disclaimer
I, Kagura Fuujinnomai do not own Bankotsu, Jakotsu, or any of the other characters associated with the Inuyasha series.
(Although I wish I did own those adorable, wonderful, super kawaii, sexy little sons of...ahem! anyways)
I get nothing from writing my Fanfics.
I am simply a fangirl who wishes to share her passion with the rest of the world.
- sincerely,

Kagura Fuujinnomai

Not For All The World

(AN. Woot! 100,000 words! Pat yourself on the back, my friend! You have seriously read 100k words of this story! That's quite an impressive achievement! Needless to say, I'm pretty amazed by you! So I'd like to take this moment to pat you on the back and say OMG THANKS!

I hope you are one of those generous readers that has blessed me with a review or two.
If not, there's not time like the present, right? lol!

Either way, I hope that you will enjoy this newest chapter.

'Til we meet again!)


Chapter Twenty-One: Strawberry Solace.


"Raiyuki-Sama has been in there since the crack of dawn…"
"He looks pissed."
"He always looks pissed."
"That man is just plain scary."
"I had to forward a call to him earlier and he totally bitched at me!"
"Maybe he got in a fight with his wife?"
"Maybe the Ishida deal fell through?"

The young red-headed secretary elbowed her way through the group of her gossiping coworkers; annoyed. "Why are you guys all standing around here instead of doing your jobs?!"

"But Tekkei-San, Raiyuki-Sama is acting so weird."
"Yeah it's so interesting…"
"Don't go in there Tekkei-Chan! He's dangerous!"

"I have to," she scoffed, "I'm his secretary stupid! And ten o' clock means it's time for Raiyuki-Sama's coffee and donuts, so you guys get out of the way so I can deliver."

"Tekkei-san, when you're done come and tell us what's up!"
"Yeah Tekkei, share the info on Raiyuki!"
"Can I get some coffee too?"

"No!" She shoved the boys out of her way, straightening out her skirt before knocking on the door. "Raiyuki-sama, it's me!"

She let herself in and Hiten lifted his head to look at her for a moment before slamming it back down onto his desk. "Good morning Raiyuki-sama," She greeted, and Hiten scoffed at the thought of how wrong she was. "Fuck my life…" was all he had to offer.

"Raiyuki…" Tekkei sighed, noticing the now broken telephone receiver in his hand. "You broke the phone?"

"I guess…"

"How?"
He didn't answer, but tossed the broken receiver aside.
"Well, do you need me to get in contact with someone for you?" Tekkei asked, feeling a bit sorry for the telephone as she placed the coffee onto his desk. Hiten thought about this for a moment but ultimately decided against it and shook his head. "Su-Chan hung up on me…"

"Oh, so it's your wife you're looking for? Can I help?" She offered, unplugging and throwing away the now ruined telephone. "I'll just call her for you."
"Su-Chan hates telephones," he grumbled, opening the box of donuts she'd brought.

"Well should I buy you a new phone anyway?"

"No," he replied, "but if you want you can go out and buy me a gun…"
"A gun?" Her green eyes narrowed. "So you can shoot yourself?"
"Yes."
"You're such a drama king," she sighed. "I hope you didn't really lose the Ishida deal."
"I didn't," her boss grumbled, taking another bite of his donut. "But I did manage to get into two fights in one day."

"Ooh! Exciting! Were they big, big fights?"

"Yeah… Su-Chan's best friend drives me fucking crazy."

"Let me guess, you made two girls cry in one day? Smooth move, Raiyuki-Sama!"

"Fuck you."

She clasped her hands together, suddenly sounding excited.
"I can help you with girl troubles any day! Let's start with the wife…
Did you try buying her flowers?" "Allergic."
"Chocolates?" "-hates 'em"
"Diamonds?" "Hates those too."

"Well damn," Tekkei smiled, "She sounds just like you. Hates everything…"
"Yep," Hiten took a sip of his coffee, sighing in defeat. "We're awful together. Even our astrological signs are a horrible match; Taurus and Scorpio."

