Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
A/N: Hello There! I bring a new chapter and something to tell y'all. I will be completely honest - I am not currently enjoying the works of this story. Do not get me wrong! I LOVE Rough Around The Edges, it is my absolute favorite story that I've ever written. I just hit a writer's block and it isn't making me feel too good about the quality of it. Don't know. Let me know how you like this chapter in a review okay? It might be just me overthinking this whole thing. I already have a lot of it planned, so hopefully I can move forward from where I am stuck at. Also! RATE is turning 1 year old in a couple of months and I wanted to do something special for the story, like a raffle of a one-shot for the reviewers and the followers. Let me know what you would like! Anyway, as always, thanks for reading me!
- xxx, Xavier.
Chapter 20.- Under your skin.
Paul looked at Bella in his arms, immobile and distressed. She hadn't noticed, but the tears had started falling down her face and a frown had become visible. He couldn't start to imagine how she felt – the anxiety, the desperation, the fear, and all the icky that came with seeing the Cullens once more. It was eating him inside as much it was eating her. How could he let them hurt her like that, and how could he be so unhelpful to her? He wanted to bring her close and assure her that everything was going to be alright, but he wasn't sure of it himself, and he had already promised the brunette he wouldn't just coddle her. They needed to face this together. He just didn't know where to start.
"Bella." He caringly whispered to her before letting her down gently. The brunette raised her sight and Paul saw through the pain. She was regressing – she went to the dark place that she had visited over the past months, in nightmares or awake. "Don't do this to yourself."
"They turned because of me." She whispered. "Because I brought back the Cullens."
"Bella, Seth had been showing the signs for weeks. It was only a matter of time." Paul assured her, although he wasn't sure how that was assuring in the slightest. At least it was enough to turn his stomach around. "He was going to turn regardless of the Cullens."
"Then because of Victoria." She argued. At times, Paul did not like how stubborn she could be. "Which still makes it my fault."
"Was it your fault that the Cullens left behind a trail straight to you? Last time I checked, she was after Edward, and not you directly. Or are you an extension of the guy? Let me remind you that he left and didn't care for anything else. You're not his girlfriend anymore, Bella, and you don't owe him the self-deprecation… not when you're also a victim." Paul started to grow irritated, but he still tried to be as gentle as possible. He approached the girl, but didn't touch her, nor raised his voice.
"What about Leah, then? She's a woman, she wasn't supposed to phase." Bella's chocolate eyes were fired up. It was the need to challenge him, the need to prove herself right that shone through the dark of her eyes that made Paul realize something: he would never say the right thing. "Jake also wasn't supposed to phase, or Quil, or Embry, or Jared, or Sam… or you."
Paul stepped back and pinched the bridge of his nose between his index and thumb, annoyed. It wasn't explosive, and it wasn't anger. It was hurt and disappointment what crawled up his spine, to his head, and into his mouth. He held Bella's gaze, which made the brunette step back slightly.
"No, Bella, you're wrong. We were. We were supposed to do all that, because it has already happened and there's nothing you can do to reverse that. There's not 'what ifs' here. It is what it is." He had snapped. He didn't raise his voice, but the tone felt bitter and coarse. "I don't know how to make you understand that... Ugh. Every. Single. Time. Every fucking time that you go on in that head of yours is like you're slipping away from me, like you don't even mind that you're drifting away from what matters. You just want to hurt yourself, to make this about the bad and the awful, but please understand… you're hurting me too. It is fucking hurts when you want to take in everyone's pain and make it your own. Mine included."
Bella was left speechless. A few more runaway tears slipped down her face and the tips of her ears had become red; Paul didn't know if it was embarrassment or anger. The brunette stepped back and crossed her arms, and the Quileute knew their conversation wasn't going on the nice and civil path. He almost pleaded to be back at the river bank, to the lighter conversation.
"Bella…" he whispered, and tried to reach for the girl, but she stepped back. "C'mon."
Paul sighed, but didn't try to further approach the girl. Bella was lost in her own thoughts, and it was almost impossible to determine what was running through her mind anymore. Paul was ready for another round of self-deprecation, and although anxious about Seth and Leah, he was determined to not leave until Bella understood him, at least. Bella cried in silence for a few more moments, her gaze still lost in the air. Paul wasn't sure of what to do.
