A/N: Question for you serious HP Fanfiction readers—mostly slash, I think: Is the talking mirror in Harrys dorm bathroom ever mentioned in the books? Or is it solely a Fanfiction phenomenon? I see it A LOT in Fanfiction, but I don't remember it in the books. I think the first time I saw it was with an author, Triola (don't quote me on it), and I've seen it around—on different websites too!—a lot. It's kinda rare for a common added-in character/artifact to pop up in tons of unrelated Fanfiction, right? Did we create some magic of our own?
PS: Chapter 18 will not be revamped; I did some research and found that jk messed up her timeline with Lucius/voldemorts school years. That means I'm keeping it *my* way lol.
Chapter 20: Sex, Love, and Lucius
After such success with the elder Malfoy, Harry was flying high on a rush of confidence. The almost political back-and-forth between himself and Lucius had given him such a feeling of competent satisfaction that he decided to make his way to Severus' quarters while he was still feeling the glow of confidence.
When he entered the familiar living room, he saw that the lights had been dimmed, and realized that the other man must have gone to bed. He shut and re-warded the door before creeping across to the bedroom. Finding his professor asleep, he took off his own shirt, transfigured his new, form-fitting jeans into flannel pajamas pants, and slipped into bed. When he was certain the other man had not woken, he slowly pressed himself into the circle of Severus' arms, and sighed with contentment.
Though he had been looking forward to talking to Severus, maybe even messing around a bit, actually sleeping with him suddenly seemed far preferable; it was something they had not yet done. Soon after he lay down, he was asleep, and he did not dream.
Snape felt a warm body in his arms, and he instinctively hugged it closer, burying his nose in the others' neck, inhaling deeply. The smell was strangely familiar, but he paid it no mind. He was sleeping, after all…
Sleeping. His body stiffened. Sleeping meant his chambers, which meant that this body could only belong to Harry Potter. He sat bolt right up, dislodging the sleeping boy, who simply grumbled and snuggled deeper into the covers.
"Potter!" He barked, causing the boy to start awake.
"Wha?" was the less-than coherent response. Harry cleared his throat and rubbed one eye with the back of his hand, turning to face Severus. "What?" he asked again, this time with more success, rather dreading the answer.
"What the hell are you doing in my bed? Leave immediately." the man snapped.
"Well, I came by to tell you about something and to ask you for a favor, kinda, but you were asleep already, and looked…rather inviting, honestly." Snape glared but Harry smiled and pulled his professor back down to bed, effectively keeping him down by laying half on top of him.
"What did you come here to tell me?" Snape asked, absolutely refusing to admit that Harrys warm body, splayed across his own, was not at all unappealing.
"I went to go talk to Lucius—" Harry was cut off as Severus snapped back up from the bed, tossing Harry across his legs.
"You did what?" he growled, and Harry gulped.
"I went to Malfoy Manor to speak with Lucius Malfoy in private, and to offer him a deal that he come over to our side." Harry said quickly.
"He would never—"
"But he's considering it." Snapes eyes narrowed.
"And how did you convince him to do that? Never mind convince him not to capture you." Harry bit his lip.
"Hear me out, okay?" Snape gave a short nod of agreement. "I kinda told him he wouldn't have to work for Dumbledore, or myself, and that we needed him to be our general and gather his own kind of resistance; he would work in tandem with us, and we'd each help the other with what was needed, but no one would be working for anyone else. I told him I required only an Unbreakable Vow to use all of his recourses towards the end of vanquishing the Dark Lord, without creating a bigger or darker problem. I told him that Draco missed him, but had made his own choice….I basically just flattered his ego, appealed to his fathering instincts, and made sure he was aware that he'd have a higher standing with us—more power and all. He said that if he accepted my offer he would want you to help him with his wards, and Draco and his mum would go back to living with him." Snape fell back into his bed, overwhelmed with what Harry had done.
"Well, Lucius, at least, must know I work for Dumbledore…or at least, with you." Harry blinked.
"What?"
