Lily stood in the hallway of the isolation ward. Tears flowed down her cheeks in warm rivulets. She was quiet, trying to not be seen, to utterly disappear as she kept the statue of Wildegrumblefoot the Wise between herself and Sirius' private room. She'd wondered why Sirius got a private room. A part of her had said it was for the protection of whomever he might share a room with and hex as a result. The more rational part had believed it was because he truly was that ill. He hadn't been up for much tutoring recently, but he simply slept through the days. When he was up for tutoring, he was not his usual sarcastic self at all. Maybe he was missing-

Remus. Remus was a werewolf? How could that be? Still, bits of information started to fall into place and she felt she should have known this before now. Hadn't Sev hinted at just exactly this multiple times? But he'd also hinted at Sirius being a Grim and Peter secretly connecting with Death Eaters. Sev had such an active imagination that it was hard to know which of his tales might be true. It didn't matter any more now, though, did it? She'd lost Severus, and she'd never really had Remus, not if she didn't know something this important about him.

His friends had called him Moony- for how long now? Forever, it seemed like. And the whole deal with Sev and Sirius in the forest- what had happened? Sev had said he was planning to follow the Gryffindor boys. Had he followed them? And to keep the school's attention from- Lily gasped as she realized the meaning of Remus' "furry little problem"- to distract the student body, Sirius had taken the fall for months. He'd withstood glares and comments. Lily herself had called him some vile things, thinking he had tried to get Sev killed, tried to set up Remus, did it all on purpose. A fresh gush of tears spilled over onto her cheeks, and she couldn't quite stifle the accompanying sob. For several weeks now, Sirius had been lying here alone. Plenty of sick students came in to visit him, and his health was worse off than most of theirs, but no one who knew him, no one who really trusted- not just admired, but trusted- him, had been to see him. And Lily... well, she'd been a bit of a fuckwit to him, truth be told.

Professor McGonagall came and stood outside Sirius' room just then. Her expression was strangely blank, and she took several deep breaths. When the moans started again, she rubbed her forehead and turned to go back into the room.

Lily must have been leaning out from behind the statue too far, because McGonagall clearly spotted her and stopped on the spot. After a moment's odd indecision, the older witch cocked her head and called out.

"Miss Evans, I shall refrain from asking you why you are out of bed after hours for just this once, as I think you can be of some help to me. Come here."

Lily ducked out of her hiding place and wiped the tears from her face. Her eyes still felt raw and her nose felt stuffy and runny at once. She wanted to fall asleep, but right now she knew she was going to stay up and help Sirius Black. Certainly she wasn't doing it because James Potter had given her the order, but because he needed help. Professor McGonagall needed help. She would have helped long ago if anyone had asked her, but she could see now why no one could.

Professor McGonagall's expression shifted from preoccupation to concern when the light hit Lily's face as she neared her professor down the corridor.

"My dear Miss Evans, whatever are you crying for? If you're feeling ill, you should go to bed-"

"No, no, professor. I just... I just ran into..." she swallowed hard to keep from sobbing the words out in some great childish manner. "I just saw Potter in the hallway, and he- he- he-" It was a great wasted effort, because the tears spilled over again. Crying was so much easier than voicing the things James had said. Once upon a time, maybe she would have asked 'what's so bad about a werewolf?', but she'd been immersed in wizarding culture long enough and heard enough stories from Severus to know what a silly, stupid kind of question that would be. She'd heard the pain herself, heard the blood-rending screams of a wolf. Sirius had heard it too, with his ears, and...

"Oh dear." Professor McGonagall frowned down at her. "How much did he tell you, then?"

"I dunno." After all, if he had kept something, how would she know? "But about Remus, and, and, he said it's where he was headed. I tried to follow, see, and he told me to come here if I wanted to be of help."

"I am going to take so many house points from him personally that Gryffindor will never see positive numbers in this generation."

"Oh no, professor. You don't have to- I mean, it was my fault. I tried to follow. He was just trying to get me to stop."

"Well, at least it worked," McGonagall sighed. "Are you sincere about wanting to help? I know there's no love lost between yourself and Black."

"Please," Lily pleaded. "Remus is my friend. I'll do anything."

McGonagall hesitated briefly before she opened the door to Sirius' room and pulled Lily inside. Lily was surprised to see that he was dead unconscious. He did seem on the mend- from the bird flu anyway- as he'd passed the sprouting feathers stage. His skin was red and raw from where he had done, but now he was onto the more traditional fever and cramps part of the flu. A few jet black feathers still wreathed his head like down, but blended so well into his hair that they were almost invisible. A ring of feathers around his neck gave the comical impression of a feather boa, and Lily smiled. A black feather boa. She would have to remember it and buy him one someday.

