I cried. Okay? I admit it. I have to let this chapter go. It'll never be good enough and i need to stop stressing. So, even though it's basically eleven o'clock. I'm taking it out of my hands.

I'd like to take this time to thank all the people who were so faithful to this story and reviewed like every chapter. You guys are awesome and are totally my inspiration. I love you guys.

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek

Epilogue

October 21, 2019: Trip's Birthday: Car

I moved to the backseat of the car. I could not stand to be sitting next to Derek any longer. Besides, this way I could just pretend that he was my chauffer.

This is weird. Writing in a journal again, I mean. I haven't done this since I got married. I've been so busy that even the idea of taking time out of my crazy life to sit down and write about how I was feeling was laughable. But, now I definitely think it's time to start again. I need some serious venting and letting my frustrations out time. And, I'm starting on one of The Trip's notebooks I found underneath the seat I'm sitting on.

Oh, hold on. It's time I kick Derek's seat again. I've been doing this in five minute intervals.

This is how the whole thing started. Well, not really started. But, this is why I'm sitting in the back.

.

.

I keep looking at Derek out of the corner of my eye; however, whenever he looks back at me, I whip my head around and pretend I wasn't looking at him. Finally, after the, like, 5th time this routine continued he rolls his eyes and cries,

"What!"

I glare at him. "I just wanted to let you know that I hate you."

He laughs. "You don't hate me."

"No," I shake my head back in forth. "You don't understand. I really really really hate you. With a burning passion. I'm actually picturing you catching on fire right now."

He chuckles, looking like he doesn't believe me, and tries to grab my hand.

"Don't touch me! I hate you!"

Derek turned at the streetlight. "Casey, please, I didn't do it all by myself."

"Psh, psh… so." I poke him in his shoulder three times. "This. Is all. Your. Fault."

"How? How is it all my fault? Alone?" Derek smirks at me.

"It just is. I don't want to go through this again, Derek. It was not what I would call fun the first time!"

"Well, your spectrum of fun is very small."

I scream out in frustration. "I hate you!"

If I sound like I'm freaking out, then it's working.

Nothing could explain how angry and upset I am right now. And, nothing has ever made me this angry but Derek. And, my brain does this really weird thing that whenever I get this angry it automatically connects the feeling with Derek. So, it's not me blaming everything on Derek. It's my brain. So, really I cannot be held responsible for said 'freaking out'.

The past seven years have been pretty magical. It was no fairytale but everything definitely started falling into place. After Derek proposed, we got married around 7 months later. About a year after we got married I finally got my journals published. And, then two months after that The Pages That Tell My Story was put on the Number One Best Seller's List. I can't even describe how happy I was that I was actually doing something with my life. Something that wasn't being done for me. If I wasn't married, I could have been paying my own bills.

The book was a hit. Woman all over the place loved it. Mothers, non-mothers, woman who had their men taken away from them, women who took men away from other woman, teenagers, young adults. Apparently it was a relief to know that you can still get your fairytale after a lot of bad shit happens to you.

Although, I wouldn't call getting surprised with the Trips shit. It was just definitely unexpected.

And, random. Really random.

I mean, I love them, of course. More than anything. It's just that having three kids at once is kind of ridiculously complicated.

That book basically changed my life. I was on shows like Oprah and Ellen. And, two years after that I sold the movie rights over to a really big movie company, who totally turned it into a blockbuster.

However, I would just like to say that the girl who portrayed me did not do such a hot job, okay. She definitely made me seem kind of neurotic. And, a little bit on the strange side. I always imagined an actress like Angelina Jolie playing me. When I expressed this to Derek, he laughed.

The movie did pretty well and only contributed in making the book an even bigger household name. You could imagine the high I was living on. It was pretty nice.

After that, I started writing books of the fiction variety that did well, also. But, nowhere near as well as my autobiography.

