be with his GLERA friends. But Dean did not like most of them, especially Richard. The final straw came at a dinner they were having at the townhouse, when Richard began talking to Dean about 'coming-out' publicly as a supporter of GLERA.

"You know Dean, you have a lot of followers from your football days, so you could really help us out by telling everyone that you are a gay adult and a member of the NSU football team." Richard loudly mentioned.

Dean told him that he wasn't interested. However, Richard kept pushing, until Dean exploded. "You know what Dick, you need to learn how to except the word no."

"Very funny Dean, you're uh…in denial, but funny. And I think that you know that my name is Richard, not Dick."

Dean laughed, "Oh, I'm the one in denial. Is that what you are trying to tell me, Richard?"

"Dean, I know that being abused by men in your past might have made you bitter about gay men, but we are not like them. We are just like you and you are like us."

"I'm not gay… so stop telling me that I'm just like you."

Richard burst out laughing as most of the guests did too. "Oh, you're not gay, Dean? Then what do you call your relationship with Sam?"

"I say that we are friends who love one another."

"Dean, Dean, Dean…you are G-A-Y and that's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you should embrace it." Richard tried to hug Dean, who pushed him away. "Sam, your boyfriend needs our support and he won't let us."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore and if try to hug me again, I will punch you in the face. Got it, Dick?"

"Yeah man, I got your number, but I'm not going to stop until you are on our side."

"Whatever." Dean huffed, "Sam, I'm gonna go upstairs, so good-night."

The guests quietly watched Dean go up the stairs and then there was immediate chatter. "Oh Sam, you have a lot of work to do with that one."

"Thanks Richard, but I think Dean needs space to absorb everything."

Later that night, Sam tried to talk to Dean, but he didn't want to. After that, things became more strained with their relationship. Both had separate friends, interests and even studied differently.

In addition, Sam was with Richard a quite amount of time that he often spent the night several times a week. At first, Sam would call to explain that he was tired or they were doing stuff. But then, the calls stopped and it became brief text messages. Sam would come home in the morning to shower, grab his things and head off to the campus. Sometimes, he would have a quickie with Dean, often without saying a word.

There was a period of three days in a row when Sam would come home in the morning and bend Dean over while he was trying to get dressed, take a shower, then leave for class and repeat this the next morning…while a word was not spoken by neither one.

However on the fourth morning, Dean was waiting for him. Sam entered the bathroom and began to bend Dean over again.

"Sam, just stop, because I have something to say." Dean looked to his impatient boyfriend who rolled his eyes and sighed, "What is so important that it can't wait until I am done making love to you?"

"Are you kidding me, Sam?" The blonde male huffed, "This isn't making love…its you bending me over. I'm not a sextoy anymore, you know."

"Seriously Dean, if that is what you are mad about…then here." Sam pulled down his briefs and bended over the sink.

"Stop it, Sam! You're not listening!" Dean exclaimed. "I know that you're sleeping with Richard and I just don't want to be a convenient part-time fuck here and there. I want a full-time boyfriend or nothing at all from you." He briefly paused, watching the hurt in his lover's eyes. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Sam put his clothes back on and sat down on the vanity. He had a couple of tears, but quickly wipes them away. "I'm sorry. Dean, I know that you're mad and I didn't want to hurt you. How did you uh, know that I was sleeping with Richard?"

"Sam, I can just tell and I'm not mad. I will always be your friend and I wished that you would've told me." Dean cupped his chin, "I just hope that you are using protection, because I don't want anything to happen to you."

"We are, I swear. I just don't know what to do now." Sam quietly stated. "You're the one that I love, but he makes me…uh, happy. I feel needed when I am with him and I'm stronger because of that. Richard and I have many things in common and being with him is all that I can think about. I'm very sorry, Dean…so, what next?"

"I think I should move out, because we need time apart." Dean replied, looking down. "Everyone kept saying that first love was hard, because sometimes you just have to let go and that's what we need to do. I want us to stay friends, okay."

Sam stood up and hugged him. "Dean, we will always be friends and I'll always love you." They hugged again and Dean started to walk away, "Hey Dean, I think you should stay and I'll go. I think I'm gonna move in with Richard."

"Sure Sam, you want me to help you?"

"No Dean, I will do it later. I love you."

"I know you do Sam and I love you too."

Sam grabbed his bag and was off to class, leaving Dean just standing there. What was once a long, beautiful friendship that blossomed into love, was now gone. That was it…a five minute conversation in the bathroom and the relationship had just vanished. Dean was devastated, because deep down people who he truly loved always ended up leaving him.

Sam moved in with Richard and saw Dean once in a while, here and there. They usually alternated weekends that they would see the family and no one at home really liked Richard either and Bobby blamed himself, but supported his son.

Days became longer, but the nights were endless. All Dean could think about was how much he loved and missed Sam. He tried to keep focused on school and family, but it was extremely hard, especially every time he would see the happy couple together.

Dean was hoping Christmas vacation at home would be a good chance to talk to Sam without the influence of Richard and maybe they could work something out. Dean's class schedule allowed him to beat all of the holiday traffic and even had time to stop and buy last minute presents. He spotted a rare edition of poetry that Sam often mentioned was his favorite and he had the cute gal behind the counter at the book store wrap it up in Sam's favorite color- navy blue. Things were now starting to look up, thus Dean was in a very jolly mood, even singing Christmas songs on the drive home.

Dean soon got settled into his room and the twins were asking a million questions- Did he buy them presents? Are Sam and he back together? What are they doing for New Year's Eve?

