Author's Note: Wow! Three of my One Piece fanfics updated in one day? What a record!
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, The Phantom of the Opera, The Hangover, or any songs used in this chapter.
It started one day as the Supernovas, the Shichibukai, the CP9, the Straw Hats, the Capricorns, Ace, Sabo, and Vivi arrived at the airport in Las Vegas.
"Wash your hands," Sanji randomly reminded the viewers.
"I'm just a one-man wolfpack," Luffy stated.
"Where are we staying?" Chopper asked Nami.
"The Venetian. Some guy died and he's giving us some portion of the hotel to us," Nami explained.
"Is it pager-friendly?" Usopp asked Nami as he pulled out his pager. Nami grabbed Usopp's pager and threw it very hard.
"Ow! My balls!" Crocodile cried. And, everyone danced to the Flogging Molly song "The Seven Deadly Sins" for no reason. Then, Crocodile's clothes changed into a rapper's clothes. Molly was now cosplaying as Elizabeth from Gintama.
"If you want to do it, do it now! Zura!
If you want to do it, do it now! Zura!
Joi is joy! Joi is joy!
Now, here comes the hard part," Crocodile rapped before Molly hit him with a sign that said "I liked Kagura's rap better".
"Wanker," Molly said under her breath as she began reading a pamphlet on tennis injuries. Zoro then woke up.
"Oh, my God! Kuina's pregnant!" Zoro yelled. Everyone sweatdropped.
"My ROTFLCopter goes 'Soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi'," Blackbeard proclaimed as he spun around like a helicopter.
"Will everybody shut up about Kim Kardashian's SECOND wedding already?" Law angrily asked everyone. And, so, a Rocky Horror moment began.
"Let's do the time warp again!" Everyone angrily shouted at Law. A few minutes later, after driving by some awesome buildings with awesome stuff inside, the pirates arrived at the Venetian.
"Welcome to the NHK!" Nami announced. Currently, the pirates were riding in a gondola that somehow fit all of them. Nobody spoke.
"I'm not amused," Blueno commented.
"Is this hotel pager-friendly?" Usopp asked everyone. Kalifa then grabbed Usopp's second pager and stomped on it.
"That's sexual harassment," Kalifa pointed out as she pointed to Usopp. A few minutes of aimless wandering later, the pirates arrived at their hotel suites.
"Alright, everyone, so we can prevent Sanji from becoming as horny as Master Roshi and so we can prevent Kalifa from turning into the Sexual Harassment Panda, the boys will take one suite and the girls will take another," Nami explained. Of course, this caused outrage.
"Sexist! Sexist!" Yuki-Rin yelled, quoting Yuffie from Final Fantasy: Advent Children.
"I'd rather have the Sexual Harassment Panda!" Sanji sobbed.
"That's sexual harassment," Kalifa stated before Fukurou pushed all of the guys into the suite on the left. He ended up on Weeaboo Stories because of it.
"Chapapapapapapapa!" Fukurou laughed. Over in the girl's suite…
"Oh, my God! Let's, like, totally have a sleepover!" Nami suggested. She sounded like her 4kids variant.
"Yeah! And, we can, like, totally give each other makeovers!" Aki agreed. Yuki-Rin and Molly got up.
"That's nice and all, but, we're outta here," Yuki-Rin said.
"We heard a phantom of the Phantom of the Opera is here," Molly added.
"Inside my mind," Matsu added. Everyone grew silent, because, if they didn't, Kalifa was going to say that it was sexual harassment.
"Have fun," Nami said. When the two were gone, things got out of control.
"There's a phantom here?" Vivi cried.
"That's sexual harassment," Kalifa stated as she filed her nails with a pineapple. Vivi then shot fire from her mouth because the plot called for it. Nami sighed.
"We need to buy a bus," Nami stated. Over in the sexy bishouen – I mean, men's – suite…
"And, we're the three best friends that anyone can have! We're the three best friends that anyone can have! We're the three best friends that anyone can have!" All of the blonde-haired pirates – Sanji, Sabo, Hawkins, Killer, Doflamingo, Kazuma, Soren, Dewey, and Wolfgang – sang.
"Good! Now, the black-haired people!" Law said.
"And, we're the three best friends that anyone can have! We're the three best friends that anyone can have! We're the three best friends that anyone can have!" All of the black-haired pirates – Luffy, Usopp, Brook, Ace, Law, Capone, Urouge, Crocodile, Blackbeard, Jinbei, Kuma, Mihawk, Heathcliffe, Holden, Lucci, Jyabura, and Blueno – sang.
"Excellent! Now, the ging – I mean, red-heads like that bastard Kidd – I mean, Shanks!" Law said. Kidd gave him a death glare.
"You are so dead. TWICE," Kidd told Law. Nami then entered. She was holding a plastic baby.
"Whose baby is this?" Nami asked everyone. Nobody spoke, because they didn't know of the possible M-preg stuff that may have went on in the past. Thankfully, the M-preg didn't happen and the authoress of this fic isn't going to get sued.
"Hell yeah! Bonney's gonna live!" Blackbeard cheered as the other girls entered.
"That's sexual harassment," Hattori, NOT Kalifa, stated.