"He said he'd want my help with the wards. I'm sure you agreed to that without thinking that he was testing—he wanted to know the truth about my loyalties. You probably assured him my cooperation, showing him that we were, at the very least, on friendly or familiar terms." Severus didn't have it in him to be cruel at the moment for the boys' stupidity. In all other areas, he had done supremely well with his talk with Lucius, and Snape was currently too overwhelmed with the situation to be nasty.
"Oh." Harry's eyes were wide. "I didn't think of that." Before Snape could snap that of course he hadn't thought of it, and this was why Harry wasn't fit to make his own decisions, the cursed boy looked down and whispered a very heartfelt apology. Now he couldn't even be angry with the twit, damnit.
"If he decides to come over to our side, we won't have to worry. If not, we'll worry about it then. It's highly unlikely that Lucius would say anything to the Dark Lord until he makes his decision; he always enjoys having a bit of leverage." Harry sighed and moved to once again rest his head on the other mans torso.
"Next time I'll talk it over with you."
"You had better." Snape growled, and Harry shivered against him.
"Still," Harry looked up with a satisfied smirk. "If Malfoy decides to stay with the Dark Lord, that'll make your decision all the easier." He realized at once that it had been the wrong thing to say, as Snapes face clouded over murderously.
"Get out."
"But—" Harry tried desperately to think of a way to fix what he had said.
"OUT!" Harry scrambled from the bed, grabbing his shirt and apologizing as he stumbled from the room.
Snape brooded in silence, unable to fall back asleep, and Harry tossed restlessly in his room, mind re-working the conversation to figure out what had happened.
A week had not yet passed, and Harry was getting desperate to fix the rift that had sprung up from his careless words. One day, near the end of the week, Harry cornered Snape after class, locking and silencing the room as he waited patiently for the man to look up from grading.
"This will get you nowhere, Potter." Snape said without looking up.
"I wanted to apologize." Harry said steadily, undeterred.
"No need, Potter." Harry ground his teeth.
"No need, when you throw me out after I had just convinced you to let me stay? I don't think so. I'm sorry I said what I did; I hadn't planned for my talk with Lucius to have any bearing on your own decision. I only said that after you had made me realize all the other implications of my talk with Malfoy, and it was joking, I didn't mean it, and I didn't intend for you to get caught in such a trap because of my stupidity. I know you probably hate not having a choice, and I'm really sorry that I accidentally forced you into that position." Snape still didn't look up.
"Duly noted." Harry growled and put his hands down on the desk on top of the papers, leaning over till he was inches from the mans downturned head.
"Would you look at me?" Snape finally looked up, face carefully masked.
"I don't understand why you're getting so emotional, Potter, but I can assure you I am fine. I do not require an apology, but thank you anyway for the one you've given. If you would now leave…?" Harry growled and came around the desk.
"Emotional?" He shouted. Snape didn't flinch. "I—you—dear god man, think about it! I've asked you to quit spying and fight at my side, instead. I've pushed you, and spent a hell of a time trying to smash through your indomitable walls. I haven't been able to concentrate in potions, or any other class, since you threw me out!" Snape blinked.
"Your hormones are certainly none of my concern, Potter."
"Fucking—god—christ—" Harry spluttered angrily. He took a few calming breaths before continuing on in a lowered tone, straining for a calm demeanor.
"If you think my hormones cause my erratic and rather strong emotional reaction to you, you are even more dense than I ever could believe." With that he turned on his heel and left the room, slamming the door behind him.
When he was halfway down the hall, he sagged against a wall and sighed. What had possessed him? The stress of the past few days; waiting for a response from Lucius, more deaths, more—smaller—battles, more headaches and worst of all, no Severus, had forced him into something that was practically a confession of love.
He wasn't even sure it was an accurate confession. He had never been in love, and thus had nothing to compare it with. Hell, he hadn't even had real familial love. How the fuck was he supposed to know?
