For the final time on To Love The Enemy, on with the chapter..
Chapter 21: Truths
Before we can even think about anything Cato and I are whisked off to the president's mansion for a meal. The Victory Banquet is hosted by the president for the victor. It is the time where the victor can mingle with the Capitol officials and the generous sponsors that may have saved their lives.
Cato doesn't leave my side when we arrive. We are hurried inside to escape the flashing lights of photographers. Once inside we are both ushered upstairs and into a room with two guards on a far door. Any moment now the guards will beckon us towards them and we will be presented together as the Victors.
When the guards do gesture to us Cato walks me to the door with his arm protectively around my waist. The two doors open inwardly and we are greeted to a wall of sound. Cheers and applause radiates around us. Forcibly I place a gigantic smile across my face. The crowd had created a semi-circle around the doors, and even though they are within touching distance I can't make out any faces. Everything about them just looks a blur.
Cato keeps his arm around me as he walks me forward.
"You're much better at this than me." I whisper to him, although through the noise I don't know whether he heard.
"Ladies and Gentleman, if you'd care to take your seats." a person calls above the crowd. Hurriedly the crowd disperses to thier assigned table and Cato almost has to drag me to the top table.
We are seated in the very middle. I let out a sigh of relief when Haymitch takes a seat beside me.
"Relax sweetheart." he grins.
Mountains of food is served to us all; however, I am unable to finish even a fraction of it. When I glance over to Cato's plate I am grateful that he also doesn't finish his meal either. I want the meal side of this banquet to be dragged out as long as possible, for the 'mingling and dancing' part is something I have never been good at. Making friends is something that doesn't come naturally to me.
We are ushered out of the large room we have just eaten in, into what can only be described as a ballroom. The floor is a gleaming polished wood, the walls are either complete glass so that you can see out onto the vast amount of balconies or beautiful panels. A enormous chandelier hangs from the middle of the ceiling lighting up the room and reflecting off the floor. Huge velvet drapes cover the doors out to the balconies. To the end of the ballroom a set of stairs leads up to an indoor platform in which an orchestra is playing. Already the floor is filling up with people dancing around with a partner. Everything about it is magical.
The time passes and we get pulled from Capitol official to generous sponsor for a photograph. Drinks are thrown into our hands and we become increasingly intoxicated. My head begins to feel funny, I really can't understand how Haymitch is able to go around everyday like this. Never letting go of Cato's hand, we laugh and thank people and smile as photos are took.
"Will you dance with me?" Cato asks.
I look at him with a worried look which he laughs at for an answer.
He takes my hand properly and leads me onto the dance floor.
I have never danced like this in my life. I have never had the opportunity. Couples are joined together, spinning around and laughing joyfully.
Cato places my free arm onto his shoulder and places his arm around my waist, pulling me in close.
"Cato I honestly can't dance!" I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest.
"Don't worry, silly," he whispers, "I can!" He picks me up using his arm around my waist and slides his feet under mine.
And then we are whirling around like all the other couples.
"I feel like I'm a little girl." I laugh after a few minutes of effortless waltzing.
"You don't look like one." he murmurs, pulling me closer for a second and placing a small quick kiss on my lips.
Effie caught my eye for a moment on a turn. I smiled to her and Cinna who were also waltzing around the dance floor. Cinna looked as though he was subtly forced to be a gentleman. I let out a quiet chuckle that got absorbed by Cato's chest.
"This is the first time all night you've looked like you're enjoying yourself." Cato snorts to me.
The sound makes me laugh uncontrollably. Cato stumbles slightly because of me laughing causing him a distraction. Luckily we stumble into a glass door and not another couple. This makes both of us laugh.
Cato opens the door and almost has to push me out. I lean out against the wall and calm myself. As I breathe in the cool night air Cato picks me up and sits me on the wall. He pushes my thighs away from each other and nestles himself in-between them. I smile down to him, for once being taller.
Carefully I wrap my legs around him and place both my hands either side of his face. I pulled him up to me, somehow even closer, placing my lips on his.
Blood boiled up under both of our lips. Our breath came in wild gasps. I moved my hands and knotted my fingers into his hair, clutching him even closer to me. My lips parted and allowed me to breathe in his sweet sent. His tongue danced with my own, his hands gripped onto my thighs. I was sure I would have hand prints there, but I didn't care.
