I apologize for my absence. My computer got malware on it and I haven't add access to another one to use for Fanfiction, as my fanfiction world is a secret…tehe. I finally am able to use someone else's computer.

Thank you darlings for your patience, here is the next installment. It is a little short and maybe even a little cheesy, but here it is! The story will be wrapping up soon. I love you guys and am grateful for yout patience!

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin

"YOU!"

Arthur grabbed his wife's arms, preventing her from attacking Merlin.

"You could have saved her!" Ellie sobbed. "You're the most powerful wizard there ever was or ever will be, and you said you could only save one! Well now they're both gone because you couldn't fix even one!"

"The balance of the universe—

"To hell with the universe!" Ellie screeched. Gwaine watched the queen, her eyes like a madwoman's. He could hardly breathe, holding his dead wife in his arms.

Dead.

Gwaine laid his head on her chest, searching for the something, anything. He thought he was imagining it, but there was a slight heartbeat. Her body was still alive, if barely. In his heart, Gwaine knew she was gone, that her soul had left. He could feel that she'd departed this world. What was important was that her body was alive, and her stomach pulsed slightly with the life of the baby.

"Help the child," Gwaine said brokenly. "It's still alive. Heal the baby, you heal Jen's body enough to get the baby out."

Silence.

"Do it now, Merlin! I've lost my wife, don't take my child as well!"

The warlock obeyed, rushing forward. Merlin's eyes flashed as he laid his hands on Jen's stomach, speaking words of the Old Religion. Power radiated from him as a light around Jen's stomach grew visible to even those without magic. The silver was strong and pulsing, giving Gwaine hope.

It was almost teasing, to be truthful. The color returned to Jen's cheeks and her heart began to beat again. It was a mockery to him, to have her body alive and her soul gone.

"The baby's magic is kicking in like a self-preservation attempt," Merlin explained in awe. "It can't save Jen, but it's healing her body so that it can be born."

"So we'll have to induce labor," Ellie sniffed. "Gaius, can you do this?"

Gwaine barely noticed what was happening around him. When had Gaius entered the room?

"Yes," he answered. "I feared we would need to, so I've brought everything already. Gwaine, I have to ask that you step back."

Grief stricken, the knight did as he was told. He wasn't sure what emotion he felt, he just knew he needed to hold his child in his arms and know that Jen's death wouldn't have been for nothing. He held fast however, standing and never taking his eyes off his wife's body. The process was painful to watch. Arthur stood by Gwaine the whole time, a hand on his shoulder in silent support. They basically cut Jen's body open, delivering the baby swiftly. The only good thing about Jen being gone: she didn't feel the pain of it.

The second a child's cries filled the room, Jen's body went limp again. Gwaine took no time in rushing forward, taking the bloody babe in his arms. A strong, healthy girl looked up at him. She had small tufts of hair, and a pair of bright blue eyes already opened wide. It was clear in that moment how much she looked like Jen.

"Elyana," he croaked out. "Elyana, for Jen's mother."

Ellie nodded in approval. Her face was tear streaked, eyes somehow flaming with anger and dull with grief at the same time. She stepped next to Gwaine, looking at the child. "She will be beautiful, Gwaine."

"Just like her mother," he answered. Gaius took the child to clean while Ellie held tightly to Gwaine, the two sharing their pain. Both hit their knees and sobbed, wondering how in all of Avalon they were supposed to go on with their lives.

)-(

Ellie sat in the nursery, nursing Ana, as Gwaine had decided to call her. Even though her child was yet to be born, her body was right to feed the little girl.

In the adjoining room to her left, the bed Gwaine and Jen shared was taken apart and burned. The bed from Gwaine's old room would be moved in so he could sleep on that, but he refused the sadness his wedding bed gave him. Currently, the room Ellie was in would serve as a nursery until Ana was older and could be moved into the adjoining room on her right. Once Ana moved, the small room would become a sort of sitting room for Gwaine and Ana to share.

Ellie sang to the babe, hoping to sing her into her next nap. Ellie could carry Ana as she walked with Gwen through the gardens. When the baby woke up, Gwaine would be there to hold and rock her to sleep. It wasn't too much of a surprise how Ana was never alone, as the inner circle of the king and queen was so adoring to her.

"How are you today?" Arthur appeared in the doorway as her song came to an end.

"Sad," Ellie answered honestly. "I don't believe I have any more tears in my eyes to weep."

Arthur didn't say anything.

"I sometimes forget she's gone," Ellie sniffed. "It's only been two days, so I suppose it's normal, but I catch myself wanting to speak with her or thinking I have to go on a walk with her. I don't know what to do about it, because it's like she dies every time I remember. I keep reliving her death."

