Mysterique Sign III - It's Just Not Cricket

With a blast of wind, our surroundings had changed completely. This looked something like a desert, but it was cold as hell. And I know cold. Tino freaked out and grabbed onto Berwald's arm. The one that hadn't been raised, obviously. Ok, where the heck were we? How does something like this fit into a bedroom?

''ve analysed th'entry code. 't overlaps with normal space, just out of phase.'

'HEY! This ain't closed space!' the puffin yelled.

'Nei, it isn't. It doesn't seem like the normal sort.' Well, yeah, I could have told you that. The sky isn't that dull grey it was before. No, this was the sort of brilliant blue sky you see in holiday brochures.

'Junk data that originated with Mathias Køhler.'

'How much?'

''nsignificant levels. He's just th'trigger.'

'I see.'

Eirikur and Berwald, seemingly oblivious to the Finn clinging to his arm, seemed to be having their own little conversation in some freakishly alien language- wait, bad description. Whatever they were on about, at least they understood each other.

'So,' I attempted to get a place in the conversation, 'the president of the Computer Research Society is somewhere in here?'

'Probably,' Eirikur replied. 'The space created itself in his room and he somehow got stuck within it.'

'Where is he then?'

Berwald raised his hand again.

'Wait!' I interrupted. No way was I having him do something like that again without telling us! 'What are you doing?'

'...nothing.' His raised hand changed to a pointing one. 'There.' Something behind us-

holy crap! What in the name of Asgard was that? It just looks like some kind of swirling mess!

'The hell is that?'

'Ja... I certainly feel its animosity...' How the hell could Eirikur stay so calm? Oh yeah, he was used to this sort of thing. All very well for him and Berwald, but Tino and I have no way of protecting ourselves! Unless, say, Tino could shoot lasers from his eyes.

No, that's the sort of stupid idea Mathias would come up with, although I seriously hope he doesn't.

The swirling mess solidified into a single being. Do you know the camel cricket? If not, Google it. Because that was exactly what was staring us in the face.

'What is that?'

'It's a camel cricket.' And I do hereby dub thee Captain Eirikur Obvious of Akureyri. I know what a camel cricket is, moron!

'Creator of this space,' Berwald stated. That... thing made this place?

'Did Mathias do this too?'

'Th'cause is different. He's the catalyst.' Tino was holding onto Berwald's arm for dear life, and Berwald was still pointing.

'...You can move now.' He shifted his head slightly, then lowered his arm.

'Yeah! Cricket goin' down!' Puffin, of course. On the other hand, I hadn't seen Eirikur so fired-up in person before. A ball of energy was floating above his outstretched palm.

'Looks like I still got some of my powers in this space. It's about one-tenth of what I'm used to, but it'll have to do.'

'Yeah, that's great,' I brushed Eirikur's comments off, 'but Berwald, what's that insect and where's the President guy?'

''s a data lifeform. 's using the student's brain t'increase the probability 'f success.'

'So the President's inside that thing?'

'Mm.'

'I see! If we defeat it, we close down this alternate space, right?'

'Mm.'

'Shouldn't be too difficult then! Let's go, Puffin!' With a loud caw from the puffin, Eirikur launched the ball of energy into the air and launched it straight towards the camel cricket with a cry of 'Krafla!'. The cricket jumped high into the air with those powerful legs, and dived towards Berwald. With more garbled speech, Berwald... raised a force field? Damn, he's good. The two entities pushed against each other, but Berwald managed to push the cricket away. Oh, did I mention Tino was still clinging onto him?

The cricket landed, and it may be my lack of knowledge about interdimensional insects talking here, but it seemed completely unharmed. It charged straight towards me. Faen! I ran for it, and Eirikur was just in front of me. Swinging his arm, he launched another energy ball - this one seemed to be called 'Hekla' - towards the cricket, hitting it square in the face. The cricket reared up. Did that finish it? It didn't look like it... but then it collapsed, dissolving away in a similar way to how Ivan had.

Berwald was standing motionless in front of where the cricket had been.

'Is it over now?' Eirikur asked. Berwald nodded, just slightly. Tino and I both breathed a sigh of relief. Then I saw what the cricket had left behind. Lying in front of us, face up, twitching, glasses askew, was the Computer Research Society President.

With very little warning or transition, I found myself standing in that bedroom again. I seriously wish Berwald would give us a warning before dragging us into something like that again... Still, we found what we came for, I guess.

