Bella sat on her own bed, hugging her knees to her chest and couldn't help but make the observation that the whole foundation of her existence had shifted and changed so intrinsically since she had last slept here. The room was exactly the same; her beloved books still adorned the small bookshelf, her antiquated computer still sat on her desk and the purple sheets her dad had bought her because "the lady at the store said girls like purple" still covered her bed; but she was different.
Edward had looked at her in surprise when she told him to give her a few hours alone after he escorted her to the front door. "Please." She had said cupping his cheek with her hand. "I need some time to process all of this." Thankfully he hadn't protested just closed his eyes and nodded bleakly in understanding and after a few words of explanation and apologies to Charlie, she shuffled up to her room, shoulders hunched with the weight of the past few days upon her.
Carlisle retracted his "diagnosis" immediately when she had asked him of her impending death stating that he was only theorizing and nothing was certain until he had more time to research; a task he would start immediately. There was no reason to be pessimistic, he had informed all of them. But wasn't there? Hadn't her own history with bad luck already proven that there indeed was a reason?
Emmett, in his typical bold fashion, had cut right to the heart of the matter. "Why are we even debating this?" he had grumbled loudly throwing his hands in the air. "Just change her already."
The idea, while it struck no one by surprise and even afforded her with some semblance of relief was met with a surprisingly emphatic protestation from Alice, who as soon as Emmett uttered the words, lapsed into a vision. When she came out of it moments later, stark horror was etched all over her face and Edward looked paler than usual as harsh words of denial tumbled unfiltered from his lips.
"I'm sorry, Bella but we can't." Alice informed her sorrowfully, her eyes as sad as Bella had ever seen them. "Your body would survive the change but your mind would not."
Bella had felt nauseated and could taste the acid burn of bile invade her throat. She knew then as she knew now, she did not want to know exactly what pictures formed in Alice's mind to cause such a reaction.
Now as she sat here, alone in her room with nothing but the posters on the walls keeping her company, Bella felt like she was precariously balanced on the edge of a precipice overlooking a dark, indefinable chasm, or maybe more accurately, standing on a fault line that kept shifting beneath her feet.
She had just started to get her equilibrium back from her impromptu trip to Volterra and now she was thrown off balance once again. She remained reticent to tell Edward how she really felt about the whole matter but the truth was she was slightly glad that she now had an explanation for what she had been going through the last months regardless of how much it pushed against the walls of reality.
Her body, not used to the extents she had been pushing it, was physically exhausted but her mind wouldn't shut off long enough to offer the solace of sleep. The only rest she had gotten recently was either when she was unconscious or under sedation.
A sound outside her window alerted her to the fact that someone was there and she sighed. She should have known that although Edward had given her a momentary reprieve he would come back sooner rather than later. But when she turned to her window where the sound originated, she discovered that it wasn't Edward at all.
The black crow had come back and now sat on her window sill watching her with the most peculiar expression in it's blue eyes. It struck her again the oddity that this creature should have eyes like that…eyes that were so familiar to her now.
Bella didn't know what prompted her to do it; maybe it was because she was overtired or maybe because after everything that happened, she realized anything was possible. The name "Damon" fell from her lips punctuated with a huge question mark. The bird flew away suddenly and Bella scrambled off of her bed to the window, internally scoffing at herself for even believing for one second that the crow could be the snarky vampire.
She jumped back, startled to meet with the figure of Damon, lounging on the tree branch outside her window like he was laying in a hammock on a lazy summer day, twirling a black feather in-between his fingers.
"Quite the perceptive one, aren't you?" He said with an upward tilt of his lips.
"You!" she indignantly accused. "I don't understand." Bella's tone now sounding more perplexed than anything else.
"One of my many talents." He shrugged. "It's so much more original than a bat, don't you think?"
"You shouldn't be here." She told him while looking for any sign that Edward might be nearby knowing that he could come back at anytime.
"I shouldn't do a great many things but it's never stopped me before."
