Here You are

by laksanabayushiryuu

Another future fic. "See you," Kuroko Tetsuya whispered with a sad smile on his face as the train door slowly slid close. Wait. What? Did he just say goodbye? Akashi Seijuurou may found the answer twelve years later.

21. Chapter 21

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Here You are :: chapter 21

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Previously...

"Two days later, your father sent his secretary to give Kuroko some proofs what his father's had been doing so far. Of course, Kuroko did not believe it even though the evidence was very convincing. Kuroko said he would never break up with you no matter what."

Akashi felt a rush of warmth washed his chest. He could not help but show a small smile. A part of his heart was proud of Kuroko's brave act. "I see… What happened next?"

"Your father did not give up," Midorima continued, "He tried to threaten Kuroko. However, it was not your father who finally made Kuroko agree to break up with you."

Kagami growled, "Then the things went very, very dirty."

.

Now…

Akashi shifted his gaze from Midorima to Kagami. He had been taken aback by Midorima's information. If it had not been his father's doing…then who? And when Kagami had mentioned the things had gone dirty, he had grasped a slight clue. "He was blackmailed?" Akashi asked and nobody answered the question. Takao looked away while Kise dropped his eyes. Midorima's expression was calm but his back was tensed. Kagami looked like as if he was ready to tear his own hair. Akashi inhaled, he refused to look angry. No, Akashi was furious. His father had meddled that far into his life!

"First of all…" Surprisingly, it was Kise who spoke after a long, uncomfortable silence. "You need to know we're not supposed to tell you this. So, could you keep it as…secret?"

Akashi nodded.

Kise glanced at Kagami who gestured him to continue. Takao unconsciously squeezed Midorima's hand under the table. "You aware that Kurokocchi was molested by his father, right?" said Kise, followed by a low growl coming from Kagami.

Akash nodded again—he had had a hard time to calm himself down when Kiyoshi had said about the sexual harassment. But, again, he did not know how far Kuroko's father had touched his own son because Kiyoshi had only mentioned the subject briefly.

"That bastard raped his own son," Kagami hissed, "to satisfy his kinky, sick sexual obsession. He would tie Kuroko's hands and come…" He almost choked. "…inside him many times."

"He would take pictures of Kurokocchi's body on bed. He kept those hidden on computer for…collection." Kise gulped. He had seen the pictures before and for the first time in his life he had wanted to kill someone so bad. "Unfortunately, someone had managed to get access into those pictures and…" The blond model stopped, looking hesitated. Midorima mouthed 'go on' at him. "Well, uh…somehow the pictures landed on your father's secretary. Several days later, he met Kurokocchi and showed him the pictures. He said if Kurokocchi did not break up with you, those pictures would be sent to Kuroko's father's office. We found out some years ago that apparently he was under your grandfather's orde—"

"Stop." Akashi cut him off.

Kise flinched. "Akashicchi…"

"Basically you are telling me that my family has ruined my relationship with Tetsuya," Akashi said.

Kagami snorted. "Your family ruined Kuroko's life, Akashi. Your dear grandfather sent the fucking pictures to Kuroko's house." If they had not been at Kuroko's place, Kagami would have screamed out of frustration. "Your father's secretary put the envelope into Kuroko's mailbox himself. And you know what? Your grandfather used the evidence of sexual harassment to blackmail Kuroko! When Kuroko was desperate to get away from that bastard!"

"Kagami, lower your voice," reminded Takao.

Akashi did not say anything again. He stared at a small space between Midorima and Takao who were sitting in front of him. He tried to process all the information. His father and grandfather—his family. The secretary. Phone call. Pictures. Sexual harassment. His Tetsuya had been forced to have intercourse by a man who… Akashi clenched his fists. Kuroko had been raped by his father—and he had not noticed anything. Akashi struggled to remember every detail of Kuroko's unusual behavior during the time they had been together. Strangely, he could not remember.

He was too shocked.

"It wasn't only you, Akashi," Midorima spoke up as if he had read Akashi's thoughts, "We did not notice too. Kuroko hid it really good. Before us, only Kiyoshi-san knew about this secret. Even when we finally knew Kuroko's whereabouts and his condition, Kiyoshi-san did not say anything. We only found out after Aomine stumbled into the case where Kuroko's father was involved. He was still lower-rank officer—around four years ago—when he began helping some detectives to chase a suspect of money laundering. A very typical scheme, though. What no one had expected was the suspect had a connection with Kuroko's father."

