A/N: Well, guys, I'm back. You're probably wondering if I fell off a cliff or not. XD No, but I gotta say that it took me forever to find time for this fiction. What with Xion's Opinions and my X-mas story, this had to be pushed back. But, it's back for now, so I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 21: Her Second Thoughts

Perching gingerly on the balustrade of one of many balconies through this vaguely spaceship-like castle, Larxene gazed fervently at Kingdom Hearts. As Xemnas preferred to say, it was the source for darkness and the key to retrieving their hearts. But, suppose this oddly heart-shaped moon stayed neutral—no light and no darkness? It chose to rest somewhere in the middle in a happy (yet unhappy) medium. Did he ever think of that? No, that she knew better than anyone else in this forsaken Organization. He relied on his lust for power and revenge against denizens of the light to achieve his goal. Not only that, but he seemed the type to leave his mostly adoring followers all behind. This was starting to turn out to be one miserable cult, Larxene decided. Now, if she turned things around, she could reign over...hmm, doubtless that that would work, though.

After all, though Xemnas must have declared himself supreme Superior of the Organization XIII ages ago (long before she even came into the picture), rebels in this castle plotted against him. Since someone rose this drastically to power, renegades were bound to be born. In fact, Axel told her sardonically just the other day what he thought of their "gregarious leader."

"He's nothing but a fake," he scoffed, running his hand through his scarlet spikes of hair. "If someone were to, let's say, topple him off his high throne, things could get accomplished around here."

She wondered what her boyfriend had implied by that...unless the same greed that possessed Xemnas possessed him as well. It could be possible yet not—it was hard to tell with that enigma. Maybe that was the reason they were falling apart as a once indestructible couple. Sometime between their first date two weeks ago and the fifth one that ended a couple of minutes ago, some strain formed wedged in between their relationship. If Larxene merely asked how his mission went, Axel would look at her mysteriously and not even say a word. He would vanish into a portal, still staring at her as though she accidentally discovered a dark secret concerning him. For the most part, his face would remain an emotionless mask, but his eyes told a different story.

He was concerned not only for himself but for her, since he would keep apologizing to her occasionally for nothing. As if the man could feel guilt! Wasn't he supposed to be some sort of villain, according to Marluxia? But, then again, a profound personality lay underneath the scornful, mocking surface of the redhead. Even if he regretted them ever getting together (then why did he hit on her?), why would he try to pull her on a string? Larxene was no fool. She could sense these psychological perceptions better than anyone. Why did they even get as far as they did in the relationship? Sighing heavily from the realization that she lived a lie, she absentmindedly yet anxiously tapped her fingers on the marble railing. If she tortured herself as well as her boyfriend with their romantic façade any longer, she would burst. Perhaps it was all just meaningless lust after all. One little encounter in the library, and she had been smitten. Ugh, she could hardly believe such weakness could emerge from her!

As for Marluxia, the pink haired man treated her far more kindly than in the past. For each day of the week, he would give her a single flower. Lilies on Sunday, asters on Monday, and so forth until Saturday—he reserved that special day for bestowing her red rose. That particular vivid color of the species represented passionate love. Could he seriously have feelings for her? Sure, sure, the whole Nobodies have no hearts "fact" allegedly stated that as false. However, what she had with him could be true. She could blame their rivalry on sexual tension perhaps. That could work in this case, solving the mystery as to why he behaved harshly before. Axel never gave her roses, for he would forget to bring her anything. In the rare circumstance that he did remember a gift, he would accidentally burn it with his overly hot hands. Oh, why did the heavy romance between them cool so suddenly?

And now, she sensed another memory of the dark haired boy who resembled Marluxia taking persistent hold of her mind. She had started seeing these especially strong visions at night—ever since the first date she had with Axel. Her memories struggled to tell her that something was amiss in paradise for her and the fire elemental. Were they trying to tell her that they weren't meant to be? What a terrifying thought! Her teal eyes widening slightly, Larxene pondered over the possibility of her going with the wrong man. Mystery Man (the one in her dreams and muddled thoughts) appeared far more handsome...and kind and gentle...perfect. Axel—well—he could never really aspire to become living perfection like the man of her dreams. Wait, if Axel wasn't the man of her dreams, then who could it possibly...?

She gasped from subconsciously reading her book of revelation in a sense, nearly falling off the balustrade in the process of this pivotal moment. Gulping down this fear (relatively unknown to her, that emotion), she felt beads of perspiration sliding down her brow. Why had she been so stupid and naïve before? Marluxia had been there more for her, technically. Last week, a huge Heartless that they were trying to contain in Wonderland tackled her to the ground, pinning her by the shoulders. She remembered gritting her teeth as she forcefully shouted at it to get off of her...or else it would face the consequences. Just as it threatened to kill her for good (even without a heart, this could still happen if she got digested or something to that effect), Marluxia saved her just in time. Oddly enough, he rescued her with an alternative weapon...a soup ladle.

"Was that the secret recipe for success?" she had joked in their newly traditional light-hearted banter.

He grinned that famous, dazzling, and heart melting grin of his that seemed to have a power of its own over her, some sort of charm. "It was a weapon I hadn't used in a while. I also thought that that Heartless needed a good smack on the head—not a decapitation. Are you all right, my dear?"

"Fine, thanks to your soup ladle. Speaking of which, I'm hungry." Larxene paused to laugh at the irony of these comparative statements. "I wonder what they're serving at the kitchens."

