Chapter 21

Breaking Point

Thud… thud… thud. The sound of the dirt pounding against the coffin rang in his ears. Bardon stood looking down into the hole as it slowly filled up. Tears silently rolled down his cheeks; he dare not wipe them away. Kale stood beside him, her eyes glistening.

Afterwards, only Bardon, Kale, Kolantar, and Amberlee stayed. Bardon felt anguish and regret in his heart. But he couldn't imagine what Amberlee was feeling. Surely she was the one closest to Darka. What did Kolantar feel? He could possibly feel worse than him. He had been with Darka most recently. Bardon knew Kale felt bad because Darka was a dear friend to him, and she was the one who could've saved Darka.

Bardon took in a deep breath; he was going to do it. He was tired of holding it back. The thing that really hardened him, and had turned him into that silent Lehman. The thoughts that had haunted and tortured him for years. It all came down to this. This was the breaking point. His final wall, smashing to bits. His emotions would run free until they come to this dam, the one he was going to take out, now. Bardon pushed out the breath of air.

"I didn't come back." He mumbled.

"What?" Kale asked.

"I… I didn't come back." Bardon repeated.

"You didn't come back to what, Bardon?" Kale was confused.

"You know the story I told you about Darka and I being captured. They took us to different sides of the camp to kill us, remember? I told you I escaped but never saw Darka again. I told you I planned to rescue Darka too. Well, I did plan to." Bardon swallowed. He turned his head back to Kale. "But I was coward. Kale, I didn't go back for him. I was too much of a coward to go back and try to fight. I thought Darka would do the same as I did. I was too scared that if I did go back to get him, I might've found him dead. I was too scared that I would be dead, if I went back. So, as soon as I was loose I ran like crazy. I didn't look back. Don't you see Kale? He could've been alive right now!"

Kale placed a hand on Bardon's arm. He needed to calm down, he was getting too upset with himself.

"Bardon, I already played this game. You're smart enough to back down from blaming yourself. It's not your fault and you know that." Kale said calmly.

"Kale, you don't get it. I'm a coward, I left Darka to DIE!" He shouted. Bardon collapsed.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to be the strong one, he was supposed to ignore these feelings. Kale was the one who was supposed to do this, and he would be there for her. It wasn't supposed to be the other way around!

Everyone has their breaking point. Everyone stumbles, everyone has emotions. If you keep them bottled up for too long, you eventually break. Bardon couldn't tell if he was the one thinking these things or if it was Wulder.

A steady flow of tears rained down from Bardon's face onto the dirt covering Darka's grave. He let it all go, the wall had fallen with a great crash. The dam broke, not only the one for his tears but the one in his heart. All the sleepless nights he had, tossing and turning, thinking about how different everything would have been, if… if only he had gone back. All of the times he tried to shun the voice in his head shouting, "You fool!" "You're worthless!" "You coward!" "You traitor!" "You basically killed him!" "You left without even a glance back at what you were leaving behind!" "You are a cowardly, foolish, worthless, stupid, traitor!"

Bardon reached forward and crushed the clumps of dirt he grasped. He looked up, everyone had left, except Kale, who kneeled on the other side of the grave.

Bardon cried out in anger. "No! I'm not worthless anymore!" He leaned forward again and rested his forehead on the dirt.

"I'm sorry." His whisper into the ground gently blew some dirt away. "I'm sorry, that I was a coward. I… I was a traitor to you, my best friend. Who betrays their best friend? It doesn't matter, I did and now I'm paying for it. And so is Amberlee, Cassis, Kole, and everyone else, and… you."

Bardon could see his tears making mud in the dirt. He took in a shaky breath as looked up to see the most loving eyes imaginable. Loving eyes that were filled with tears, for him. She deeply cared, no matter what he did. Justly like he deeply cared, no matter what she does. Except this time, it was his turn. His emotions and escaped and flooded his mind. The wet dirt in front of him was proof of it.

Kale reached her hand over to grasp his.

"I never knew that… that." She started.

"I… I know." Bardon whispered. He tried to speak at first but his voice cracked.