"And the case's related to Tetsuya's father's disappearance?" Akashi asked.

"More or less, although... The reason why that man run away is because he felt threatened by your grandfather," said Midorima, "Apparently, your grandfather thought Kuroko would stop seeing you after he received the pictures. The plan, however, went too far."

Akashi unconsciously held his breath. "Tetsuya's father found out the envelope?"

Midorima nodded. "Yes, he found the envelope several days after Kuroko broke up with you. Kuroko's mother wasn't at home that time because she was visiting some friends in Yokohama—I don't want to call it lucky. Tetsuya's father raged like a mad. He blamed Kuroko and yelled at him, saying it was Kuroko who sent the picture. Of course, his father had no idea who had sent the envelope. Your grandfather's act, I believe, was only adding oil to the fire."

"That bastard left the very next day," Kagami added. His voice was venomous. "By the time Kuroko's mother came home, she found Kuroko crying in his bedroom. Kuroko told her that the man had left. She did not believe in the beginning but when the man did not return for three days—could not reach his phone either—she finally accepted the reality. However, Kuroko had no idea that his father was involved in fraud and money laundering. He thought his father 'only' ran away because he was afraid people would find out about the sexual harassment."

"We finally knew about the criminal activities after Aomine had been ordered to find some men who were on the list provided by the criminal he had caught previously. They got Kuroko's father's name on it. Aomine, of course, reluctantly called Kiyoshi-san—after he had failed to trace the man's whereabouts," Midorima explained, "Kiyoshi-san asked Aomine not to tell a word to Kuroko about the case."

"So, Kiyoshi-san knew already?" Akashi asked.

"Yes, he gathered some information he received from Hyuuga-san whose father worked in financial sector. Kiyoshi-san's always been sharp, you see," answered Kise. He glanced at Takao who strangely was very quiet. "But, again, in the end Kuroko found out about the case."

"How?"

Kise sighed. "Aomine was being Ahomine. He told Kurokocchi, of course. He said Kurokocchi deserved to know the truth. After all, the man was still Kurokocchi's father. Ahomine did not know about the sexual assault yet and…"

.

"…and I was still an idealistic cop. I did not think too much on the consequence. I thought it was fair to tell Tetsu that his father was a wanted man."

Nijimura looked at the dark-skinned man who currently occupied his favorite armchair.

"Honestly, Senpai," Aomine said, "When you called me this afternoon, I was not that surprised. Satsuki told me about Akashi going to Hiroshima, ya know. I had a feeling Akashi would try to find information—again, and this time he would do anything for it. He won't let Tetsu go easily."

"You made it sound so simple," Nijimura replied then Aomine rolled his eyes.

They had been talking for a while now. After an awkward dinner, Nijimura and Aomine had ended up reminiscing the good old days in living room. No one had mentioned the reason why Aomine was there. When the clock had showed nine thirty, Nijimura had grown restless. He had been ready to corner Aomine. Sakurai had cast a questioning look at his boyfriend, and without word decided to hit the bed earlier. Now, Nijimura and Aomine were already on their fourth can of beer—both men had high alcohol tolerance. During their third can, Aomine had begun telling Nijimura about Kuroko. He had been really careful—Nijimura noticed—not to mention anything too personal or sensitive. Nijimura could not help but feel sorry for his junior even though he knew it would not help Kuroko at all.

"And then, what happened?" the lawyer asked, "After Kuroko realized that his father was a criminal."

Aomine put down his beer on coffee table, sighing, "He…laughed."

Nijimura blinked.

"He laughed," Aomine repeated, looking away. "Then he screamed. He was angry…at me. At people. You should have not come, he yelled. You should have not told me, he cried. During that time, Tetsu accidentally blurted out about the sexual harassment. Fortunately, Kiyoshi-san was there else… I don't know, Senpai. I was ashamed of myself even though Kiyoshi-san convinced it wasn't my fault because I did not know anything."

