"I give up," Beca shrugged as she placed the two needles and yarn on her lap.
"But you've only just begun, honey," Nicole, her mother, said in amusement.
"I know you find this funny but it's not, mom. I'm really bored," Beca whined.
"Then get back to whatever it is you're trying to knit." Her mom gestured with her hand at the materials on her daughter's lap as she brought her cup of coffee to her lips.
"It's supposed to be a scarf," Beca told her as she tried to pick up where she left off.
"You don't know what you're doing, do you?" Nicole chuckled.
Beca sighed then looked up. "I'll just ask Sheila to show me again," she said, running her fingers through her hair.
"Just let her knit the scarf," Nicole suggested and held back a chuckle at how frustrated Beca was before her eyes fell on the fainted bruise that the IV needle left her daughter's forearm.
"No, I'll figure it out eventually." Beca leaned against the pillows then looked up hearing a knock on the door.
"Hello," Rafael greeted as he awkwardly waved.
"Rafael," Beca said in surprise. "Hi." She glanced at her mother whose head was tilted towards the door.
"Um, I hope I'm not intruding," he carefully said.
"No, of course not," Beca assured him.
"I just wanted to come and see how you're doing." He stepped into the room. "And properly apologize," he continued to say.
"Dude, it's fine," Beca was quick to say. "Um, mom, this is Rafael. He's a friend," she introduced him to her mother.
"Pleasure meeting you, ma'am," Rafael smiled at the older woman who smiled back at him. "And, here's your get well soon gift." He extended a paper bag towards Beca.
"Thanks," she accepted the bag from him and reached inside it. Pulling the content of the bag, she read the label, "Thermax Warming Cream for Cold Hands and Feet by Verseo."
She looked up and eyed him with confusion, wondering how he came to know that she had a bad blood circulation that made her feet always cold.
"You tweeted about it," he said as if he was reading her mind and she nodded.
"Well, thank you," she thanked him. "This is really useful," she genuinely smiled at him and watched his smile turn into a grin.
"Awesome." He slipped his hands into his pockets then looked towards Nicole whose phone rang.
"It's your aunt," she looked at Beca.
"Last time I almost fell asleep," Beca shook her head. "Her health lectures are ridiculously long and so boring."
"I'll tell her you're asleep then," Nicole sighed and got up walking out of the room to speak on the phone.
"I'm gonna get going," Rafael looked back at Beca.
"Thanks for this again," Beca thanked him as she nodded at the warming cream.
"Yeah, no problem. You just get better."
"What are you doing here?" Both Beca and Rafael looked at the source: Jesse who was standing in the doorway looking anything but pleased.
"Um, I just came to see how Beca is doing," Rafael spoke slowly as he eyed Jesse.
"Jesus, man, she's not interested," Jesse spat out.
"Jesse," Beca hissed at his rudeness.
"No, Beca, I saw how you pushed him." He glanced at Beca before looking back at Rafael. "Take a fucking hint."
"Hey, are you okay, man?" Rafael asked, his profession taking over him once he noted pale Jesse looked and the way he was sweating.
"I'm fine," Jesse attempted to shrug and winced. Rafael tried to check Jesse's pulse but couldn't when Jesse pushed his hand away.
"Just leave," Jesse told him straightening up despite the pain.
"I was actually leaving. And I would go lay down if I were you—is there any bleeding?" He tried to look behind the jacket that hid Jesse's stomach.
Jesse was going to ignore him then saw the way Beca was glaring at him and unzipped his jacket and pulled up his sweatshirt to let Rafael see the gunshot wound.
"Looks fine," Rafael announced as he eyed Jesse's stomach not daring to touch him.
Jesse dropped his sweatshirt and watched Rafael straighten up.
"Right," Rafael nodded and tilted his head to look at Beca who was glaring at Jesse. "Get well soon," he said then stepped out of the room.
"What the hell was that?" Beca asked as she continued to glare at Jesse.
