Hiya! And THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed and wished me a happy birthday! Guess what. We're finally in the garden! And Kuro is finally getting some depth! And one of Kairi's other purposes can be shown. I'm using her to give him depth. Kurama ain't the most masculine fella in the world as it is. I didn't want to add the burden of getting touchy-feely to the poor guy. Let the girl do it. And she does still have more uses, just not yet...

PS: I Love Being a Bad Guy is a 2 shot now. Now it has the story of how the boys met, and why they are so close. Also, how Yoko met Yomi.

I own nothing. Enjoy!

"How are we gonna get across that bridge without them sounding the alarm?" Kuronue asked. He knew that Yoko's Dream Pollen would put them to sleep when they got to the gate, but if they alerted them to their presence with the sound of the bridge falling they'd never get close enough to try...

"I was wondering about that myself," Yoko said.

"Will you put me down already?"

"Notta chance. Any way we could cushion the landing? Muffle the sound a litt- OW!"

"Oops," Kairi said.

"I'll bet that was an accident... OW! Damn it, woman! OW!"

"You want me to stop then put me down," she said. When the bat showed no signs of dropping her, she grabbed another hunk of his sore wing...

"OW!" Kuro flipped his wing - as bad as it hurt him to do so - right back at her, slapping her in the face.

"Prick!" Squeeze.

"Bitch!" Slap.

While they played their new little game, Yoko leaned against the mountainside, watching it all and shaking his head. He looked again at the river between them and the garden. There was a fog lifting off of it. Toxins. 'It would be pointless to try using one of my plants near that fog; they would shrivel and die before they could be of any use. There has to be another way to avert the guards' attention.' He looked at his friends. 'I think I'm getting an idea...' He smiled mischievously.

"Kairi," the fox said, getting both demons to call a temporary halt to the fight.

"Yeah?" she asked, still highly annoyed and making no visible effort to suppress it.

"I think I may have an extra job for you."

"Unless it's a contract on bat-boy's head, there ain't much way I can handle it from here."

"You couldn't handle that from there either, toots," Kuronue pointed out.

"It wouldn't be too hard to sink a blade in your spine from here, jackass. After that I could dismantle what's left at my leisure and you wouldn't be able to move to stop me."

"She has a point, Kuronue."

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" Kuronue said, shooting a glare at the fox.

"I don't care whose side he's on! Let me go!" Kairi said, then she grabbed a handful of black and gave a good hard tug on the thin, sensitive part of his wing. He dropped her like a hot potato and wrapped it around to his front where he could check it for damage and rub some of the pain out.

Yoko found a rock cropping out from the side of the mountain and settled down on it. He might as well get comfy to watch this little show. He was right. Words not suitable for use anywhere other than a cab in the five o'clock traffic were flying back and forth as soon as Kuronue figured out that his wing wasn't hurt as bad as his pride.

"If you hadn't-" Blah blah was all Yoko heard after that. That was the way every sentence was starting. It went that way for a few more minutes, then they got onto what the other had done.

"The only reason you looked my direction was because I was wearin' a D cup! And by the way, Judy and Trudy haven't grew any since the LAST time you checked 'em out, about, what? 30 seconds ago?"

"Don't flatter yourself! I've seen better!" Kuronue shouted back. 'Not without surgical intervention, but I've seen better.'

"You just confessed to spending enough time looking at 'em to make the damned comparison!"

'Damn.' A few minutes later, Kuronue had dug his hole even deeper. Time to dig his way out. After a few more shouts and downs from the girl, "Hey, Broad-zilla! You wouldn't be breathing if it wasn't for me!"

"Oh, really?"

They were on this topic again. Yoko thought about Kairi's being a siren and Kuronue's new job as a musician. He was waiting for them to burst into a chorus of 'Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better'...

"I seem to remember a guy named Mongo swingin' a club with your name on it! I got in his way knowing I was already injured to save your ass!"

"And I seem to remember thanking you for it. I DON'T recall you saying anything of the like when I dived in front of a stream of venom to keep you amongst the living!"

Kuronue was silent for the first time in the last half-hour.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" she pressed; still no answer. "Would it kill you to let a 'thanks' pass your lips? Would it justkill you?"