"He was mad because people only cared about the fraud and money laundering, not the fact that he had been sexually harassed by his own father and blackmailed by his…ex-boyfriend's grandfather." Nijimura nodded. He suddenly found a big lump stuck on his throat. He wanted to choke.

Aomine sighed again then glanced at the brown enveloped lying on coffee table. "What are you going to do with that?" He asked.

Nijimura shrugged.

"You haven't contacted Akashi, right?"

"I haven't and I won't."

Aomine raised an eyebrow.

"Not until Kuroko agree to press a charge for sexual assault."

This time, Aomine looked at him blankly. "There's no need to."

The black-haired man frowned right away. "Why?"

"The man's dead, killed by random thugs in Yamagata. Pathetic end, period."

"Oh."

Aomine nodded. Nijimura did not speak any further. The two of them sank on their seat, cradling the empty beer can. The apartment was too quiet and Nijimura felt really dreadful. Today was one of the worst days he had ever had. The most bizzare one, and perhaps the saddest one. "Can I ask you something, Senpai?" Aomine broke the silence.

Nijimura nodded. "What is it?"

"Why did you contact and inform me about the photographs? You could keep it secret, ya see. You could have lied to Akashi too."

The black haired man stared at his junior. He had never contacted Aomine for the last eight years. He knew Aomine worked in law enforcement from Sakurai since his boyfriend sometimes met the Touou alumni for drink at least twice a year. Nijimura then wondered why the hell he had gone through trouble to acquire Aomine's phone number—luckily he had acquaintances in Tokyo MPD. Nijimura opened his mouth but abruptly shut it tight. He scratched his nape and tilted his head. "You got me lost, Aomine," he replied and laughed slightly.

Aomine patiently waited for the real answer.

"It feels wrong." Nijimura spoke, "Those pictures...should have not been in my possession. I don't know much about Kuroko and... When I saw the pictures, I felt like I've crossed the line. I didn't want to inform Seijuurou since I had no idea what's happening to Kuroko..." He could not help but trail off.

"And you realized that it could be a huge scandal," Aomine added deliberately, "The head of Akashi Family blackmailed his grandson's boyfriend with an evidence of sexual assault where he supposed to report it to the authority instead. And you need someone's opinion. Someone who works in law enforcement you can trust. In conclusion, contacting me was the only option." Aomine groaned. "Great, I didn't join the police for this..."

"Akashi Family is flawless," Nijimura said, "in the eye of public, of course. They won't let any scandal ruin their reputation."

Aomine snorted. "They could afford the best lawyer in Japan and pay the media."

"True, though."

They went silent.

"So fuckin' complicated." Aomine let an exasperated sigh. "High school seems to be a very nice fairy tale compared to this shit, eh?"

"I refuse to describe my high school as Disney's Cinderella." Nijimura scowled.

Aomine threw back his head and laughed. "I think we need stronger drink than this crappy beer."

They threw empty cans and bottles to trash bin, then Nijimura quickly scribbled down a note for Sakurai just in case the man woke up and found Nijimura was nowhere to sight. Nijimura suggested a local bar three blocks away from the apartment. Aomine said he did not care about the choice of place as long as it had good cocktail. The place was crowded; a very typical Friday night. Tonight's bartender was a man in his thirties, serving drinks in swift move and told Aomine and Nijimura a lot about a developer trying to buy a small shopping district nearby. He said they wanted to make modern shopping mall. Nijimura listened to him and inserted small comment here and there, while Aomine was obviously bored until he decided to join some men for darts. Both men had first tequila shot after twenty minutes, followed by vodka ones and ended up sipping scotch silently as music played on the background.

Nijimura arrived in his apartment at two in the morning. He felt like a shit but he did not mind. He was allowed to drink like a college student once in a while, right? He kicked his shoes off in the entrance and trudged down the small hallway led to bedroom. The black haired man open the door then found his boyfriend was sleeping soundly. Nijimura stared at Sakurai like he was the most amazing person he's ever seen. He felt like the luckiest man in this planet. He had good career, nice home, and now a perfect boyfriend who would always be by his side no matter what. Nijimura shook his head; alcohol turned him into sappy man. Nijimura stripped down until he only wore a pair of boxer then slipped under the cover. Sakurai shifted a little but did not wake up. Nijimura smiled. He stroked Sakurai's hair until sleep claimed him blissfully.