"I don't know what kind of games he's trying to play because actions speak louder than words, Beca. If he didn't understand your body language then something is wrong with him—"
"—Jesus Christ," Beca said under her breath as she held her head and shook it. "He was here to apologize."
"Sure," Jesse snorted.
"You didn't have to be such an asshole to him," Beca mumbled.
"Why do you suddenly care so much?" he found himself wondering as he frowned.
"What are you trying to say, Jesse?" she asked trying not to let him get on her nerves because he was acting weird and very unlike himself.
"Nothing," he said deciding to drop it. Beca grimaced feeling his pain when he held onto the wall in pain.
"Are you okay, Jesse?" Nicole asked in concern as she stepped into the room after finishing her phone call.
"Yeah," he nodded and straightened up. "It's just that it hurts when I move any muscle," he waved his hand as he explained without moving his arm much.
"Have you been lifting things, Jesse?" Beca knowingly asked.
"It's out of impulse," he started to say. "Sam came running towards me and I couldn't not leap her up in my arms," he told her as he sat down next to Beca on the bed.
"Dude, you can't do that. You just got the fucking stitches off, Jesse!"
"Beca, he just told you it's an impulse. He didn't mean to cause himself harm," Nicole carefully said noting the way her daughter was getting irritated with Jesse's careless behavior.
"No, she's right." Jesse sighed. "I scared Sam." He scratched his stubble. "I yelped so hard, she cried thinking it's her fault," he said sounding bitter at himself then jumped in his seat hearing someone drop a crutch in the hallway.
"Hey, it's okay," Beca softly said as she reached for his hand. "You're fine," she told figuring the way he was acting was the effect of the trauma that being shot caused was starting to show.
Jesse rubbed his face with his free hand then sighed nodding his head when she squeezed his hand weakly.
"Hey, what was your friend apologizing for and you interrupted him?" Nicole wondered as she leaned against her chair once they fell into a silence.
Jesse looked up and Beca resisted the urge to roll her eyes because her mother had to be the most observant person ever.
"He didn't know I'm with Jesse and kissed me," Beca lied to her mother feeding her curiosity and noted the flicker of anger in Jesse's eyes that her words caused.
Nicole nodded and frowned eyeing Jesse before she glanced at her daughter to see if she was aware of Jesse's state to find her already watching him.
"Jesse, the man of the hour," Bumper exclaimed as he hopped next to Jesse on the couch.
(Having Nicole in New York, it was best if Jesse spent the nights at Beca's house to avoid questions. There was that and the fact that he needed someone to look after him.)
"What are you watching?" Bumper asked when Jesse glanced at him and looked back the TV screen that was currently playing commercials while he scratched his dog's muzzle that was also staying at Beca's place.
"Family Guy," Jesse answered.
Bumper nodded. "Have you eaten yet?" he wondered.
"Bumper, you don't have to babysit me," Jesse sighed.
"I am not babysitting you," Bumper casually said. "I'm ordering dinner and wanted to know if I should order for you too."
"Alright, what are you ordering?" Jesse asked.
"Chicken wings for Amy, Thai for Beca's mom and Stacie, and Chinese for myself." He paused. "What will it be?"
"Pepperoni pizza," Jesse said because it was on top of his head.
"Okay." Bumper nodded and looked at Jesse when he grunted trying to get comfortable. "You okay there, man?" he asked.
"Does it matter?" Jesse deadpanned.
"Yeah. It does matter a great deal."
"Well, I constantly feel like shit and I'm making the people I love feel like shit." He pressed a cushion against his stomach because the doctor told him it would minimize the ache before he sat up. "Oh, and I heard Beca tell Chloe she's not sure feels the same way I feel about her. So that was great to hear." Jesse found himself thinking of the day he overheard Chloe and Beca's conversation.