But it made a certain kind of sense, and all he had said back there was true. When he was being honest with himself, he knew that he wanted Snape to quit being a spy for Snapes sake, not because Harry wanted extra protection on the battle field. He really hadn't realized that Lucius had been testing him, but once Severus had pointed it out, he had been relieved that the man might be forced to quit. And after their fight, Harry hadn't slept well and his performance in all his classes had been dismal. But did that mean he was in love?
He didn't know.
"Hey Hermione," he said wearily as she entered his room. She sat down on the bed, took his hand in hers.
"What's wrong babe?" Harry was struck by an idea that made him look up at her with a look of sheer desperation.
"How do you know if you're in love?" She sighed.
"Uh-oh…" She muttered.
"What?"
"I knew this would happen."
"What? " Harry was getting defensive. She smiled reassuringly and squeezed his hand.
"It's okay, love is a good thing Harry. I just worry about you." Harry looked confused.
"So…I am in love with him, then?" she laughed and shook her head.
"Only you can answer that, dear. General consensus defines love as; never being able to not think of them, wanting to spend every minute with them, never wanting to be without them, and strong emotional pain when any of those things occur. You can measure love through pain." Harry look startled.
"I never thought of it like that. Considering the amount of pain I'm in…" he bit his lip, and she nodded wisely.
"Have you told him?" He shrugged.
"Kinda." And as he explained to her what had happened, she started giggling.
"Oh Harry you are such a boy sometimes!" she gasped. He looked affronted.
"I am not!" he proclaimed, which put her into another fit of giggles. When they had passed, she sobered up some and responded.
"Oh, you are. Now get your ass down to the dungeons, and be sure to convince Snape that it would be a very bad idea if he ever let you leave." Harry blushed and nodded, and Hermione left with a wink.
Harry entered Severus' quarters without knocking. The other man was sitting on his couch, and before he could stand to demand that Harry leave, Harry had rushed to the couch and jumped on him, straddling him.
"I'm not leaving tonight." He stated, lips set in a mulish line.
"You most certainly are," Snape growled, attempting to dislodge the boy. Harry pressed down harder and set himself in a firm manner, allowing his center of gravity to be his strongest leverage.
"No, I'm not. As for what I said today…" Snapes face turned almost instantly from an angry snarl to a featureless mask, and Harry felt satisfaction at the thought that his words had indeed had some impact. "I've never been in love before, and neither do I know much about love, in general. But it hurts when you're gone, or angered with me, and that's enough, right now, for me to stay. For me to need to stay. Okay?" Harry's voice got quieter near the end, and once again he loathed his own vulnerability. Snapes low tone felt like a stab, when he spoke.
"Is this all about you then, Potter? Barging in here without any consideration of how I might feel, making plans without me, even if they include me, forcing me to decisions that were never yours to make?" Harry groaned and rested his forehead on Severus' shoulder.
"No, it's not, and you know it. But I know you…you enjoy…spending time with me, at least some of the time. And I would never knowingly make decisions for you that are yours alone. I don't want to own your soul, Severus, not even your heart. I just want to be with you." Snape grunted, again trying to dislodge the boy. This time the older man used his own tricks, and Harry went sprawling across the length of the couch. Snape bent over him, snarling.
"I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation, Potter. How could you? You're only what, sixteen?" At those words he abruptly stood and went to his bar. He didn't get himself a drink but he stood with his back turned to Harry, controlling his own roil of emotions. Harry stood up hesitantly and went to stand at the bar as well, settling his elbows on the countertop and facing forward, not looking at Severus.
"Look…this is…this is terrifying to me. But I care enough to deal with that. If there's some part of this situation that I've overlooked, that I've misunderstood, please tell me what it is. I can't understand the gravity of the situation without all the facts, and honestly I'm not quite sure what you're talking about. The truth is though, if I'm not missing anything, I do understand." Snape shook his head, and Harry could see the movement from the corner of his eye. The other man growled and returned to sitting on the couch, and Harry followed stubbornly, though this time he gave Severus some space.