By the next morning, he had horrible headache and a text message from Akashi.

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"Are you waiting for a call?"

Kiyoshi's voice came from the doorway. Akashi looked up from his phone and looked over his shoulder to see Kiyoshi leaning on door frame. It was almost five in the afternoon and the breeze was becoming chilly. The sliding door was opened wide, allowing them to see the backyard where Sangou was sitting on the ground next to vegetable patch. Kise and Takao were sitting at porch. Both men were discussing random stuffs and occasionally took a sip on their instant matcha latte—which tasted horrible but the two had been too lazy to buy the canned one—they had found after rummaging through kitchen cabinet. Akashi had heard them talking about Kise's plan to take another contract with major fashion line and Takao's complain on how the hospital made his Shin-chan work too hard. Midorima and Kagami had been out for a while now. And, Kuroko... Akashi had not seen Kuroko since noon. The smaller man apparently refused to step out of his room.

Akashi wondered if Kiyoshi was used to this kind of situation. It was very frustrating and demanding. How Kiyoshi could still put a polite smile after facing Kuroko's breakdown. "Are you always like this?" Akashi blurted out.

"Excuse me?" Kiyoshi asked back. He walked further to living room then sat on couch.

Instead of saying 'this damn thoughtful', Akashi cleared his throat. "I notice you can always manage to stay sa—I mean, calm through Tetsuya's…issue."

"Aah… Are you asking why I haven't gone insane yet?" Kiyoshi nodded.

"Yes."

"I almost gave up," Kiyoshi said and smiled when Akashi's eyes widened slightly, "several times."

Well, that was unexpected, Akashi thought. "I see."

"These past ten years… It has never been easy. When Kuroko was admitted to clinic, I felt helpless. I could not do anything for him. If the doctors and nurses failed, how could I—a college student who had no major life problem—pull Kuroko from his heavy depression? I was clueless, Akashi-kun. Everybody was." He glanced at Takao and Kise who had moved from their spot at porch to backyard, playing fetch with Sangou. "I'm really grateful Kuroko has great friends."

Ten years, Akashi mused. In a decade, so many things had happened. People had changed. Sometimes they would leave someone behind—intentionally or unintentionally—but they also would meet new people. Life was like that. It flowed like a river, trying to find its end. Trying to find a place to be called home... This old house had been Kuroko's home. It witnessed happiness, sadness, and everything its owner had been through. Akashi could not help but picture himself as part of Kuroko's life here, and strangely it came in blur. He felt out of place, that his presence here was wrong. Had he just doubted his reckless decision to come to Hiroshima?

"So." Again, Kiyoshi's voice brought Akashi's wandering mind back. "You haven't answered my first question."

Akashi sighed. "Yes, I'm waiting for a call from Nijimura-senpai."

Kiyoshi had heard the ex-Teikou captain's name before, of course. Midorima had also mentioned that Nijimura worked at same firm with Akashi. "Work related?" Kiyoshi asked casually.

"I asked him to go see my father's ex-secretary," answered Akashi. His voice held no hesitation. Without waiting for any comment from Kiyoshi, Akashi continued. "I had my suspicion when Tetsuya said 'Akashi-san'. I thought he was calling my name but he used to call me 'Akashi-kun' or 'Seijuurou-kun'." If Kagami had been here, Akashi was pretty sure the man would have sneered and called him 'smartass'. "Therefore, I thought that the ex-secretary would know something since my father always relied on him—too much, I have to admit." He had expected Kiyoshi to throw him a disapproving glare but the man in fact only shrugged a little. The brunet was so calm that it got on Akashi's nerve.

"He might have found out something, then." Kiyoshi said, "Listen, Akashi-kun. Kuroko is always frightened by the fact he could not keep his secret forever. Yes, Kuroko has understood that since long time ago but he… I think it's just hard for him. I don't mean to simplify everything but believe me, Akashi-kun, you and Kuroko only need to talk more. Now, now don't give me that face." He smiled as Akashi's face formed a frown. "I don't know whether he still has the same feeling toward you like a decade ago. Well, a decade is a long time, right? But I know he likes you, Akashi-kun."