Jesse had discharged himself from the hospital four days after he had gotten shot, he went to see his daughter then made a stop by a food truck and got Beca's favorite food, Falafel, and went back to the hospital. (He, of course, asked her doctor if she was okay to eat it first.)
He was checking the falafel to see it was still warm as he walked towards Beca's room. Jesse smiled hearing Beca talking with Chloe then stopped in his tracks when he heard Chloe ask in confusion, "What do you mean you're still working on it?"
Jesse wouldn't usually eavesdrop but couldn't stop himself. He leaned against the wall as he heard Beca say, "it means what it means. We still have issues. Almost dying doesn't change the truth."
"Wow," Jesse muttered when he figured what was the topic of discussion was his and Beca's relationship.
"And what's this truth you speak of?" Chloe wondered.
"The fact that I'm still not sure if I want to get back with Jesse for good. I mean I know I care so much about him. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm not sure if I'm in love with him."
"With the way you're all over each other I thought you have figured your shit out," Chloe deadpanned.
"We're working on it, Chloe," Beca said in irritation.
Jesse scratched his stubble as he about that day. True they haven't sat down and talked about their relationship but he thought they had made some notable progress and hearing her say those words to Chloe broke his spirit a lot more than he'd like to admit.
Jesse snapped out of his thought when Bender jumped from the couch.
"Dude, you and Beca have been through a lot and still are going through a lot. I wouldn't wanna be in either of one your shoes and not because they won't fit 'cause I'm talking about the figurative sense of the sentence." Bumper paused when Jesse tilted his head to look at him. "You just focus on what's on your plate right now—again figurative speech—"
"And what is on my plate right now exactly?" Jesse asked.
"That would be getting better." Bumper carefully patted his shoulder and got up.
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As he stood in the hospital elevator, Jesse eyed his reflection on the door. It had been seven weeks since the accident and he looked like shit. Beca pointed it out the last time he went to see her which was the day before.
Deep down, he knew something was wrong with him and time proved him right. As hard as it was to admit or believe, he could feel himself getting worse very slowly, no matter how much he tried to deny it and put up a front, he knew he had developed issues. He, of course, tried to smile and joke about his state in front of Beca; pretend he was A-OK because she really didn't need to know about the night terrors and the random anxiety attacks. He had to make sure she stayed stable and had their baby when the doctor saw fit which happened to be today.
Yes. Their baby boy was supposed to be delivered today which also happened to be his birthday, which was Beca's choice— the doctor told her they were going to have to deliver him so she asked if she could pick the day— Jesse was touched by her choice. And he was also proud of her because she managed to keep their boy in the womb despite the odds. Their baby would have been delivered as soon as Beca got to the third trimester but with close monitoring, she made it a month into the third trimester. She knew she wouldn't be able to carry him throughout the entire pregnancy because it threatened her life and his by default so a month was a success.
Jesse found Beca biting her nails as she looked at the floor lost in her thoughts.
"Morning," he greeted and snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Oh, Jesse, hi," she looked up. "I didn't hear you come in," she admitted.
"Yeah, you were elsewhere. I saw that." He made his way to the bed and sat down on the space she made for him.
"I had a lot of free time the past almost two months," she sighed. "To think and overthink about everything that pops in my head." He smiled at her when she looked him in the eye then watched her reach and grab a large box that was near her.
"Happy birthday," she said to him as she held the box his way.
"You didn't have to," he told her as he accepted the box.
"I had Bumper go and buy it," she told him watching him open it and chuckle when he saw the content.
"Awesome, this is," Jesse said doing his above average impression of Yoda as he held the Yoda back bag she got him. "Thankful, I am," he continued and got her to roll her eyes.
"C'mere, nerd," she said gesturing for him to get closer and he obliged.
She kissed him while scratching the beard he had grown mainly because shaving required moving his arm higher than he'd like at first then as he got better physically he just felt lazy to shave.
"Ready to meet our son?" he asked pulling away. "I know I'm ecstatic to finally meet him," he said.