Snape had been thinking over the best way to say what he needed to, since he realized that Harry wasn't about to let this go. When the boy had nearly said, earlier, that he was in love, Severus had been dumbfounded. Never before and never again did he expect to hear that declaration, even if it had been rather backwards, and he had cherished the moment—he probably always would. But as the day progressed, Snape had begun to rethink the entire thing. What he had realized was bitter, but he knew that Harry wasn't—couldn't—be in love with him. He turned towards Harry and decided to take the calm approach, looking the boy directly in the eyes.
"You can't be in love with me, Harry." Harry looked stunned.
"Are you going to tell me how I feel now—?" He snapped before Snape cut him off.
"It's completely natural for you to have formed feelings for me, with the burdens and lessons we have both shared, not to mention the physical contact. However you have to admit; you're sixteen, you've barely dated—several students don't count—and you have decades of years ahead of you. One day you will wake up and realize you're not in love with me, realize you want someone else." Harry gaped at him for a moment, then took a deep breath to calm his riled emotions. Snape look satisfied that he gotten through at last, and sat back to wait for Harrys rampage.
"You think so, do you? Look here, Severus…One, I'm rather cautious about declarations of love. I've told you already that I don't know what love feels like, so I can't be sure. I know I can't be sure of how I feel. I know how old I am, and what could happen. But right now, I feel damned positive. The only way to be certain about how I feel is time—time I'd like to spend with you. If you want to be quit of me after the war—assuming we both live—then I'll do my best to see if I can feel this way with anyone else. If I can't, I'll break down your door, wherever you're hiding. But for right now, with things so uncertain, death probably imminent…what does it matter, how I feel? Can't we talk about love—the kind of love that whispers forever—after forever is an actual possibility?" Snape was, again, rather lost of words. When did Potter ever become romantic? Right, he was a Gryffindor. Silly question.
"I don't want to talk about feelings right now, not until I'm in a better position to understand my own. Why do we need to complicate things right now?" Snape was still quiet, and Harry started wondering if he should have handled it differently. Perhaps his denial that there was 'anything to worry about' had produced an effect that was unintended. As the silence stretched, Harry decided to take action, and once again straddled his professor, who did not move. He grabbed the other man by his shirtfront and brought their faces incredibly close together, but not touching.
"I don't want to talk about this now because only time can fix your protests. But I know how I feel Severus, and I'm willing to wait it out until you believe me." He realized he was growling, and decided that it was time for the conversation to be diverted. He brought his lips down and kissed the older man, not deterred when he wasn't kissed back. His hands roamed and as he felt Severus grow hard beneath him, he groaned and rutted his hips forward.
"Please…" Harry managed to gasp.
"Please what?" The voice of his professor was only slightly breathless, but Harry still felt a shiver of pleasure at the dark tone.
"Touch me—please—I want—" Harry didn't need to finish. Snape pushed him over onto the couch, falling upon him with deft hands that made Harry buck up against the mans thigh.
"You, just like this, Potter. Only for me." Snape growled as his mouth found the soft flesh at the base of Harrys throat, his hands already making quick work of the boys shirt. The sight of the boy, nearly delirious from his touch, was something he wanted to savor.
"Yes! You." Harry moaned as the hands slipped his trousers down and began to touch him. Snape moved his head down to lick Harrys ear.
"Only me." He growled, unable to restrain his possessiveness, unable to imagine anyone but himself touching Harry this way. Harry grabbed him by the shoulders and took a quick intake of breath as he felt one of his professors long fingers enter his hole, the other hand still delicately stroking his erection.
"Only ever you," he managed to pant as he began to rock his hips backwards onto the probing finger. Determined to see more of Severus, he quickly disrobed him once again with wandless magic, this time leaving the other man completely naked. Snape growled and pressed their bodies harshly together, biting Harry harder on his neck than he normally would have. However Harrys responding body and subsequent hiss were enough to tell him that Harry enjoyed it.
Harry squirmed and groaned as the finger was pulled out, only to be replaced by two more. Harry knew that if he was going to get what he wanted, he'd have to ask before Severus kept on with what he was doing.
"Let me—I want to—" His words were lost as those fingers brushed a bundle of nerves deep inside of him, and it took all his willpower not to come at that touch.