"Have you not seen him? He had panic attack every time I talked to him!" Akashi said bitterly—much to his own surprise.

"He does want to talk to you, Akashi-kun. He's only afraid you'd hate him."

Akashi tensed. "Why? Because he left me? Yes, I hate the fact that he left without any explanation. He should have told me and I…" He trailed off. And he…what? He would have understood? He would have encouraged Kuroko to leave Tokyo after high school graduation so they could have lived together? Away from family? It sounded so utopian. They had been only students back then. As smart as he had been as a student and person, Akashi too had been only a minor. It was not some ridiculous movie where the protagonist had courage to ask his lover to elope. Nor it was the world when you could make money in a snap of fingers. Kuroko had certainly learned it in extremely hard way. Akashi realized he was in no position to judge.

"To be honest, at first I was quite reluctant to have you here. I couldn't risk Kuroko having another breakdown." He paused. "But, seeing Kuroko was able to carry small conversation with you...well, I think we're doing right."

"You forgot the breakdown part," Akashi retorted.

"One step at a time, Akashi-kun," said Kiyoshi, smiling, "One step at a time..."

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Midorima could stand Takao's moping and sulking. At least he could cheer up or distract his boyfriend by taking him for romantic dinner or having a-week-worth sex. However, this! This moping Kagami Taiga was a nightmare! The man had not spoken any word for the last two hours. Midorima swore he would literally kick Kagami's ass if the man didn't stop pouring negative aura out in the next ten minutes. The doctor made a mental note to buy lucky charm at a shire before they went back to Kuroko's place. He needed to be extra careful next time and picked better quality lucky charm on the day the horoscope said Cancer would have a less luck—like today.

Meanwhile, Kagami walked in silence. He tried to focus on the scenery before his eyes. Kagamiyama Park had never been this full before. The joy giggles of children playing on swing set sounded so distant. Kagami sighed. He could not clear his mind. He kept thinking about the conversation they had had with Akashi—repeating it over and over again. Then, he sighed.

"Stop sighing!" Midorima snapped.

Kagami jumped out of surprise. "Dude, what the hell!" He had completely forgotten that he was still with the green haired man. Actually, Midorima was the one who had insisted to get out for a while. He remembered Kise's and Takao's comment about how Kagami's aura would ruin their afternoon.

"Stop sulking like a teenage boy," said Midorima, "You are almost thirty, for god's sake. And don't tell me you're feeling guilty because you just told Akashi Kuroko's so-called well-hidden secret. You knew we couldn't keep him in the dark forever."

"I don't know, man. It's just..." Kagami trailed off.

Midorima arched an eyebrow. "Just what?"

"I just don't like him here."

"Who?"

"Dammit, Midorima! I don't like Akashi here, alright?!" Kagami barked but Midorima only gave him a shrug. "What?"

Midorima rolled his eyes. "Kazunari's right. You are so dense."

"What did Takao say?"

"Bakagami." Midorima snorted, "You don't have to wait that long."

"W-what?" Kagami blinked.

Midorima smiled smugly. Teasing Kagami was sometimes far more interesting than burying himself into his favorite medical journal. Kagami Taiga was like an open book—so easy to read.

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It was already dark outside. Kiyoshi was composing an e-mail on his laptop when he caught Kuroko entering living room from the corner of his eye. The smaller man looked tired, weary, and obviously sleep-deprived. He greeted Kiyoshi in small, timid voice then stared at the floor. Kiyoshi smiled slightly, scooted a little and patted an empty space on the couch, gesturing Kuroko to sit. Kuroko slowly sat down. He stared at the laptop screen, asking, "What are you writing?"

"Just a confirmation for my attendance in national seminar," replied the brunet.

Kuroko vaguely remembered Kiyoshi had told him about seminar in Shikoku. "Is it next week?"

"Yes." Kiyoshi nodded as he pressed 'sent'. "You want to come with me? You've never been to Shikoku. It's a very nice place."