"Bella… at least let's get you to the truck. You're going to get cold." Paul said, extending his arm to hold onto her and continue their journey to the truck.
What came next almost paralyzed him: The girl's cold arms wrapped around his warm core and her face met his bare chest. Her face was cold, but the tears running down her face burned even on his skin. She started sobbing audibly and holding stronger onto Paul, which surprised the teen. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his face on the top of her head. She smelled of strawberry shampoo, grass, moss, and rain all together. Her nails dug onto his back and the crying continued for a few more minutes, but it seemed like both the longest and the shortest time they had been together.
Her, hugging him, was so intimate. Yes, they had shared a bed and slept next to the other, but this felt in a completely different plane. This time it wasn't a whim of his, or a casual accident. This time she needed him; she craved this contact. It was platonic, healing, and yet so personal that it couldn't be compared to any other hug they could've shared.
Her cries eventually stopped, and Paul and Bella's eyes slowly met.
"I don't want to hurt you." She whispered. "I don't want to hurt anyone else from the pack."
"Sometimes… it's just better if you're there for us. We are not pointing fingers – nobody is." Paul replied. "It's better to work with what we have than to dwell into what was and won't be anymore. Seth and Leah won't feel better if you pity them."
"That's not my intention." Bella argued.
"And I know that, but it's how it comes across." Paul sighed. "Swan, you're doing more good when you are joking around with Quil and Jared than when you let the Cullens get into your head."
Paul placed a chaste kiss on top of her head and pulled her towards himself. Bella felt light and with a clearer mind, wrapped around the warmth of Paul's body. The Quileute reached for her legs and lifted her up into the air.
"C'mon, we need to get to Leah and Seth." He whispered and continued their way to the truck.
Alice was pacing around the living room and it was starting to fill the air with anxiety and anger. Jasper was trying his best to put his mate's mood under control, but vampires were a little more explosive than humans. Esme, on the other hand, was as calm as ever. One could see that she was still concerned about the outcome of the meeting with the wolves, but she was better at keeping it to herself than her adoptive daughter.
"They're here." Alice suddenly gasped, which probably meant that she was finally able to see her father and siblings.
Not a second later, Emmett and Carlisle walked into the house. There was no sign of Rosalie or Edward.
"What happened?" Alice jumped to ask, before any of them could settle down. "Where are Rose and Edward?"
"I think it's better if you sit down, Alice." Carlisle said, which quickly got his daughter moving.
Alice looked expectant, and frustrated. She sat next to Jasper and Esme, while Emmett plummeted in the couch opposite to them, closest to Carlisle. Neither man let anything slip through their faces, which for moments drove the psychic crazy.
"Carlisle?" Jasper asked, tired of taking all the uneasiness of the room.
"Well, the meeting went well… as well as it could have gone, at least." The patriarch admitted. "Edward has had to… retreat. I've sent him over to Tanya's so that he can clear his head. Rosalie is taking him there right now."
"Are you serious, Carlisle? This is the moment when we need to be here! To Protect Bella!" Alice argued, but was met with Carlisle's harsh eyes.
"Alice, he almost jumped the wolves. Like you did." Carlisle exhaled. "I cannot compromise the treaty, nor I can allow for Edward to be disrespectful like that. This is their land. We are guests amongst humans."
"They're not human!" Alice complained once more.
"Alice." Carlisle warned. Jasper took Alice's hand and forced her to calm down. The pixie-like girl wasn't happy, but kept her mouth shut. Carlisle was someone that she didn't want to see angry. "We've made amends… with a few conditions, and I would like for you to upkeep those conditions."
"Conditions?" Alice asked before trying to look into the near future, which then led her to hit a wall. A dark area that could only be explained by wolves. "What have you agreed on?"
"Well, before I can move on to that... we need to talk about Bella." Carlisle said. The man looked at his adoptive children, and wife. Esme reached for his hand, and the warmth in her eyes helped him continue. "After talking to Sam, it's become apparent that Bella is not only reluctant to meet with us, but that she has chosen to cut off communication with both you and Edward. She's… she's chosen her place next to the wolves, and we can't come between that."
"By place… you mean next to that wolf. Paul. The one that attacked me." Alice said. "He acts like her mate; but we all know she is Edward's mate! There wasn't a doubt."