"What are you doing here?"
He sat up letting his legs dangle from the branch. "I was just flying around the neighborhood and thought I'd pop on by." Damon was nonchalant but he was used to covering his emotions to hide the vulnerability underneath. The truth was he was worried about her since she left him with her band of vamps...since his conversation with the witch.
"She will die. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if her system wasn't' already breaking down." Bonnie's words of forewarning now a heart wrenching echo through his skull.
When Bonnie had told him that Bella had a death sentence hanging over her head...that her body and mind were slowly deteriorating due to the onslaught of memories that by right should not even be there, he panicked. Stefan had stopped him from kidnapping Bella and taking her back to Mystic Falls in all due haste...but just barely. Even now he was still fighting against the impulse to take her away but Stefan's words rang loudly in his ear. "You'll start a war!" He had hissed at him. "They will kill us and you know it."
Damon did know it. Seven against two were near impossible odds and since their skin was impenetrable, he really had no idea how to fight them. Did he even want to? He had seen the bond Bella had with her frigid-skinned boyfriend. Could he kill him, knowing how it would affect her? Damon didn't know.
"You are taking a real risk being here, you know." Bella told him.
"No pain no gain." He retorted. "So are you going to invite me in? It is kind of rude to leave me hanging out here."
Bella looked at him, confused.
Damon shook his head. "You really need to read up on your vampire lore. I can't come in until you invite me. It sucks but what can you do. I didn't come up with it."
"And why should I?" Bella asked crossing her arms over her chest.
"Because you're curious." He jumped off the tree and onto the window ledge in a crouch and leaned into the screen that separated the outside from the inside. "And because despite that you know what I am, you also know who I am."
"They say curiosity killed the cat." She replied.
"Ah, but they also say that satisfaction brought him back." He waggled his eyebrows and gave her his most devastatingly, charming look. "Please."
"Does that usually work?" Bella asked him enjoying the verbal sparring. It felt comfortable, like they had been doing this for years.
"What?"
"That." She waved her finger up and down at him, gesturing at his face. "The eyebrow thing with the puppy dog eyes."
"Uh, usually."
"Hmmm, well I don't want to be responsible for ruining your reputation. Come in but you can only stay for ten minutes tops."
Bella backed way as Damon jumped inside, landing quietly on the balls of his feet. "Okay, tell the truth…it did work, didn't it?" He waggled his brows again.
"Not even a little."
"But you let me in anyway."
"Well I doubt you would risk being here unless you had something important you wanted to tell me."
"Actually I would…but you're right. I do have something I need to tell you."
Now that he was actually in her room, he took stock of his surroundings as if looking around her room would reveal more of this Isabella to him. Damon saw the dream catcher over her small twin bed.
"Do those things actually work?" he asked pointing at the round colorful object with feathers dangling from it.
Bella thought back to all those times she had woken up in the middle of the night, mid-scream, bathed in her own cold sweat night after night after Edward left. "No" she said sadly. "Not really."
"Why keep it then?" he asked wanting to erase the sad expression from her face. "It looks like one hell of an allergen."
She turned away, evading his concerned look. "So you needed to tell me something?" she prompted him.
Damon insisted on taking his time though as he perused through her room with an inquisitive eye. On her desk he spotted a well worn copy of "Wuthering Heights" and absently thumbed through the pages, yellowed with age.
Bella saw something in the usually acerbic vampire's face that made her want to reach out to him. He looked uncharacteristically melancholy.
"Are you alright?" she asked laying her hand on his forearm trying to offer any form of comfort.
He looked up suddenly at her, caught unawares. Damon had to clear his throat before speaking to wipe away the remnants of the bittersweet memory. "So you're still a voracious reader, I see." He said ignoring her question and pointing at her small bookcase.
"Classics are my favorite but I'll read just about anything." The memory from earlier in the day came back to her. "Including love letters not meant for young eyes." Bell added softly.
