I woke up the next morning, refreshed and ready to start the day. As I made breakfast, I heard murmurs of ponies from outside. Strange, I thought, there are no festivals this time of year, and the Summer Sun Celebration's coming up, but not to here… I quickly gobbled down my breakfast just to see what was going on. I opened my front door to see almost everypony from town standing outside, all anxiously talking about how I was making superheroes.
"There she is!" Derpy pointed me, standing at my door, out to everypony. My hero, I snarked in my head. The ponies all came towards me like a flood, but I held up both my fore hooves for them to stop. I shouted to the crowd, "Alright, not all of you can be superheroes! I only need four more! So, if you haven't saved Equestria, ever, from certain destruction, go home now!"
Most of the ponies left from that signal, leaving my main friends, a few one-time heroes I had heard about in the newspaper, and Fire Twilight. I then said, "Alright, if you're not an Element of Harmony, go home." The remaining ponies left, leaving my main group of friends, and of course, Fire Twilight. I came to him and asked, "Alright, why are you still here?"
"Because I'm the coltfriend of the most important Element of Harmony!"
"Okay, I'll let you off the hook for that. Now let's see…we've got you five, plus Spike and Fire Twilight. That's only eight. Although, Rarity would like some recognition as well…alright, let's start with her." I went into my house, the six ponies following behind me, and started on Rarity's superhero persona.
Narrator: The Canterlot Boutique has been as busy as ever since the frigid winter has come onto Equestria. Rarity now must find a rare item for an important client: a cave-full of Ice Diamonds. They are only found in one place: The even more frigid mountains of Scandineighvia. The fashonista must make this hike alone, and find the Ice Diamonds herself.
(Rarity has reached a high peak, climbing up in fashionably suitable clothes for the weather.)
Rarity: I can't believe I've made it to this height. (sighs) The storm's picking up. I should find shelter…
(She spots a nearby cave and walks into it, hoping the storm will let up soon. She walks further in, finding three diamonds that form a triangle, much like her cutie mark.)
Rarity: Oh, my…these look like the ones on my flank; fancy that! Good thing I have my pickaxe.
(She magically takes the pickaxe out of her saddlebag and picks away at the gems. Once she has removed all three stones, she begins to walk away. Suddenly, there's a cave-in, leaving the unicorn stuck in the cave, but reveals a new way out where the three gemstones used to be. She walks in, and gasps upon finding…)
Rarity: The fabled Ice Diamonds from Scandineighvia! Oh, this is an excellent find!
(Rarity grabs one of the Ice Diamonds, but when she touches it, her eyes glow and her horn glows with magic. The Diamonds fill into her saddlebags, and one places itself around her neck, making a necklace. She gently levitates down, and with a blink, her eyes return to normal.)
Rarity: Oh, my….I better look for a way out of this rubble. (looks up) There seems to be an opening at the top. If I could just get to-!
(Her horn lights up brilliantly, and creates a path of ice all the way to the top. She nervously goes up the path, which isn't as slippery as she thought. When she reaches the top, she sees the storm has died down and looks at her necklace.)
Rarity: This Ice Diamond has blessed me with extraordinary powers, and I shall use them to protect the innocent. But first, I must get home.
Narrator: The unicorn takes the train home, and sees the opportunity with her new powers to become a superhero. But, she decides she must fire her assistant in order to keep her identity a secret.
(The door of the Boutique bursts open. Rarity comes in, wearing winter clothes from her hike up the mountains. She takes off a saddlebag filled with gems.)
Spike: Oh, good! You brought extras for my sna-!
(Rarity pulls out a hoof to stop him from grabbing them.)
Rarity: Sorry, Spike, but…I'm going to need these gems for my next few design projects. I'll be working on these alone.
Spike: But there's no possible way you can do that! I live here as well as work here.
Rarity: Spike…I think there's something we need to talk about… You see, I think I realized why the Queen didn't let you stay long, besides your relationship with Twilight. I won't be able to handle you once you become older. I'm sorry, Spike, but…your wings have grown in, and your growing out of your old clothes…I'm sorry, Spike, but I can't handle you anymore.
(Spike, in furious silence, leaves the shop. Rarity stares at the door for a minute before she sighs.)