"I don't know. Let's find out."

He had offered his hand, which she accepted without really thinking twice about it. A hand touch didn't mean infidelity to a significant other, did it? However, though Axel was indeed a romantic interest, she increasingly sought out Marluxia's companionship as the passion died down into a few burning embers. Soon, it wouldn't even be embers but ashes drifting off on the cold northern wind to a far-off place she could only dream. Even though what she recently shared with the gardener was a comfortable camaraderie, she preferred it over her allegedly serious relationship with Axel. What she had with him now had previously comprised of childishness and jokes. Now, it was just plain seriousness all the time, and if that quality worked for most couples, it certainly didn't work for them. All along it came back to the fact that it could honestly be a lie, no more and no less.

Pensive at the moment, Larxene reflected on the presently warm friendship she had with Marluxia. Whenever she needed him, she could rely on him for anything. Their conversations covered a variety of topics, and they enjoyed each other's humor whenever it came up, more often than it used to be. She simply adored his sharp wit and his alluring mind that could possibly contain an IQ up to 175. Number Eleven served as one of the most intelligent men in the Organization—Axel, not so much, more streetwise than anything. So, could the sharing of "love" with the redhead turn sour if she prolonged it any further? At this point, Larxene lacked doubts regarding that matter.

He materialized from a portal just then, as though fate jested at her almost guilt that nearly shattered her if she dwelled on it for too long. Putting on a rather brave face on what she would so cowardly dare to do, Larxene stood from the railing to greet him. Once again, no jokes lit his emerald eyes, practically dead due to the shortage of them. It was her fault. The torturous suffering of their combined contriteness had gone on for long enough. She had to break it off, especially if the man who resembled Marluxia entered her thoughts instead of him.

"Hey," Axel solemnly greeted, raising a hand that he limply dropped afterwards. Truthfully, Larxene expected him to drop dead from merely speaking to her. She sighed yet again, realizing that she could never be truly happy with him from this day forward. Inevitably, she would have to create her own path, one that did not involve him treading beside her. As much as she had desired it three weeks ago (had it really only been three weeks?), their love faded now—if it had even taken on that way to begin with.

"Hi," she said back just as grimly. One would think that there had recently been a funeral occurring in the castle rather than a dying flame of a romance. But, all she had thought about in the past few minutes was Marluxia; those thoughts had made her content with herself. Wondering about Axel's enigmatic ways only suffocated her soul instead of enticing her as they once did. Raking back strands of her blond hair, she murmured, "I have a confession to make. I'm not in love with you any more."

Most definitely, she didn't adore and admire him now like she had last week. Talk about a run-of-the-mill, crash-and-burn whirlwind of a passion they shared. However, water was drowning the flames, which were drowning without any chance of salvation. The thunder brought the rain that devoured them after all. In the mean time, Axel raised a questioning eyebrow, though his somewhat pained green eyes told her that he knew what it would be. She would say goodbye to him after much contemplation that began once their fifth and last dismal date ended. When Marluxia had interfered with his natural charisma, their dates had fared poorly. This one had happened to be the worst of them all. And Larxene was sick of the failures they brought. Dates were supposed to comprise of sheer happiness and love not misery and despair. That's what happens when you go out with a twisted sadist like me, she thought bitterly, unclenching her shaking fists. In a voice that sounded so much stronger than what she felt deep down, she told Axel, "I feel like we've been lying to ourselves ever since we started. What could have been love between us just died after choking to death."

Usually, as customary for her, she made these rather blunt, ugly metaphors that actually told the truth. For all of her dementedness of her soul, she knew that she valued honesty above all else. Maybe Axel had lied to her too the whole time.

For, he nodded in submission, not even attempting to persuade her that they belonged together. Both of them knew they really didn't. Besides, Larxene figured out the other night that Axel's Somebody had been a guy named Lae who was a total jerk to her. Obviously, what could come out of something that had been so ugly in a past life? Nothing, clearly, as she drearily recognized.

Unclasping a gold locket, his only gift unscathed by fire, she returned it to him with an almost expressionless face. Inside, for once, she was crying disbelievingly about why she had gotten into this whole loveless situation.

Still without a tremor to her voice, she whispered, "Goodbye."

Proceeding to portal herself out of there before she could see the shock on Axel's handsome face, she sensed tears in her eyes. He lied to her. Why didn't she explode instead? Oh, that's right. She hated to hurt him for some odd reason that departed entirely from her sadist self. Oh well, what was done was done. She needed to go to Marluxia and tell him about their past lives together before it was too late.

A/N: Larxel fans, I have to apologize to you first and foremost. Then again, for your consolation prize, I had Larxene actually let Axel down gently. I know, I wasn't really expecting it myself until I started typing the chapter. XD Marlene fans, rejoice! Larxene and Marluxia might get together soon...if certain things don't happen to ruin it. I may or may not include these certain things whatever they are. Ah, it's good to be the author! I may be bluffing, and you wouldn't know. It's like playing poker.

OK, the "book of revelation" reference was just something I came across in "Anne of the Island", which is in the "Anne of Green Gables" series. It popped into my head while typing, so I thought I could use it. Secondly, the ladle is an actual joke weapon that Marluxia uses in 358/2 Days (in case you didn't know by now). And thirdly, since I like Larxel a little, I just could not have Larxene explode over Axel. Blame it on my Axel preference, so throw the tomatos!

Otherwise, I hope all of you were happy with the chapter overall.