Author's Note: "Keşke" means "I wish/if only" or "I'd give anything"!
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What a last few days we've had... the camping, dip and dash in the sea and hugging in the hammock! I've made it very clear to Polen that I'm done with her especially after she denigrates Sanem because of her mahalle!
..
I'm processing the campaign videos, or I should be, but I'm focused on the clips I have of Sanem and her woman-child antics...its so hilarious to watch her reactions and expressions! When she's not slaying me with her essence... my tummy hurts from laughing too much!
Then she even made kofta's for me! Gosh... they're terrible, really terrible... but I don't want to break her heart... all I could see was her love and enthusiasm!
Emre and I are having a party at the house for the finish of the campaign... everyone needs a break and we need to celebrate our successes! The party is on, it's late and everyone has been mingling... but there's no sign of Sanem or Ceycey.
..
What's this new confusion? Ah Guliz Ah... what did you tell her? She was on her way when she learnt the rumor that Polen's moving in with me! She detoured and went to help Ceycey. The self-respecting and prideful woman that she is... she chose not to come to the party!
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I need, must, have to find her, now... and clear this up! I can't live in a world where I know she wants me and she's left believing, even for a moment, that I don't want her! THAT will never ever be... that can't be, I need to find her now!
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She's at the opera house where we first met and became each others', sight unseen, swapping souls and fell in love at first kiss! How apropos... I can't wait to see her, tell her, kiss her... make her mine and tell her I'm hers!
Since the day I met her, Sanem has become the center of my world... existentially and figuratively! I fall deeply and more desperately in love with her everyday... her incredible beauty, raw brilliance, extremely kind heart, angel-like innocence, incurable sweetness... I want her to be all mine!
I don't have a moment to lose, my mind is singular... I'm going to lay my heart and soul at her feet... and wait for the verdict!
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My phone pings with a new text message : "Keşke..." My heart stops at the simply yet powerful message... and starts again at double speed! She means "if only" but to me that's a hint for "I'd give you anything, everything, all of me, forever!"
...
Time to get the penguin suit, and she said she remembered only seeing my shoes, so shoes, pronto! I put on my favorite Albatross necklace, which will be symbolic of her love forthwith. I'm ready... ready to claim my love, to be loved, unconditionally, irrevocably and wholly... all of me for all of her!
I get in the car and the 20 minutes to get to her seems like a lifetime! I realize, for the first time in my life, I don't have a plan, no words to express myself... this is all very new to me! Her love, my love for her, is like a kaleidoscope of colors... and my spirit has awakened since I met her. The car ride to her feels like a metaphorical journey from being unattached and aloof to the opposite end of the spectrum - molded, madly, deeply and crazy in love and can't, and don't, want to live without her!
I'm not sure what to tell her... I'm the Albatross? What if she's dubious...! Do I have to prove to her? What if she gets mad at me and thinks I've been toying with her! What if she runs away? Will I be able to stop her today? What can I say to her to make her mine?
Oh but wait a minute... the angel has given me her words... and I could ask her what "if only" meant, did it mean "I wish..."?!
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In my excitement, I literally bang the door down to the place. It takes a few minutes but Ceycey opens the door and he's shocked to see me! I tell him I have no time for explanations and ask him where Sanem was in the building. He tells me that she just went upstairs to the private boxes! Wow... I couldn't have planned it better myself. I ask him to get to the light room and give him clear instructions on what to do next. "Don't mess this up man... I'll owe you one!" I tell him; he's bewildered and confused but promises to come through for me!
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My heart is beating really fast yet I feel like I'm soaring... I walk up the stairs to see her! An angel in white is standing there, not knowing that I'm coming to see her, become hers, ask her to be mine!
She's a bit startled when the lights go out and the red mood lighting comes on. She looks sensational, wearing a white almost bridal gown, her hair up in a bun, seductive, sultry and utterly sexy... she takes my breath away as I approach her! In that moment I register that to have her be mine would be the greatest honor of my life!
She spots me walking towards her and is surprised and spellbound... and I gather all my courage as I near her!
C: "I wish, You said. I can't wait to know more... "
...she blushes...
S: "I wish..." she says as she looks away from my eyes and instinctively at my feet!
Her lips part in absolute surprise as she gains cognizance and realization that we're in the moment that defined and altered our lives, forever! I smile my "Yes, it's me sweetheart, you know me" smile and wait for her acquiescence!
Her expression is the life and death me, her intent very clear, she wants to be kissed, more specifically, wants me to kiss her!And with our second kiss, she owns me body, mind, heart, spirit, and soul!
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Author's Note: This episode made me cry... unladylike joyous tears to be exact! I loved it so much... I remain unsure if this piece does it justice!
Time to kiss your love! Do it... now, Yaay!
It's amazing that Can Divit calls his Dad right after to share the news that he's found "the one"! So touching!
That Second kiss!
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xoxo, DR