Kale jumped up and ran around over to him. She wrapped her arms around him as she sat beside him. Bardon leaned into her embrace, only a few tears dripped down his face.

"I'm so sorry. I never knew what was bottled up so tightly in you. I feel bad, are you going to be okay?" Kale asked.

"I'll be all right. This is just the beginning of my healing. Oh, Kale. You don't know how long I've kept that to myself. I haven't told anyone, ever." Bardon's voice was raspy and hoarse.

"That… that sounds horrible." Kale broke her side embrace and turned him to face her. She leaned forward and hugged him from the front. "No one should ever have to keep secrets like that, ever."

"I know." Bardon breathed deeply. "Kale, I don't think I have ever felt this free before."

"It feels great, doesn't it?" She said over his shoulder.

"It does. Thank you." He whispered into her ear. Kale pulled away and looked at him askance.

"What for?" She asked.

"For always being here for me." He said.

"Me? Here for you? Usually it's you here for me. I just had to return the favor." Kale smiled.

"Well, I'll always be here for you if you're always here for me." Bardon winked.

"Deal." Kale gave him a heart-stopping smile. He stood up and reached a hand down to help her up. But he didn't let go once she was on her feet. She started to walk away, but Bardon stopped her. He pulled her in close and hugged her again. Her hair tickled his nose as he breathed in the citrus smell of oran'ts.

Kale looked up and smiled. Bardon smiled back and kissed her, his lips lingering for longer than normal. When the pulled apart, still in each other's arms, he reached his hand to her hair and stroked it.

"You're amazing, you know that?" He asked.

"Well then that means we're a perfect match because you are too." Kale's eyes twinkled as she smiled. It was those kind of smiles, the ones of pure joy, that make him feel like falling over. He never told her, but those smiles manage to take his breath away.

"I guess so." Bardon smiled.

"We should probably let Darka rest in peace. Not with us kissing and all." Kale giggled.

"Probably." Bardon let her go, except for her hand. They walked back, hand in hand, to the Hall.

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"Look Merine! Kale and who I've been guessing is Bardon, are coming!" Mercille tugged on her husband's arm with excitement. "Now that the funeral is over we can meet Bardon!"

"Why is this so exciting to you?" Merine asked, he truly was quite puzzled.

"Because, we never get any excitement where we live. And it's young love, Merine. We had that once, but it's been awhile. That's why it's exciting!" Mercille refrained from bouncing on her toes.

"Okay, I guess." Merine rubbed the back of his neck, and mentally shrugged his shoulders.

Kale and the young man continued walking in their direction, their fingers intertwined. Their smiles were exuberant and most unusual, for they were returning from a funeral. But Mercille didn't mind, she knew why they were smiling.

"Hello! You made it!" Kale unclasped her hand from the man's and reached out to shake hands.

"Yes we did! I am very glad we did. I am also excited to meet not only my new niece, but this Bardon of yours." Mercille smiled.

"Yes, that would be me." Bardon dipped his head into a small bow. "How do you do?"

"I am doing great, you?" Mercille analyzed his every action and word.

"Well, I wasn't doing well before. But that is all taken care of. Right, Kale?" Bardon looked down at his girl with a smile.

"That is right." Kale smiled back. "This is Mercille, she is Amberlee's sister."

"Oh, really? I was a dear friend of Darka's. I just recently met his wife." Bardon paused. "Did you know that Kale was Amberlee's mid-wife?"

"Why, no! That's great! Was it your first chance?" Mercille's curiosity peaked it's highest at this point.

"Yes!" Kale nodded her head. She looked around and noticed that they were standing on the crowded stairs to the Hall. "Perhaps we should continue our conversation indoors? We could find Amberlee and my mother."

"Very, well. Come along, Merine. Quit fussing with your coat buttons! I just sewed them before we left, if you continue that, they'll be gone by tomorrow." Mercille grabbed her husband by the wrist and dragged him behind her up the steps.