"Eww…." Tekkei mumbled, "You know what they say. Bad astrology means only two things you can do together."

"Fight and fuck."

"Hahaha!" Tekkei nearly fell off the desk for laughing so hard, "Can't believe you knew that!"

"I hate women…"

"No, no wait, Raiyuki-sama, cuz I know just what you should do." She forced herself to calm down in order to share some advice, "First you call the best friend and give her a good old fashioned heart-to-heart apology. But then you gotta talk to the wife face to face, ne? That's like the classic wife rule. Anyway, give her an apology too, followed by hot make-up sex and then hold her close and whisper 'I love you' all night long."

"Or…" Hiten rolled his eyes. Tekkei already knew he'd never do something that sappy.
"You can go get me that god damn gun like I said!"

"Drama king." She sighed, "seriously at least try the whispering part. Girls love that!"
Her boss grumped, "Tekkei, you're useless. Don't you have papers to file or data to backup or whatever?"

"Oh, come off it. We both know you're just trying to worm your way out of talking about your cute little wife." She smiled wickedly, crossing her legs as she sat back on the desk.
"You'll be grumpy all day, worried about your sweet wittle Su-Chan, won't you?"

"No."

"Hey Raiyuki, I bet your Su-Chan has red hair…"

"Why?"

"Because I'm the only one you ever talk to. Hundreds of people work in this building but for some reason you only talk to me. Coincidentally I am also the only one with long red hair…"

"So?"

"Well there's so much gossip going around. A little birdie told me that you only hire young pale secretaries with long red hair and big green eyes… Now I wonder why that is…"

Hiten started, nearly choking on his coffee. "Because," he finally replied, "I am a misogynistic, power-hungry, faggot-ass douche bag."

"Wow, I guess you've heard all the rumors already," she sighed, looking disappointed, "I guess I will get back to work then," She stood, snatching up his blackberry before returning to her own office which was connected to his. "Don't worry, I'll just use your cell to call that friend for you. I'll let it ring all day if I have to."

The moment she left the room Hiten pulled his laptop open and booted it up. Her nosy prying had reminded him of something he'd meant to do for Su-Chan.

'I want to be your lover.' That was the only clue Suzaku had left for him.

"Lover…"

Hiten mumbled the word as he typed it into an online dictionary, but the definition only made his eyebrows raise. "Noun: A sexual partner." Well that was useless. 'What the fuck, Suzaku? Why would you want to be something you already are?' He scrolled through some different dictionaries as well, paying special attention to synonyms, but each word already looked to be a plausible description for Suzaku.
'Synonym: Sweetheart: a person who is very much loved by another, particularly in youth.'

"Very much loved. Loved..."
'hold her close and whisper 'I love you' all night long.'

Now that he thought about it, Hiten vaguely recalled Jakotsu saying something like that too.

'if you'd stop acting like such a douchebag and just show him some affection, maybe he wouldn't want to sleep with anyone else!'

Maybe some of this advice was worth something after all…

Even still, Hiten shut off the computer and shoved it aside, looking around quickly to make sure Tekkei hadn't seen anything. 'Lover. Affection. Sweetheart.' He tossed those words around in his head, but wound up slamming his forehead right back into the desk, muttering all the while. "This is so lame. Lame. Lame. Lame…"

------------------

Jakotsu sat worriedly beside his bedridden best friend. He had noticed Suzaku's usually graceful movements seemed sluggish and awkward all throughout the day. And after lunchtime the usually lively redhead had lie down with his head on the table, refusing to touch his food and complaining that he felt sick. It turned out Suzaku was running a terrible fever and so his worried friend had insisted he spend the rest of the day in bed. Jakotsu placed a cold, wet towel on Suzaku's forehead, brushing his beautiful red hair out of the way.