"Yeah, me too. But, it all feels so surreal, Jesse." She told him. "I just hope he doesn't turn out to have a lot of complications. I mean, it's obvious that he will have some trouble adjusting—"
"—Beca, stop," he interrupted as he cupped her cheek. He got so good at pretending to be strong he was starting to consider trying his luck at acting professionally. "Don't overthink. If anything was wrong with him the doctors would have delivered him sooner but they didn't." He forced a smile. "Joseph is gonna get here today and that's all you have to think about, okay?"
Beca nodded her head and tried not to read too much into how forced everything Jesse did felt. Even the way he kissed her lacked the passion it used to have. She put what she was feeling in the back of her head and decided to focus on what was happening today.
"Okay," she smiled.
"Good." He rubbed his thumb against her cheek before leaning in to place a kiss on her forehead.
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Beca got discharged from the hospital after a week of giving birth. She was happy to be out of there but also a little relented because it meant that she wouldn't get to see her baby as much as she would have liked since he had to stay in the NICU for two months after being born.
It sucked to leave him behind but she knew it was necessary and was planning on visiting whenever she could, given the fact that she was on her maternity leave and wouldn't be working.
Her recovery was quick, the risks that pre-eclampsia put on her health dropped by the time her baby's time in the NICU was up and he was fit to go home with her.
"Hey, there, tough guy," Beca greeted taking her son in her arms.
"Ready to go home?" she asked him feeling her heart melt at the clueless look he had in his eyes as he looked at her. "Well, ready or not, you're going home," she told him then placed a kiss on his head.
"Jesse?" she called tilting her head to look at Jesse had completely zoned out after he finished packing their son's belongings that weren't many.
"Huh?" He looked at her.
"All set?" she asked and he nodded. She eyed him for a few seconds then sighed and began making her way out of the room, glancing behind her to make sure Jesse was following her.
They haven't had any time to sit and have a proper talk about how odd he had been acting but whenever she tried to get him to talk to her he'd just tell her he was fine and fake a smile which was annoying her beyond belief but she couldn't press him to talk. They were busy trying to get better physically and be the best parents they could to their preterm baby who needed a lot more care than a full term baby did and she knew they'd end up fighting so she postponed talking.
"So, Christina texted me earlier," Beca started to say as she and Jesse stood in the elevator. "She was asking about you."
"She did?"
"Yeah, she was wondering if you're still mad at her."
"I was never mad at her." He tilted his head and began stroking their little one's cheek.
"You've been blowing her off for weeks now. You've been blowing everyone off for weeks actually," she said as she eyed him. "What's going on with you, Jesse?"
"Nothing," he curtly said.
"I'm not sick anymore, Jesse, you can drop the façade." She glared at him. Feeling her gaze, he dropped the hand that was stroking Joseph's cheek and looked at her.
Beca shook her head and stepped out of the elevator once it reached the ground floor and Jesse said nothing back.
Jesse followed in tow and got the door for Beca so that she could put Joseph into his seat. She cracked a smile eyeing him and pulled her cellphone to take a picture of him before she gently locked the door and climbed into the passenger seat of her car while Jesse sat behind the wheel.
"Beca, there's no façade, I'm just tired," Jesse said.
"No, it's more than that and you know it," she told him.
"Beca," he sighed.
"Don't fucking Beca me," she exclaimed.
She glanced at the backseat when Joseph began to fuss.
"Shit," she muttered. "I freaked him out."
"No, he just wants to sleep probably," Jesse told her after taking a good look at their son. "It's good for his lungs to cry," he added when he noted her guilty expression and patted her shoulder before he drove off.
"So you're not gonna talk to me?"
"I am talking to you," Jesse glanced at her.
"You know what I mean," she rolled her eyes.
"We'll talk later, okay?" He glanced again and watched her nod then lean against her seat and gaze out of the window.