Yoko fought to keep a straight face. From their expressions and words, it could just as easily have been Yusuke and Kayko standing there. Kuro was puffed up with his arms across his chest, and Kairi was staring him down with that bottom lip pooched out and her arms folded exactly like his. The only difference with these two and the newlywed couple he was comparing them to, was that Kayko and Yusuke fought because they were so different; these two were too much alike – pride, stubbornness, and tempers included.

"Thank you!" Kuronue near-shouted with his sarcasm turned up on high.

Kairi growled, rolled her eyes, stamped her foot, and turned her back. She started walking away.

"What?" Kuronue said, throwing his arms up in the air. Yoko resisted the urge to point out how stupid that had been.

"Whaddaya mean 'what'?"

"What the hell did I say?"

"You don't know?" She looked appalled.

"You wanted me to say thank you, and that's what I freakin' said! What's got the burr under your saddle now?"

"If you can't figure out why I'm mad then I'm not telling you!" she turned on heel and started stomping off again.

"What? How much sense does that make, damnit?"

If Yoko held it in any more he was going to pop. He started laughing, quietly, but still hard. He was bent over double before Kuronue's brain-cramp eased enough to let him notice.

"What the hell is so funny?"

"Do you remember a girl by the name of Mei?"

Kuronue thought back. It took a few minutes, but he finally sifted into the deepest files of his mind's storage bin and shook the dust off that particular page. She was a vixen. A feisty vixen. Yoko met her in a village they were staying outside of when he was somewhere in the range of 16 or 17. He was cold in business affairs back then, but he hadn't yet mastered being that way all the time. He fell for her like a ton of bricks off a ten-story rooftop. She hadn't been quite so taken with him, though. Yoko had chased that girl for months, but in the end, he had nothing to show for it but a broken heart and a bruise on his cheek in the shape of her hand. Kuronue had not been quick to let him live it down.

Yoko'd had his fair-share of dealings with the ladies; feisty ones, mostly. Kuronue had taken the easy route: one-nighter bimbos. Still, he was always quick to poke fun at Yoko's failures with the vixens. To have had so little experience with them, he sure seemed to think he was an expert. Oh, how Yoko was enjoying this. Payback from way-back...

"Perhaps she would come back if called by her nickname," Yoko said, getting a gleam in his eyes.

"Which is?"

"Vixie!" Yoko called down the path. Kairi turned and waited for him to come to her. She wasn't going back to where that thick-headed bat was. She had no clue why Yoko was calling her that, though. He knew her nickname, but he never used it...

"Damn it!" Kuronue said. "You didn't tell me-"

"You didn't ask," Yoko said, seeing Kuronue's anger work its way across his face.

"Vixie, huh?" Kuronue said, appearing to be piecing some things together in his mind.

"Welcome to my world," Yoko said, walking on down to Kairi. He'd save the story on how she got that name for later. One more thing to inform him about a few minutes after the time to use the info had came and gone...

Yoko explained what he had in mind to her, and after a few minutes of rubbing his temples, Kuronue joined them. Almost instantly, he started probing her to tell him what the hell she was mad about. Big mistake. The fight was on again. Curse here; shout there...

"You know," Kuronue huffed, "if I'd known I was going to get my wings back we could have left you back in Human World!"

'Not if my plan works,' Yoko thought. 'Besides, I don't think we'll maintain these forms much longer. The energy I used in the cave isn't returning to me, and I doubt yours is either. I'm assuming that means that I'm fading back into Suichi's form slowly. It's better this way. As strong as we were when we first changed, we would never have been able to get close to those gates.'

"I wish! I'd rather be back home with the guys! The only reason I came-"

"Was because Kurama asked! Yeah! I know!"

"Was because I wanted out of my prison for a little while and I didn't think you'd be THIS big of an ass!"

That took Kuronue a second to catch. "Prison?" he asked in a whole new tone.

"I was tired of spending all day playing Martha Stewart in front of the boys. I wanted to come out and play. That's why Kurama didn't hesitate to extend the invitation."

Kuro cocked an eyebrow. The look clearly stated that he wanted to hear the rest of this on the way to the bridge. They started walking again, Kuro listening; partially because if he wasn't talking, he couldn't get his ass in more trouble...