A single cough brought us out of our own world.
"You're missed at the party." Haymitch says.
As soon as Cato knows who it is his lips return. He manages to lift me off the wall so that nothing supports me except his arms. He places quick kisses along my lips, chin and neck. Then he releases my legs and sets me down.
Cato grabs my hand and laces his fingers mine.
"You look light-headed." Haymitch laughs and walks back through the doors.
"Is it my kissing expertise?" Cato laughs.
"I'm not too sure, but I feel woozy." I manage to respond. "It must be something else though."
His signature smirk appears on his face and his arms trap me in an inescapable snare.
"We need to rejoin the party." I explain.
The sun is just beginning to rise over the horizon when we stagger back to the Training Centre. Cato has to be forced out of the elevator on the second floor, not that I really want him to go. Haymitch senses my longing for him therefore personally escorts me to my room.
"Why can't I be with him?" I ask.
"Plenty of that later." says Haymitch. "Go to bed, you're live at two."
Despite being forced into my room I am determined to see Cato. After tossing and turning for what seems like hours, I slip into the hall. Quickly I race to the elevator, I am about to call it but instead head for the stairs. The noise will wake someone up I'm sure and I will be stopped.
I stumble aimlessly down the stairs, stopping momentarily at each deserted floor. Finally when I reach floor two I try to turn the knob, but find it locked. I suspect Haymitch and Enobria immediately, but then there's a more insidious fear that the Capitol may be monitoring and confining me from him. I've been unable to escape since the Hunger Games began, but this feels different. Much more personal. I feel like a prisoner awaiting his sentence.
I quickly return to my bedroom and pretend to be asleep until Effie Trinket comes to alert me to the start of another "big, big, big day!"
I have about five minutes to eat a bowl of hot grain and stew before the prep team descends. All I have to say is "the crowd loved you!", and it's unnecessary to speak for the next couple of hours. When Cinna comes in, he shoos them out and dresses me in a white, gauzy dress and pink shoes. Then he personally adjusts my make-up until I seem to radiate a soft, rosy glow.
Usually the interview takes place down the hall in the sitting room of the Victors floor, however this year they've decided to interview us both in the training room. When I arrive Cato is already leaned up against a wall. He is in deep conversation with Caesar Flickerman.
The training room looks completely different. The place has been completely stripped bare of what contained it before. Leaving out only the archery and sword fighting station, I laugh inwardly at this. A love seat faces a single arm chair and is surrounded by vases of red and pink roses. There are only a handful of cameras to record the event. No live audience at least.
Caesar gives me a warm hug when I approach them both. "Congratulations, Katniss. How are you faring?"
"Fine. Nervous about the interview" I say.
"Don't be. Cato and I will be here to guide you." he says. I feel Cato place his familiar arm around me and pull me in for a sideways squeeze.
"Shall we start?" Caesar asks.
Slowly we all walk over to the furniture. I sit somewhat formally on the love seat, but Caesar says, "Oh, go ahead and curl up against him. It looked ever so sweet!" So I tuck my feet up and Cato pulls me in close to him.
Someone counts backwards and just like that we're being broadcasted live to the entire country. Caesar is wonderful, teasing, joking, getting choked up when the occasion presents itself. He and Cato bounce off each other, so I just smile a lot and try to speak as little as possible.
"Tell me Cato, when Clove died, how did you cope?" Caesar asks.
"I don't know Caesar. It's something that for some reason I knew would happen. All through the Games I started to prepare myself for it. I wanted it to be quick and painless. That's what aggravated me more. I owe Clove my world, because without her sacrifice I wouldn't have my Katniss today." he replies slowly. Caesar pulls out a handkerchief and has to take a moment because he's so moved. I can feel Cato press his lips against my forehead.
When Caesar pulls himself together he starts to direct questions to me that pose for fuller answers. "Tell me Katniss, when did you realise you loved Cato?"
"Oh that's a hard one..." I give a faint, breathy laugh and look down at my hands.
"Well I know when it hit me. That moment when you noticed the spear in his thigh. From that moment on you did everything you could to save him." says Caesar.
"Actually it was before then, that moment when we found out two could win. Everything changed. For the first time I was able to keep him." I say, I turn to face Cato. "I don't think I'd be able to continue without him."
"Or I you." he replies. And when he kisses me, people in the room actually sigh.