"Sirius Black," McGonagall started, "is a registered animagus. That's how he and Potter- and if I may hazard a guess, Pettigrew- are able to spend the Full Moons with Mister Lupin. We know from experience, though, that one side effect of their bonding is Black's nearly-autonomic transformation into his animagus form on the Full Moon. He complains that there's some sensation he cannot explain that causes a need to change, such as an itch one must scratch. However, in his current state of illness, it would be extremely unwise for him to attempt an animagus transformation." She peered over her glasses at Lily. Lily felt as if her face was bare of anything but utter shock. If her mouth was hanging open stupidly, she hardly even cared.

"We gave him a dose of Dreamless Sleep to keep him unconscious. It's quite unheard of for an animagus to change while unconscious. However, he has tried several times now. Only by repeatedly administering quite a bit more Dreamless Sleep than is advisable under even dire circumstances have I managed to prevent a transformation. I was just about to chance an emergency floo call to Madam Pomfrey. I hate to wake her, as she'll have a full day tomorrow with Mister Lupin, but I'm afraid it cannot be helped. Could you stay here and watch over Mister Black?"

"Uh, surely it would make more sense if I went for Madam Pomfrey?" Lily hadn't a clue how to keep Sirius from transforming.

"Ordinarily, yes." Professor McGonagall pursed her lips in a tense approximation of a smile. "I'm afraid that of the two endeavors, though... Well. Poppy can be quite... ornery when woken at odd hours. We've learned the hard way that it's best not to leave the task to students. You'll do fine, Miss Evans." With one last awkward- and really quite worried- smile at Lily, McGonagall left the room. The door clanged shut behind her, and Lily stared at its bare wooden back for long blank moments before warm, wet tears spilled once again over onto her cheeks and blurred out everything but the flare of candles and a crown of black hair where Sirius Black lay.

*****

That night, they'd decided that any more Dreamless Sleep presented a much higher risk of permanent medical damage than letting a practiced animagus transform, even ill and unconscious. Lily stood quietly by the door as the the Dreamless Sleep started to wear off. It didn't fully lift until mid-morning. Madam Pomfrey had left before moonrise, and Professor McGonagall had left even before then, though not without granting Lily permission to stay and watch out for Sirius if she liked. She assured Lily that she could be woken at any hour if she was needed. And thus Lily watched the boy transform into an enormous dog, and the dog's legs twitch and buck for hours, his barks stifled by a closed mouth, his howls barely at normal voice level. Eventually the running and howling stilled, and all that was left was quiet whimpering. The quiet whimpering faded as the sun rose, to be replaced by what seemed to be a real, comfortable slumber.

At about ten in the morning, the dog blinked up at Lily, who blinked down at it. She moved to pull a few loose- feathers! she laughed- from behind its pointed ears, before remembering that this wasn't a big black dog. This was Sirius Black.

With a started yelp, the dog did actually turn into Sirius Black, and Lily found that most of her tenderest feelings for the animal she'd watched suffer all night faded. Black was, after all, glaring at her with great accusation in his eyes. He opened his mouth, and the last of her sympathies nearly shattered when he spoke.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Evans?"

"Well, good morning to you too, Black. I'm so pleased to see you're well. Why no, I didn't mind losing an entire night's sleep to sit here and watch you, not one bit! I've always thought you needed a babysitter, after all. Maybe I was wrong, and you actually need an owner."

"What are you going on about?"

She puffed out air. "Never mind. I'll shove off now you seem to be ok." She got up and grabbed the sweater she'd brought with her and the cup of water Madam Pomfrey had given her.

"Wait! Wait. You're leaving?"

Sirius sat up, and the boa of feathers caught Lily's eye again. She tried not to laugh. "I was under the impression you weren't terribly thrilled to find me here."

"I, um, need to send a message. Get a message. Send and receive a message. With, uh, James."

"I'm not your owl!"

"No, but I can't have my owl in here, can I?"

"Goodbye, Black!" She swung out of the room.

"Wait, Lily! Please, it's important!" Sirius' voice broke on the last word and she stopped.

The door had shut behind her. She stared at it. The boy on the other side was- urgh, he was so infuriating! He just made her want to bang fists into something. She wanted to go back to her room and get some sleep. She'd already missed a good portion of her classes, and if she slept she'd miss lunch and perhaps her afternoon classes as well. Plus, as a tutor to the sick, she needed to attend the classes to keep up the position. But she wasn't the only student strangely missing from classes today, was she? Remus...

The boy on the other side of this door... Sirius, Lily realized, was posturing. He was trying to seem strong, trying to seem like he didn't need anyone. His family was all like that nasty Regulus. If they saw Sirius' weakness, they'd exploit it and exploit it until they could exploit it no more. Until they saw the end of Sirius Black. And Sirius' most prominent weakness... His great weakness was his fondness for her own friend, her friend laying in the Hospital Wing. And a werewolf? If the Blacks found out, Remus' world would effectively end.

The boy on the other side of this door was very alone and very scared and very much in love. She exhaled and inhaled, trying to find her calm, elusive as it was, and stepped back into the room.

"Alright, Black. You win. I'm going up to the Hospital Wing. What is your message?"