"What?" Jesse asked when Beca pulled her phone from her pocket and kept looking at it as they stood in the elevator heading up to her penthouse.
"Chloe is calling me on FaceTime," she told him then gave Jesse Joseph before she answered the call.
"Hey," Chloe greeted dragging the word as she beamed at her friend. "Where is he?" she asked. "You said you were getting him home today," she said.
"Well, nice seeing you, too, Chloe."
Chloe rolled her eyes at Beca's words. "Can I see my nephew?" she asked.
Beca nodded and turned her phone towards Jesse who held Joseph in a way Chloe could see him. "Aw, he's adorable. And, so tiny—I hate that I'm not there to welcome him home with you guys."
"You're not missing much, Chlo," Beca assured her. "He's asleep almost always." Beca brought her phone to her.
"Still," Chloe dramatically sighed.
Stepping out of the elevator and inside the house, Beca arched an eyebrow at the huge banner that read: WELCOME HOME, JESSE & BECA'S SPAWN.
"Welcome home," Amy, Bumper, and Stacie collectively said.
Beca was touched by her friends' gesture to throw her baby a welcome home party. However, she had to roll her eyes at their choice of words for the banner. "He has a name," she said as she held back a smile while looking at Stacie, Amy, and Bumper who were holding balloons and were wearing party hats.
"Joseph Caleb Mitchell Swanson would take too much space," Stacie explained.
"Yeah, because his first name wouldn't be enough," Beca rolled her eyes again. "What's happening?" She heard Chloe ask so she turned the phone around to let her see for herself.
"You threw a party without me?" she asked, dramatically gasping. Bumper, who was wearing a red nose, shrugged.
"Okay, this is actually nice, which is why I'm not going to hold the fact that you didn't invite me against any of you," she added after a beat.
"Chloe, you live across the country," Amy frowned.
"That's totes irrelevant," Chloe said.
"Yeah, totally," Beca nodded turning the phone so she could look at her best friend.
"Ugh, I have to go back to work. Send me pictures of your spawn." She chuckled a little at the end. "I love you, bye."
"You, too," Beca smiled and hung up.
"Are we allowed to go near your spawn?" Stacie asked meeting Beca's gaze.
"Of course, we are," Amy walked past Stacie and towards Jesse.
Jesse placed a kiss on his little boy's head and carefully handed him to Amy.
Beca watched Jesse pull his phone and take one look at it before shoving it back in his pocket as he stepped away from Amy once Bumper and Stacie joined her.
"What's up?" Beca asked following him.
"Mom was asking if we set a date yet last time we talked," he told her as he made his way to the table that had cake and drinks on it. "And I'm not in a mood to put up with her," he deadpanned grabbing a root beer.
"She still thinks you're not up for marriage, huh?"
Jesse nodded and opened the bottle. "Yeah, which is weird considering she really wants us to get married." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Honestly, I don't get how my mother's brain works," Jesse said before bringing the beer to his lips.
"Do you think he has an idea on what's happening around him?" Beca wondered tilting her head to look at her friends who were gathered around joseph playing with him.
"He just sees shapes," Jesse shrugged.
"Are you sleeping over tonight?" she hesitantly asked.
"Do you want me to sleep over?" he asked back as he drummed his fingers on the bottle he was holding.
Beca nodded.
"Then I'll sleep over."
"Cool." She stepped closer to him. "Sorry I yelled at you earlier," she apologized as she scratched her temple and looked down at her feet.
Jesse threw an arm around her and pulled her to him hugging her and rubbing her back when he felt her relax.
Beca sighed hearing their 2-months old baby cry.
"C'mon, let's go save him from them," Jesse said pulling away.
"You said crying is good for his lungs," Beca reminded him.
Jesse shook his head. "Not this time around."
"You do realize that you haven't slept over since late December and it's almost May, right?" Beca said as she laid in bed with Joseph laying on her chest.