Rarity: I was worried about it, but I'm glad I fired him. I'm sure he'd blab my new secret identity to somepony. Now, I must get to work on an outfit for my new superhero persona.
(she narrates as she works on the dress) I shall become…Ice Crystal! Protector of Canterlot!
(She looks over the dress and admires it for a moment before laying the outfit down.)
Rarity: Too bad I can't link this outfit to the diamond so I can change into it at anytime…
(The Ice Diamond brightly glows, and absorbs the outfit.)
Rarity: Well, that was easy. I should wait until something arises before coming to trouble.
(Later in the week, Rarity goes to the Gem and Jewelry Store for something to complete the outfit. Suddenly, three Diamond Dogs come in, wearing ski masks and holding sacks.)
Small Dog: Give us all your gems, and we won't hurt the dame.
Rarity: I beg your pardon! I may be a lady…
(She suddenly transforms into Ice Crystal. Luckily, the owner of the shop doesn't see this transformation because he is hiding under the counter.)
Ice Crystal: …but I can take care of myself.
(The three dogs run, frightened, and Ice Crystal follows after them in hot pursuit. They turn a corner, only to hit a dead end, and Ice Crystal uses this to her advantage.)
Ice Crystal: Now, for lack of a better pun, I want you three to…freeze!
(She uses her horn, and with a beam of light, freezes the three foes. She takes the bags they are holding out of the ice, and brings them back to the store owner in mint condition.)
Store Owner: Thank you for saving my jewelry! After dragons raided my store last night, I was afraid that I'd run out of inventory. Thank you for saving my store. I didn't catch your name, though.
Ice Crystal: Just thank the generous, beautiful, Ice Crystal!
"Alright, who wants to go next?" I turned to look at them all again. Fire Twilight raised a hoof, but I shouted, "No! I think I'm going to save yours for last. You'll be some hero that comes in at the last minute. Does that sound good?" The yellow stallion was frustrated with me at first, but sighed and nodded. I asked the pink mare, "Pinkie, do you have an idea for your superhero persona?"
"Well, I don't know. Give me a minute to think!" She put on a thinking face, and I decided that since she wouldn't probably care, started on Fluttershy's superhero persona.
Narrator: Born and raised in the Everfree Forest, and raised by the few zebra that live there, a young yellow Pegasus fights for truth and justice for the nearby town of Ponyville. She has taken a name for herself after her love of nature. She is….Fluttershy, the Ever-tamer!
(Fluttershy is sitting with Zecora in her hut.)
Fluttershy: It's a shame many of the zebra's live far from here.
Zecora: They live far from the borders of Equestria. If there are more here, that's what I'm unsure of.
Fluttershy: I just hope that things will be better in town today.
Zecora: Remember, when in town, wear a disguise. I want your identity to be true to only the zebras and I.
(Fluttershy puts on her Ever-tamer mask and hurries out with her outfit. Soon, she arrives at the city at the height of noon. She notices the town market is empty, however.)
Ever-tamer (thinking): Why is the whole place deserted? It's usually packed around this-!
Trixie (in the distance): …The Great and Powerful Trixie!
(Fluttershy looks to the sound, and sees probably every citizen of Ponyville gathered around a stage. She politely makes her way through the crowd, right next to Snips and Snails.)
Trixie: When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!
Snails: Maybe she can do it again, Snips.
Snips: You and me at the Everfree Forest at eight-thirty.
(The two leave, making Ever-tamer suspicious. Later, at night, she follows Snips and Snails deep to the heart of the Everfree Forest.)
Ever-tamer (to herself): What are these guys up to?
(She sees them head into a cave, which she herself doesn't go into. She hears screams from inside, and then sees them running out not a moment later. The Ursa Minor follows in slow, but quick pursuit. Ever-tamer soars to the skies.)
Ever-tamer: The creature is headed for the marketplace. I need to get there before it does.
(Ever-tamer gets in front of the Ursa Minor just as it's about to come foreword.)
Ever-tamer: Hey, you!
(The Ursa turns its attention to Ever-tamer, and swipes a claw at her. She gracefully flies to avoid it and lands on its muzzle. The giant bear tries to shake her off, but she holds on tight and never lets go. She looks the Ursa straight in the eye and uses The Stare.)