Kuroko kept staring at the screen. "I don't know." He watched Kiyoshi closed the laptop and put it on coffee table. Kuroko's light blue eyes gradually stared at Kiyoshi's brown ones. "You are right, Kiyoshi-san. I can't…quit my job that easily. I'm so sorry for telling you nonsense. I guess I was… I was just scared." He grasped Kiyoshi's sleeve and pressed his forehead into the older man's arm. "I'm sorry…" Kuroko whispered.

Kiyoshi did not say anything. He placed his left arm on Kuroko's shoulder and pulled him closer until Kuroko's head rested on his left shoulder. The warmth was very familiar and comforting. Kuroko let a long sigh. A while later, Kiyoshi said, "The piano looks lonely." He pointed at the music instrument.

"Does she?" Kuroko's lips curled into small smile. His right cheek pressed into Kiyoshi's shoulder blade.

"I thought she was a 'he'?" Kiyoshi wrinkled his eyebrows.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kiyoshi-san. The piano's name is 'Tetsuko'."

Kiyoshi commented, "What a lame name."

"You named her." Kuroko replied, slightly amused.

"No wonder…" Kiyoshi grinned then looked down at Kuroko. "Play for me?"

"What's with sudden request?"

Kiyoshi hummed. "Just humor me."

Kuroko pulled his lips into thin line and finally moved from the couch. He opened the fallboard. His fingers traced the cold surface of its keys. Playing piano always eased his mind. In the past, when his mother had been alive, Kuroko had used to play for her every day. His mother had loved classic. Kuroko used the piano as a way to escape from sadness. Then, after Kiyoshi had come to his life, Kuroko had learned how to use the piano to make people happy.

As Kuroko pressed the first key, Kiyoshi asked, "Would you sing too?"

Kuroko looked over his shoulder with softened expression.

"Maybe," Kuroko began to sing. "You don't have to smile so sad. Laugh when you're feeling bad. I promise I won't."

Sango who had been sitting at porch hurriedly joined Kiyoshi and Kuroko in living room. The dog howled along, wagging his tail in process. Kiyoshi laughed; he wondered if Sango had a good sense of music like his owner.

"Chase you… You don't have to dance so blue. You don't have to say I do…" Kuroko smiled as Sangou began approaching the piano with great enthusiasm. "When baby you don't."

Kise half-ran to the living room. There was no way he missed Kuroko's performance. Takao followed him behind then shared a warm smile with Kiyoshi. "Oooh, I know this song!" The blond model bounced in excitement. "Just tell me the one thing you never told me." Kise sang. "Then let go of me. Hell just throw me!"

"What a tone-deaf."

"Shin-chan!" Takao grinned as he found his boyfriend and Kagami standing at doorway. Each man held a plastic bag full of drinks and snacks. He snatched the one on Midorima's hand. "Oooh, look at that! You didn't forget my favorite drink!"

"Watch out, Midorima. Your boyfriend is a lousy drunk," said Kagami. He put the plastic bag on couch and frowned. "I don't know this song."

"Geez, Kagamicchi! It's from one of my favorite movies!" Kise waved his hands dramatically. "You better stop watching basketball game only. Your head will turn into basketball one day!"

"Oi!"

Kuroko smiled at his friends' antics. At least, at this moment, he would forget anything. He would drown himself into music and laughter. He continued to sing, "If you are taking me home, tell me if I'm back on my own. Giving back a heart that's on loan." He saw Kiyoshi winking at him. "Just tell me if you wanna go home."

Between Kise's—failed—singing voice and Sangou's howl, Kuroko missed a figure leaning on the wall next to sliding door.

Akashi had been surprised when he saw how expressive Kuroko was. The man was singing and smiling with his friends. Sometimes he would slip into small laugh. Akashi stared at people in front of him. He stared at Kuroko. He stared at a life that he did not belong to.

He silently left the room and went back to hotel.

As Akashi lied on bed that night, Kuroko's soft voice singing the song refused to leave his mind. It echoed inside his ears as if the voice was deliberately making a permanent place there. Akashi closed his eyes, allowing the voice sang him a lullaby which sounded more like a goodbye.

.

To: Nijimura Shuuzou

Subject: none

Text: I'll be back in Tokyo by Saturday's afternoon

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tbc

*Kuroko was singing Tell Me If You Wanna Go Home, an original soundtrack from Begin Again; sung by Keira Knightley