The Trips are doing amazing. It's their tenth birthday today, actually. Annoyingly, they are every bit just like Derek. Brooklyn (who Derek completely spoils to death) is turning into a very girly popular version of Derek. He is so going to completely regret his influence in a few years when the boys start knocking down the doors. I can't wait 'till it all blows up in his face. Nate is starting to show real hockey playing potential, or so says Derek. He has him on early morning workout routines already, that Nate pretends to hate, but secretly loves. From September to early April spending time with Derek gets really hard, so Nate enjoys every minute of it. Sammy is totally mine. Bookworm extreme, but he totally has that dark (not like bad dark) mysterious vibe going on. I am going to introduce him to poetry soon. However, even with this he's definitely into sports. However, it might not be the sport Derek wanted. Derek caught him watching a football game yesterday and almost started crying. I had to literally yank him out of the room before Sammy started crying as well. I mean, geez. They're barely ten.

They have their whole lives ahead of them.

And, every time I think about how in only eight years they'll be leaving me…

No, Casey. You promised no tears today.

"Look, Case." Derek sighs. "Shit happens. We thought we had it under control, but we didn't." He looks at me with that 'Don't-you-just-love-me-'cause-I'm-so-charming' look. I almost slapped him.

"I mean," He continues. "It's not really a bad thing. It worked out well the last time."

"Says you!" I cry out. "You don't have to have anything ripped out of your vagina!"

"Neither do you." He says cockily. "You have that placenta previa thingy! You won't feel a thing."

"How dare you bring that up!" I slap him on his shoulder. "You're an ass."

I grab my purse and throw it in the back seat, and start climbing into the backseat.

"Casey, what the hell are you doing?"

"And, I won't feel a thing?" I cry out; pretending like he hasn't spoken, while trying to get my foot unstuck from in between the passenger seat and the armrest thingy. "Um, how about the months of throwing up I'll be doing? And, the feet and back pain? And all the swelling? And, the fatigue? And, the millions of POUNDS I will gain? And-and-and the frickin' cutting open of my fucking uterus, Derek? I still have a scar from that!"

"Okay, sorry. I didn't mean to excuse the whole pregnancy process. I'm just saying you won't have to go through all that labor crap."

I am not listening to him. "You are such an asshole. An inconsiderate asshole."

"I thought you quit swearing." He says condescendingly.

"I thought you quit knocking me up." I reply in the same tone. "If you weren't so freaking all over me all the time this never would've happened!"

He doesn't respond.

Yeah, I totally got him there.

This is how we found out.

.

.

"Case," Derek says really concerned, rubbing my back. "This is like the third day in a row you've been puking. Maybe we should go to a doctor?" He places the back of his hand on my forehead.

"I'm fine." I continue brushing my teeth. "I'm just nervous."

"Whaddaya have to be nervous about?" He smirks.

"Um, how about the fact that are kids are turning ten today? They're gonna be on their own soon! They're gonna leave me! We're gonna be all alone!" Tears start falling down my face and Derek rolls his eyes.

"Princess, you gotta quit it with all these tears. You're freakin' out the kids!"

"You know what's freakin' out the kids? You telling them if they play football you'll 'keel over and die'!"

Derek rolls his eyes. "Well, it's true."

"Derek, whatever our kids want to do, we support them one hundred percent."

Derek nods his head. "Sure, as long as what they want to do is play hockey."

I roll my eyes and continue my statement. "- which is why I bought Sammy a football."

"WHAT!" Derek shouts. "Are you high?"

"Stop shouting, you're giving me a headache."

They walk downstairs together and enter the kitchen. The Trips are all sitting down at the table laughing.

"How're my beautiful children today?" I say as tears start filling my eyes.

"Aw, geez, mom. You promised!" Nate cried out, placing his head down on the table.

Derek laughed, grabbing his cereal out of the cupboard.

I glare at him.

"I'm sorry. I just thought that after carrying you guys for nine months and then taking care of you every day and giving up my entire life for you guys and loving you-"

"Always the drama queen." Sammy jokes.