Ever-tamer: You…will leave this town…and never come back….you got it?!
(The Ursa, scared by her epic Stare, nods his head and runs back into the woods. The town ponies cheer for her as she comes flying down to the crowd.)
Pony: We must thank you, Ever-tamer.
Ever-tamer: Your cheers of joy and happiness are the only thanks I need.
(The crowd dissipates and Ever-tamer goes to her home, leaving only Trixie, Snips and Snails.)
Trixie: You dolts! You were supposed to unleash the Ursa Major to not only ruin this town, but destroy Ever-tamer! She might know the identity of Blackbird…
"Alright, Pinkie Pie," I turned from the desk again to see what the pink mare had thought of for a superhero. "Have you thought of anything?"
"Well, I did think of this one superhero show that I used to watch as a teenager: Freakazoid! It was my favorite cartoon show when I was that age! It's where this teen colt gets powers from the ponynet!"
"But…" Twilight pointed out, "the ponynet doesn't work like that."
"Relax," I told her, "it's a TV show. Not everything has to be realistic." I then turned to Pinkie. "I'll get started on this character, although…I have no idea what Freakazoid is about."
"Oh! Well, I think I should tell you right off the bat that it's not a serious superhero show. It's a parody, meaning its poking fun at it!"
"Then it's perfect for you, Pinkie Pie," Rainbow Dash pointed out.
"But this isn't perfect for me," I said to all of them, turning back to my work. "I'm not very good at writing comedy." I started writing the next story in the series, considering it a parody of a parody.
(Pinkamena Diane Pie is sitting at her computer, waiting for the "ponynet" feature on her computer to load.)
Narrator: It is yet another bleak night at the Pie household. Pinkamena, or simply, "Diane," is waiting for the newest program on her computer to download.)
Diane: Come on! I've been waiting since I got home from school for this to be loaded! This thing must be broken!
(She throws a fist at the computer just as the "ponynet" feature has completed download. She breaks the screen, and a surge of energy goes out, and through her body. This causes half the city of Canterlot's power to go out, and of course, Diane's house. The scene cuts to Pinkie's parents and Blinkie downstairs.)
Clyde: (sighs) Blinkie, check up on your sister, okay?
(Blinkie nods and goes upstairs with a lantern. She goes into Diane's room, only to find a bright, blinding light illuminating it. The light dies down and she gasps at the sight. She sees Diane, her mane puffed up and her now in a Freakazoid-like costume, complete with mask.)
Blinkie: Diane! You-your mane!
Pinkazoid: Yeah! I know, right? It's like this because I just got a giant jolt of electricity that fused my DNA with….wait for it…the ponynet!
Blinkie: Shouldn't that have killed you? We need to show Mom and Dad!
Pinkazoid: No, we can't! I can fight crime in this new form, and use these newfound ponynet powers to go around at light-speed, track down criminals, and warp reality within my limits! I shall take on the new name of…Pinkazoid!
(Blinkie grabs her sister's hoof.)
Blinkie: Yeah, well, "Pinkazoid," you need to change back before somepony sees you. (thinking) I didn't think Diane had her crazy springs until-!
(Pinkazoid's tail starts twitching.)
Pinkazoid: There must be a crime happening somewhere in town.
(She looks like she's thinking really hard for a second, then gasps.)
Pinkazoid: It's at the Symphony Hall! Our sister, Octavia, is playing there tonight! We have to stop the fiend before she nabs my sister! (looks at Blinkie) Er, other sister. (grabs Blinkie's hoof) There's no time to loose!
(With a flash of white light, she speedily runs to the Symphony Hall. By the time they get there, Pinkazoid is in a dress suited for colonial times, Blinkie hiding in the train. Pinkazoid is already at a balcony seat, and is watching for any suspicious characters.)
Blinkie (from under the train of the dress): Psst! When can I come out of here? It's stifling!
Pinkazoid: I'm waiting to find out what's going to happen! Besides, something bad always happens at the opera…or, symphony hall, in this case.
