February slowly faded into March, but Harry had no memories of seeing these days pass by. The weather was becoming sunnier and warmer slowly around Hogwarts castle, and many of the students were enjoying the near springtime beauty within the grounds during the free time they had between the long hours of school. Yet this was not so for many of the fifth and seventh years at Hogwartsthe school, who now had cruel amounts of homework to keep them indoors, even with three months until the beginning of their N.E.W.T.s and O.W.L.s.
Harry struggled with the other seventh years in trying to get all of his work done, even if he didn't truly care about the marks he would receive. To him, school wasn't of any real importance, for he already knew about all the pieces of magic and knowledge that he would need for his own situation … or else he couldn't learn what he really needed to learn from school. He continued his schoolwork only to appear normal to the other Death Eaters and so on. He found no pressure in the task, and thus could almost manage it all.
But so much work meant that there was little time for him to spend each day with Tom. There were moments when Harry even worried that Tom might get sick of their situation, and call the whole thing off, though Harry knew that he was just being paranoid. He understood that Tom couldn't help but become isolated occasionally due to the pressure and annoyance of school. It concerned Harry a little, but Tom was careful to not affect him with his harsh moods. The uncaring Death Eaters were such an easy alternative target, after all.
Harry was currently sitting with Tom in a lounge upon the sixth floor. When not packed with studying students, these rooms were actually quite useful for the two Slytherins to sit and relax in together. They locked the doors, of course, and stayed clear of other windows within the castle that could look upon them sitting together, so it was a basically calm atmosphere. It was rare that they could actually find a free room, but well worth the wait.
Harry sat with his head resting upon Tom's shoulder, their hands interlinked yet again. It was a Friday, and they had had less work than usual to attend to, so after an evening of training in and teaching the Dark Arts with the Death Eaters, Harry and Tom had been able to drift away from the company of the others unnoticed. It was around eight o'clock, and the setting sun had nearly disappeared beyond the horizon, leaving the sky a slowly darkening blue.
They were talking, yet again. They ended up doing this every so often, when they knew they would only crave to get carried away with a continued series of embraces. Yet Harry enjoyed these chances to sit and talk to Tom almost as much as he enjoyed kissing him for however long he could. He liked to hear Tom's opinions on things, and he liked to share his thoughts and feelings with him, to live in the present instead of in the past. Even if the subjects they spoke about were not particularly joyful or optimistic, Harry was somehow content to share his own concern with Tom. It made it easier to endure.
"The others have noticed a change in the news, you know," Tom said quietly.
Harry guessed that Tom was referring to the Death Eaters mainly at this, but perhaps also some of the other students and teachers at Hogwarts. Harry had been watching their minds quite determinedly over the last few weeks, and he too saw their suspicion and contemplation. "I know," he replied, "but I still think it will still be a while before anyone works out what's really happening."
"It could be only a matter on months, if Grindelwald slips," Tom remarked.
"I hope he does slip," Harry replied, making his voice somewhat bitter. The subject of Grindelwald had lately begun to scare him far less, which was a relief.
"Yet it will mean a full war," Tom mused.
"Even so, it will tell the world who's behind this all."
Tom paused for a minute, subconsciously sliding his thumb along some of Harry's fingers within his hand as he thought. "You're going to refrain from hunting down Grindelwald unprepared no matter how soon he reveals himself to the world, aren't you?"
Harry created the illusion of contemplation at this question, remaining silent as he thought of what to reply. He sighed lightly, before saying; "I won't go after him until I'm sure I can defeat him … and that could take years to accomplish. If I'm going to do this, I want to be sure to have a chance of winning."
He had said this just to be safe. In reality, he was never going to go after Grindelwald before Dumbledore would, in a year's time, and he certainly wasn't going to be the one to defeat him. He wasn't foolish enough to change that part of history, no matter how much it would impress, satisfy, or settle the curiosity of Tom. Going after Dumbledore for the Elder Wand after the defeat of Grindelwald, however, was quite a different story…
"I'm glad," Tom replied.
"Why do you ask, though?" Harry questioned.
"Mere clarification," Tom replied.
Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. Harry listened to the sound of Tom breathing as he resting against him, thinking about the Deathly Hallows. Tom soon spoke again, his tone of quiet curiosity.
"Harry, what exactly did Grindelwald do in his short stay at Godric's Hallow? Did he ever meet the Dumbledores directly?"