I place my hand over my heart at the same time Brook goes, "You guys are so inconsiderate. Can't you see that mom is going through something here? She realizes that soon we are going to be adults. We'll be out of the house, with trips of our own! Everyday she's closer to losing us! We're not babies anymore! And, now she's old! Do you know how rough that is on a woman?" She misses my trembling lips and Derek's not-subtle hand signals trying to get her to stop talking, and adds, "Men, right?"

"Right." I say quietly. "Thanks, honey."

She gives me a hug. "Love ya, mom."

I grin. "Love you, too, baby. And, Happy Birthday."

Derek goes from behind us, with his mouth full. "And, what's with all this old talk? We're not even 35 yet!"

"Dad," Nate says. "Anything over 30 is old. It just is."

Derek rolls his eyes. "I'm in better shape than most 20 year olds, right Miss Brooklyn?"

"Right, Daddy."

Nate sticks his tongue out at her, coughing out, "Suck-up!"

They continue talking amongst themselves. I just watch. I loved my family. I don't think I would trade them in for everything. Big families were the best, even though as a teenager I pretended to hate it. In the midst of my thoughts I got lightheaded. I stumble a little to my left when Derek catches my arm.

"Casey,"

I lean over and throw up all over his shoes.

"Okay, that's it. We're going to the doctors." Derek says firmly. He steps out of his shoes and walks me toward the garage. "Trips! Clean that up!"

"But, I'm not dressed to go out!" I complain. "At least let me brush my teeth."

"I don't care. And, no." He says while putting on a new pair of sneakers.

What a tyrant.

Even when we got into the car, I tried to assure him that I was fine.

"Derek, the feeling's gone. I'm totally good now. Let's turn around."

"The clinic's only, like, five minutes away."

I lean my head back against my seat. "Ugh! The free clinic takes forever!"

Derek looks over at me. "Do you want to die or something?"

"I'm not dying!"

"She's been throwing up for the past three days. She's lightheaded. She's always in a poor mood. She's cranky. She's been feeling slightly off the past couple weeks." He lists.

"Wow, Derek. I didn't know your name was Casey!" I huff from the hospital bed thingy I'm sitting on.

The doctor laughs. "It's fine. I'll just run some tests and we'll get you out of here." He turns and walks out of the door.

"Couldn't we have done this tomorrow, Der?" I ask. "The Trips have their party later today."

He brushes my hair back, and wraps his arms around my waist bringing my face into his stomach. "I just want to make sure that you're okay."

"I am." I assure him. "I swear."

"Well, I really don't want to lose you. So, let me just do… whatever."

I sigh and lay out on the bed.

"Okay, we're all done with your tests." The doctor enters our room again.

"What's that?" I scream pointing at the object that the doctor brought in with him. Derek looks over at the doctor and his eyes widen.

"No, no, no, no, no. Take that thing out of here. Now!" He cries out.

"What he said."

"'fraid I can't do that." The doctor laughs. "You're pregnant."

"No." Derek and I say at the same time.

"Um," The doctor looks around confused. "Yes?"

"NO!" I scream. "Derek! Did you hear him?"

"I heard him." He says angrily. "And, I'm 'bout to punch him in his scrawny-ass face."

"I can't be pregnant! I have that ring thingy and I'm on the pill! We use like triple protection!"

The doctor nods his head. "Yes, well, contraceptives are not 100 percent effective. There is a very small margin for error. You guys must be that one in a million couple."

"Don't make me punch you." Derek glares.

So, after he puts all that cold gooey stuff on my stomach, he turns the ultrasound on and runs it over my stomach. Derek looks like he's going to throw up, so I could only imagine how my face looks.

The doctor looks really intently at the screen. "Yep! It looks like you're around three months pregnant. That's one heart beat and there's-"

"Three months!" Derek looks over at me. "You've been pregnant for three months and didn't notice anything?"

"Shut up, Derek! Okay! Just Shut. Up."

Apparently I'm like really bad at noticing when I'm not having my period. This is the second time this happened.

