The sun rose on a morning which wasn't quite as bright as usual. The blue of the sky was more grey. The sharp outlines of Heaven seemed smudged. The golden sunrise was more muted. Cas didn't notice any of this of course. He simply sat in his nest, staring at the wall, in the same position he had been in for the past three days. His wings lying flat across the floor. His blue eyes dull and empty. His face pale.

Suddenly there was a gentle flapping of wings behind him as Michael landed in the nest. "Castiel?" he said softly, "are you ready?'

Cas turned around, his face expressionless, barely seeming to take in what Michael was saying. "What for?" he asked flatly.

Michael swallowed, not believing that Cas had forgotten, "you know Castiel…today is Balthazar's funeral", he said his voice dropping off.

"Oh," Cas replied turning back around to face the wall. "I don't think I want to go."

"But Cas, you have to go. It's Balthazar. He…he was your brother, your best friend. Sitting here isn't good for you."

Cas turned around, his eyes flaming, "I don't need everyone's pity, especially not yours. You left him alone. You left all of us alone. You're the reason he's dead and that Gabriel's gone. If you had been more of a brother they still would have been here."

Michael sighed sadly, feeling a twinge of guilt at the truth of Castiel's words, but he shook that off, instead grabbing Cas and dragging him towards the edge of the nest. "Maybe it is my fault Castiel," he said, "but blaming each other won't change anything. Just come today and then I'll leave you alone and you can go back to staring at the wall, wasting your life if you want to. If you won't do it for yourself or for me, do it for Gabriel and Balthazar."

Cas stared up at Michael, defiance still clear in his face. But suddenly, his body drooped and he nodded, following Michael out of the nest, without another word.

As Cas and Michael approached the funeral, a hum of chatter became clear and groups of angels dressed in black became clear. Cas suddenly became embarrassed realising that he was still in his tan trench coat and struggled to get it off, before Michael put a hand on his arm saying, "leave it on. Balthazar wouldn't mind".

Slowly the two walked towards the rest of the angels, Cas drawing back as the got closer. As they walked past, the angels all bowed their heads and stopped talking, casting pitiful glances at Cas. Once they had walked past, Cas heard the murmurs start up again, no doubt discussing his abrupt disappearance from the life of Heaven.

Cas hurried forward, casting his eyes downwards and drawing his coat closer around him. Michael placed a hand on his arm and guided him to a row of empty seats at the front. Cas sat down numbly, his eyes drawn to the black covered coffin laying in front of the rows of seats. Suddenly the world seemed to go silent, the muttering of the angels fading into nothing more then a distant buzzing as Cas stared at the coffin. His brother was in there. The brother who had protected him. The brother who had shown him Earth for the first time. The brother who had made him laugh. The brother who was no more.

Somehow Cas made it through the funeral, staring blankly towards the front, deaf to the speeches of the angels who claimed to have known Balthazar but couldn't have known him as Cas had. Eventually, when it ended, Cas got to his feet and hurried off, desperate to escape the pitiful eyes of his brothers and sisters.

He had no idea where he was going but it didn't matter. He just wanted to escape everyone and everything. Eventually, he stumbled to a stop at the edge between Heaven and Earth. Maybe if he fell he would finally be able to disappear. He stood there, expecting to feel scared but instead he just felt a sense of…emptiness. Despite wanting to leave Cas found that he couldn't force himself over the edge. His feet seemed glued to the ground. His wings seemed to be tied down and his brain seemed to have ground to a halt.

Suddenly there was a noise behind Cas. Instead of turning around, Cas ignored it, not caring who it was or what they had to say.

Michael stared at Cas, realising he didn't know what to say now that he had found him. "Cas," he started, "are you going to come back?". Cas didn't react, seeming not to have heard Michael. Taking a deep breath Michael continued, "you have to come back. Heaven can't handle another loss. It wouldn't help."

Cas slowly turned around, his voice and eyes deadened, "who cares what Heaven wants?" he said slowly. "I wanted Gabriel and Balthazar to still be here but we don't always get what we want do we Michael?" Cas said scathingly.

Michael suddenly saw red, forgetting that he was trying to comfort Cas. "You will step back Castiel. You will come back to Heaven. How dare you disrespect me like that?"

Cas appeared to ignore Michael instead turning back around to look over the edge. Michael lunged forward and grabbed Cas' coat dragging him back. Cas looked infuriated, scrambling to get out of Michael's grip. "Let go of me," he shouted, "I'm not coming back."

Michael glared at him, looking more like the fierce soldier of Heaven than Cas had ever seen him look like. "You will come back Castiel," he said coldly, "that is a direct order." With that Michael grabbed onto Cas and dragged him back towards the archangel building throwing him into a room, saying "you will stay here until you learn some respect. Be thankful that I didn't take you down to the prison." And with that, Michael slammed the door closed on Castiel.

Cas slumped against the wall, falling to the ground, his head in his hands. For the first time since Gabriel had fallen, Cas sobbed, mourning the life he had lost. And for the first time in an eternity, he bowed his head and prayed.

Note: Hey everyone! This chapter was going to be a bit longer but I decided to split it into two seperate parts. I'm going away for a bit so I won't be able to write, but I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, let me know what you think!