Harry was a little surprised with this question, for he had assumed that Tom already knew everything about Grindelwald and Dumbledore … After a few moments of though, however, Harry remembered that there were very few people in the world who had the details about Grindelwald's stay in the Wizarding village. Harry guessed that Tom hadn't been able to find any information on the event because no one had ever thought twice about this collection of Wizards. Tom must have found records of the residents within Godric's Hallow, but little else.
"Yeah, Grindelwald knew the Dumbledores," Harry said, not really knowing where else to begin the explanation he surely had to give.
"Yet Albus Dumbledore's mother died before Grindelwald arrived at the village," Tom said, before Harry could carry on, "and his father was in Azkaban."
"Yes," Harry confirmed.
"Percival Dumbledore was charged for assaults against three Muggle boys, wasn't he?" Tom asked, his tone suggesting he was very interested in this information.
Harry wondered how long Tom had wanted to ask about the Dumbledores. "Yeah," he answered, "but they attacked his daughter first."
Tom appeared a little surprised with this. "They attacked Ariana Dumbledore?"
"So I heard. It was rumoured that Percival didn't want to give up his daughter to St. Mungo's after it, so he didn't mention his purpose to the Ministry. She was completely unstable, and couldn't control her magical abilities. She didn't go to Hogwarts, because of it. She was kept at home her whole life instead." Harry suddenly wondered why he was telling Tom this information before the details that really mattered to him. In his slight pause, Tom asked more questions.
"What did they do to her?"
"I'm not sure," Harry replied. "From what I know, she was just traumatized, and couldn't use magic properly. Kendra Dumbledore looked after her until her death in 1899… I think it was Ariana who accidentally killed her, even though she was only fourteen. That's why Dumbledore stayed at his home even after finishing Hogwarts, to look after her."
"And that was the year he met Grindelwald?" Tom asked.
"Yes," Harry replied. He couldn't decide what tone Tom had, and he wondered what he would be thinking about. He pushed himself up on the couch, so he could view Tom's reaction to his next words. Harry was almost glad to have this chance to repeat the story to someone, to share the information he knew. "Grindelwald was sixteen, and had just been thrown out of Durmstrang. His great aunt lived in Godric's Hallow, so he decided to visit the town. I don't know how he met Dumbledore, but what I do know is that they shared a close friendship."
"What did they do together?" Tom asked.
"They planned what would happen if Wizard were considered superior to Muggles all around the world," said Harry, his tone resentful even without planning it to be. "They began what Grindelwald still carries on doing today, doing everything in his power to keep Muggles – and even some Wizards – beaten down, 'For the Greater Good'."
Tom stared at Harry. There was a long pause after this, where Tom contemplated these words. "How do you know this?" he asked.
Harry had expected this question, for he knew that Tom never believed anything without a verbal explanation, at the very least, to show sincerity. "We managed to get hold of some of the letters that Grindelwald and Dumbledore wrote to each other. Grindelwald's aunt kept them, and one of the people in the organization I was in made it their job to steal and make duplicates of these letters, taking the originals. Their plans were all written down, even some insight to conversations and so on that they had."
Tom looked astounded at this, as he believed Harry's words. "Dumbledore helped Grindelwald? Then why isn't he still with him?"
"Grindelwald killed his sister while trying to fight his brother," Harry said. "Aberforth knew about their plans, and didn't want Albus to leave his sister in her sick condition, to travel the world with Grindelwald. It was said that there was a huge fight… some people are still debating with who definitely killed Ariana."
"I'm surprised more people don't know about this…" Tom mumbled, still thinking over the story.
"No one was exactly keen on sharing the tale," Harry said.
"There's no wonder why you hate Dumbledore so much."
"I just hate the act he's played since the event, and probably before," Harry replied. "It contradicts so much that he is known for…"
"Yet why did Grindelwald share his plans with Dumbledore at all?" Tom asked.
"He probably heard about how powerful Dumbledore was," Harry said, not really concerned with this idea.
"Yes…" Tom replied.
"What?" Harry asked, noticing that Tom's inquisitive tone.
"It merely seems odd that Grindelwald would ever share his plans with another, and odder still that Dumbledore would ignore his sick sister for this boy."
"Well, I'm not surprised Dumbledore would do something like that," Harry commented. "His own self-importance probably made him forget about everyone else."
"One could assume so, yet I am sure that his brother was more than persistent in reminding him about their dear sister. Albus would have been told constantly about what he was doing, and ambition alone couldn't possibly force him to block out every warning."
Harry wasn't at all sure where Tom was going with this, "I thought Slytherins were supposed to believe that ambition is the most important and powerful thing? What makes you think Dumbledore wouldn't act on this idea just as readily?"