"You'll have to be extremely careful this time around because of your placenta previa. So, we'll need to keep a closer eye on you. If you have feel like anything's wrong, let us know immediately. It's not healthy for you or the fetus. Possible complications are death, shock, bleeding. I wouldn't suggest working a lot."

"I'm a writer."

The doctor smiles. "Then, that's perfect."

"Nothing about this situation is perfect, doc!"

"Well," The doctor laughs nervously. "I haven't even told you the best part."

"We don't want to know the sex of the baby." I let him know.

"Yes, well, that's fine. I'm just pretty sure you want to know how many you're having this time around. I read your book." He smiles.

I start crying. "Oh, no."

"Again!" Derek cries out. "Is that even possible?"

"Am I like the most fertile woman in the entire history of the entire world, or something?"

The doctor, looking like he wished he was anywhere but there, continues in a strained voice. "Yes, well, congratulations! You're having twins."

And, then quickly exits the room.

I breathe out a huge breath.

"Well," Derek climbs on the bed with me and starts massaging my shoulders. "At least it's only two."

I shoot him a glare that I'm almost positive should have killed him.

.

October 21, 2019: Kitchen: Trip's Birthday Party

Playing hostess while trying not to let on that you're pregnant is hard work, let me tell you. First, you have to smile constantly, and when people ask you how you are you can't actually tell them. Because once you tell them worried everyone will just know that it's because you're about to add two more children to our zoo of a household.

And, Derek keeps looking over at me every ten minutes, which is obnoxious. Probably just to make sure that I'm not about to have a mental breakdown or about to off myself. But, it's getting kind of annoying. Like, please, he wasn't there in the beginning trimesters of my first pregnancy. I was alone. I can so handle this myself.

I just wish there wasn't, like, a thousand annoying kids running around all over the place.

"This isn't a zoo, people!" I cry out to no one in particular. And, it doesn't matter anyway. Nobody listened to me.

"You okay, Case?" Emily asks, popping up out of nowhere with Sam at her side. "You seem tense."

I sigh, trying to shake the feeling off. "No, I'm fine. Time of the month?"

"You sure?" Sam laughs.

I nod, grabbing forgotten plates and cups off the ground.

"Here," Emily hands me her cup of wine. "Drink this."

"Um," Casey laughs nervously. "No, thanks."

"It'll calm you down." Emily adds.

"I just – I just don't like drinking in front of the children." I lie.

Emily and Sam laugh, not believing me. Assholes. I could so quit doing something if I wanted.

Sam goes, "Just like you quit cursing?"

At the same time Emily goes, "You drink in front of the kids all the time."

"Yeah, well," I say getting frustrated. "I'm trying to change!"

Emily's eyes widen. "Casey Venturi, there is only one reason that you would turn down a drink at a party-"

"It's a kid party." I remind.

"So? Casey, there is only one reason why you would and you told me that was never ever ever, with a capital AIN'T EVER, going to happen again."

Sam eyes widen as he catches onto what Emily is saying. Which, p.s. he has some nerve. He is working on his fourth child with his wife, Rachel, as we speak. And, they've only been together seven years.

I burst into tears, placing my hands over my face and the next thing I know I feel someone's hands on my arms leading me out of the backyard. Whoever it is, is behind me and leading me toward the bathroom, so I don't know who it is. They close the door behind us. I don't turn around. I just continue crying.

"Come on, Case,"

I recognize the voice as Derek's and mumble into my hands bluntly, "Derek, I can't do this."

He turns me around. "Yes, we can."

"Five children! Five! You think I can do five!"

"I know we can, Case."

"We?" I screech visciously. "What is this we?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" His eyes flash a quick speck of confusion, hurt and then anger.

"Me. Derek, me! You're always traveling. Especially now that you're team is like really good this year. You're leaving for Quebec tomorrow. And, I – I just don't think that I will be able to handle twins and triplets at the same time, Derek. Maybe it's not smart to have these babies. The Trips are at a crucial age. This is not a time for neglect and –"

"What the hell, Casey? I thought that I proved pretty well I could be around as much as possible the first time around. I know I travel. I know I'm really busy. But-"

I look up at him.