"The boys don't know about the guild. Not about me ever being near it, at least. They don't know anything I did before I found Toy a few months ago. Just that I roamed from town to town. Not one of 'em thinks that I can throw a punch without breaking every bone in my hand."

"Why?"

"The last time me and Toy saw each other, he was 14 and I was 8. I didn't know my dad; Toy thought his was dead. He was the man of the house; always taking care of baby sis. He saw a little girl one day, then the next time he saw me I was like this. He missed the part where I grewup. I'm still the kid who used to come cryin' to him when some punk called me a name and I still need to be sheltered. It helps him sleep, so I let him think it."

"What did you do before? I doubt you woke up one morning and decided to be a merc."

"I didn't go into that job by choice. I fell in with some other orphans after Mama died. We lived in a rough neighborhood, we'll leave it at that. The only way to survive was crime. Fortunately, we were good at it."

"So where does the roaming come in?"

"After one of them planted a knife firmly in my back." Kuro looked on, silently telling her to continue. "I was grown by then. I took off and didn't look back. Drifted to keep from being found. Eventually started liking the rogue life. Still pulled a job every now and then, just to keep money on hand if I needed it, but mostly I just rambled through the backwoods. Till I found Toy and met the boys, I was never in one place for more than 24 hours."

"You're miserable, aren't you?" he remembered what it was like. The rogue life. Free as the breeze, he used to say. He came and went as he damned well pleased. He answered to no one but the Lord above, and that was only when the Lord saw fit to send down some nasty weather to tie him down for a while. He and Yoko had loved that life. That's what hurt most about getting trapped in the Human World. It wasn't so easy to run wild there. He'd have to risk discovery, and in the weak bodies he'd been stuck with, that wasn't something he could do. Once you lived that life, tasted that freedom, nothing else really compared. Being tied to one place was like staying in a prison without the bars. At least in a jail cell, you had the knowledge that you weren't going anywhere. The way he'd been living was a thousand times more cruel. The world was out there, right in front of him, and it teased him every day. And in prison, he wouldn't have to pretend to be a normal boy either. He spent his days now hiding what he was and how he felt. That would change as soon as this was over, though. He would have his body back for good, no matter what he had to do, and he could leave Human World behind forevermore.

"Yep."

"Then why not just tell him? It's gotta be better than that." Both other demons noticed the way he said the word 'that', like he knew all about the subject.

"He'd never be able to live with it. Besides, they're safer not knowing a few things. It's worth it."

"Nothing could be worth living a lie."

Kurama was suddenly feeling much more amicable. He knew his human personality had crept back in there. It wouldn't be long before his body caught up. He thought about a certain woman back in Human World. One who was waiting for him to come home or call to check in. "There are some things," he said, a small smile forming as he thought of Shiori.

"You two are both nuts. When I get out of my shell, I'm heading back home. There's way too much out there to sit around because someone else needs peace of mind." He was thinking of Akari, and his so-called father, and Akari's daughter who was away at college. Then there were the people who called 'Kane' a friend. Other than Kurama, he had no friends. They were useless. Just someone to throw their burdens at you and expect you to care. He looked out for Number One, and of course there was Kurama; other than that, tough luck, world.

Kurama said nothing, though he imagined that he would have just a little while ago. He wasn't sure what to say. He knew that Kuronue would be heading back to Demon World eventually, but he had been expecting him to do it after this lifetime was over. After Shiori was gone, and Suichi's time was nigh. He didn't know that Kuro was planning to go so soon. He reasoned that this wasn't the time. They could talk it over later. Even if Kuro did go, it wasn't like they'd never see each other again. Kurama already knew that he would be free to revert to his demon form when Suichi's days were over, and then there was the tournament. Kurama would be in Demon World for that. He could visit, and he knew that Kuro would visit him. Still, he didn't like the idea of that much time apart. He'd just got his brother back...

"A few months ago I would've thought the same," Kairi said, pulling Kurama from his thoughts for the time-being.

"Whaddaya mean by that? How do you walk away from that life?"

"I didn't want to. I had to choose," she said.

