When Pain Doesn't Hurt Chapter 21
I don't own these characters…except the ones I created.
Olivia stayed late at the precinct going over her notes and trying to find something, anything that would even slightly resemble a lead in their latest case. She was growing more and more frustrated as her thoughts kept jumping from the task at hand. She thought about her first day with her new partner. She thought about how she missed her old partner. She even thought about her former lover and how wrong things turned out with him.
The desk lamp gave off just enough light for her to read, leaving the rest of the squad room in relative darkness. Olivia rested her head in her hands for a moment to give her eyes a rest. She found herself fighting the fatigue that suddenly set in. It had been a rough first day back to work, emotionally and physically. She absentmindedly rubbed her chest where her wound was nearly healed.
She propped her head up with one hand while turning pages in her notebook. Her eyes challenged her to just give in, even for just a few minutes. Olivia heard Elliot holler and then she heard the gunshot. Her body jerked and the pain in her chest was immediate. Olivia quickly stood and fought to catch her breath. She allowed herself to doze off and the nightmares consumed her…again. She clutched at her chest as she willed her breathing to slow.
"Olivia?"
Olivia quickly pulled her weapon and turned towards the voice. A reflex that seemed automatic.
Elliot quickly put his hands up and waited for her to recognize him before moving slowly towards her. "Liv, easy."
After a few seconds, Olivia lowered her gun. She bent over and put her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. Elliot reached her and carefully took her gun from her.
"I'm sorry, El." she panted as she straightened to a full standing position.
Elliot held her by the shoulders so that she was looking directly at him. "Okay?"
"Yeah." Olivia raised her hands to her face. "I must've dozed off and…"
Elliot led her to sit back down as he lowered himself to sit on her desk. He waited until she looked up at him with a questioning gaze. "Stopped by your apartment once I dropped the kids off, but you weren't there. Just a guess you'd be here."
"Yeah, was just getting ready to leave." Olivia closed the files and stood to grab her jacket. Her hand went to her chest as she worked to put her jacket on.
"You okay?" Elliot stood next to his former partner and motioned to her chest.
"Just a little sore. Long first day back." Olivia smiled but the smile didn't come close to reaching her eyes.
Elliot reached for her hand. He smiled at her before looking at his old desk. "How's the new partner working out?"
Olivia rolled her eyes and headed for the elevator. "You did come to give me a ride home, right?"
"Of course." Elliot boarded the elevator right behind Olivia and couldn't help but feel the loss of the partnership right in the heart of his chest as well. He knew she wouldn't tell him the specifics about her first day with Richard Gomes. And he knew better than to push. He figured she didn't need to know that he had already been filled in by Fin.
Elliot pulled up in front of Olivia's apartment building. She glanced over at him and waited a few moments to see what he planned to do. He looked into her eyes and hoped she would invite him up. He missed her; he hated work now that it didn't include her.
"Did you feel like coming up?" Olivia could feel her heart begin to race.
"I do. Only if you really want company." Elliot held his breath trying not to appear too anxious.
Olivia smiled and proceeded to get out of the car. Elliot followed and they walked the stairs to her apartment together. Once inside, Elliot made himself comfortable on the couch. Olivia brought him a beer and sat down next to him. "How was your day. How's it been going with your new partner?"
Elliot laughed as he let his head fall back and rest on the back of the couch. "He'll be okay. Definitely got some growing to do."
Olivia loved to see Elliot laugh. "I'm sure you'll break him in gently."
Elliot straightened up and reached for Olivia's hand. "I miss you already, Liv." He then reached up and placed his palm against her cheek.
Olivia could feel her breath catch the moment he touched her. She watched him as he moved closer so that she could feel his breath on her face. She didn't wait for him. She pressed her lips to his and instantly felt light headed. They shared so many emotions within one kiss that Elliot quickly stood separating them.
"Elliot?" Olivia was confused, concerned. She also stood and approached him.
"Are you sure you're okay with this. With…us?" Elliot's eyes were fixed on hers.
"I'm sure. Are you sure, El?" Olivia asked noticing a sinking feeling in her chest.
" I almost didn't get a chance to tell you how I feel. I just don't want to mess this up." Elliot looked at his former partner trying to read her thoughts.
