Scrubs Season 4 Episode 21 My Janitor
We start with J.D. walking down a corridor he is holding a cup.
J.D.: Its been nearly 4 years since I started here, those 4 years have been great but there has always been one thorn in my side.
Dr. Cox walks by J.D.
DR. COX: See you tomorrow Pauline.
J.D.: No not Dr. Cox.
Dr. Kelso walks by.
DR. KELSO: Some days I just wish a rock would destroy this hospital and everything in it.
J.D: Its not even Dr. Kelso. Those two are nothing compared to this man.
At the end of the corridor we see the janitor standing there staring at him.
J.D.: The janitor.
J.D. walks up to him.
J.D.: Janitor.
JANITOR: Scooter.
J.D.: What horrible deviant acts have you got planned for me today then.
JANITOR: I couldn't possibly tell you that it will ruin the look of surprise that's going to be plastered on your face.
J.D.: But I know something is coming so it isn't going to be much of a surprise.
JANITOR: But the question is when, when will it come. You will be nervous all day sitting waiting.
The janitor walks off.
J.D.: Bring it on bitch.
J.D. walks in the direction the janitor did and takes a sip of his drunk. He immediately gags. We see the janitor smiling at him.
J.D.: My god is that…
JANITOR: Mop water yeah.
J.D. runs off holding his mouth.
JANITOR: It's going to be a long day for you my friend.
Opening credits
We begin with J.D., Turk and Elliot sitting at the café with coffee's (although Turk has water).
ELLIOT: So you think the Janitor swapped your early morning coffee with mucky mop water.
J.D.: Yeah.
ELLIOT: That's crazy how would he do that?
J.D.: I don't know he has magical powers. For four years its been the same story. Everyday he finds new ways to torture and humiliate me.
TURK: Why does he bother?
J.D.: I don't know.
TURK: He waits long enough you will humiliate yourself eventually.
Elliot laughs.
J.D.: Thanks for the great pick me up.
ELLIOT: It's probably just all in your head.
J.D.: It's not, follow me around all day I bet you he will do something.
ELLIOT: I haven't got time for that.
TURK: I'm in.
We go to Turk and J.D. walking down a corridor.
J.D.: So how's the baby coming along?
TURK: It isn't. Carla and me keep having sex after sex after sex and we just cant make a baby.
J.D.: I feel so sorry for you.
TURK: Well we have been walking for like an hour now and I haven't even seen the janitor never mind see him doing something to you.
J.D.: He's binding his time.
TURK: Dude I think your crazy.
J.D.: Well wait here I just got to go pee.
J.D. goes into the bathroom we follow him. He goes to the urinal and does his thing.
J.D.: I knew that if I just waited long enough the janitor would get sick of waiting and strike then Turk would believe me.
He zips up and goes to the sink he turns on the tap but it goes all over his scrubs. He looks down at them.
J.D.: Janitor.
The janitor comes out of a stall.
JANITOR: You rang.
J.D.: Why did you do this to me?
JANITOR: I think you'll find you did that to yourself.
J.D.: I hate you, you know that right?
JANITOR: Wouldn't have it any other way.
J.D. leaves the bathroom. We follow him. Turk looks down at the wet stain.
TURK: Dude your suppose to pull the scrubs down before you pee.
J.D.: I know that. It was the Janitor.
TURK: The Janitor peed on you?
J.D.: No he fixed the tap so it would wet me.
TURK: How would he know that it would get you and not anybody else?
J.D.: I don't know like I said before he has magical powers.
TURK: I'll believe it when I see it J-Dizzle.
Turk walks off.
J.D.: Damn it.
Intermission
We join J.D. who is at the Nurses' station talking to Carla. He is holding a chart.
J.D.: It's like he's everywhere you know.
CARLA: I haven't seen him all day so no I don't know.
J.D.: You believe me though don't you?
CARLA: A man who's life's work is to make you suffer. No I don't believe you bambi.
Dr. Cox walks in.
J.D.: Dr. Cox do you believe me about the janitor.
DR. COX: What the fact that you would be better as one yes I do believe you Cindy.
J.D.: No the fact that he's out to get me.
DR. COX: Well if I was him I would be doing the same thing so yes I do believe you.
J.D.: Great. I think. Ok its time to stop focusing on the janitor and just get on with the day.
Elliot comes out of nowhere.
ELLIOT: Hey sexy.
J.D.: Elliot will help me forget about the janitor. Hey.
ELLIOT: Janitor not killed you yet then?
J.D.: Just what I need to help me forget. Nope still here.
ELLIOT: For what's its worth I believe you.
J.D.: Really?
ELLIOT: No I just know that's what you wanted to here.
J.D.: Well thank you.
ELLIOT: It just doesn't make any sense. If he has been doing it for four years I would have known.
J.D.: That's his power.
ELLIOT: Ok well I am off work I will see you (gives him a kiss) at home.
J.D.: Ok I'll see you later.
Elliot leaves. Dr. Cox comes up.
DR. COX: 4 whole years. Ive got to meet this guy. We could so swap ideas.
J.D.: You know you could be more helpful.
DR. COX: But where's the fun in that newbie.
J.D.: I see your point.
J.D. tries to drop the chart but cant.
DR. COX: Not a strong moment for you there.
We see the janitor looking at him holding a tub of glue.
J.D.: You have got to be kidding me.
We see the janitor laughing, Dr. Cox looks at the janitor and joins in laughing. J.D. runs off with the chart still stuck to his hand.
DR. COX: He's like my own personal hero. I'm out of here have a good one…
He looks around to only see Carla looking at him.
DR. COX: …Sports fan.
CARLA: Yeah see you tomorrow Perry.
We go to J.D. who walks into the bathroom he uses the same tap and gets wet again.
J.D.: Goddamn Janitor.
The janitor walks in after him.
JANITOR: How you doing peepee pants.
J.D.: Why today?
JANITOR: What do you mean?
J.D.: You have picked on me today more than you normally do.
JANITOR: You mean you don't know.
J.D.: What?
JANITOR: Its our 4 years anniversary.
J.D.: Again what?
JANITOR: Its 4 years ago today that you broke my door by putting the penny there.
J.D.: I didn't put the penny there.
JANITOR: Yeah sure.
J.D.: So because its out 4 year anniversary you thought you would torture me even more to mark the special occasion.
JANITOR: Yeah pretty much.
J.D.: Why?
JANITOR: I just wanted you to remember today.
J.D.: Oh I think I'm going to have a hard time forgetting it.
JANITOR: Than my work today is done. See you tomorrow Scooter.
J.D.: I'll look forward to it.
The janitor exits.
J.D.: At least he enjoyed his special day.
J.D. follows the janitor out but just bounces off the door. The janitor opens the door to show he had his foot there blocking it.
JANITOR: Ok I'm done.
He walks off leaving J.D. on the bathroom floor.
J.D.: I hate anniversaries.
End Credits