"Anyway, we have received word that a phantom is haunting this hotel," Nami explained. Everyone pointed to Isabella.
"Wasn't me," Isabella answered.
"Anyway, if we gave you a frosted tea cake, you're going to search for the phantom whether you like it or not," Nami explained. And, everyone checked inside the manilla envelopes they got for their tea cakes.
"Hell yeah! I got Twinkies!" Yuki-Rin yelled as she pulled out a packet of Twinkies.
"I got soy and miso-flavored cookies," Hawkins said as he pulled out a packet of miso and soy-flavored cookies.
"I got Limon 7," Hana said sadly as she pulled out a packet of lemon-flavored sugar powder.
"Haagen Daas!" Sanji, Robin, Kartik, Matsu, Ace, Sabo, Kidd, Killer, Law, and Bonney yelled, since they were the ones who got the tea cakes.
"Go fourth and get me a latté!" Nami ordered to the tea cake holders, who skipped out of the room.
"High school girls. High school girls. One, two, three, high school girls!" Killer sang as he skipped down the hall. Back in the suite, Luffy was crying, because Sabo and Ace were going into battle and they may die. (Not true, but, Luffy DID get left behind)
"Will you buy me a shotgun, Blaise?" Luffy asked Blaise.
"Sorry, I'm broke," Blaise answered. Inside the girls' suite…
"Nami-ya! You never told me Mr. Kidd would be here!" Law yelled.
"Not my fault that Kazuma got the anpan," Nami said as she handed bags to Sanji, Kartik, Matsu, and Robin.
"And what is this?" Sanji asked Nami.
"Your costumes! You're going to be shark bait for the phantom!" Nami cheerfully pointed out.
"Hoo-hah!" Bonney and Law shouted. Everyone else just looked at them.
"What? My life is average!" Bonney stated.
"Me too. Plus, tigers love pepper," Law explained. A few minutes later, Kartik, Matsu, Sanji, and Robin were now dressed in the clothes that were in the bags Nami gave them. Sanji and Robin were dressed in their Strong World formal clothes while Kartik and Matsu were dressed as characters from Phantom of the Opera.
"Perfect!" Nami said. Law just facepalmed.
"I thought we were re-creating The Hangover!" Law cried.
"Go form your own wolfpack!" Bonney yelled. Law smiled.
"I'm just a one-man wolfpack," Law stated as they entered the elevator and pressed the buttons. Everyone was silent.
"So… Did anybody see the new episode of Portlandia?" Sabo asked everyone.
"I don't get Anime Network on my ship," Kidd answered before they exited the elevator while badass music played in the background.
"Excuse me, Christine, can I have your autograph?" A boy named Shinji Ikari asked Matsu. Sanji punched him in the face.
"Hands off of my Matsu-swan," Sanji told Shinji before the so-called "wolfpack" traveled to the gondolas.
"You guys ready?" Nami asked the wolfpack as they boarded the gondola.
"I'm ready to kill the phantom and leave because of Trafalgar," Kidd stated before Sabo and Ace began to row.
"In sleep he sang to me. In dreams he came to me," Matsu sang.
"Well, we're living in Trafalgar Town, and he's driven our lives into the ground," Kidd sang. Nobody laughed.
"It's only funny if you've seen The Hangover," Killer stated. A few minutes later, they arrived at the theater.
"What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze?" Killer sang. Then, the Phantom of the Opera appeared.
"Matsu, don't make-out with this man, or problems will ensue!" Kartik advised Matsu.
"Do they involve Mike Tyson?" Law asked Kartik, who facepalmed.
"Enough with these Hangover refrences!" Kartik yelled.
"Matsu, remove the mask," Robin the mask the phantom was wearing, and gasped.
"No… It can't be!" Matsu cried.
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules, and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
"Hell no! It can't be Rick Astley!" Sanji cried.
"HE is the Phantom?" Nami cried.
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Law began to cry as he banged his fists on the floor.
"All of this and we don't even fight Mike Tyson?" Law cried. Robin's face turned to horror.
"No. Just no," Robin stated.
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
"What. The. Fuck?" Kidd asked Killer.
"We've been Rick-Rolled," Killer stated.
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
"I thought somebody was going to give me a mecha!" Bonney cried before the wolfpack – even Kidd and Killer - broke down crying. The next day, the rest of the pirates were picking up the wolfpack from the police station.
"I wouldn't expect Kartik and Matsu to get arrested," Hana commented. Smoker – the cop, since we need a cameo from Smoky-Smoke – chuckled.
"No. These people volunteered to teach kids how to use a taser correctly," Smoker explained as he handed Nami a taser. Nami then tazed Sanji in the crotch.
"Gahhhhhhhhhh! What the hell?" Sanji cried before he fainted. Nami then tazed Ace just for the hell of it. Hana turned to Yuki-Rin.
"Let's go back to the ship and never speak of this again," Hana explained.
"Ditto," Yuki-Rin agreed.
Ending Note: You've been Rick-Rolled!
Review if you want to see Daisuke submit videos to Grand Line's Funniest Home Videos, Crocodile and Dolfamingo hitting each other with videotapes, and Capone dressing in leiderhosen.