"Maybe you've been overstertioning yourself," He suggested, dabbing lightly under Suzaku's hot neck. "You mean, overexerting," Suzaku sighed, shaking his head as he insisted yet again that he had no idea where his fever might have come from. "Maybe I'm just PMSing!" he joked, taking Jakotsu's hand, "Don't worry Ja-Chan! I'll be good as new tomorrow, you'll see!"

"I hope…" Jakotsu couldn't help but frown even as he met his friend's hopeful smile. He didn't know much about caring for fevers. Maybe Suzaku needed something cold?
"Want something cold to eat?"

"Hiten keeps strawberry ice cream," Suzaku replied, sounding excited, so his best friend stood immediately to go fetch some. "Ice cream it is!"

But when Jakotsu entered the kitchen and looked in the freezer he was caught off guard.

Hiten always did all the cooking, so he'd never seen the inside of the freezer before. It was completely packed with frozen treats! It wasn't just strawberry ice cream, but also strawberry cheesecake, chocolate dipped strawberries, strawberry sherbet, strawberry pancakes, strawberry juice concentrate and many frozen whole strawberries stacked up everywhere, even the freezer door was completely packed with various sweet strawberry confections.

"What the hell…" He selected one of the many cartons of ice cream and prepared a bowl of it, but when he returned he found that he couldn't even cram it back into the packed freezer.
'Why in the world do these men have so much strawberry shit?!'

The apartment was fairly new and Suzaku and Hiten had neglected to fill the cabinets with dishware, and yet they had plenty of meaningless, fattening snacks. And now that Jakotsu looked at them, he realized that strawberries were the main ingredient in almost all of the packages of food in the entire house! Jakotsu stood at the cabinets, intrigued.

'Hmm… Don't they say only gay men know how to enjoy their sweets?'
That thought made him chuckle. He couldn't help but picture Hiten carefully stocking his freezer with all of those sugary goodies. He'd probably be so embarrassed if he knew Jakotsu had seen this stash…

"Haha, Hiten's gay…" Jakotsu tittered, deciding to dig through the rest of the cabinets.
He tore open a box of strawberry shortcakes and began to eat them as he observed the many other strawberry flavored treats. "Ooh Strawberry pocky…" he found himself mumbling as the large pink box met his eyes. He reached up and pulled the giant candy-filled box from the shelf, but accidentally dropped it, causing pocky packages to roll all across the floor. He stooped immediately to pick them up, but as he did so, he beheld something even more peculiar.

A cordless telephone lay in pieces on the floor. There was no base in sight, and the handheld unit was hanging open, the battery pack was missing. Retrieving this phone, Jakotsu looked at the cracked screen, wondering what had happened to it. Maybe someone had dropped it? He looked around and before long he found the missing battery. So he put it back together and wandered around the front of the house, looking for the base. When he finally found it he was even more perplexed. The base was hanging off of the living room coffee table, the cords had been ripped out of the wall.

As soon as he plugged it back up, setting it upright and returning the mobile unit to the base, the screen lit up, a bright green LCD flashed with caller ID. "Raiyuki, Hiten". He stared in complete shock as the phone continued to flash silently with this display. And even as he waited a full minute nothing changed. He reached over, flipping the volume switch on the side of the receiver and the phone immediately began to ring. Incessantly it rang on and on, and finally he remembered that Suzaku hated telephones. 'Does Su-Chan really hate them this much?' Is that why it had been unplugged and left in pieces on the floor? Had Suzaku himself thrown it in the kitchen? Well since no one else was going to answer…

"Moshi-moshi?"
The line was silent for a moment, but then the shocked voice of a woman replied.

"Someone picked up! Thank goodness, I thought I'd grow old and die!"

"Um…" Jakotsu mumbled, "the caller ID said Hiten…"
"I am Raiyuki's secretary," she replied, suddenly sounding dignified. "Tell me, would this happen to be Su-Chan's best friend?"

"Yeah…"

"Oh my god, you're a man!? Oh now I get it! No wonder Raiyuki wanted to make you cry! Got a little too friendly with the Mrs, eh?"