"Don't know about you, but I loved that life."

"So did I, but I found something else I loved more. It was worth it. I get restless, but I wouldn't trade them for the life I had. I wouldn't trade them for anything."

"Let me guess, Suichi feels the same way about Shiori, right?"

"Yes, I do," Yoko said, or at least he looked like Yoko.

"Spell wearing off?" Kuro asked.

"It would seem," Kurama responded.

They ceased the conversation when they reached the edge of the river. Kuronue wouldn't admit it, but he was glad Kairi had come. His wings were flat-out throbbing! It was a good thing she was used to using hers on a daily basis.

Kairi pulled out the same stone she had used to change earlier and did it again. This time it was a little, and I do mean little, pink tube-dress. And it was so tight Kuronue thought it looked painted on. 'Now what the hell did she do that for? Not that I don't like the view...,' Kuronue thought. His eyes nearly bugged out at the rest of the routine. She pulled the little band that held the upper portion of her hair in a small ponytail and let it all hang free with the rest, then started running her fingers through it. The strips she touched were changing color! She was turning into a blonde right before his eyes! "What the?"

"This is how we're planning to get the guards' attention," Yoko said.

"Huh?"

"A little distraction so you two can sneak up with that Dream Pollen. I'll keep 'em from pulling the alarm until you get close," Kairi said, pulling her hair until it parted on the side and hung down slightly over one eye. "I don't want 'em giving a good description of me later," she said, seeing the puzzles in Kuro's eyes. "It's an illusion. Just a parlor trick an old friend taught me."

"Oooookay..."

What she did next left him completely bumfuzzled. She pulled a switchblade out of the bag and sliced her own damned throat! It wasn't a deep cut; just enough to bleed, but why the hell did she do that? Then she put some mild cuts along her arms and legs, all in places that would do no real harm, but they were also areas that would bleed profusely, giving the image of a severe wound, when in actuality, it was no worse than a girl would get if she nicked herself while shaving her legs. He was starting to comprehend...

"Ready?" Kurama asked, looking at the blood rolling down the girl. If he didn't know better, he'd think she'd just been attacked...

"I guess," she said. "You know where to go?"

"Yes. Those bushes will give us the perfect cover." Kurama motioned to the bushes he was talking about, so that Kuro would know where they were going as soon as the bridge touched down.

"See ya in a few," Kairi said, spreading her wings. She had to flap as hard as she could, but she made it off the ground and into a breeze. She got across the river and flipped the switch on the other bank. The bridge crashed down on the boys' side, making a combination thumping and splashing sound that could have been heard from a mile away. Kairi had already ran ahead before the boys had time to take the first step onto it.

"Help! Someone, please!" the blonde girl yelled to the two ogres standing at the garden gate. They rushed over to her, unaware that there were two demons coming shortly.

"What happened to you?"

"Are you alright?"

"How did you get here?"

"My friend and I were just taking a walk, and these huge men in prison uniforms attacked us!"

"What?" After a few minutes of the show, she had not only kept the men from calling out the entire army, she had talked them into sending the army elsewhere. They were going to send them back toward the other side of Spirit World's castle, where the blonde said she'd first encountered them. That should keep the gang from running into too many more.

'She's good at this,' Kuronue thought.

After the guard called in to the office on his communicator to tell where the escapees were, Yoko and Kuro sent a blast of Dream Pollen at both. They were snoring even before their heads hit the grass.

"Let's get to steppin'," Kairi said, turning her whole body a bluish color. Her healing stopped the blood from flowing, but that was about it. Kuro realized that she had probably burned out most of that power when she healed his rib.

In no time, they were through the garden. There had been a couple more ogres guarding the rear gate, but all three demons knew how to be sneaky, especially when there was a vast amount of vegetation to use for cover. More Dream Pollen, and the ogres were snoozing. They jumped the gate and were, at long last, in the forest!

They walked the trail on the map, bypassing the decoy trees. Yoko snatched up a few seeds, stems and roots from the plants here. Most were unlike anything he'd ever heard of, let alone seen. At least he was benefiting from the field trip. Kairi did advise against using those plants, saying she had a bad feeling about them, but Kurama assured her he would use extreme caution when testing them. Translation: Shut up. I know what I'm doing...