"Well, you spent 8 weeks at the hospital altogether and didn't need me around the time that Joseph stayed in the NICU." Jesse tugged up his t-shirt and removed it before he joined her on the bed.
"We barely hung out outside the hospital while Joseph was there," Beca said in realization and watched Jesse shrug.
"I don't think he's gonna fall asleep anytime soon," Beca sighed as she played with her very awake baby.
"When Sammy was a baby Sandra's mom showed us this sleep timetable to get her to sleep through the night as soon as possible, I'll ask her to give it to me," Jesse told her grinning when Joseph looked at him.
"That would be awesome 'cause I've never been and I don't plan on becoming a night owl."
"You've never been a morning bird either, Bec," Jesse noted.
"Yeah, I'm neither." She shrugged. "I'm a noon person." Beca wrapped her arms around the little boy and shifted to lay on her side in order to face Jesse then put Joseph down on the bed between them.
"Joseph," Jesse called. "Hey," he smiled when his tiny baby tilted his head following the sound that snapping his fingers made.
"My forearm is bigger than him," Jesse said in amusement.
"Right, poke fun at the infant," Beca rolled her eyes at his words.
"I'm serious." Jesse then sat up and extended his arm to show her. Beca snickered and grabbed her phone from the nightstand to take a picture of her son while his dad extended his arm near him.
"Okay, I got it," Beca said. Jesse nodded and leaned down to blow raspberry on Joseph's stomach.
She found herself smiling at the way Jesse was having fun with their boy so she took another picture then put her phone back on the nightstand.
"He's got your eyes, Becs," Jesse softly said as he eyed the little boy.
"A lot of babies have blue eyes when they're born then they turn brown or hazel," Beca told him.
"No, his are blue," Jesse confidently said as he stroked Joseph's cheek. "And are going to stay blue."
"Jesse, are you okay?" Beca asked noting the frown that formed on Jesse's forehead as he zoned out. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You said we'd talk later," she reminded him when he nodded.
"It's just that the past few months have been stressful that's all," he assured her. "It's all good now that you two are fine."
"What about you?" she asked.
"What about me?"
"You've been dealing with this," she said as she ran her fingertips on the gunshot scar on his stomach, "on your own."
"Beca, I'm doing fine," he insisted and continued to play with Joseph.
Beca watched him for a few seconds then pulled her hand from his body clenching her jaw and telling herself to let it go and not start a fight.
Jesse exhaled through his nostrils then took her wrist in his hand, "hey, I know you mean well but don't worry about me."
She nodded despite not believing him. He leaned in and kissed her as he let go of her wrist to cup her cheek when she kissed him back.
"What was that, Joseph?" Jesse asked pulling away when he heard him coo. "Oh, mama is yours, you say?" He looked down at their son. "Well, guess what, budd? You're gonna learn to share," he spoke in a funny voice before he rubbed his nose against Joseph's nose. Beca rubbed Jesse's back deciding to bring it up another time figuring that he wasn't ready to open up yet.
"You know, he could totally fit in that Yoda back bag you got me for my birthday," Jesse thoughtfully said as he tilted his head to look at Beca.
"You're not suggesting we put him in the back bag, are you?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Well, not now obviously. He's too young: when he's a little older," he said and looked back to Joseph and placed a kiss on his neck.
Beca woke to the sound of her little dude crying. The last thing she could remember was Jesse telling her to go ahead and sleep because she was very likely to get up in a few hours to feed Joseph. She rolled her eyes seeing that, unlike what he said he would do, Jesse didn't take Joseph to his room instead he let him spend the night with them. She sighed seeing that it was one-twenty in the morning before she sat up and picked the crying baby up who only calmed down when he began to feed.
Beca looked over at Jesse when he shifted in his sleep quite violently. It didn't take her long before she noticed the way he was sweating and breathing heavily clearly having a nightmare.
"Jesse," she called as she shook him. "Jesse, wake up. You're having a nightmare," she said as she continued to shake his shoulder.
