While Juliet was upstairs pretending to be dead, her family was staying up all night in order to make sure everything was ready for the wedding. In other words, now they're going to have even more reason to fall asleep during the ceremony.
"Hold," Lady Capulet said, handing the Nurse a set of keys, "take these keys, and fetch the spices, Nurse."
The Nurse did as the Lady told her, and after a minute of shuffling through the pantry she unlocked, returned to the bride's mother with the bridesmaids: five beautiful singing Brits named Ginger, Baby, Posh, Scary, and Sporty who were about to make it big by telling the world what they want, what they really, really want, and with the movie they would make to capitalize on their fame, give Hugh Laurie his single best role ever.
Shortly after the Nurse's reentry, the father of the bride stepped into the kitchen. "Come, stir, stir, stir!" he said quickly. This was not, in fact, an order to practice for the dance they were planning to debut to the limited view of the world that people had at the time, but just a simple order for the ladies to work even harder and faster on the food they were preparing. "The second cock hath crowed." Roosters typically cock-a-doodled three times a day, first at midnight, then at three A.M., and finally an hour before sunrise, which meant it was just past three, but who cares about what he meant, he said cock! "Look to the baked meats, good Angelica," he told the Nurse, thereby revealing her true name for all those who care. "Spare not for cost."
"Go you cot-quean," the Nurse said loud, black, and proudly, "go, get you to bed. Faith, you'll be sick tomorrow for this night's watching."
"No, not a whit," Capulet shook his head. "What, what," he continued, adding a second "what" to better appeal to his servant's urban upbringing, "I have watched ere now all night for lesser cause, and ne'er been sick."
"Ay," the Nurse replied, "you have been a Mouse Hunt in your time, but I will watch you from such watching now." At the time, a mouse-hunt was a man who liked to chase after women (in a completely non-stalker-y way, mind you), and not the movie starring Nathan Lane, Lee Evans, and Christopher Walken that we all know today, but even if the Nurse's sentence doesn't make much grammatical sense, sense is overrated anyway, and given Capulet's character, the movie reference seems all right. But I don't have to explain my jokes to you.
"A jealous hood! A jealous hood!" Well, of course the 'hood is going to be jealous of you, Capulet, you're a rich white dude and they're living in the 'hood. Upon the entrance of several unnamed servingmen, Capulet asked one of them, "Now, fellow, what is there?"
"Things for the cook," the first servingman said, pointing out the fact that he was holding spit (the metal thing you insert into meat, not saliva, although that, too, was also in his hands). "But I know not what."
"Make haste, make haste," Capulet ordered the man, patting him on the shoulder as he hurried into the kitchen. "Sirrah, fetch drier logs," he ordered a second servingman, who was holding a wet log, if you and your double entendre-rich mind know what I mean. I'm terrible. "Call Peter." Need some context? "He will show you thee where they are." Now you have it.
"I have a head, sir," the second servingman said, inspiring groans from the more educated crowd and but-gusting laughs from the more special crowd that, unfortunately, lack of material is forcing me to reach to for an audience. "That will find out logs and never trouble Peter for the matter." Good for Peter, because that was dirty.
"Mass," Capulet said as he nodded with approval, "and well said. A merry whoreson, ha!" Believe it or not, this was a compliment. Really, you can go up to your friends right now and call them all "whoresons," and no harm will be done.* "Thou shalt be loggerhead." Here Capulet takes on the Lucy van Pelt role, and proceeds to call the servingman a blockhead. Praise followed immediately by an insult; women, huh?
"Good faith, 'tis day," Capulet remarked, and even though it was only three A.M. here in Italy, Capulet, Alan Jackson, and Jimmy Buffett all knew it was five o'clock somewhere, so this statement was correct regardless of time zone, which had yet to be invented, by the way. "The County will be here with music straight." Apparently all this homoerotic subtext with the servingmen had gotten to him, so he turned on the anachronistic radio sitting in the kitchen for some escape; Elton John began echoing through the house, much to Capulet's ironic relief.
"Nurse! Wife!" he shouted. "What ho! What, Nurse, I say!"
The Nurse turned to Capulet and awaited orders.
"Go waken Juliet," he told her. "Go and trim her up." Trim here means "dress," not "reduce," so all you folks worrying that once again, society's demand for thin women is going too far, can calm down and continue eating your nachos. "I'll go and chat with Paris." Yes, you read that right. He talked like a twenty-first-century person there. "Hie, make haste, make haste." The moment is gone, and so is the Nurse, who had demands to fulfill. "The bridegroom is come already." Dirty! "Make haste, I say!"
*Do not do this.