"What do you want, Harry?" Snapes voice was low and silky, and Harry found it even harder to breath, though those fingers had pulled out of him, giving him the ability for more coherency.
"Want to—to taste you," Harry gasped. The hand on his erection made it difficult to voice those words, but it was what Harry wanted more than anything else, what he had dreamed about.
The sight of the boy—and the words on his lips—were enough to make the older man lose what little control he had clung to. He stood and Harry followed him eagerly, slipping to the floor on his knees. Twining his hands through Harrys soft hair, he groaned and leaned his head back as the boys tongue darted out to taste his leaking member.
This was nothing at all like the first time, when Harry had taken to him under the influence of the Imperius and his own depraved need. Nor was it like the second, where Harry had been unsure and cautious. Harry seemed to know what he was doing, now, and the effects were the height of pleasure.
Harry seemed to be hissing—in parsletongue again, and it made his hands tighten in the boys hair, drawing him closer with a restrained amount of forcefulness.
When Harry had finished, he sat back on his heels with his eyes closed, making a deep sound of pleasure in his throat.
Snape watched as the boy unconsciously licked his lips, and incredibly felt a second stir of arousal. What was Potter doing to him?
The thought was lost momentarily as he looked down at Potter and saw that the boy had stroked himself to orgasm while his mouth had been stretched around Snapes own erection. The sight was certainly enough to make Severus' cock twitch.
Harry muttered a wandless cleaning spell and stood, smiling cheekily up at his professor.
"I'm staying the night," He stated, and Snape glared.
"It's a school night."
"No one will miss me; I have my own room, remember?" Snape muttered something about the headmaster and his meddling while he wandlessly returned their clothing to their bodies. He realized as he did so that Potters pants actually fit him; in fact, they looked quite snug, and new. The tee shirt he was wearing was also rather form-fitting and most certainly not used.
"You got yourself some new clothes, I see." Snape drawled, and Harry, for some reason, blushed.
"I thought about what you said, and you were right. Actually, I don't want to wear this anymore…" And he rummaged in his bag before pulling out a pair of soft pajama pants, died a solid maroon. He took off his jeans and shirt and slipped the pats on, stuffing the discarded clothes into his bag. Snape wanted to protest against the boy staying the night, but the look of him in those pajama pants, completely shirtless with the pants riding a bit too low on his hips, stopped all protests.
"Have you finished your homework?" He asked instead, moving into his own room to change into something more comfortable.
"No, I figured I'd finish it up while I'm here. I'm sure you have papers to grade or a book to read or something, I'll just set up on the couch with my work." Harry called, and Snape didn't deem to respond. Harry had set up his homework and began working when Severus returned, wearing black pajama pants and no shirt. Harry looked up as the man walked into the room and across to his desk, standing behind it and shuffling papers around. It was the first time that Harry could look leisurely upon his professors naked skin; unrushed by desire or need, and he found he quite enjoyed simply staring at the man. When Snape looked up and caught him looking, he immediately blushed and looked back down, feeling embarrassed.
He continued his work in silence as Snape found and book and arranged himself in the armchair, wondering why Harry had been staring at him so intently. Certainly, he had never shown his naked torso to any of his students, but Harry had seen him fully undressed several times; why was this different? When the question prevented him from truly getting into his book, he decided to ask.
"Why did you feel the need to stare so intently at me, Potter?" Harry looked up from his work, eyes rather wider than normal.
"I—I've always been, you know, a bit distracted around you when you're wearing less than your full robes. I was just…" He shrugged one shoulder and grinned. "Enjoying the view." Snape didn't respond and went back to his book, firmly deciding that asking a Gryffindor a question was not advisable in the least.
The two spent the rest of the night talking, something they had rarely done previously. Their talk didn't involve the war, or their odd and entangled relationship. They merely spoke, sometimes of Harry's dreams, sometimes—tentatively—of the rare, good memories of the past. The night passed in one another's arms, and soon dawn beckoned them to another day.