Olivia moved closer to him and grabbed his hands with her own. They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments before Elliot frantically kissed her . His sudden movement caused her to feel off balance until Elliot's strong arms wrapped around her. He pulled back to look at her and ask the silent question. He saw the answer and gently lifted Olivia into his arms. He lied her down on her bed and removed his shirt and tie before joining her.
Olivia brought her hands up to feel his chest. She had dreamt of touching him this way for what seemed like forever. Elliot kept his position to allow her to touch him. He closed his eyes and lost himself in her touch. He captured her mouth with his again while his fingers worked to undo the buttons of her shirt. He pulled the shirt away and let his eyes move over her. She saw his eyes stop on her bullet wound. She covered the area with her hands instantly feeling insecure.
Elliot gently removed her hands and laced his fingers with hers. He pinned them down onto the mattress on either side of her head. Her heart raced as she watched Elliot. She trusted him; completely. He looked her in the eyes before lowering his lips to her chest. He let his lips skim her wound. He could feel her heart beating and hear her rapid breathing. He gently laid his head onto her chest and listened to her heart beat.
He couldn't believe they were here, together, like this. He was forbidden to touch her for so many years. He knew his partner was a beautiful woman, but he couldn't believe his eyes as he took her in. He released one hand so he could cup her face. He kissed her passionately. His hand slid down to remove her bra, exposing her full breasts to him. He looked back up to see her eyes closed.
"I'm sure, El." came the words in a whisper that said tonight would be the night they would become more than partners.
The ringing of Olivia's cell startled them awake. She groaned as she reached for it without opening her eyes.
"Benson." she huffed out glancing at her bedside clock. Elliot watched now knowing how she answered his many late night calls. He smiled watching her even though he knew she would most likely be heading out.
"Yes, Captain. I'll be there as soon as I can." Olivia closed her phone and lied back down rubbing her forehead. Elliot reached in and trailed his lips down her neck to her shoulder.
Olivia sighed wishing she could lay here forever with this man. "You know the drill." she mumbled.
Elliot sighed as he watched her get out of bed and head into the bathroom. He glanced at the clock to see it was almost five in the morning. His phone went off a few minutes later. For a brief moment, Elliot forgot they worked out of different precincts now.
Olivia emerged from the bathroom in a towel, her hair still wet from her quick shower. "You too?"
Elliot was dressed and sitting on the edge of her bed. "What was your call?"
"Cragen called us all in. Pretty big case, said he'd fill me in when I got there." Olivia hurriedly dressed herself and brushed out her hair.
"Mine was child abduction, murdered parents." Elliot paused and looked up at her when she slowed her movements. "Two children. Reported sighting in five different boroughs."
Elliot could read her mind and grabbed her arms so she was facing him. He knew how she was with cases that involved kids. He knew how he was. They counted on each other to keep the other grounded; focused.
Olivia looked Elliot in the eye before mumbling the name that was on both of their lips. "Gitano."
"I'm guessing that's your call as well." Elliot watched his former partner slide her badge on her belt and holster her gun before pulling on her jacket. "Are you going to be okay, Liv."
Olivia reached in and kissed him. "Be careful."
Elliot knew he couldn't afford to be worrying about her. He also knew she was more than capable of doing her job and doing it well. He knew he loved her.
Elliot dropped Olivia off at the one six and headed to Queens. He hated leaving her. They should be working this together. This is what they do. Damn Tucker. He watched her until she disappeared into the precinct.
Olivia entered the already busy squad room. Cragen was surrounded by uniforms and detectives from all shifts. Maybe Elliot was correct in assuming this was big.
"Oh, Good Morning, Benson. Nice of you to show this morning." Gomes was at his desk waiting patiently for Cragen to dispense assignments.
"Screw you, Gomes." Olivia absolutely hated seeing him at Elliot's desk. Cragen got everyone's attention and confirmed that there was indeed a double homicide, double child abduction. Olivia closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. She blocked out the commotion briefly and let herself feel Elliot's hands on her as they were just a few hours earlier. She already missed him terribly and worried how he would do with his new partner on such a sensitive case..
"Benson, Gomes." Cragen called pulling Olivia from her thoughts. Here we go, she thought and stood to start the day.