"Ready?" Mindy asked, crossing her arms. Dave nodded, awaiting instructions. "Okay, first thing's first. Until I say otherwise, these are your hands now."

Dave raised an eyebrow and looked at the machetes. "I think I might starve then."

Mindy rolled her eyes. "Don't be a smart ass. I'm serious. They're heavier than what you're used to. If you drop your batons, someone can beat your ass with them, you can absorb the damage and come back from it. You drop those…"

"I know, Mindy. I've been stabbed before. Knives are sharp. I get it." Dave stated, before Mindy kicked one of the machetes out of his hands and with a slash, Dave had a slight nick on his neck. "What the fuck?!"

Mindy glared as she watched him touch the small wound. "Congratulations. You're dead. On the floor, close your eyes."

Dave sighed. "Really?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

Dave paused and then did as instructed, laying on the ground and closing his eyes. It immediately put him on edge since he was obviously dealing with drill sergeant Mindy again.

"Dave, I love you. You know that. So that's why I'm going to drill this into you until it's second nature. I really don't want you to die. This is your freebie. I do not want to see those blades coming out of your hand like that again. Am I understood?"

"Sir, yes sir!" Dave saluted on the ground and got a stomp on his chest for his cheekiness. He didn't drop the other blade though. "Okay, okay! Fuck!"

There was a pause before Mindy continued. "You do not drop or let go of those blades." She repeated.

"No." Dave replied, sincerely. "They're my hands now."

He could almost sense Mindy nodding. "So now that, that's settled, the rules for our days off are changing. No more random attacks…for obvious reasons. Besides, those things are going to stay in a sheath unless I say so until I think you know what you're doing."

"Question?" Dave tried to ask without sounding like he was mocking her.

"You may ask, Corpse."

"Well…seriously. How am I supposed to eat or use the bathroom or whatever with big ass knives in my hand?"

Mindy rolled her eyes. "If you're doing something where you absolutely need your hands, then you can put them down. But you pick them up immediately afterwards. I swear Dave, if I see you walking around without those machetes in your hands or if you drop them, then…" Mindy paused as she was obviously trying to think of a suitable punishment. The longer she thought, the more he began to legitimately worry. "You better be about to fuck me."

Dave's eyes shot open and he suddenly sat up, death be damned. "Seriously?"

"Yes. I promise not to sabotage or taze you or anything. But if you let those drop, then you're letting me down. And if you let me down, you're sure as fuck making it up to me." Mindy glared, pushing Dave back down again.

"And what if I…want that?" Dave grinned, pretty secure in his ability to call Mindy's bluff this time.

Mindy blanked for a second. "Then after we're done fucking like rabbits, I'll figure out something more effective. Is that an offer?"

"No." Dave replied, with a smirk.

"Then I guess you should shut the fuck up then, shouldn't you?" Mindy flashed a predatory smile.

Dave held back a chuckle, but he followed Mindy's orders. Once she was done stating the new rules, she handed him the other machete back and they practiced some basic stances and lunges. Dave could feel Mindy's eyes on him as they trained. She could say what she wanted, but there was a part of her that wanted him to drop them. He didn't though, it was obviously important to her, so despite his initial mocking, he took it seriously.

She wasn't kidding when she said she was going to push his endurance with them either. He had to jog with then, the knife fight equivalent of shadowboxing, and sheathing and unsheathing them behind his back over and over. He was in machete boot camp.

Even once the training was over for the day, his new "hands" had to remain attached, except for when he was eating.

"You know, if you keep up with this every day, then I'm going to forget all my hand to hand shit."

Mindy rolled her eyes. "That's just muscle memory at this point. We'll switch it up once you're more comfortable with the blades. And when I can find a safe place to practice, I'll teach you how to shoot."

Dave cocked his head to the side. He'd never really considered using guns. Sure he'd technically done it before but you don't really need to aim with a gattling gun. And with the bazooka, he was so close that once again, aiming wasn't an issue. He looked up at the wall of guns.

When Mindy followed his gaze, she smiled. "You already know how to clean most of them. You'll just be learning to shoot with all of them as well."

Dave felt like he'd fallen down the rabbit hole but continued trying scale it to get back to the top no matter how many times he kept falling. He'd finally just accepted the inevitability and let the fall happen and now…there wasn't a ground. But the really scary part was…he was okay with that because he knew there would be a bottom eventually and more importantly, he knew who was waiting for him there.

As Mindy looked up some things that would make Dave's training a little easier, she glanced over the computer to see Dave trying to go through his texts while holding the machetes. It was absolutely ridiculous. She couldn't look away. He had the phone propped up, while his machetes were flipped around. He was holding them with all of his fingers except for his pointer fingers which he was using for scrolling. It looked so uncomfortable and awkward, she legitimately felt pity for the poor bastard.