Once inside, Kale led the others through the Hall. Mercille was amazed at the massive size of it. Large royal blue curtains with gold trim were pulled to the sides to reveal ceiling high windows. The window sills were at her waist, under the sills were small mahogany tables with rose colored candles in golden candle holders resting on them.

Mercille looked ahead and saw an elegant looking oran't lady on the arm of a tall oran't man. The lady's brown hair was swept up into a ballerina bun on the top of her head. She wore a red dress with golden designs sewn into the bodice. The upper part of the sleeves were tight against her arms and covered with red lace. Once the lace ended at her elbow, the red fabric flourished out in a wide end ending at her knuckles. Her face seemed ageless, but the man beside her, who she assumed was her husband, looked to be in his fifty's or so. The man wore the usual fancy black suit of the courts, and his hair was cut at his ears and away from his face.

As they approached the couple the lady waved her hand excitedly and rushed over to them.

"Mother, what are you wearing that for?" Kale gestured her hands at the extravagant dress.

"Well, you know me. I can't stand to be sad. I know the tradition after a funeral, you mourn and wear dark clothing for a week or two. But I won't do it! As soon as that funeral was over I made a mad dash for my room. I couldn't wear that wretched sad dress a minute longer." Lyll folded her arms across her chest and held her head high.

"Okay, but why this dress now?" Kale was still confused.

"It was the happiest and most fun looking dress I had!" Lyll's face exploded into a large smile. "I added a few personal changes to it of course."

"I see. Anyways. Mother, Father, may I introduce you to Mercille and Merine?" Kale gestured from her parents to the other couple.

"It's nice to meet you, we are Lady Lyll and Sir Kemry Allerion. Kale's parents." Lyll outstretched her hand to Mercille.

"I'm pleased to meet you as well, Lady. I am Amberlee's sister." Mercille was very glad that she had gone over formal court etiquette with Merine before their trip. She certainly had used it a lot since they'd been here.

"Oh, that woman is a dear! When was the last time you saw her?" Lyll on the other hand, tended to throw etiquette and sophisticatedness out the window.

"Oh, a year or two ago. It really is a shame that we live so far apart. I was so excited to hear that I am an aunt!" Mercille was starting to sound more like Lyll.

"Well, why don't we go see this niece of yours?" Lyll asked.

"Oh, yes please!" Mercille nodded her head vigorously.

After Mercille had a heartwarming greeting from her sister she was able to hold Cassis. Mercille gushed as the little baby cooed and gurgled.

"She's darling, Amber! And so pretty!" She tapped Cassis on her little button nose.

Mercille continued to cuddle little Cassis.

"Excuse me, but we are going to go for now. We all will probably see you tomorrow." Bardon interrupted.

"Oh, okay. Bye." Mercille said, never taking her eyes off her sister and niece.

As soon as they closed the door behind them both Amberlee and Mercille sighed with relief.

"All right, Amber. We're alone now." Mercille placed Cassis in the little baby bed.

Amberlee rushed across the room to her sister.

"Oh, Mercy! It's so lonely without him." Tears streamed down her sister's face as she held her in a hug.

"I know, I know. Calm down." Mercille rubbed soothing circles on her sister's back.

"He never got to see Cassis! He would have loved her so much. He wanted to be a father, he couldn't wait till the baby would be born." Amberlee continued to sob into her sister's shoulder.

Eventually her sobs stopped, only a few sniffles here and there broke the silence. She pulled away and smiled and wiped her face with the back of her hands.

"Thank you." She said.

"Anything for my sister."

A/N

Hey! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Honestly the whole thing wanted to make me cry! :( Finally Bardon's secret is out! *sigh* Now that that is over with.

I want to inform all of you that I have comical one-shot on How To Train Your Dragon now! Go check it out, you'll love it! Also, I have several other stories, so check that out too! :) I am planning on doing some Frozen fanfics after this story. I confirm that there will be a sequel to this story. But, I will be doing HTTYD and Frozen fanfics first. I need to dabble in other area before I continue! :)

If you could pray for my family please, my grandparents are on the brink of divorce. Thankyou.

~Annanarra