The very next day held an unexpected visitor. Harry had called Dobby to bring him breakfast, realizing that he would prefer to eat in the dungeons than the great hall. Snape joined him and their meal was quiet, both men preparing themselves mentally for the new day. When Harry had finished, he began to change into a spare pair of clothes he had brought with him. Before he had managed to get the tee shirt over his head, there was a knock on the door. Thinking it could only be the headmaster, Harry strode to the door and had it open before Snape could get to it.
Seeing a smirking Lucius on the other side, Harrys insides turned into a knot. He wanted to crumble, turn around and apologize to Severus for being such an idiot, but he knew that when it concerned Lucius Malfoy, a strong front was necessary.
"Hello, Lucius. Have you come to relay your decision on my proposal?" He asked, blithely glossing over the fact that, had that been the case, Lucius would have sought him elsewhere, not at Severus' quarters. Lucius was still smirking, but a tinge of admiration lit his eyes.
"Actually Harry, that is one of my many errands today. However just now I was inclined to call upon Severus." Harry stepped aside and opened the door wider.
"Then by all means, please come in." During this exchange, Snape had summoned his usual robes and clothed himself, masked his emotions, and sat at his desk looking busy. When Lucius entered, the vestiges of their morning breakfast had been cleared from the table, Harry's bag was neatly packed, and Snape looked rather natural behind his desk. Harry, with his shirt half-on, was the only thing out of place. Snape stood from behind his desk as Lucius entered, inclining his head in greeting and offering a seat on the couch to the man.
"Can I get you anything to drink or eat? Have you broken fast?" Harry asked politely, rather confused when the words 'have you eaten breakfast' turned into 'have you broken fast?' Lucius did not seem at all phased by such off phrasing, and declined the offer gracefully as Harry shrugged and took a seat. Snape sat in the armchair, more on-guard than he had been in a long while.
"I am glad I found both of you together," Lucius began, pausing to allow the innuendo to sink in. "For what I have to say concerns you both." Harry ignored the implication in the first bit, and encouraged the other man to continue.
"The first and foremost thing is that I have decided to accept your offer, Potter." Harry maintained his self-control, even though he wanted to grin broadly and shake Malfoys hand rather enthusiastically.
"That news is music to my ears, Lucius. We are very happy to have you." He said with restrained excitement. Lucius smirked.
"Well, some of you are, at least. My second reason for coming is to offer you, Severus, a place in the army I plan to mass." Harry didn't seem the least bit startled, but it took Snape a few seconds to gather his bearings.
"I will give the offer consideration, Lucius. It is most generous." Lucius waved his hand dismissively.
"Of course, Severus. The crux of the matter is, I will not do this if I cannot have you in my army. Otherwise, I go straight to the Dark Lord and inform him of your…obvious…loyalties." Snape nearly cursed, but held his composure as Harry spoke up.
"If you get him with you, then you get me." Harry said firmly, and Lucius raised an eyebrow.
"I wasn't aware you were so…attached, Potter. But having you will be all for the good, I gather." Harry didn't blush, and nor did he look down he stared Lucius in the eyes and smirked.
"You can assume what you like, Lucius; I have my own reasons. If Snape agrees to this, then I go too." Lucius' second brow rose.
"Very well. What say you, Severus?" Snape glared.
"It looks as though I have little choice." He said, obviously the only form of agreement the other man would get. Lucius inclined his head.
"Excellent. You will of course be my right hand. I have other business to attend to, but be sure I will stop by to enlist your help with my wards," With that he stood, the others standing with him, and left with Harry very cordial goodbyes. Snape threw a bottle of scotch into the fire when he had gone, and Harry stepped over to him and wrapped his arms around the mans middle.
"You don't have to. You could stay with the Order and let Lucius do whatever," he said, a worried frown marring his face. Snape sighed.
"As much as I hate to admit it, we'll need that man." He said. Harry squeezed him tighter.
"Well, I'll be there." He muttered into Severus' shirtfront. Snape snorted.
"That's a comfort," he said with scathing sarcasm, but as his own arms wrapped around Harry tightly and pulled him closer, his words were belied.
A/N: Please review!