"Well, at this point in time, we have to proceed as if Bella's mate is Paul, like it or not. I don't know the inner workings of wolf mating, but it seems strong and permanent – and if that's Bella's decision, we have to respect that." Carlisle seemed frustrated but was trying his best to not upset anyone. "The point here is that we cannot initiate contact. Bella has to come to us. Being a vampire's mate is a reciprocal choice, and we shall not force her if she doesn't reciprocate Edward's feelings anymore."
"Well, at least that's a positive. She can talk to us then." Alice seemed optimistic. "We still have school."
"About that…" Carlisle sighed. "You guys will be able to attend Forks High, but Bella has already formed some sort of social life and we can't disturb that either. We need to keep space between you guys and her, the conditions are for Bella's life to continue as they have been working from the time we left until now."
"And what can they do? It's not like they will wait outside of the school." Alice huffed, but to her surprise it looked like that was covered in the conversation as well. "No way! What?!"
"Emmett and a member of the pack will be there at all times to make sure you guys don't come near each other as much as possible. I'm so sorry, Alice. The biggest condition that they set for us to be able to stay was to have as little impact in her life as possible." Carlisle explained. Alice's eyes shot to Emmett, who seemed to be entertained by the difficulties that the wolves had put in their lives.
"I am just helping around the school, enjoying my gap year, sis." He smiled at the short girl but was answered with a venomous look.
"What about the other conditions?" Alice asked.
"We need to help them find Victoria…" Carlisle said.
"Duh, obviously."
"… and move again once we do so." The patriarch finished.
The last sentence brought the attention of Jasper and Esme, just as it did with Alice's. The girl now understood why Edward had been upset enough to jump another wolf, and why Carlisle looked so on edge. They managed to keep the treaty going… but only temporarily.
"And then what? They will kill us if we don't move away?" Alice spat.
"Pretty much." Emmett spoke.
"That ridiculous!" Alice complained.
"There's not much we could do." Carlisle argued. "They're not very happy with you, Alice. Sam almost did not allow for you to attend school with Bella at all. And let's not talk about what Edward pulled today!"
"Oh, and what's with that? Bella isn't their property! What has some good for nothing dog got to say about what Bella does or doesn't do?"
"Alice, I think you're not seeing this objectively." Jasper whispered.
"Objectively?" Alice almost screamed.
"Alice, Bella isn't your property either." The somber tone coming from Emmett's mouth surprised the pixie. "Nor she's Edward's property. She's her own person, and we have to respect the way things have changed in the months we've been gone."
"Any other conditions, love?" Esme asked, trying to end the conversation about Bella right then and there.
"We have to keep our distance from the Quileute people… Sam confirmed what Bella said to Alice: the gene that creates the protectors is linked to the proximity of vampires. We have to be careful that. That also means that if we ever hunt down Victoria… it has to be on our side of the land. The pack will always be more than welcome to patrol our side." Carlisle said. "That is all, on top of the old treaty, of course."
"Bullshit, you're letting these wolves walk all over us, Carlisle." Alice stood up and left, with Jasper quickly following behind her.
Esme looked in their direction before glancing over at Emmett and Carlisle, concerned. "What did Edward do?"
"He… said something about a collective mind." Carlisle explained. "He said that he could hear all of them but not separate from each other. Then… one of them thought of Bella's relationship to one of the others and he snapped. He almost jumped Sam, but Rosalie was quick to stop him."
"Oh, dear." Esme gasped in horror. "Is Sam okay?"
"Edward didn't manage to do anything, but Sam was pretty pissed." Emmett interrupted Carlisle. "Rose took him away. It was on our way back that Carlisle sent him away."
"It will do him some good to be under the vigilance of other vampires." Carlisle admitted. "I just don't know how this can happen… to be completely honest, I was as shocked as Alice to hear that Bella was a mate to the wolf."
"Well, it might not be as serious, could it be?" Esme asked.
"It seems serious… like they're connected by strings. It's something that I have only seen in mates that have been together for centuries." Carlisle explained to his wife. "And even like that, I feel like I am way off."
"Well, at least now we know where Bella stands." Emmett said. "We can only wait and see how Monday goes. Who knows? Maybe Bells will feel like talking to us."
"I certainly hope so." Esme said.