(Pinkazoid watches through opera glasses, and focuses on Octavia, her sister, who is wearing a nice tux and playing her cello. She then notices her sister pulling her bow all the way back, and shoots it like an arrow at a lever. The lever is hit, and sends all her surrounding orchestra members, excluding the conductor, through the floor. The floor raises back up before anyone can do anything about it.)
Pinkazoid: Did you see that?! Octavia and the other orchestra members went through a trap door! Which my own sister pulled!
Blinkie: Oh, really? Well, I couldn't see because I'm still hiding under a ridiculously poufy party dress!
Pinkazoid: Quick! We need to find a way to that lower level, and fast!
(She runs at super-sonic speed, leaving Blinkie behind. She sighs, and proceeds to follow her scatter-brained sister. Meanwhile, the orchestra members, including Octavia, are in the basement of the symphony hall. Octavia cackles, and gets up to the front of the orchestra.)
Octavia: Now, I shall lead the orchestra! (pulls out baton.) They told me that it was not my special talent, which I was only meant to follow, not to lead. Well, who's laughing now?
(Pinkazoid's laughter fills the room. She appears next to Octavia.)
Pinkazoid: Well, I believe that would be me!
Octavia: Who, or what, the heck are you?
Pinkazoid: I'm Pinkazoid! And I'll stop you, Octavia. (beat) Why did you do this anyway?
Octavia: Look at my cutie mark!
Pinkazoid: I'd rather not.
Octavia: It's a non-descript G-note! Non-descript, as in it could be anything to do with music! Many other ponies have it, and I've decided to utilize all the musical talents a pony can possibly do!
Pinkazoid: So, you steal an orchestra just so you can prove you can learn more than the rest?
Octavia: I know! Brilliant, isn't it?
Pinkazoid: Not…really…
Octavia: You're right, you're right. You know, this is my first time being a villain, and I don't know much about it.
Pinkazoid: Actually, this is my first time being the hero, so we're basically on the same page.
Octavia: Oh, really? So, how's that working out for you?
(Blinkie suddenly comes in, with two cops.)
Blinkie: That girl standing up there pony-napped the entire orchestra! Seize her!
Cop: The pink one or the grey one?
Blinkie: The grey one. (whispers to cop) The pink one may look insane, but she stalled the villain.
(Soon, Octavia's in hoof-cuffs, and Pinkazoid leaves the scene in a flash, leaving Blinkie behind once again. Blinkie looks around and sighs, walking home. Later, she comes back into Diane's room, the power back on and her back to normal.)
Blinkie: I'm glad to see you back to normal. You scared me with how…exciting this other you was.
Diane: Well, I think it'd be best if we keep this under wraps. But I just have one question…
(Diane motions to her broken computer.)
Diane: How are we going to explain this to Mom and Dad?
"What do you think?" I asked, giving the script to Pinkie Pie. She skimmed through the pages and commented, "Well, you certainly got my characterization right!" She walked off to read the entire thing as Fire Twilight came up to me and asked, "Alright, now can we get to my story?"
"Hold it. I'm going to place you as a random hero the joins up with all my other superheroes and takes on a superhero persona. Sound good?" The yellow stallion went back to sitting next to his fillyfriend and grumbled to himself. I guess the comic can't appeal to everypony.
Narrator: Equestria has been in eternal night for a hundred years. The only way ponies survive is by eating "Moon Plants", special plants that do best in moonlight. Avengers from everywhere are rising from the nightmare that is living in these cities. Coincidentally, they all have a common enemy, but only one knows her name: Blackbird. Now, she must unite the Avengers of her world to form the…Equestria Elite Eight!
(Blackbird, Spike, The Spectrum, The Pink Lady, Ice Crystal, Ever-tamer, and Pinkazoid all sit around a table. Blackbird takes off her mask.)
Twilight: Alright, it's okay here. You can all take off your masks. We're all equals in this room: heroes fighting for a cause.
(The Spectrum, The Pink Lady, and Ever-tamer all take off their masks, while Pinkazoid and Ice Crystal power down with bright flashes.)
Twilight: The reason I've called you is because there have been common occurrences in our hometowns. All around the same time, and sometimes in the same place, (eyes Diane when she says it) they have been happening.