"Um…"

"Oh, you should see him! Raiyuki is all upset. He feels so guilty for being mean to you! It's so cute. He's been calling you all day to try and apologize. I tell you what. That man causes trouble all the time with his stupid tough guy act and then he goes and- Hey! I'm not done talking!"

Jakotsu raised an eyebrow at the telephone as he recognized the voice in the background. Hiten was obviously attempting to wrestle the phone away from this woman.
"God damnit Tekkei!" "Wait I'm having fun!" "You are so fired! Give me this stupid-"
"You're so mean!"

Apparently Hiten had finally won the battle, because now only his voice could be heard.
"Sorry, that was my idiot secretary…"

"Yeah, she told me." Jakotsu bristled, suddenly wishing he could still talk to the secretary.
"What do you want, Raiyuki?"

Hiten stumbled over his reply, obviously embarrassed.
"Well- um, I mean… I've been calling for hours, because Su-Chan hung up on me earlier..." Hiten paused as the girl in the room began laughing uncontrollably. "Raiyuki and Su-Chan sitting in a tree-"

"Tekkei shut the fuck up!"

Jakotsu sat down as he listened to them argue for another moment. He couldn't help but feel more at ease now. Hiten sounded like such a child getting flustered over that song…
"So, you want to talk to Su-Chan?"

"Well… No." Hiten admitted. "Um…" Now the sounds of traffic issued from behind and Jakotsu assumed he'd gone outside to escape his secretary. Suddenly Hiten began talking very fast, as if the words had just forced themselves from his mouth. "Okay, fine Tekkei was right I wanted to talk to you. I'm sorry, okay? That's what I called to say. I really am sorry for saying such awful things to you. Let's say it was all a lie okay? Bankotsu loves you, I can tell."

"You're an ass."

Hiten sighed, conceding.
"I know, I know. You can call me what you like. Just… don't cry anymore. Okay?"

"Okay…" Jakotsu shifted a little warily. This apology was not what he'd expected. It seemed that Tekkei girl actually pretty smart… He mumbled his own apology, deciding that Hiten wasn't the only one who'd acted like an ass. "I guess I started it. I shouldn't have had so much to drink. I went and kissed Su-Chan like that…"

"No," the other man insisted, "just- I mean… I'm just sorry, okay? I'll make it up to you, okay?"

"Okay," Jakotsu had said this out of habit. Inside he didn't feel so forgiving, but he had learned that when someone offered an apology it was wrong to refuse it.

"It's just that," Hiten sighed, suddenly sounding even more exasperated. "I freak out sometimes. The things Suzaku does…" Jakotsu waited out the sigh that issued from the other end. It was a while before Hiten spoke again. "He makes me… crazy."

"I noticed…"

Hiten laughed at that blunt retort and Jakotsu couldn't help but join in. It seemed that the tension was clearing now, and he hoped to help it along.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better," he offered, "Su-Chan has been very good today. He has just been lying in bed, telling me stories. He seems happy, even though I know he must feel terrible."

"Terrible? What do you mean? Is he hurt?"

"Oh, no it's nothing like that!" The queen insisted, "It's just a little fever."

"A fever? What the hell…"

"Yeah it's a little strange..."

"What do you mean fever? Suzaku is never sick. Nothing gets him down, not even…" The line went silent, as if Hiten had just come to a startling realization. "Oh fuck…"

"It's just a fever," Jakotsu repeated; clueless, "Shit happens. It's not like it's your faul-"
"Hey…" Hiten cut him off and the queen found himself completely subdued by the sudden sadness in his voice. "Please tell Su-Chan that I'm sorry. For everything."

"Um, okay…"

"I have to work late tonight, so please don't wait up. Help yourself to anything for dinner."

"Like what? Strawberries?" Jakotsu couldn't stop himself, and Hiten laughed guiltily in reply.
"Oh yeah, they're Suzaku favorite, so I can't help myself when I see strawberries in the stores... But you can just call out for pizza or Chinese. Su-Chan has my debit card."