She winced when shot up awake and gripped her wrist in horror.
"Jesse, you're hurting me," she said while trying break free from his hold.
He swallowed letting go of her wrist. "I'm sorry," he apologized.
She moved her wrist a few times and held Joseph closer to her as she eyed Jesse who was trying to control his breathing.
"What were you dreaming about?" she asked.
"It doesn't matter," he ran a hand over his face and got out of the bed heading to the en-suite bathroom where he stayed for almost half an hour.
When he got out, the bedroom was empty.
He freaked out for a half a second then headed to Joseph's nursery, breathing a sigh of relief when he found Beca there. She was putting Joseph in his crib when she felt Jesse's gaze. He was gone once she tilted her head.
"I'm pretty sure I didn't' dream telling you to put Joseph in his crib," Beca said as she stepped into the room.
Jesse nodded from his seat on the edge of the bed. Beca sighed and sat next to him.
They sat in silence for a few seconds before Jesse reached for her hand and took it in his examining her wrist.
"You think it will bruise?" he asked as he rubbed his thumb against her skin.
"No," she shook her head. "You barely gripped it."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you—"
"I know," she interrupted and reached with her free hand to stroke his cheek. "Do you always have nightmares?" she found herself asking. He nodded.
She hummed in response. "I'm guessing this is why you've avoided sleeping over for the past two months?"
He nodded again.
"Great, 'cause I thought you're snoring again," she joked and smiled when he chuckled. "Jesse, you don't have to hide from me," she told him and placed a kiss on his cheek.
"I'm not hiding from you," he tilted his head.
"Yeah, you are," she disagreed.
"I'm not," he insisted.
Beca moved her hand to his neck and sighed. "I don't know if you're in denial or think I'm stupid." She paused. "I'm done waiting around for you to get it together." She let go of his face. "You don't want to talk to me. Cool. No big deal. But I'm not gonna sit and watch you fall apart." She shrugged. "I've been burned before," she uneasily said because knew how much it bothered him to talk about the time he tried to basically rape her because of his unstable mental state back when he got into an accident with his ex-wife, who happened to be pregnant, and his daughter. An accident that caused a miscarriage and left him with post-traumatic-stress-disorder.
"You're going to see Dr. Martins ASAP," she decided reaching for his chin and tilting his head to make him look at her. He nodded, agreeing to go see a therapist they both had seen in the past. "Tell her I said hi. I'll probably pay her a visit soon," she mumbled the last part to herself interlocking her fingers and placing her hands on her lap. Jesse heard her and frowned.
"Why?"
"It's just that mom is scared I'd develop postpartum depression 'cause apparently it also runs in my family and she 'forgot' to give me the memo," she deadpanned. "The women in my family are very fortunate people," she sighed.
"Are you feeling depressed?" he asked turning to face her.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I haven't had the time think about how I'm feeling. I mean, I've spent—we've spent the last two months worrying over Joseph and his health," she said then stifled a yawn. "I know that I'm not feeling resentful nor do I hate how my body changed because of childbirth," she told him truthfully.
"You look awesome, Becs." He rubbed her back.
"You don't have to say that. If one thing, you won't be getting laid for being nice yet," she jokingly said.
"I mean it," he said reaching for her hands and taking them in his.
"Well, thanks," she smiled at him. "Wanna make out till we fall asleep like the old days?" she asked, thinking of the times she had calmed his nerves by making out until he could sleep when he was dealing with his PTSD.
"Yeah," he chuckled in spite of himself letting go of her hands and watching her climb on the bed before he climbed after her then wrapped an arm around her.
AN: I thought I could jam it all together in one chapter, two at most, then I thought about what is left to be told in this story and realized how unlikely it was. So, right now I'm not sure how many chapters you'll get. Bare with me, please.
Thank you for reading, you awesome folks. Leave a word if you want to, opinions are helpful. Okay, bye now!