Damon smiled slowly at the memory of that warm day, chasing Isabella to the trees trying to get back the steamy letter that Lucille Bowman had written him; not because it bore any sentimental value but because he didn't want Isabella to think that her brother was one of the rogues he had warned her about...even if he was. "You remember." Damon smiled brilliantly feeling a little awestruck.
Bella couldn't help but notice with amazement how completely his face altered with that smile. It was as if all vestiges of the dark, sarcastic vampire were wiped away and replaced with a younger, more innocent version of him. She was glad she was the one that put that look there. She knew instinctively it was a rare occurrence.
"This morning." Bella confirmed. "It was the first time I could actually see your face clearly in one of the memories."
So it was before she knew the truth then, he theorized. "That must have been…freaky."
"Freaky will do." Bella agreed when in reality it had been so much more. The memory had left her feeling confused and oddly bereft and if she were to be honest with herself, more than a little insane. "So…I don't mean to be rude but…"
The cell phone on her nightstand started to buzz. "Darn it." She muttered under her breath.
"I thought your cell phone was destroyed." Damon said.
"It is." Bella told him picking up the phone. "Edward gave me his until I get a replacement. He doesn't like leaving me without a way to reach him."
Sounds like a control freak to me, he thought as Bella answered the call. Damon knew by the guilty flush that had begun to spread on Bella's face that it was Edward on the other end of the phone.
"Hey" she said breathlessly into the phone and felt the heat in her cheeks as she looked at Damon as he watched her with a knowing grin.
"Did I wake you?" Edward asked hearing the sound of her voice.
"What? No. I'm still up." She fidgeted with her hair, shifting her weight from one leg to the other.
"I miss you. Is it okay if I come over now?"
"Umm, sure."
"Good cause I am already on my way. I should be there in a few minutes."
Bella looked up at Damon in wide eyed panic. He nodded in understanding. He pointed to her and then to himself and mouthed the word "tomorrow" before jumping out the window landing gracefully on his haunches.
"Great!" Bella said forcing more enthusiasm into her tone than she felt, still a little disgruntled that she didn't get the information from Damon that he had come here to give her. However, she was relieved that she wouldn't be caught with Damon Salvatore in her room. There was already one confrontation, she didn't relish going through another one.
Edward could smell the odor of the other vampire as soon as he jumped into Bella's window. Now that he was familiar with the scent and knew what it meant, he knew exactly who was here. With hackles raised as he hovered in a crouch, he scanned the room for the threat and was almost disappointed that he found none. Edward felt the bottom of his stomach drop out at Bella's absence from the room though until his gaze fell onto a piece of paper that rested on her bed. It read simply "human moment". Those two words saved him from a complete meltdown.
Edward was laying on the bed with his legs crossed waiting for her when Bella came back into the room. She was just finishing putting her hair in a ponytail when she noticed him; the expression in his amber gaze and the grim set of his mouth indicating that he was not in a good mood.
Bella smiled at him but the line of his mouth never changed. "Is there something wrong?" She asked him.
Edward sat up, his mouth opening and closing as he contemplated what to say…how to express the furor of emotions struggling to break free just at the mere thought of Damon Salvatore being here..in her room…with her. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger as he closed his eyes in frustration. It was a gesture Bella was all too familiar with.
"For goodness sakes Edward…just tell me." Bella said getting a little frustrated herself as she sat down next to him and rested her hand on his knee. "You're scaring me. Did Carlisle come up with any more theories? Is that why you so upset?"
With his eyes still closed, he shook his head. "I'm trying to…" he said as he struggled to find the right words. "…to find a way to word this without sounding like I'm being an overbearing and overprotective fiance'."
He turned to look at her with all of her peaches and cream innocence and he just wanted to take her away from here…to…somewhere…anywhere…as long as it was far, far away from the Salvatores, from Victoria, from the wolves and keep her safe with him…forever. However, that was unrealistic no matter how much he desired it.