"You can put them down to check your phone, fucktard." Mindy suggested. Dave wasn't listening, though. He looked like he was watching an elephant give birth to a zebra or something. That was how intensely he was reading. "Hey! Dumbass!"

Mindy had to call at him a few more times before he actually reacted. She was starting to get worried. When he finally noticed her, he'd jumped at how close she was, obviously still expecting her to be at the computer.

"Sorry…" He muttered. There was something off with his face. It was reminiscent of when he found out about Marty but it was just…different. What had the bitch said to him? He must have seen the curiosity on her face because much to her surprise, he handed her the phone.

"Really?" Mindy asked, unable to hide her shock.

"Yeah. Why not? It doesn't matter anymore…" He murmured, leaning back in his seat and staring at the ceiling. As much as Mindy wanted to read them from the beginning, her priority was what the whore had said most recently, since that was obviously what broke her partner. It took her longer than she expected to scroll up the whole message. If all of them were this long there was just no way she could physically be texting him so frequently in succession.

"Hi Dave,

Um…I don't really know what to say, so I'm just…gonna type and hope my feelings get across. It's the best I can do. I just…I'm of two minds about this whole thing. On one side, I hope you're actually reading these because that way you'll actually know how I feel. But on the other…if you've been reading my messages this entire time without responding to me even once…it just…I don't know…

That means you just read as I got more and more worried about you. When I begged you to answer me. To just let me know you were alive and okay. That's all I wanted! I almost watched you die once already! I was so scared that they found out who you were and finished you off or something. I don't see how you could put me through that. I still don't…

Anyway, that also means you read when I thought you were dead and kept messaging you, because texting you was normal and it just…made me feel better…like you were still getting my messages in Heaven or something. You just read when I told you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. How glad I was that I met you. How I wished to God I'd noticed you before that stupid rumor so I could have been with you longer. How much you inspired me. How much I wanted to dedicate my life to saving people in your memory. How much I just want you to message me back…send me a sign…anything…

It means you just read as I used every fucking swear word I knew when I saw you on TV. How pissed I was at you for not contacting me. I still think I was justified in that. You are a fucking asshole. I know I said I didn't want you to be Kick Ass anymore, which I only did because I didn't want you hurt, BTW. But if you were going to do it anyway, you could have told me. I'd worry, but I'd have tried to understand. You're going against people with knives and guns and you're scared of a 115 lb. girl armed with hairspray?

Sorry...that's not what this is supposed to be for. It's still a sore spot, I guess. But I meant it when I said I forgive you for that. There has to have been a good reason. I have to believe that. You're a good person. You wouldn't just…vanish like this without a good reason. I just…wish you would have confided in me is all. That's what a relationship is. We get pissed at each other and we work it out. We're supposed to be a team.

I just… I miss you, Dave. In the short time I've known you, you've become such a big part of my life. But as understanding and patient as I am trying to be, I'm just…tired. I'm so tired of living in a world of maybes. I'm tired of crying by myself at night because there's no one I can really talk to about it. It may be selfish of me, but I want to be happy again. And I can't see how I can do that if I'm still waiting for you.

It's not like I'm hiding. If you really wanted to see me, you could. You know I'd never turn you in or anything. I've never betrayed your secrets and I never will. But you have to be making the conscious decision to cut me out of your life. To cut everyone out of your life… And as much as it hurts me. As much as it breaks my heart. When it comes down to it, I just think it's time that I respect your wishes.

But don't misunderstand. I still love you. And a part of me always will. If you ever need me for anything, I'll be there for you. I just won't be waiting for you anymore…that way. This might come across bitchy but I mean it in all sincerity when I say that I hope you're happy. I really do. Please be safe.

Love you always,

Katie

P.S.: I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot. I should have said this to begin with but I really needed to get all of that off my chest. But Marty's awake. He's fine and cracking jokes again and everything. Just in case you are reading these, I thought you should know. It's probably better this way, anyway. End it on a happy note and all. So yeah…goodbye, Dave."

Mindy blinked as she looked at the phone. She didn't know what she'd expected to read but it wasn't that. Marty was awake. That was great, but…shit… She couldn't help it. As much as she wanted to despise Katie, she put herself in Katie's shoes and if this really was the last message she planned on sending Dave, Mindy knew she wouldn't have handled it as maturely as Katie did, nor would she have been able to articulate her feelings as well. Katie was supposed to be the villain here. Black and white. Simple. She didn't like the conflicted feelings in the pit of her stomach.

That was when she remembered that this wasn't about her, at least not at the moment. She looked at Dave, completely understanding his reaction now. It was weird. This is normally where she'd freak out. Where she'd be sure that this was the last straw and that Dave was going to leave her. But that wasn't her worry in the slightest. Just as she knew Dave would follow her out that window, she knew that Dave had already made his decision. He just had to live with it.