Dean answered their entire question marathon and they were finally off to Ellen and Bobby's for dinner and hopefully to see Sam.

Everyone hugged and kissed Dean and he was incredibly glad to see him. Grammy revealed that she took his advice on the menu and Ellen mentioned that Sam had a big surprise for them when he got there. Dean took this opportunity to chat with Jo and told her his plan to get back Sam. First, Dean was going to tell him how much he loved him. Second, Dean was going to give him the poetry book. And lastly, he was going to ask Sam to move back to the townhouse. Jo gave Dean a big hug and couldn't wait for Sam to be here already.

About an hour later, Sam came through the front door. His cheeks were rosy and he was carrying a gigantic bag of gifts. After hugs and kisses from everyone, Sam slowly walked over to his former lover. They hugged and exchanged pleasantries, but Dean could not help to notice how attractive Sam looked.

After they were finished eating and right before some of the gift-exchanging, Sam had an announcement. "I wanted to tell everyone in person that I am in love and I'm gonna do something about it."

Jo had a gushing smile as she held Dean's hand and he looked excited too.

Sam continued with a goofy grin, "Well, I'm in love with Richard and we are moving to India at the end of the school year."

Everyone was stunned, but not like Dean. All he could do was firmly squeeze Jo's hand. She eventually had to pull away, but then gently caressed his hand. Everyone was silent, until Adam blurted out, "what the hell!"

That got everyone's attention and Ellen stood up, "Sam, what are you thinking?"

"Mom, I'm going to move to India to be with Richard, because I love him."

"Sweetie, what about college?" Ellen questioned, "don't you still want to be a lawyer?"

"I'm gonna transfer there and then enter law school in two years at Stanford."

Bobby had many negative thoughts, but chose to keep it to himself. William finally spoke, "Sam, are you really going to throw away your college future for some boy?"

"Grandfather, he's not a boy…he's the man I love and I want to be with him. And my education will be continued in another country. Then Richard and I will be back in two years so I can enter law school." Sam paused, then added, "trust me; I know what I'm doing."

Jo cleared her throat, "What about Dean?" Dean shot her a look, but she continued. "Are you just going to leave him?"

Sam looked confused, "Jo, I don't know what you are talking about?"

"Don't you still love Dean, then why are you leaving?"

Sam and Dean were both very uncomfortable, therefore Grampy told them to go talk in private. However, the doorbell rang and Richard entered carrying presents. Sam excitingly walked toward and kissed him. Suddenly the entire room glanced at Dean watching the couple.

Bobby stood and welcomed Richard, while everyone else remained silent. Richard sat next to Sam, as he explained what was happening. A tensed-filled thirty minutes came and went as the happy couple were giving details of the upcoming events and then there was an awkward silence.

Finally, it was decided to now open the presents and the children were the only ones who were happy. The adults all pretended to be in high spirits, but they were not.

Emma was the Official Elf in charge of handing out the presents and when she handed Sam the present that Dean had bought, he tried to get it back. Emma told him to sit down and handed him a present. Dean opened the bag and it was after-shave lotion from Sam. Dean tried to crack a smile, but after-shave lotion…it was like a slap in the face.

Richard had his arm around Sam as he was reading the card Dean had given him.

Sam,

I immediately thought of you when I saw this and it made me very happy. I have missed you so much and I'm really sorry for everything that has happened. However, I do feel that this time apart has been a positive outlook on what our relationship was and I think it is time for us to explore a new beginning.

I am asking you now if you had enough time to think and if you are ready, it would be an honor for me to invite you to move back in. I'm deeply in love with you and I want to make our relationship work.

I will support any decision that you make and we will always be friends.

Dean

Sam had the most shocking expression on his face, but never looked at Dean. Richard removed his arm and ordered Sam to open the present, which he failed to do at first. Then Richard started to unwrap it, but Sam took it from him and did it himself. He cracked a smile when he saw the book and his eyes meet with a glossy-eyed Dean.

"Wow Dean, this is awesome, thanks. But…"

"Wait a minute Sam, before you speak. I wanna ask Dean something." Richard turned to him, "So Dean, you think you could buy Sam a book and all is forgiven? What about all the interests Sam has, especially the ones that you disapprove of. Are you going to support him?"

"Uh…Richard, this has nothing to do with you, so butt out." Dean said, in a quite tone although he was fuming.

"Dean, this has everything to do with me." Richard commented, "I love Sam and he loves me and we are moving away, so you better accept that now."

"Richard, please stop!" Sam begged, "I want to talk with Dean now, in private. Uh, please just wait here."

Sam picked up the card and the book as he followed Dean into the media room. "Dean, I don't know where to begin. I mean, uh…I had no idea."

"Sam, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I wanted to tell you this in private and then give you the book. I embarrassed all of us and I think I will leave now."

"No Dean wait, because I wanna say something." The brunette male said. "I really do love you still, but I am in love with Richard. I should have told you all of this sooner, but I just can't believe what you wrote. Its very beautiful and I don't know what to do about it."

"Don't do anything Sammy, because you aren't the one with the problem. I think you should just go live your life the way that you want to and I'll be fine."

"But…"

"No buts Sam, just be happy and safe with your new life that you have planned. I really am very happy for you." Dean hugged him and left without a word to anybody.

No one wanted to celebrate the holidays, but Emily insisted on singing carols. Richard held Sam tight, while Dean pulled his car over a few blocks away and cried. He knew his heart was breaking, since he had lost the love of his life forever.