"I've seen and experienced more than enough aspiration to know the exact level of it per situation," Tom replied. "At eighteen, and as a Gryffindor, Dumbledore's will to do the right thing should have taken effect far earlier than it did. He lost his mother only months previously to Grindelwald's arrival, so one would think that he would have been closer to his remaining relatives, not further away. Never should he have been careless enough to damage them more."
Tom's knowledge of the ways of people awed Harry at times, and he struggled to think where this could all be leading. He wasn't surprised that Tom was so determined to find an explanation for Dumbledore's actions, yet he was amazed that Tom could make all of these assumptions on the tale of his past alone… "But doesn't knowing about the plans he made with Grindelwald prove how immoral he was anyway? If he could look forward to so many murders, even as a Gryffindor, what does it matter how he treated his family?"
"The fact that Dumbledore was sorted into Gryffindor at age eleven suggests his bravery and tendency for the 'right' choice would be his strongest characteristic. His top marks in classes and special awards from the school also suggest he took pride in his abilities. He wouldn't have done something so immoral for no reason."
"His mother just died," Harry said, disliking the idea of not blaming Dumbledore for his evident evilness, "he could have changes paths."
"If he had changed paths, he would have left his sister in the hands of Aberforth altogether, and moved onto darker subjects without care," Tom stated.
Harry refrained from the impulse to seek another contradiction to Dumbledore's moral senses as he said, "Then why else would Dumbledore and Grindelwald work together, if Dumbledore didn't want to harm the world in revenge?"
"I think they were in love," Tom stated.
Harry stared at Tom in disbelief. There was a pause. He wondered for a minute if Tom was joking. "You think… Dumbledore was gay?"
"Yes," Tom replied. "Think about it, two lonely boys in a town vacated from almost everyone their own ages… Even if Grindelwald used Dumbledore, endearment seems the only plausible explanation for what Dumbledore did."
Harry tried to imagine this, though he had to admit it was a little bit of a struggle. From all the he could remember, now that he put his mind to it, he had never heard of Dumbledore ever having a girlfriend or wife. He would have assumed, if the thought ever crossed his mind that Dumbledore was just too busy for partnerships or something, but this made more sense. If Dumbledore had been in a relationship with Grindelwald, he could have been scarred for life when they fell apart, with the murder of his sister.
Harry also knew that it was extremely unlikely that Tom would draw this parallel between himself and the Transfiguration Professor if he weren't completely confident that it was a plausible explanation. From all that Harry had learnt about Tom before actually meeting him, he despised being similar to anyone, in any way. He couldn't even stand how the barman at the Leaky Cauldron shared his first name, when Dumbledore told him this at age eleven, at the orphanage. Harry was sure that Tom was better at hiding his dislike for connections now, yet he knew it was there, somewhere.
Harry hated to think about Dumbledore in a way that suggests he was pulled into planning with Grindelwald by a force he couldn't help, but he tried not to dwell upon that thought for too long. Dumbledore had still betrayed him personally with refraining from trusting him. He still had plenty of reason to hate the Transfiguration Professor even after this.
"It would explain a few things," Harry said slowly.
"It would make complete sense," Tom replied. "Endearment could probably make him lose consideration for his siblings. His mother dying could have made him somewhat isolated, thus the moment Grindelwald walked into his life – as a new person to whom he shared no past connection – he could have been willing to forgot completely who he was, and what his previous priorities were initially telling him to do."
"It is possible," Harry said. "Though… it seems kind of insane that Dumbledore would have had this whole secret life."
"You've declared that he is secretive before," Tom reminded him, "so this is not surprising."
"I still think he's a hypocrite," Harry added, perhaps speaking more to himself than to Tom.
"In many ways," Tom replied. After this, Harry watched as Tom's expression changed slightly. He seemed to realise another thing about Dumbledore, and his voice was quieter than before as he spoke again. "He's to blame for all of this… everything that has happened to you."
Tom could never know just how true these words were, Harry thought to himself. Harry was surprised that he could blame Dumbledore now even in his fictional past. This was proof of how chance told him about the ill decisions of the Professor. Harry didn't have to fake his expression of new hatred as he thought about the way in which Grindelwald would affect the world, killing thousands. Dumbledore was to be blamed again…
"You don't think he'll join Grindelwald again?" Tom asked.