"Oh, okay."

"See you tonight."

"Yeah…" Jakotsu stood there, even as the line went dead, deep in thought.
That had to have been the weirdest conversation he had ever held. Hiten always had that air of superiority about him, but today he wouldn't stop apologizing…
And what was with the compulsive strawberry buying? What did he hope to accomplish by filling the house with useless, fattening little treats? Surely Suzaku couldn't even eat that much.

And what about this whole Hiten and Bankotsu deal? No way was it really just a bluff! But still… Jakotsu knew it was silly to blame Bankotsu for something he may or may not have done years ago. 'And teenage years at that…' But he couldn't help it! Why hadn't Bankotsu ever mentioned it?!

His brain buzzing with curiosity, Jakotsu finally returned the telephone to the base, switching off the ringer so that Suzaku wouldn't be bothered by it. He wandered back into the kitchen and fetched the now melting bowl of ice cream. He decided to keep it for himself, and fixed Suzaku a separate bowl.

Suzaku sat up happily when he returned, but flinched immediately, apparently in a great amount of pain. "Lie down!" His friend insisted, but he refused. "You… can't eat lying down." the redhead grit out, ignoring the pain as he reached eagerly for the bowl.

"Strawberry!" His emerald eyes lit up as the first spoonful met his mouth. "Mmm!"

Jakotsu watched him dubiously, having a taste of his own ice cream. It wasn't anything special, but Suzaku acted like it was some kind of decadent, sinfully delicious treat.
"You really like strawberry…" He observed, watching his friend lick the spoon.

"It's better than sex…." Suzaku fake-moaned, shoveling it into his mouth.

"So that's why Hiten buys so much then."
"Hmmm?" Suzaku paused, curiosity sparkling along with the joy in his eyes. "How'd you know that?"

"Hiten told me. I just spoke to him on the phone."
"The phone?!" Suzaku looked shocked, as if he had never heard of such an atrocious thing. Apparently it was him that broke it and left it on the floor…
"I hate that thing. I hope you turned it off when you were done!"

"I did." He assured. "Anyway, Hiten also said to tell you he's sorry."

Jakotsu raised an eyebrow at the way his best friend froze up when he heard those words.
Suzaku had lifted another spoonful of icecream to his mouth, but then put it back down.
"Sorry for what…"

For some reason, it seemed like that was not a real question. The tone of Suzaku's voice was virtually nonexistent; not at all curious.

"He didn't say why. He just said to tell you that he's sorry." Jakotsu replied, craning his head to try and meet those listless green eyes. "Do you know why, Su-Chan?"

Suzaku shook his head, setting aside his bowl. Apparently he was done eating.
"No. Hiten has nothing to apologize to me for…" But even as he said this, Suzaku crawled back beneath his blankets and buried his head in his pillow. It was as if he was suddenly feeling even more ill than before. "What's wrong Su-Chan?"

"I've got a fever," he immediately replied.

"Sorry, I'm being stupid again huh?" Jakotsu said this out of habit. But those miserable green eyes said differently. 'Maybe Hiten said something mean to Su-Chan too?' What could he have said though? It had to have been something awful… 'Maybe the same thing he said to me?'

"Hey Su-Chan?"
Suzaku turned to raise an eyebrow at him. "What?"
"You think Hiten ever fucked with Bankotsu?"

He frowned at the look on his best friend's face. Suzaku definitely knew more than he was letting on. "I don't real-" Jakotsu cut across him, recognizing that tone. "Don't lie to me Su-Chan. Honestly, tell me what you think."

"I don't think anything," Suzaku sighed, "I try not to think about those things…"
Those green eyes were avoiding his, and so the queen sat on the bed, beside his best friend.
His heart was aching again, and maybe Suzaku could sense that in his voice. "Did Ban-Chan love Hiten? Were they sleeping together all along and I was just too dumb to notice?"
He tried not to imagine that possibility, but it still made his eyes burn. Suzaku was silent, probably too scared to talk. Hiten had said that it was all a lie, brought on by his own jealousy.