"We're doing it right this time. We're married. We have experience. We have help. We can do this."

"I know." I say. "I know. I'm just scared… of d-dying."

"What are you talking about?" He pulls my face out of his chest and stares right at me.

"I read a long time ago, the first time I was pregnant, that having children again with placenta previa is extremely risky. In fifty percent of woman, the most common complication is death. So, I guess I'm just scared that I'm going to die and that you… you won't be here." I sigh and look him right in the eye. "I am scared that I'll die alone. Without you."

"Oh, Case," He takes my face and smashes his mouth onto mine into a really passionate kiss. He pulls away and says, "Then you go where I go."

"What?" I say, trying to gain back my thoughts after that intense kiss.

"Follow me, Case." Derek goes more serious than I've ever seen him. "Follow me, or I'll quit."

"What? Have you lost your mind?" I smack his chest. "You can't quit."

Um, has he completely forgotten about our three children that live with us? We're not exactly teenagers anymore. We can't just pick up and leave nowadays. Not that we ever could. But, you get the point.

"Have you completely forgotten about the Trips?" I continue. "They have school and stuff."

"Casey, I can't," He hold on my face tightens. "I can't lose you. I can't… this is going to sound really cheesy but, I can't live without you."

"Derek," My eyes water. "That's beautiful but, as much as you like to believe so, we can't control everything."

Derek, with a determined face, states, "We'll figure something out. We always do. We're a one in a million couple. We survive everything."

"Yeah?" He was starting to give me hope, in his stupid hopeful anything's-possible-ass way. "You think so?"

"I know so, Casey." He looks at me with this new weird look I've never seen him look at me with before. "We're Casey and Derek. We've got this. If I have to sit out a year, then I will."

"You mean that." I smile a watery smile. "You would do that for me."

"Of course, I would. I would do anything for you, Case. I'm in love with you."

"Still? Even after all this time?"

Derek laughs, joking, "We haven't even been married ten years yet, babe. Once The Derek Venturi falls in love with someone who almost never falls out!"

I punch him playfully, although I don't know if he knew I was joking. "Does that mean you're still in love with Trish the Bitch?"

His face freezes and he starts stammering. "No, no. I meant that... I said almost! I was just trying-"

I grab his face and basically shove my tongue down his throat.

That shut him up pretty quick, well until he said, "We are so getting your tubes tied after this."

"Mmhmm." I agree against his lips. I kiss his jaw and his arms begin to slip lower down my back. He took my lips again and it left the oddest feeling inside me. These kisses were different. They were filled with more passion, more love, more… he was kissing me like he'd never see me again. So, maybe he was serious. Maybe he would do anything for me. Maybe he meant it when he said I was his everything.

"Derek, if we don't stop now, we're going to end up having sex in the downstairs bathroom."

"Wouldn't be the first time." I feel him smirk against my neck and I laugh.

"Well, if you weren't so horny all the time…"

"If you weren't so insatiable…"

We laugh together. He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. "You with me, woman?"

I nod. "I'm with you." I let go of his hand and mold myself into his side, he wraps his arm around me and holds me tight.

He kisses the top of my head and whispers, "What Derek wants, Derek gets." He smirks, kissing my hair again. "And, I want you."

I smile. The idea of that is actually insanely comforting. I lift up on my tip toes and kiss his cheek and his cheek turns pink. I laugh and we walk back to the party. Together.

So, after some serious consideration, I've realized that maybe this baby, sorry, I mean babies, won't be a bad thing. Maybe it's good. Maybe it'll bring Derek and I closer together. Derek and I can't live without each other. He's my other half. So, maybe my life is a fairytale. But, like a sad Nicholas Sparks one where a whole bunch of drama happens, but always ends with the people together happily and with their love even stronger. Only this time no one's going to die.

The thought makes me smile.

So, for oldtimes sake...

Review?

Laura :)