"I hope he doesn't," Harry replied, dropping his gaze to look at his and Tom's interlinked hands again. "Dumbledore is a powerful Wizard…"
"Yes," Tom replied, saying no more after this. Perhaps he had followed Harry's gaze, for after a while of contemplation, he asked, "Why do you never use the ring?"
Harry looked up at Tom again, a little surprised with this question. He had almost forgotten about the ring… He hoped he hadn't offended Tom in never using it. "I don't know," he replied in full honesty. When Tom examined him curiously for a minute, he added, "There's never any time, I suppose."
Tom nodded slowly at this, but made no further comment.
Harry wondered what on earth Tom could be thinking about. Somehow Harry doubted that he was disappointed with the lack of use of the ring, and after a while he began worrying about the idea of Tom suspecting his lies. He couldn't think of how this would be related, but Tom's hesitancy to elaborate his curiosity scared him a little. He forced his voice into a calm tone as he said, "Why do you ask?"
Tom surveyed him for another long minute. "Harry, you aren't avoiding the people you have lost, are you?" he asked with careful curiosity.
Harry stared at Tom, wondering why he was assuming this. Then he remembered how long ago it must have been since Tom gave him the Resurrection Stone. He didn't believe he was avoiding his dead friends or family … but maybe subconsciously he had begun to forget about them. This thought tore through him with a piercing force, and it took him a minute before he could think this over properly. He couldn't possibly forget about his friends. It was impossible. He thought about them every day, he was sure … he had just been busy for the last couple of weeks, and that explained why he never used the ring. He tried to find an answer to Tom's question.
"Why would I avoid them?"
"There could be many reasons," Tom said. He did not elaborate this statement.
"You avoid your mother," Harry said, as if to remind Tom of something that he couldn't quite explain even to himself.
"So much is true," Tom replied, "yet you brought your friends and family back once already."
Harry didn't know what Tom meant by this conversation at all, and he felt faintly annoyed that he had mentioned anything at all. He gave no comment to these words as he struggled with the idea of letting go of Tom's hand.
"Was that your father, the man who I saw briefly?" Tom asked. His tone was careful, as he sensed how close Harry was to loosing his temper.
"No," Harry replied. As he thought back to where his father really was at this time, he was shocked to find his annoyance with Tom swiftly replaced with sorrow. This emotion came so quickly that Harry felt the familiar prickling sensation in his eyes before he could stop it. He dropped his gaze hastily from Tom. Maybe he was avoiding them, but for a reason…
"He didn't return?" Tom guessed.
Harry attempted a shrug in exchange for verbal confirmation, still averting his eyes from Tom. He wished he actually knew Occlumency, so he could block these thoughts from himself. He wondered if Tom had guessed the situation with his father before. He assumed that he had.
"Why?" Tom asked.
Harry sighed, forcing himself to answer. "I don't know. I'm supposing the dead can talk or communicate with each other or something, so he found out or realized that I was the only person who didn't die. Or else he cared about my mother 'too much', and hated me for putting her in danger and eventually getting her killed…" He trailed away after this, not having anything else to guess about the ways of his father. It was hard for him to believe that after all this time, and after all the events of his life, James Potter couldn't forgive him for his choices.
"That seems rather irrational," Tom commented quietly. He seemed to decide after a minute that he should draw Harry's mind away from this direct subject. "So who was the man I saw?"
"One of the best friends of my father."
"Was he the one of the people who adopted you when you were eleven?"
"Yes," Harry said. The idea of Sirius actually adopting him after all was odd to think of. He still felt bad for Sirius's death, yet thinking about him was easier than thinking about his father. They had shared good times, and Sirius didn't blame him for what happened, after all. "Though he died when I was fifteen…" Harry said. He wasn't sure why he had shared this piece of truth, yet it felt good, somehow. He felt as though it would be wrong to lie or forget about Sirius's death.
Tom squeezed his hand slightly, but made no comment. When Harry looked up again, he saw that Tom was watching him with concern.
"It's getting late," remarked Harry, hoping to start another conversation.
"I don't think we need to go back to the Common Room just yet," Tom replied, still watching Harry. "Staying away from my friends one day a week won't be too hard for them to handle."
"I wish there was somewhere we could be when not with them," Harry said. "These rooms are good, but…" Harry wasn't sure how he wanted to finish this sentence, se he drifted away.
He and Tom gazed at each other perhaps longingly at this, before Tom moved forwards to press his lips gently against Harry's. Harry wished that they were locked within the Slytherin dormitory together again at this, and he kissed Tom back with delicately passionate replies…
"A time will present itself," Tom whispered.