'He makes me crazy.'

Hadn't Jakotsu heard something very similar from Bankotsu himself?

'It makes me crazy, to think of you with someone else…'

"They're both fucking hypocrites." Jakotsu growled, "Both Bankotsu and Hiten had the nerve to tell me not to touch you!" Suzaku startled at this new information, but apparently he wasn't impressed. "I don't care. I'm not going to worry about it anymore."

"But they kept this from us!"
"That's okay."
"It's not okay!" Jakotsu put his hands to his face to hide his humiliation, wishing he could grab hold of Bankotsu and scream at him instead. "He's my Aisuru! It's not okay for him to be with anyone else! It's not okay for him to even think of anyone else! And it's not okay for him to keep secrets about who he's fucked with!"

"You sound just like Hiten…"

Jakotsu fumed, glaring over at his best friend. "I do not."
"You do too." Suzaku sighed, "I think you and Hiten were born to hate each other cuz you're just too damn similar!"
"Liar!"
"You are too!" The redhead argued, "You keep butting heads with him because you keep chasing after the same guy Hiten wants!" Suzaku sighed, rolling his eyes as the queen pointed a dramatically accusing finger at him. "So you admit Hiten wants Bankotsu!"

"I didn't say that."
"Yes you did!"
"No, I was talking about myself not Ba-" Suddenly Suzaku's breath hitched and he closed his eyes, apparently in a great amount of pain.
"What's wrong?" Jakotsu asked again. He reached out, but Suzaku dodged. "Don't touch…"
"Why? Are you hurting?"
"No."

But even as he said this, Suzaku's hands automatically clamped down over his ears. He looked like he was trying to shut out some kind of noise that didn't exist…

"Su-Chan, What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" the stubborn redhead insisted, turning away. Jakotsu sighed, giving up his conquest for answers. "I'm sorry for stressing you out when you already have a fever…"

"No Ja-Chan." Suzaku put his hands down, apparently calm now. "This is all my fault anyway…"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing…" Suzaku still refused to look at him, but now the tone in his voice was soft and reverent. He sounded… content. "I've decided not to worry about whatever relationship Bankotsu and Hiten had. What's done is done."

That was obviously Suzaku's final say in the matter. Jakotsu wondered how he could be so suddenly confident, but decided not to ask. Suzaku would probably not explain anyway…
The queen stood then, stacking the two icecream bowls. "I'll go and wash these..."

"Okay. I'll see you later then Ja-Chan."
"Do you need anything else?" He offered, but Suzaku shook his head. "Just sleep."
"Should I turn out the lights then?"

"Yes, please," came the quiet reply. Jakotsu made to leave, but paused, spotting a little red ball of feathers on the floor. He lifted Kotori and handed it over to Suzaku, who accepted it with a smile. "Awe, thanks Ja-Chan..."

"Goodnight Su-Chan." His best friend leaned right over and pressed the sweetest kiss to Suzaku's forehead. Suddenly he didn't want him to leave, even though he knew it was best. 'I love you so…' he wanted to say. Those gentle, affectionate hands radiated the very same sentiment, but Jakotsu soon had to take his leave. He closed the door quietly behind himself, bowing out of the room.

Suzaku immediately dropped the act when the sound of those footsteps faded.
"Itai…" He mumbled, burying his head in the pillow. Everything hurt. His head was pounding and spinning at the same time. His heart had raced when Jakotsu mentioned talking to Hiten, but then it twisted up at the mention of Bankotsu. Just being conscious was a miserable state for Suzaku. He knew very well that this fever was a result of getting too hot and heavy with Hiten, but that was the least of his problems. It seemed that the symptoms of his illness were finally cropping back up again. He could hear voices that didn't belong to anyone he knew. Surely both Hiten and Jakotsu would be freaked out if they ever knew. It was so scary. He couldn't possibly admit…

"You're so dishonest." A voice in his head teased.
"Shut up."
His hands gripped his smooth red hair as he pushed his fingers against his temples. The pain of the headache was easy to massage away, but the voice only multiplied. His symptoms had suddenly worsened. What had the doctor called that again? 'A trauma-induced relapse? I guess I should take my pills…'

"Hey now! We're here to keep you company!"
"You are so ungrateful. Stubborn, stubborn ChibiSu…"

"Don't call me that."