Fluttershy: Before we begin, I'd like you all to promise to keep my real identity a secret. I promised myself to be a secret protector to Ponyville.
(They all nod.)
Applejack: Speakin' of Ponyville, where were you when the Flim-Flam Brothers almost chopped that building in half?
Fluttershy: I usually handle animals that escape from the Everfree Forest.
Twilight: Crimes have been happening here as well. Like the dragon raid of the jewelry shop…
Rarity: The Diamond Dog's raid of the same jewelry shop…
Diane: And my own sister was stealing an orchestra for her own nefarious purposes.
RD: Not to mention I've been fighting the Griffin Mafia for months now.
Twilight: It seems no coincidence that these crimes happened around the same time. I believe somepony is out to find not only our secret identities, but also get me!
Rarity: But why would they want you?
Twilight: A few months ago, I met up with an old friend who threatened to rival my acts of heroism. The old friend knew perfectly well who I was…without the mask. I used a memory spell on her, but she still seems to want to find out my secret identity.
Diane: Well, who is it?
Twilight: Her name…is Trixie, and she is working for the queen.
(Meanwhile, Trixie is having a meeting with Nightmare Moon.)
Trixie: You wanted to see me, your Highness?
Nightmare: It is about you finding Twilight and why she has left. You seem sidetracked by being obsessed with finding out Blackbird's secret identity.
Trixie: Yes. I believe there is some intricate connection between Blackbird and Twilight, but I can't seem to find a solution.
Nightmare: FOAL! Twilight was Blackbird all along! You've never noticed?
Trixie: That…explains a lot, actually. I cannot believe I found out sooner.
Nightmare: Yes…I would kill her myself, but I have my royal duties to attend to. I will send out my best student, Fire Twilight, to take care of her.
(Fire Twilight arrives, and stands right next to Trixie.)
Trixie: What?! But I thought I was your top student!
Nightmare: Oh, you were. Until this moment. I have the power to expel you, and since you have failed me, after many months, you will be. (turns to Fire) Fire Twilight, make sure to kill Twilight Sparkle, aka Blackbird, quickly.
(He nods, and leaves the throne room. Trixie leaves a bit later, walking in both anger and sadness. Soon, Blackbird, Pinkazoid, and Ice Crystal are walking around, ponies noticing their stroll.)
Ice Crystal: So, why are we exposing ourselves like this to the citizens?
Pinkazoid: Because…
(A colt with a paper and pen in his mouth comes up to her. She puts her signature with the pen on there while she explains to the girls.)
Pinkazoid: We have so many fans, and we're an inspiration for Equestria. We keep the scum of this land off the streets, which encourages ponies to come out, even when its eternal night.
(She finishes signing the paper, re-caps the pen, and gives it all back to the colt.)
Blackbird: I'm just glad to see more ponies out like this, you know?
Fire Twilight: Sadly, it won't last for long…
(Blackbird sees Fire Twilight, and narrows her eyes at him.)
Blackbird: And just why is that?
Fire Twilight: My name is Fire Twilight, and I'm sent to get rid of you.
(He uses his magic to make a katana appear, and using his hooves, holds it to slash Blackbird. She jumps out of the way just in time, Fire only hitting a box. Ponies clear the scene in terror. Fire slashes the katana, but Ice Crystal has already put up a Crystal force-field.)
Ice Crystal: Try it! I'll protect my friend until my body is dead and limp.
Fire Twilight: What a lovely…
(With a little magic, he slashes through the Crystal force-field, giving Ice Crystal some pain near her horn.)
Fire: But absolutely ridiculous sentiment.
(Ice Crystal moves out of the way, and Pinkazoid tries to sneak up on Fire. She jumps on him and covers his eyes.)
Pinkazoid: Guess who?
(Fire, with his back hooves, bucks Pinkazoid in the stomach, throwing her off. She groans, and falls to the ground.)
Fire: I don't bucking care!
Pinkazoid (weakly): Blackbird…all on your own…
Fire: Looks like there's no one to stop you now…
(Meanwhile, somewhere across town, Trixie is sadly and slowly walking through town, depressed by what has happened.)