For Caesar this is a natural place to segue into all the ways we didn't get hurt. From the initial bloodbath, to the burns, to the blood poisoned wound. But it's not until we get to the final day that i remember we are on camera.
"What was going through your head when you saw Cato?" he asks.
"Everything. I wanted so badly for him to run to me and tell me everything was going to be alright. But thankfully he knew how to handle the situation. Acting normal was the hardest thing I have ever done, I am sure any moment longer and she would have turned round and everything would have changed." I say.
"And you Cato, what did it feel like when you saw Katniss in harms way." Caesar asks.
"It took all my strength not to make a noise. And believe me out there, in the open it's the hardest thing to do. I can't remember anything that went through my head other than the desire to keep her alive." he responds. I lean in closer to him and his arm tightens around me.
"One last question, Katniss, from the moment you handed Cato the knife, what was going through your head?"
I take a long pause to collect my thoughts. This is the moment where I either challenge the Capitol or not. It seems to call for a big, dramatic speech but all I get out is one almost inaudible sentence. "I said before, living without him I just... couldn't bare the thought."
"Cato anything to add?" asks Caesar.
"No. I think that goes for the both of us." he says.
Caesar signs off and it's over. Everyone's laughing and crying and hugging. But I'm not sure what to do. What happens now? Do we get to move to the same District?
Instead of waiting I head back to my room to collect a few things. But I find there's nothing to collect but my mockingjay pin Madge gave to me. Someone returned it to my room after the Games. They drive us through the streets in a car with blacked out windows. Cato sits stiffly beside me, his face shows that he is in deep thought. Does he know what will happen?
"After the train I won't see you for a few months." he finally says.
"Why? Why can't we live together?" I ask, biting back the tears.
"Moving between Districts is forbidden." he answers.
The trains waiting for us, we hardly have time to say goodbye to our prep teams, although I will see them as well in a few months when we your the Districts for the victory tour. It's the Capitols way of reminding people that the Hunger Games never really goes away. We'll be given a lot of useless plaques and everyone will have to love us.
The train begins to move and we are plunged into the night until we clear the tunnel and I take my first free breath since the reaping. With the Capitol growing further away with every second I begin to relax. However District 2 is growing closer and I know that in a few minutes I will have to say goodbye. We get served a dinner and we both eat in silence. A hostility grows between us that neither of us wants but is powerless to stop.
When the train stops at a station I refuse to let him go. Tears stream down my face, but I don't care what I look like. How am I supposed to survive without him? I wouldn't be alive without him.
I hear his voice reassuring me, telling me everything will be alright. I don't want him to go.
Haymitch manages to prise me off him and I watch through watery eyes and he steps off the carriage and the doors close behind him.
Haymitch rocks me back and forth as the tears spill quicker now. Every second we get further and further away from him.
Eventually I stop. I head to the bathroom and wash all the evidence off my face and put my hair back into its braid. I begin to look myself again. Katniss Everdeen. The girl who lives in the Seam. The girl who hunts in the woods with Gale. I stare in the mirror as I try to remember who I am and who I am not.
The idea of seeing Gale in a matter of hours makes my stomach churn. But why? I can't quite frame it in my mind. I only know that it feels like I've been lying to someone who trusts me.
Haymitch startles me when he lays a hand on my back. "We'll be home in five minutes." he says.
I head out to the carriage properly and watch our grimy little station rise up around us. Through the window, I can see the stations thick with cameras. Everyone will be eagerly watching my homecoming.
I step out of the doors into a blinding wall of light. Flashes hurt my eyes.
"Katniss!" a higher pitched voice calls that I recognise. Immediately a small person jumps up and crashes into me. I don't need to look to know that it's her. I snuggle my face into her hair and breath in the sent I've missed so much. The sent of home. Of Prim.
This is it! The final one:( I want to thank you all for reading, favouriting, author alerting me, story alerting this. Everything means a lot to me. You've all joined me on a journey, and I hope throughout my writing has progressed? I love everything about this, and I'm sure some of you will be happy to know the sequel is on its way! As next Tuesday (23rd July) I finish school. That means that I have a lovely 6 weeks to make a start on it:))) everything about this couple invites me in, but I'm open for any suggestions for other story ideas. Drop me an PM, I am also happy to 'unofficially' beta anyone who wants me too. Any questions PM me :-)