"Why not, ChibiSu?"
"You haven't changed at all."
"You're still just a little birdie in a cage."
"Except now Hiten owns you instead of dear Oto-San…"

Suzaku stood immediately, ignoring the burning pain this caused. "That's enough."
With that said he stalked right off into the bathroom, snatched up one of his pills and promptly chased it down his throat with a full glass of water. At the very least it would help him to fall asleep.

"You think it's that easy?"
"Running away again?"
"Even if you refuse to face it, we remember everything."

"I don't care."
Suzaku crawled right back into bed, burying his face into Hiten's pillow. 'He needs to hurry up and come back home. Distract me like he always does…'

"It's funny when you put it that way."
"He doesn't even know that you're using him."

"All's fair in love and war."
Green eyes slid shut and he focused only on that scent; only on Hiten.

'I belong to you too.'
'I've never once lied to you.'
'Lover is fine. Makes you smile so we'll leave it at that.'

'It's okay,' He kept telling himself. None of it mattered. 'I can get over it.' No matter how painful or completely humiliating, he could weather any kind of trauma if it meant Hiten would still be his. Surely, from the outside, Suzaku must have looked like quite the victim, but he knew that was not the truth. He was very ill, and had been that way before Hiten had ever even touched him. That was the source of his true sorrow.

If anything Hiten was the source of his only solace.
Loving Hiten meant having a purpose. Earning his love meant having something to strive toward. Suzaku didn't worry about finishing his education or finding a job. He had no friends in America or even an actual place in society, since he usually preferred to stay in the house. But that was okay. Like his mother, he did not mind being a trophy wife. He was comfortable at home, resting in his lover's bed. It was safe and comfortable. Hiten did all of the cooking. Hiten took care of the laundry and chores and would even carry him to bed if he asked.

'Suzaku, I just want what you want.'
Perfect. How lucky that Hiten had no idea of just how perfect his ambitions could fit with Suzaku's own desires. Things were definitely looking up. All Suzaku had to do now was carefully get back on schedule with his pills and teach his Hiten to play the perfect role of 'lover,' just like they'd agreed.

'That's right. This is good. It'll be fine.' He kept reminding himself. But as Suzaku drifted to sleep, those voices continued to whisper; haunting. They knew the truth. They knew ever dirty little secret and every ounce of pain he was trying to run from. Locked away with them were his memories of the worst, most shameful secret he had tried so desperately to bury.

"Oto-san…"

Those green eyes flashed in his mind. Powerful, warm arms; controlling and dangerous.
But when he tried hard enough Suzaku could imagine he was Hiten instead. He thought back, allowing those wretched things known as memories to fill his mind and pictured himself right back at that clinic. Angel's smile. White lab coats. His Hiten sat across from him with that tray of colorful sweets, discussing the importance of always speaking with honesty. How noble. At some point his cute nose crinkled up a bit, like he really did detest the little pink cupcake Suzaku had asked for. 'I hate strawberry.'

How ironic. Suzaku smiled as he thought of those dancing, fiery eyes, the only type of chocolate he'd ever been able to stomach.

"And I hate chocolate."
'Just as completely as I love you.'

(AN2: There you have it! 100,000 words! Congratulations! Pat yourself on the back now! While you're at it why not give yourself some strawberry icecream from Hiten's fridge! lol! It's been a pleasure! See you next chapter!

Ps. Leave me a review. Show me some love. Arigatou!

-much love, Kagura)