"Dave?" Mindy asked, sitting down next to him.

"Yeah?"

"Is it worth it?"

Dave broke off his staring contest with the ceiling and turned to face her. He took a while to answer. It was so awkward when he did that. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. You were just forced to wait until his mind sorted itself out. "Yes…" He finally answered. "…you are."

Mindy's cheeks burned, as she shifted her legs so that she was straddling him, and bent forward to kiss him. He kissed Mindy back softly, his arms enclosing around her. Once their lips separated, Dave let out a small sigh. "Just this, okay?"

Mindy nodded, understanding the statement. They weren't going to be passing third base tonight, or even first for that matter. And that was okay. She would do whatever Dave needed from her. She happy that it was her that he wanted. Everything else was just details.

The next day, machete boot camp resumed. That was fine. Dave needed the distraction. His singular focus was on becoming as good with his blades as he was with getting with his other offense. He had a feeling Mindy was taking it easy on him today, though. That or she really meant it when she said she wouldn't be tricky with trying to get him to drop the blades.

Once night fell, the two heroes were back in costume. Mindy felt that Dave wasn't even close to ready to go out with the machetes, so he had the batons again. She didn't like it, but there weren't many alternatives if she didn't want him using the blades yet. It wasn't like they were looking for trouble tonight, but it was always good to be prepared. In their profession they never knew when trouble would be looking for them.

However, they reached their destination with no trouble. Peeking through the windows, they saw their target. It was just a matter of waiting now. There weren't any complaints or even words for that matter between them until all the lights in the house went out. Scaling up the wall, they snuck into the open window.

He was sleeping. Or at the very least he'd started to drift off. He could tell something was off and turned around and when he saw the two shadows, he immediately turned the light on and jumped when he recognized the two intruders. "Kick Ass?!"

"Marty." Dave nodded. "Good to see you awake."

"Um…thanks…" His eyes kept drifting over to Mindy.

"Hit Girl." Mindy introduced herself with a nod as well.

"Look…" Dave drew the attention back to him again. "We just wanted to make sure you were alright and to say we appreciate your help in Times Square."

Marty chuckled. "Help. Interesting way of putting it. Don't think I did too much of that."

Kick Ass smiled, softly. "You were out there in the first place. Doing what we do isn't easy. And…it isn't for everyone…"

Marty nodded with comprehension. "Yeah…preaching to the converted, there. I'm done. So done. If I were a roast I'd be so burnt to a crisp that I'd double as a cannonball. "

Dave chuckled. "That's probably for the best."

Marty's eyes narrowed. "…Dave…?"

Hit Girl rolled her eyes. "I fucking told you!"

Dave tried stifled his laughter. This wasn't exactly an unexpected occurrence. "You know we can trust him."

Mindy crossed her arms. "It was the goofy ass laugh, right?"

Marty smiled. "His laugh. Your potty mouth. It's good to see you two."

"You too, dumbass." Mindy flashed a smile. "We're not staying long, though."

"No." Dave agreed. "We just…wanted to make sure you were okay. And to make sure you weren't going out there again."

Marty's eyes darkened. "No…one coma was enough."

"Yeah...I said the same thing the first time I got really fucked up…" Dave muttered.

"Trust me. I'm done. I'm all aboard the Nope Train…destination, Nopeville…in the province of Fuckthatistan."

Dave chuckled again. "First stop, Thefuckwiththatisburg?"

"Pft!" Marty rolled his eyes. "Who the fuck would want to stop there? It's full of assholes. Everyone knows North Helltothenopealina is where it's at."

"What about South Helltothenopealina?" Mindy asked, with a smirk.

Marty shook his head. "There is no South Helltothenopealina. You're confusing it with West Helltothenopealina. Learn your damn geography."

Mindy smiles and nudged Dave. "We really need to go."

Dave nodded and gave Marty a fist bump. "Stay safe, man. And, of course, if anyone asks, you didn't see us."

"Of course…" There was an edge to Marty's voice as he was reminded why he needed to 'forget' this visit. There was obviously more that he wanted to say but they were already on their way out the window so he had to choose his words wisely. "…Be safe too, guys. And avoid guys with big fucking hammers."

Dave and Mindy gave a glance at each other and chuckled. "Will do. Also, lock your fucking windows." Dave was the last one out the window before glancing back one last time. "Katie knows too." And then they were gone into the night.

(A/N: Ugh! This chapter was just a douchebag. Don't get me wrong. I'm totally happy with it, but Katie's letter alone was just a massive pain in the ass. This was also one of those chapters that wanted to be longer than it needed to be. I think it was all just better as one chapter, though. It did what I wanted it to, and Marty's part was fun to write. Anyway, the story's getting to that point. I don't think there's more than say…three or so chapters left.)