Chapter 20

I sat in the Room of Requirement with Pansy and Blaise, each of us tensely waiting for Ginny to return from handing off the necklace to a victim of opportunity. Just before she'd left, we'd gone over the plan once again. She would head into Hogsmeade, choose a restaurant, and wait in the bathroom for the next girl to walk in. When she did, she would put her under the Imperius curse and order her not to touch the necklace, but to deliver it directly to Dumbledore. I knew it would never get there; it would probably be confiscated by Filch along the way, but that way it would be discovered and the Dark Lord would eventually hear about it.

This subject had had to be put to a vote. Pansy was insistent that the girl should touch the necklace to make it seem realistic, but we couldn't risk that. We couldn't leave a death toll. We were trying to save innocent lives, not destroy them.

Eventually, Ginny and I had decided that we couldn't let the girl touch it and Blaise, bless him, agreed. I knew exactly why he'd chosen that option over Pansy's.

Blaise had a sadistic streak; it was part of the insanity he was so often running from. He often made choices that contradicted that nature, as if to spite his darkness, to provoke it, or even to try to hold it at bay. I wasn't sure his exact motives when he made decisions like that, I just knew he made them. Pansy, however, had never made any steps to contain that dark, malicious streak she occasionally let show. She embraced it.

As I was analyzing my friends, the door burst open. The three of us each stood immediately, drawing our wands at person entering. Ginny looked at us with large, shocked eyes. Realizing we weren't about to be horribly tortured by the Dark Lord for our betrayal, we pocketed our wands and sat down again.

It was then that I noticed Ginny's face. She was crying.

I jumped out of my seat again, "What's wrong? What happened?"

Ginny stumbled into the room and began telling us what happened.

She'd given Katie Bell the necklace, feeling horrible about using her Quidditch teammate, but really having no other option as she couldn't let Katie remember she'd been suspiciously standing in the bathroom with a strange parcel. She'd quickly put her under the Imperius curse, telling her to leave the package with Dumbledore. Katie's eyes had emptied and she'd nodded mindlessly before taking the package and leaving the bathroom.

Ginny had eventually followed her, watching from a distance as Katie walked back to the castle. Suddenly, Katie's friend, Leanne, began asking questions about the package she was holding. Katie refused to answer, jerking away as Leanne tried to take the parcel. They'd wrestled for it and it had ripped apart. For a moment, everything was silent, the snow falling gently on the ground as the two girl stared at one another.

And then, Katie was lifted into the air, her head falling back as her mouth opened in an unheard scream, her arms and legs extended as if she was trying to make snow angels while suspended in the air. Ginny stood, frozen in fear as Harry, Hermoine, and Ron raced forward to try to help Katie. Hagrid intervened, carrying the girl back to the castle.

Ginny had headed straight to the Room of Requirement to see us.

Silence filled the room for a moment until I broke it. "Fuck!"

Ginny continued to cry silently as Blaise buried his head in his hands, fighting the demons in his mind that were doing a dance of sadistic glee. Pansy barely reacted, her expression neutral.

I began pacing back and forth across the room, wondering what in the fuck to do. Eventually, Pansy grabbed my arm, her hands tightening and jerking me toward her as I tried to walk away. She stood and faced me, "Draco! Snap the fuck out of it! There isn't anything we can do. What's done is done. There's no point in losing sleep over it. Besides, this is even better." She gave me a cunning grin.

I briefly thought about slapping her. I wanted to backhand her across the fucking room. But I couldn't. A show of so much violence would only scare Ginny, piss off Pansy, and excite Blaise.

I needed to keep them in my control. I looked at the three of them. Ginny was sitting in the same position, her legs drawn up protectively against her chest as tears fell silently down her face in a river of guilt. Blaise was still clutching his head, his knuckles white where they gripped, and nearly yanked out, his hair. In his shoulders, I could see the tension that the war in his mind was causing. I returned my gaze to Pansy, her blue eyes alight as she grinned cleverly up at me.

When I spoke, I fought to contain the fury that I wanted so badly to unleash on her. Someone had to stay in control here, and I certainly couldn't count on my friends to do it. "And why, Pansy, is us accidentally injuring and nearly killing a girl something we could benefit from?"

She flashed another superior smile and whispered "It's more realistic, Draco. It's so much more believable than a stupid girl simply leaving a deadly package for the headmaster. Dumbledore is a genius. He's got to know by now that Voldemort wants him dead. He wouldn't have opened that package, a package left anonymously at his desk. He would have cast some sort of spell to see what was inside. But now, we've got a girl who was seriously injured and under the Imperius curse. Now, what would she have done with that necklace? No one has any idea. All they can do is speculate. But the Dark Lord will hear about it and he will know you were behind it and he will think it was a fantastic, well-thought out plan ruined by some stupid girl. Don't you see, Draco? It all works perfectly."

No. In all honesty, I couldn't have seen that without Pansy's help. When it came down to it, Pansy was better than me at this–whatever it was that we were doing– betrayal, deviousness. But, I understood now what she was saying. There was still one tiny problem. "Pansy, we nearly killed someone today. That cannot happen again. Do you understand?"

Pansy nodded grudgingly and retreated back to her seat.

I turned to Blaise and Ginny, "But Pansy's right. What happened was a mistake. It couldn't be helped. Ginny, this isn't your fault."

Ginny nodded, but I knew my words weren't helping. Just like I knew that if she'd told me the same thing, I wouldn't have believed her. But there was a difference between she and I.

This really was my fault.

I'd been the one who'd gotten them together, who had orchestrated the entire thing, who had asked Ginny to attack the first person who entered the bathroom. I should have told her to attack someone who was walking back to the castle alone. None of this would have happened if I'd done that.

I should have seen this coming.

Analysis was my job. I was supposed to predict everyone's actions. I'd failed.

I'd been the one to put Katie in the hospital.

The next morning, I sat silently at the breakfast table with Blaise. He gave me a charming smile that almost prevented me from seeing the haunted look in his eyes. Almost.

I knew I should talk to Blaise, but for what seemed to be the first time in my life, I was lost for words. There was a war going on in his mind, I knew, but I couldn't think of a way to alleviate it. How could I help my friend fight off the bloodlust that was his natural form, which had been taught to him by the only parent he'd ever known?

I didn't know. But I promised myself that I would think about it. I hadn't slept the past night; whenever I closed my eyes, I saw Katie Bell, floating in the air as Ginny had described her. Except in that vision, printed permanently on the back of my eyelids, Katie's eyes weren't closed in pain. They were staring accusingly at me.

Katie had been sent to St. Mungo's to be healed, but I knew it would be a long time until she was back to normal.

Christmas break was fast approaching, as were the midterm exams. Ginny, Blaise, and I threw ourselves into our studying to avoid the dark thoughts that now plagued us. Pansy didn't need to.

Pansy was stronger than the rest of us. She knew how to compartmentalize, how to take those feelings and thoughts and just push them aside. I think it's because of her witnessing her mother's murder at such a young age. Or maybe she didn't have feelings at all.

She wouldn't be the first of my friends to be diagnosed as a psychopath.

No, I think Pansy experienced emotions. She wasn't nearly as insane as Blaise would become some day. Her sadistic streak was extreme, though. Especially when it came to her mother's murderers.

I was quickly realizing that I had some fucked-up friends.