"I know he was here, Bella. I can smell him. Maybe you didn't realize that I committed his scent to memory after I found out what he was…"
"It's not what you think. He just came here to…"
But he interrupted her. "I try Bella…I try very hard to keep you safe but it would be so much easier for me if you didn't insist on going out of your way to court danger at every turn."
His words stung and Bella felt the tears rise to her eyes before she had a chance to reign them in. She got off the bed, never turning to look at him and crossed her arms around her torso.
"I'm so sorry I'm such a burden to you." She said sarcastically. "Maybe…maybe you should just…just go then so you're not saddled by me anymore." It killed her to say the words and she didn't know if she could survive a second time if he did leave when she barely survived the first time.
Bella furiously swiped at her tears with the back of her hands. Edward sighed, hating himself in that moment for making her cry. He had been responsible for too many of her tears lately and that had to stop now. He launched off the bed as he came behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She went to pull away but he didn't let her go.
"I'm sorry." He said as he nuzzled her strawberry scented hair. "I never should have said it like that. You are not a burden…you never could be." His tone was emphatic as he implored her to believe him. "I just love you so completely…so absolutely that the thought of anything happening to you despite my efforts to protect you makes me more than a little insane and unfortunately my words have a tendency to reflect that insanity."
Bella relaxed a little in his arms at his words. "You can't wrap me up in cotton wool, Edward, and protect me from life. No matter how much you may want to."
He turned her around to face him. "I know…but these Salvatores…I can't trust them…not now…not when I know what they are."
She smiled sadly. "You know sometimes I love the fact that you're the definition of the protective boyfriend but most of the time it makes me want to hit you over the head with a heavy object."
He chuckled. "I wouldn't feel it though."
"No but it would make me feel a lot better. Honestly, Edward. Can't you trust me…my instincts…just this once?"
Edward debated internally with himself. She was fighting so hard for this…his understanding and she was right; he couldn't wrap her up in cotton wool and protect her from the world even though his instincts…his need for self-preservation was to do just that because the truth was he couldn't live without her. Protect and love his mate; besides the need to consume blood, that was what he lived to do…what he would die to do.
But Bella was fiercely independent and Edward didn't want this to become a battle of wills where there could be no winner. They both would lose. Compromise, he thought. His own history proved he was an all or nothing person, flitting from one extreme to the other in an almost manic way. Would compromise work in it's stead and could he learn to do it? For the sake of their relationship, he had to try.
Edward took her hand in his and led her back to the bed where he held her close to his chest. "Why don't you help me understand why you feel so strongly about this? Tell me about these visions and where the Salvatore's fit in."
Hope lit Bella's features. "Really?"
He nodded. "I realize I haven't been…quite fair and have made…snap judgments without fully listening to you."
Bella could tell what it cost him to say those words and loved him all the more for it. She knew compromise did not come easy for Edward especially when he thought her safety was at stake so she told him.
She told him of when the visions and the memories started, the details she remembered and the pain that came with them. She told him when the voices and the faces took on recognizable forms and the feeling of an undeniable bond she felt with the two brothers and how they felt it as well. She told him about the witch who might have cast the spell in the past and her descendant that was researching the claims now.
He soothed her hair while she spoke and listened intently until her voice started to slur and her eyes fought to stay open and she finally drifted to sleep in mid sentence.
Edward smiled softly down at her as he traced the line of her partially opened lips and kissed her brow.
"Sleep now, my love." He whispered, kissing her brow while his quick mind digested what she had told him.
Could he deny that what she said was possibly the truth? It sounded wholly unbelievable but who was he to say it wasn't possible? The existence of vampires and werewolves were considered to be myth and folklore now converted into big budget Hollywood movies and most of the mass populous completely ignorant to the fact that they were real. So who was he to say that what Bella believed couldn't be real either? The fact that remained was that she did believe it and more importantly so did the Salvatores. Edward still remained cautious and wary of the Salvatore brothers' true motives and he would keep a watchful eye on them but Edward could do no less than stand by her, to protect her if need be as they uncovered the truth together.