Trixie: Twilight, my best friend…abandoned me…for some stupid hero gig, and I didn't even realize it! And somepony has replaced me, and he's better with magic than me!
(Trixie looks in the jewelry shop window, seeing a sign for "Energy Stones.")
Trixie: Ah, energy stones. They're supposed to give unicorn's enhanced powers for a limited amount of time. I wonder…
(She activates her magic, and the stones levitate out of the glass. She makes them circle around her, and she levitates along with the stones into the sky. Beams come from the stones, and her eyes light up.)
Trixie (in echo-y legion voice): Yes…this is what true power feels like…Now I shall be able to eradicate my enemies, starting with that traitor Twilight!
(A force-field of blue energy forms around her, and starts killing the grass and plants around it. Back at the ranch, Blackbird has Fire's sword held close to her neck. She tries to force it back with magic, but the magic that's holding it is too strong.)
Fire: Not too late to just give up…
(Just as he's about to finish her off, he notices the energy field somewhere off in the distance. He drops his sword, takes a few steps back, and Blackbird just looks at him in confusion.)
Fire: What the heck is that?
(Blackbird gets back up on her hooves and sees the anomaly.)
Blackbird: I don't know. I've never seen magic of that power.
Fire: You know, there was a top student before me. Maybe she could pull off something like that.
Blackbird: What was her name?
Fire: Trixie Lulamoon.
(Blackbird's eyes widen in both realization and shock.)
Blackbird: We have to go stop her! She's as powerful as us, if not even more now!
(Blackbird lends a hoof to a still-down Ice Crystal, and all three run off. Soon, they arrive at the scene, seeing Trixie still surrounded by the stones and the ever-growing energy field. Anything in it is dead, and it's starting to touch nearby buildings.)
Blackbird: There's no possible way to defeat her now! She can't even move, so much as speak.
Trixie: You three little unicorns think you can stop me? Get ready for a taste of true power!
(Trixie throws a beam of energy at them. They move out of the way, and the energy beam leaves the spot it hit devoid of life. Blackbird and Fire poke their heads out of their hiding place.)
Fire: Well, you were wrong.
(Ice Crystal comes out as well, preparing the magic in her horn.)
Ice Crystal: I'll defeat her.
(She attempts to climb over the box, but Fire Twilight pulls out a hoof to stop her.)
Fire: She's too strong for any of us to defeat. It's no hope no—What are you doing, Blackbird?
(The two see Blackbird attempting a spell in front of Trixie. She creates a force-field around herself, and levitates up to Trixie.)
Blackbird: Trixie, listen to me.
Trixie: Tw-Twilight?
Blackbird: Yes, it's me. Please don't do this. Nopony deserves this.
(Blackbird touches her horn to Trixie's, but immediately, they repel each other, sending Blackbird flying out of the energy field.)
Trixie: T-too much power…I can't control it…I'm so sorry, Twilight…
Blackbird: There has to be another way to try to stop her.
(Fire Twilight comes out of his hiding place, and jumps in front of her. He charges up his horn.)
Fire Twilight: Perhaps I can stop her…
(He summons a great wind, which makes a tornado of wind. It collides with the energy field, and the electricity is absorbed by it. It soon grabs the stones and Trixie in it. As he stops, Trixie lands on her hooves, but soon faints. Blackbird hugs him.)
Blackbird: You saved us all! You probably saved not only us, but all of Equestria!
Fire: Th-thank you. You know, I'm not really to keen about killing you now. Maybe I could become part of your superhero team?
Blackbird: Perhaps.
Fire: Don't worry, your secret identity is safe with me.
(The three unicorns walk away, and it seems Nightmare Moon was watching from a crystal ball.)
Nightmare: I may see you as a threat to the throne, Twilight Sparkle, but I'm in no mood to kill you. It may be worth it if you keep my city crime-free. But if you ever try to overthrow me, you seem a worthy opponent.
"So, Fire Twilight, still think your story's stupid?" I asked, handing the script to him. He skimmed through it, and sighed, "Okay, maybe it's not as bad as I thought it would be."
"I really liked mine!" Pinkie Pie jumped in. I glanced at the unfinished drawing of the superheroes, and realized I would have to draw more in order for them to be Equestria's Elite Eight.