The child against her breast cried out, distracting Ellie. Ana was clearly done, so Ellie slid her sleeve back on and adjusted her dress. She stood and went to a platform where she could lay Ana and put a soft pink dress on her body.

"How is Gwaine?" Ellie asked. "I know I'll see him soon, but I'm worried."

"He's on the roof, thinking," Arthur answered. "Anything to avoid the tavern, where he really wants to go."

"Good," Ellie said. "I'll make sure he eats something before the ceremony."

The afternoon drug on. Gwen and Ellie walked through the garden, breathing in the fresh air and making small chatter. After that, they played with Gwen's son Theo, who asked repeatedly where "Aunt Den" was. The year and a half old boy enjoyed holding Ana (really, he had his arms around her while Gwen actually held Ana) and promised to look after her.

Ellie then met Gwaine for dinner. The knight looked tired, but his eyes were always alight when he held his daughter.

"Do you have the boat ready?" Gwaine asked as he rocked his daughter and munched on some bread. "Jen always wanted to be sent off in the lake of Avalon."

"Merlin said that Freya told him they'll welcome her body to reunite with her soul in her afterlife," Ellie replied. "And yes, I have the boat ready. It's got the flowers in it."

"Will she wait for me?" he wondered. "Wait for all of us? Before she moves on, I mean."

"Oh yes," Ellie spoke confidently. "Merlin thinks she'll be waiting for us in Avalon, waiting to move on until she can reconnect with us all." she fidgeted in her seat. "I believe she'll watch over us. All of us."

"I do too," Gwaine agreed. He took a bite of meat, chewing slowly. "I don't want to leave Ana behind."

"She's too small to travel," Ellie said. "Marianna adores her, she will look after her."

Marianna had been assigned to look after Ana as a nursemaid when Jen passed. Having loved Jen as an older sister of sorts, Marianna took the job seriously.

"I'll take her there some day then," Gwaine answered. "She'll know everything about her mother."

"We won't let her memory die," Ellie assured him. "Jen will live in all of us, and we will raise her the way Jen would've."

"Can I do this alone?" Gwaine asked. Ana had fallen asleep, but he shifted her so she laid on his shoulder as he leaned back into his chair. Tears leaked from his eyes. "Raise a child?"

"You won't be alone," Ellie told him. "Your sister is coming to court, and you'll have all of us. We will do this as a family, Gwaine. Ana will have many mother figures, and you will have support."

"Maybe so," Gwaine croaked. "But this was Jen's place as well. I still can't comprehend...she should be here. Right now, she should be holding our daughter and planning her future. Not us. Jen."

Ellie bit back more tears. She covered her mouth to hold it in as her hands shook. Gwaine was right. Jen should've been there, and it wasn't right. "I don't know how to go on with life, honestly. I spent most of my time with Jen, and now I'm not sure what to do without her jovial attitude always around."

"I can't go on without her," Gwaine whispered. "I don't know how."

There was a pregnant silence stretching between the two. They silently cried and continued eating, even while tears streamed down their cheeks. When they finished, Ellie stood slowly. "Ana needs us, Gwaine. We have to find a way to move on, for her."

"She's the only thing that matters to me anymore," Gwaine murmured, looking distant.

"That's what you must live for," Ellie nodded in understanding. "Now come, she needs to go to bed before we leave."

They put the baby to bed, before heading out to the courtyard. Due to her status as queen and the fact she carried the heir of Albion in her womb, Ellie had to ride in the cart instead of on a horse. She tried not to think about how Jen's body, preserved by Merlin's magic, was behind her. Instead, she held Gwen's hand, who rode in the seat next to her, and pretended she was anywhere else.

At the lake, it was dark. Merlin produced floating balls of yellow light to provide a warm glow to the atmosphere. Jen's body was placed in a small boat. Ellie's throat constricted at the sight of her cousin's blonde hair laying in gentle curls around her. The blue dress she wore matched the color of her eyes; if they'd been open. Pink flowers surrounded her, and a small book of poems rested in her hands. Each member of the small group sprinkled dirt around her body, Ellie barely able to let the dirt leave her hands.

Gwaine kissed his wife's lips one final time, before stepping back. Merlin used a spell to push the boat onto the water, flames lighting around the canoe's edges. Ellie watched Gwaine step to the water's edge, before he hit his knees. The queen slowly stepped forward and rested a hand on his shoulder. She was just in time to hear him murmur lightly,

"My darling Jensen...I will never love another."