They could finally see the orchard they were looking for. This had been the easiest part of the trip. That should have made them happy, but they weren't naive enough for that. Something was wrong with this picture...

All at once, the three froze dead in their tracks.

"It's-"

"Too quiet," Kairi and Kuro finished.

They waited for something to happen, but nothing did. After a while, they went on to the trees, keeping their caution cranked to the max. Not difficult for the outlaw band. All three were used to being chased by some form of law enforcement or hounded by old enemies.

Kurama fumbled through his hair and pulled out the seed he was looking for. A plant with little tentacles. He was going to let the plant hold all it could of the sap, then cart it back to Suzuka, but Kairi went back to the bag, and pulled out a thin hose and a few Mason jars. Kurama gladly accepted them. They could hold a lot more this way, and hopefully, they would have enough to avoid making a return trip. He broke off the end of one of the tentacles, which had a sharp tip, then stretched it over the end of the hose. He stuck the sharp end into the tree, and found out that this tree had no solid bark; it was soft. It kind of reminded him of the gummy candy that had the liquid center. As soon as the tip went in, the hose was filling with sap. This was easier than siphoning a gas tank!

"How much stuff do you have in that damn thing?" Kuro asked, staring at the backpack.

"Enough junk to fill a mall or two. It stores in Pseudo Space, so it never runs out of room," she said. To demonstrate, she reached her arm into the pack and pulled it all the way to her shoulder. Her arm was twice as long as the bag was tall, but she never hit bottom. "Found it right after I took off on the road. Made traveling a lot easier."

"I'll bet," Kuro said, still slightly in disbelief. Then he thought about everything else he'd seen as of late. Nope. Not a thing strange about that bag. Well, there was one thing. "You mean to tell me you've had that thing for years and no one's stolen it?"

"Wouldn't do any good. It only works for its owner. Try it." She tossed it to him and he tried the same arm trick. He felt the material on the bottom of the seemingly empty and normal backpack.

"You. Are. Weird," he said, tossing it back to her.

"Thanks. I try," she smiled.

Kurama finished siphoning the tree and capped off the jars. He'd done all of this rather quietly. He wasn't much in the mood for talking after what had been said earlier. He was still thinking about Kuronue going back to Demon World. They placed the jars back in the bag and he fumbled for his compass and the stone to reveal the gaps. Luckily, the spell Miki'd used hadn't caused him to lose what was in his pockets, it just transferred them to new pockets. He pulled them out just in time for the ambush...

"I had a feelin' that was gonna happen," Kuro said, pulling out his scythes. The crew set to work. This was old news by now. A few random demons who wanted to fight them because they were afraid of someone spotting them and reporting it to the authorities. In the heat of battle, though, neither of them had time to watch the other two all that closely. They didn't notice that some of these convicts recognized the celebrity standing before them. Most went for Yoko Kurama; the man whose death could make them famous!

He handled business as usual, with the exception of one minor detail. The change between Yoko and Suichi felt awkward. He stumbled ever-so-slightly, and was punched, causing him to inhale through his mouth. About the time that mouth flew open, one of the others pushed Kuro at him, and in turn, Kuro pushed Yoko into the tree. His open mouth connected right where the siphoning hole had been, and that squishy tree let out a big squirt on impact. He tried to spit it out, but someone clapped him on the back before he had the chance...

A few minutes later, the fight was over. Kairi and Kuro stood looking down on the fallen convicts.

"These are the guys they're passin' off for criminals?" Kuro said, sneering down on them.

"Yeah, they just don't make 'em like they usedta." Kairi looked from side to side. "Where's the fox?"

Kuro looked around. He didn't see him. 'What if something happened to him?' He panicked, and took a step back. His leg bumped into something. He looked down to see what it was.

Suddenly, he didn't know whether to keep with the panicked feelings, or fall over laughing...

Hmmmm... Now what could he have seen? Wouldn't happen to be that cutest creature I've been talkin' about, would it? REVIEW and the next chapter will get here a lot faster! Please look over any errors on this chappie. This is another one of those I wrote without sleep so it'll be re-proofed after I get a long nap...