Berwald switched on the President's computer. Yeah, the guy's just been kidnapped by a interdimensional cricket. Let's raid his porn folder!

''t arrived two hundred and eighty million years ago.' Obviously he wasn't after the porn. I assume he was on about the cricket. 'When't arrived, 't couldn't find the necessary means t'survive. Went into hibernation. Shifted into a half-'wakened state when humans developed computer networks. Then 'n explosion of data from a parallel world caused 't to fully awaken.'

Said explosion of data from a parallel world? That would be the splodge of colour Mathias called a logo. Berwald said it contained four hundred and thirty six petabytes of information. But how could that be the case? When I uploaded that thing, it was just a few of kilobytes!

'A symbol he decided to draw turns out to be something huge like that. Only Mathias Køhler could do something like this,' Eirikur explained. By this point, I was slightly creeped out. All of this couldn't be coincidence, could it? I gave it some thought as I trudged home.

Ok. SOS Brigade is formed. Tino's roped in because he's adorable. Eirikur joins because he's a 'mysterious transfer student'. Berwald joins because he was there from the start. Then it turns out Tino's from the future, Eirikur's an esper, and Berwald's an alien. If this was all Mathias' doing, it's way too much to be just a simple coincidence, right? Eirikur insists it's what Mathias wished for, but I don't believe that for a second. If everything that idiot does is significant in some way... then why am I here? The only thing strange about me is one strand of floating hair, and that certainly doesn't do anything useful... Other than that, I've been Eirikur-Certified normal! Why?

Oh. I know. I'm the conscience of this club. I'm pretty much just here to stop his rampages. Other than that, I'm fairly useless, really...

Ok, enough wallowing in self-pity. Time to ask questions.

'So what was that cricket thing anyway?' I asked Berwald as he tried to sort out the Brigade's website the next day.

'Data lifeform.'

'Any relation to your Entity-thingy?'

'Similar source. Evolved separately 'n its race perished.' Until you found the survivor here. Why couldn't the blasted thing have hibernated on Neptune? I took over at the computer for a while.

Wait a sec. If the logo was the cause of all this, then...

'Why did nothing happen in here when he finished drawing the logo? Nothing happened when he showed it to me, either!'

Eirikur sighed, as though the answer were obvious. 'For a while, this room's been in an alternate dimension. You've got all of us in here, and quite frankly there's no room for any more weirdness.'

So what, we've got our own universe here? Whatever Eirikur's smoking, I- actually, no I don't. I turned back to the screen, and noticed something very odd indeed.

'Hei. When did we get so many hits?' Before, the counter was barely on three digits. Now we're at almost thirty thousand? Wha?

According to Berwald, the cricket thing evolves by storing hyperlinks, and uploads itself into the minds of those who see the logo. And eight other morons saw the logo. Five of which are North High students. No doubt we've got to go save them, too... Typical. Never a moment's rest.

Berwald created a new logo and stuck it on the page. With any luck- no, no need for luck. He'll never notice.

I caught up to Mathias later.

'Hei, the Computer Research Society President came back today.'

'Oh yeah?' He seemed... remarkably disinterested. 'It was probably either a bout of melancholy or an argument with his partner... Hej, Nor! Did ya know? We got thirty thousand hits on our website!' Sigh... Any opportunity to reroute the topic to yourself... Well, as I thought, he didn't notice a thing. Come to think of it, I should probably reassure Matthieu. Whatever his name was.

...well, I asked the President, and the only response I got was 'who?'. Apparently the guy doesn't even have a partner. In which case... who on earth is Matthew Williams?

Hmm. There's one person who's been in on this entire case, and that's Berwald Oxenstierna. Could he really have engineered this elaborate scenario... just to keep Mathias occupied? Or was it that living in an empty room for years on end, Berwald was the one that was bored? Perhaps that explains the sudden attachment to Tino.

I wonder, Berwald... do you get lonely?

A/N: Sorry for the incredibly lame pun in the title... I couldn't resist.

Still feels like there's something off... meh. [Is 'kickassy' even a word?] But forgetting Canada... uh... what was I on about? *shot'd* By the way, Eirikur's attacks are both names of Icelandic volcanoes. I've been to Krafla, and damn does it stink. Also, Hekla was once considered the gateway to hell. How appropriate that it now be used to destroy a cricket.

Next chapter, everyone takes a holiday! Including Norge's annoying brat of a brother!

Until next time, avskjed~